WeTried Translations
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◈ Escaping the Mystery Hotel ◈
Episode 285: Room 204, Mission Room - ‘Hotel Cinema’ (9) - Part 1 (Final)
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- Han Ga-in
[User: Han Ga-in (Wisdom)
Date: Day 132
Current Location: Level 2, Room 204 - Mission Room, ‘Hotel Cinema’
Sage’s Advice: 3]
“...”
“...”
A silence different from the one during Elena's film filled the theater. Jin-cheol's confused voice rang out.
“A-A-ri! Is this really a good ending? Are romance movies these days really like this?”
“... Of course not.”
Obviously not. Seung-yeop muttered without being able to close his half-open mouth.
“Didn't the genre suddenly change at the end? It wasn't romance, it was a thriller!”
“I-Isn't it horror? Horror!”
A thriller? Horror?
“... It's about time we heard some bullshit.”
“Dun-dun-da! Da-ra-ra-da-ra-ra dun!”
Just as Grandfather had said, the Guide made ridiculous sound effects with their mouth. As my companions grimaced, I suddenly realized how important this moment was. What had the Guide said before?
“Persuading the judges is also part of your skill.”
In a sense, Hotel Cinema wasn't entirely a solo experience. The person who entered had to handle the film's story alone, but those of us outside could still intervene in the evaluation of the ending they created.
Song-i had already brought the story to an ending in her own way. Now we had to secure a favorable evaluation!
Seeing the first judge step forward, the Merchant, put me at ease. The second half had gone completely insane, so it seemed perfectly suited to their tastes. Sure enough, they held up an O without hesitation.
“Pass! Good heavens! Another pass! Were you all born in this hotel? Such splendid endings from Miss Elena and now Miss Song-i! Ah... This story is a true paean to humanity.”
... A paean to humanity?
The Souvenir Girl beside them seemed so dumbfounded that she asked, “What part of that was a paean to humanity?”
“Did I watch the movie alone? That those who work diligently receive their reward is surely one form of the utopia humanity has dreamed of!”
“So the heroine ‘diligently’ drove her ex-girlfriend and mother-in-law to suicide, then got the male lead as her reward?”
“Exactly. This is the twenty-first century. Shouldn't people seize what they want through their own ability? How long do you plan to suffer under your mother-in-law's nagging? Just give her a little push from a carriage or terrace. If she crawls back up, put poison in her wine.”
“You've been playing some strange game lately. Could it be Crusader-”
“Ahem! Let's not say pointless things. My evaluation is a pass! A pass! This is totally young! Totally MZ!”
Hotel employees played games too? What exactly didn't this hotel have?
The Souvenir Girl looked utterly exhausted as she held up an X.
“Ha... I really don't know what you people think the word ‘romance’ means. Fine, I'll admit it had at least some direction compared to Elena's. You seem to understand the major elements of romance fantasy, like an ex-fiancée's interference and psychological warfare with the mother-in-law.”
She was the problem, as expected! Unlike the Merchant, she was a judge who preferred sensible developments appropriate to the genre, and her evaluation was full of complaints.
“But you resolve the conflict by killing people twice in a row? Did you not understand the setting? This isn't a high-power world. There's no magic or superpowers, yet you just kill everyone you don't like with the power of an Inheritance and call it resolved? What kind of-”
“Objection!”
The girl raised her eyebrows at my booming voice.
“Let's hear it.”
“Your standards are strange. Why are you calling it ‘romance’?”
“What?”
“Who decided this movie was romance? The hotel only told us the film's title.”
The Guide cut in.
“To be exact, I did tell you the second film was roughly a war movie. But I didn't tell you anything about the first or third films.”
“R-Right! The important thing is that the first film's genre was never decided.”
The Souvenir Girl asked as though she couldn't believe me.
“Then what genre do you think it is?”
“... A thriller? Horror? It's a movie where an evil being appears when the Crown Prince is emotionally vulnerable, kills the people around him, and captures him.”
“What are you even talking about?”
As I faltered, A-ri came to my aid.
“Judge! What was the problem you pointed out earlier? The film's setting is a low-power world without supernatural abilities, but Song-i killed every obstacle with the power of an Inheritance, which doesn't fit the setting. That's right, isn't it?”
“... Right.”
“As you said, that kind of development would be a little off in a romance movie. No one else can use magic or superpowers, but it would be strange if the heroine suddenly used hypnosis to seduce the male lead, wouldn't it?”
“Huh? That might actually be a good development...”
The Souvenir Girl suddenly blushed. While everyone around her, even the Merchant, stared at her in disbelief, Eun-sol quickly made a note.
“The Souvenir Girl likes pure-love hypnosis. Noted.”
“N-No, I don't!”
A-ri hurriedly cut in.
“W-Wait! Listen to me. In a romance movie, Song-i's actions might be a balance-breaking development. But if, as Ga-in says, the genre is horror or a thriller, then there's no problem.”
I took over from there.
“Judge, horror movies often have victims who are ordinary people without any abilities while evil spirits use all kinds of supernatural powers, right? The same goes for thrillers. In many thriller movies, serial killers display such incredible physical abilities that you'd think they were Terminators.”
That was right! What if Taming the Crown Prince wasn't romance at all, but horror or a thriller?
If Song-i and the Crown Prince weren't the heroine and male lead, but an evil being and its victim, then it was natural for Song-i alone to wield supernatural powers.
... It was an outrageous argument, but it worked on the Souvenir Girl. Her eyes spun around. Not figuratively, either. Her actual eyeballs began rolling in circles.
“Y-You're saying the genre isn't romance? Of course, no one decided the genre of the first film, but... Hey! You aren't saying something strange, are you? You said it was romance yourselves!”
“We said that before the film began because we didn't know any better.”
“The participant inside proceeded with the story on the premise that it was a romance movie! I heard countless comments about how things would be natural in a romance movie-”
“Didn't you say narration isn't reflected in the evaluation?”
“At the end, she herself called it romance fantasy to the empress!”
“She must've been mistaken.”
Keep insisting! Just insist endlessly! Looking at the Souvenir Girl's face, I could tell. She was secretly weak against arguments that bulldozed their way through like this!
Reading the mood, A-ri started pushing the nonsense even harder.
“You don't understand? I told you, it's a horror thriller! She called it romance fantasy herself? Ghosts and monsters in horror movies are usually mentally unstable! A scenario where a crazed murderer who mistakes the genre for romance fantasy slaughters everyone around the Crown Prince! Why can't you accept that? That's your prejudice!”
“I-Is this right? No matter how I look at it, aren't you trying to fool me?”
“Hey! Honestly, what does the genre matter? As long as it's fun! You!”
A-ri had started speaking informally now.
“Put your hand on your heart and tell me! Was it fun or not? Be honest, it was fun, right? Admit it? Do I have to give you that great line again?”
A-ri immediately rose from her seat and delivered the “great line” with a wistful expression.
“I'll take veeeery good care of your son! Yay!”
“Pfft!”
She laughed! She just laughed!
The theater was filled with chaos. Unable to hold back her laughter any longer, the Souvenir Girl quietly flipped over her X panel.
“Pass. I'll call it a pass. Though I somehow feel like I've been completely had.”
We got passes from two judges in a row. As if they'd been waiting for it, the Guide burst into laughter.
“Hahaha! You participants are quite capable, aren't you? Excellent! As I said, persuading the judges is also part of your skill. Two out of three judges have already declared a pass, so your success is confirmed. Still, it wouldn't hurt to check the third evaluation, would it?”
The final judge, the Mysterious Craftsman, held up an X without a moment's hesitation. I reflexively raised my hand, but I had no idea what to say.
The first two judges, the Merchant and the Souvenir Girl, had shared their opinions several times already, so we roughly knew their standards. The Merchant preferred distinctive, unique endings, while the Souvenir Girl wanted sensible developments suited to the genre.
But what standards did the Mysterious Craftsman have? A-ri cautiously whispered in my ear.
“This wasn't a problem because we passed the first two judges, but I think that could become a hidden threat later.”
“LEGO?”
“Yeah. We don't know their standards, so we don't even know how to persuade them.”
“Hmm... Shouldn't we just aim to persuade the first two?”
* * *
The first film was truly over. The screen suddenly split vertically, and Song-i and Elena burst out.
Elena was briefly startled, then realized Song-i had resolved everything and beamed as she hugged her.
“Thank you!”
Song-i walked toward us, unable to hide her proud expression.
“You all saw it, right? I know romance fantasy developments so well that-”
There was still a judge behind us! A-ri hurried over and replied.
“I enjoyed the horror movie.”
“Huh?”
“The way you killed the people around the Crown Prince and broke his mind! It was excellent!”
“What?”
“Hey! Guide! The first film is over. Can we go outside for a while?”
“Of course. Please return when you wish to proceed with the next film.”
“Let's get out for now. Just so you know, you were the villain in a horror movie.”
“Huh?”
A Mission Room really was different from a Curse Room in all kinds of ways. Once a film was properly finished, it seemed we could leave.
What should we do tomorrow? Watch another film? Or return to Room 203? Where should we use Sage’s Advice next? I needed to discuss it with my companions.
“Why am I suddenly the villain in a horror movie?”
... Song-i was left confused on her own. I had a vague feeling that we would twist the genres of the remaining films in bizarre ways too.
Footnotes:
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