WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Irevi
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ I Became the Upbeat Newbie the Infinite Regressors Are Obsessed With ◈
Chapter 36: Heresy Purge
──────
[What in the world is this?]
[Author: Amor Fati]
(Photo of Heretic Exterminator’s pizza slice taking up half the roulette wheel)
Is it because this floor is set in Heretic Exterminator’s world?
These odds are legendary lololololololol
ㄴVampire Princess) Aaaaaah!!!!! Why?!
ㄴSolo Hero*) Wow, I seriously want to block you...
ㄴPoisoned My Blade) I have decided to convert after seeing this post.
ㄴPoisoned My Blade) All hail Sola-Estella!!!!!!!!
ㄴDungeon Rogue) Jealousjealousjealousjealousjealousjealous
ㄴMartial God) This is a scam. A total scam...
ㄴArchmage) Hah, everyone is so distracted by the roulette.
ㄴArchmage) Instead of focusing on the fact that the newbie cleared it. Tsk, tsk.
ㄴPoisoned My Blade) Sour grapes?
ㄴArchmage) ......
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) Aaaah, brother!!! Thank you!!! Thank you so much!!!
ㄴPuppetmaster) The odds are exactly 50%.
ㄴAmor Fati) Lolololol I’ll spin it first!
ㄴAmor Fati) I’ll upload the strategy video after this.
* * *
Heretic Exterminator, Elena Evangeline, nearly collapsed from dizziness when she saw the newbie’s post.
“Fwaaaaaah!”
A miracle.
A miracle had happened.
Her own section took up fully half the roulette wheel.
“S-Saintess? Are you all right?”
Hearing her cry, a child flung open the door to the shabby temporary chapel.
“Ah, Miss Solataire.”
The red-haired child was painfully thin.
Of course, Elena herself was not in much better shape.
Hollow eyes. A body with little more than skin clinging to it.
It had been a long time since they had run out of food.
Infinite Regressor Saintess Elena Evangeline had been outplayed in her battle of wits against the demons. With her regression point saved, she was living through a zombie apocalypse.
Unlike Archmage, she could not wield magic. Unlike Puppetmaster, she could not devote herself to magitech.
Divine power.
Her body existed solely to receive that power.
That meant artificial mana organs like a core or dantian could not settle within her.
So she could not even make a regression button.
Days of infinite regression had passed without a single safety measure.
Tears, regret, resentment.
No matter how hard she struggled, her saved regression point never reset.
But those days of suffering were finally over.
The newbie, Amor Fati, had appeared in the Infinite Regression Gallery.
And now, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity had arrived.
Elena spoke in a dry, cracked voice.
“Miss Solataire, I’m all right, so please go back to sleep. I’m sorry I suddenly shouted.”
“A-are you really all right?”
“Yes. I’m fine.”
But the red-haired girl could not easily leave the temporary chapel.
She had become mature far too young.
Who did not know that the Saintess’s divine power was the reason they could survive in this insane world?
Outside the Saintess’s territory, everything had already been tainted by the demons’ dreadful energy.
Of course Solataire could not help worrying that something might be wrong with the Saintess.
Elena smiled and beckoned to Solataire.
Solataire hesitated.
There was not even enough water to drink.
Elena, filled with divine power, was always kept clean automatically. Ordinary people were not.
Looking down at her own grimy state, Solataire awkwardly twisted her hands and feet together.
Elena called to her again.
“Solataire.”
“Y-yes.”
“I’m sorry I woke you. I’ll sing you a lullaby.”
“B-but...”
“Solataire. What did I tell you?”
“Um...”
“Your light pours down equally, without distinction between the noble and the lowly...”
After reciting a passage from the Lord’s Prayer, Elena staggered to her feet and took Solataire’s grimy hand herself.
Then she held the girl in her arms and stroked her matted hair.
“Hush, little one...”
After putting Solataire to sleep, Elena covered her with a blanket.
Then she carefully stepped outside the temporary chapel.
The newbie, Amor Fati, would soon upload the roulette video.
The odds were fifty-fifty.
No matter which result came up, she knew she would not be able to stop herself from shouting.
At least she intended to watch it somewhere secluded.
What greeted Elena outside the chapel was the sight of the refugee settlement.
The only untainted area, barely maintained by Elena’s divine power.
Since the moment of her regression was close at hand, she could see Baal’s Tree in the distance.
A black world tree that stretched all the way to the sky.
It was a demonic tree, nearly ready to bloom after absorbing the Fallen.
Elena clenched her fist and trembled.
“Brother...”
She recalled what the newbie had said.
As long as the Continue button existed, a happy ending was guaranteed.
No one in the Infinite Regression Gallery had thought that way.
They had experienced it.
Even with the Continue button, there were so many Infinite Regressors who no longer pressed it.
Even Elena herself had wanted to give up more than once or twice.
Yes.
She had wanted to give up so many times against that demon bastard, whom even causality could not touch.
But what had the newbie said?
‘...Even better.’
Even better.
The phrase was funny, yet somehow remarkable.
Maybe that mentality was why he had been chosen by the Infinite Regression Gallery.
Who knew?
But one thing was certain.
The Gallery’s choice had not been wrong.
And now, the once-in-a-lifetime chance created by that newbie was approaching.
“Fuuuu...”
She steeled herself.
Gulp.
Swallowing her dry saliva, she opened the Infinite Regression Gallery with a trembling heart.
[The third Trade winner is...]
The same template posted every time.
“Gasp!”
Hoo. Hoo.
Honestly.
Every time she felt this way.
“P-please, Sola-Estella. Just this once, please look the other way!”
There was a reason people became addicted to gambling.
With a guilty twinge, she clicked the post.
[The third Trade winner is...]
[Author: Amor Fati]
(Thumbnail of a spinning roulette wheel)
Not telling you.
“?!?!?!”
What on earth?!
Elena nearly jumped up with a scream.
She calmed herself and continued reading the newbie’s post.
Not telling you.
Why, why?
The result is seriously legendary lololololololol
You should probably see it yourself.
“Ah, ah, brother! You’re far too mischievous!”
Even after reading the rest of the post, the smile would not leave Elena’s lips.
Despite his teasing words, she had already realized that she had won.
Without even checking the comments, she immediately started the video.
A flashy roulette wheel.
Her nickname taking up half of it.
-All right, here we go!
Whirrrrrr!
Round and round and round!
It felt completely different from the usual roulette spins.
Naturally. Half of the wheel belonged to her, so its colors were not jumbled together like usual.
When the roulette, which had spun for a long time, finally began to slow down, Elena gasped.
‘Fwaaaaaah!!!!!’
Screeeech...
The red arrow at the top of the roulette wheel.
It was just about to pass beyond her section!!!
‘No!!!!!’
She immediately began blowing frantically into the empty air.
“Huff! Huff! Huuuuff!!!”
Just moments ago, she had thought winning was certain. But watching the video, she had never felt so nervous.
Her mind was filled with nothing but the red arrow, bent as far as it could go and ready to cross out of her section.
‘Aaaaaah!’
Screeeech...
-Whoooooa!!!
The newbie, Amor Fati, moved this way and that, examining the roulette wheel from every angle.
The winner of the roulette, which had finally stopped, was...
-Congratulations!!!
Elena watched only that far before collapsing onto the ground.
She literally had no strength left to stand.
Dopamine surged wildly through her head.
“Hnnng.”
Her body trembled.
The overwhelming sense of guilty pleasure!
Unable to control her shaking body, she checked the comments.
ㄴPoisoned My Blade) So not fun.
ㄴSolo Hero*) The lack of a twist is the twist...
ㄴSolo Hero*) Still, grats grats grats. This one benefits Heretic Exterminator way more than it benefits the newbie.
ㄴArchmage) I was not particularly expecting anything this time, yet seeing the result is still disappointing.
ㄴArchmage) Still, if it is Heretic Exterminator, she will properly benefit from the Trade feature like Dundo did. Congratulations.
ㄴVampire Princess) Urgh, when on earth will it be my turn?!!!
ㄴVampire Princess) Still, congratulations. You have suffered greatly...
ㄴMartial God) Oh dear, sis lol. Congratulations.
ㄴPuppetmaster) Heh. Welcome to the world of luck flexing, Heretic Exterminator.
ㄴDungeon Rogue) Urgh, Heretic, you have to save my points for me.
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) Brother!!!! Thank you so much!!!!!
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) And thank you to all my brothers and sisters who congratulated me!!!
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) And Poisoned, go reflect on yourself.
* * *
I stared at the roulette wheel.
It had nearly crossed over by a hair, hadn’t it?
Was that the power of faith and divine power?
It was an incredibly dramatic result.
Even I was nervous watching it!
Anyway, back to the point.
What Heretic Exterminator said she could give me through Trade was a holy relic.
‘She said it was a pendant that had been storing divine power bit by bit, right?’
It could not compare to Pinocchia, but still.
‘Nice?’
I had high expectations for this Trade item too.
Honestly, unless I got Dundo again, I did not think there would be any duds.
At first, I had wondered what an artificial organ procedure kit or vampire blood could even be for. But after hearing the explanation, they were not inferior items at all.
Besides, I had already experienced a buff.
‘That was insane. As expected of a Saintess.’
It had even given me a clue toward awakening Aura.
In other words, if I used this well, it could help my growth enormously.
‘Heretic Exterminator’s one-shot damage buff!’
It was probably a holy relic with a fixed amount of power, but my belongings came with me when I regressed.
That meant it was a trump card I could use once every regression.
Something like an ultimate move?
How could I not like that?
I immediately sent Heretic Exterminator a Trade message.
-Amor Fati: Hey, congrats lol. I have plenty of points now, but is there anything else you want?
-Heretic Exterminator: Ah, brother. How can you be so kindhearted...
Heretic Exterminator’s reaction was not especially surprising.
Honestly, I had wondered if spending some shop points that did not mean much to me really warranted this much fuss.
But according to what the other Gallery users said, it was not like that.
Infinite Regressors were fundamentally bound to become selfish beings who only cared about themselves.
They said that if an ordinary Infinite Regressor had received this Trade feature, they would have used their points to throw their weight around.
Even Puppetmaster had added that the odds of that were very high, lending the idea credibility.
‘Do they seriously not have human hearts or something?’
Of course, I was Lee Han-gyeol, the warmhearted Infinite Regressor.
The thought of lording points over someone else?
I had honestly never even considered it.
-Heretic Exterminator: I feel guilty accepting so many undeserved points...
-Heretic Exterminator: But I can no longer stand by and watch people go hungry.
-Heretic Exterminator: So just this once, I will accept your kindness despite my shame.
-Heretic Exterminator: Naturally, excluding Sister Dundo’s donation money.
Of course she would.
Dundo was living through a truly horrifying infinite regression life.
-Amor Fati: Then should I spend everything except 20 points?
-Heretic Exterminator: Yes, as planned.
-Heretic Exterminator: Brother’s seeds...!
For the record, I did not jump back in shock and yell, “Good heavens!”
I was used to this Saintess way of talking by now.
-Amor Fati: Okay, okay. I’ll send every kind of crop seed that can be cultivated.
-Amor Fati: Are fertilizer or water purifiers okay too?
-Heretic Exterminator: Fertilizer is fine. Divine power can handle that. But I do not think water purifiers would have any meaning. It has been contaminated by demonic energy...
-Amor Fati: Got it.
Inside the square Trade box was the holy relic Heretic Exterminator had mentioned, the Pendant of the Sun.
A gold rim, with an orange gemstone set right in the center.
‘Ooh! I was due for a fashion accessory!’
It had a perfectly splendid, sacred feel.
I immediately operated the shop window and selected cultivable seeds, meaning crop seeds.
That left me with 20 points again.
When I pressed the Complete Trade button, the positions of the square boxes switched.
Pop!
Heretic Exterminator’s Pendant of the Sun, trapped in a bubble, was delivered to me.
Plop!
I received the pendant.
“Ooh, this is a divine holy relic, the Pendant of the Sun!”
As expected.
True to a relic of the Sun God, it felt pleasantly warm even just held in my hand.
By the way, why did this feel familiar?
It felt like something I had experienced before...
Anyway, I immediately put on the pendant.
The method of using it immediately entered my mind as if it had been driven into my brain.
“Ah-ha.”
The method was simple.
Archmage had said there was not much difference between the Lord’s Prayer and a Word of Power. As expected of Archmage.
It meant that if I just shouted, “O Sun!” I could draw out as much divine power as I wanted and cast a self-buff!
I fiddled with the pendant for a long while as though playing with a new toy. Then I was expelled from the Tower.
* * *
“Master!”
Pinocchia, who had been waiting for me at the training grounds, called out with a bright expression.
She seemed about to approach with both arms spread wide, but then...
“Hmm?”
She suddenly narrowed her eyes and began sniffing.
“Hmmm.”
Even the color of her core had changed to a strangely sharp green.
‘What emotion is that supposed to be?’
“That’s strange. I was sure I had a bad feeling.”
After pressing her nose to my pendant and sniffing for a while, Pinocchia returned to her usual innocent expression and asked me:
“Anyway, Master! What kind of pendant is this?!”
“Ah, this?”
I told her my grand tale of valor.
Naturally, leaving out every mention of the Infinite Regression Gallery.
It was not as though I had left it out for no reason.
She simply could not comprehend the very concept of the Infinite Regression Gallery.
Was there some kind of built-in protection or concealment function in the Gallery?
She had even completely forgotten that she had repeated, “IRG!” like a parrot.
She already regarded coming over into my world as a kind of miracle.
So I did not mention it further.
‘There has to be a reason the Infinite Regression Gallery does that!’
If I had to guess, the day Pinocchia learned the truth about the Infinite Regression Gallery would come after everyone had reached their happy ending.
Well, in any case, I had properly finished clearing Floor 2.
My regression point had also saved without any problems.
I opened a delivery app and ordered every kind of sashimi, just as Pinocchia wished.
* * *
Clang! Clang! Clang! Clang!
The refugee settlement grew noisy in the dead of night.
“W-what is going on!”
“Saintess! Is the Saintess all right?!”
The flimsy doors of the refugee settlement opened all at once.
Emaciated people, adults and children alike, staggered outside.
Then they saw the Saintess striking a pot in the middle of the settlement, and the pile of grain beside her. They froze in shock.
“W-what is all this?!”
“Saintess? What is this?”
“Th-the relic! The Saintess’s relic!”
The people of the settlement were briefly startled to see that the Pendant of the Sun, which she had always treasured against her chest, was gone.
Saintess Elena Evangeline, with tears in her eyes, continued to shout.
“Everyone, come out! Let’s eat our fill tonight!”
Clang! Clang! Clang!
“Let’s eat our fill tonight!”
Clang!
“Even if it is only thin rice porridge!”
Clang!
“Just for today! As much as we want! Until we burst!”
The sound of the Saintess, standing on the verge of regression, striking the pot echoed through the refugee settlement for a long time.
Clang!
Clang!
Clang!
...
..
.
Footnotes:
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