WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Irevi
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ I Became the Upbeat Newbie the Infinite Regressors Are Obsessed With ◈
Chapter 38: The Greatest Novel Writing Contest Under Heaven
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Pinocchia’s heroic tale was nothing compared to mine, but she excitedly began telling it anyway.
“So then, the kobolds suddenly ambushed us, right?! But this decisive battle weapon, Pinocchia, was not so easily defeated!”
Whoosh! Whoosh!
Pop! Pop!
As Pinocchia punched the air, bursts of air exploded around her.
The more I watched her, the more certain I became that she really was a decisive battle weapon.
The basic attacks of the great Slick, someone high up in Heretic Exterminator’s world, were about that strong.
‘You really are strong, Pinocchia.’
Her strength aside, though, she was terrible at explaining things.
“Whoosh! Then I went bam-bam-bam! You get it, Master? Bam-bam-bam!”
That was what most of her so-called heroic tale sounded like.
Anyway, Hard difficulty Pinocchia was steadily climbing floors and growing stronger.
She had farmed a few Skill Jewels and items, but most of them were kind of mediocre.
Of course, they would have been amazing items by an ordinary Player’s standards.
But Pinocchia herself was so overpowered that many of them were meaningless.
There had not even been many Skill Jewels or items useful to me.
So I decided to liquidate all the items and Skill Jewels through the Director’s hotline.
Did that make my bank balance richer than ever?
Not exactly.
I had not accepted money for the items and Skill Jewels I sold to the Management Bureau.
Magic Stones.
I had traded them for more Magic Stones!
“Excellent. It’s impressive no matter how many times I hear it.”
“Hehe!”
“Then I’ll be counting on you tonight too.”
“Ehehe!”
For the record, by “counting on you tonight,” I meant I was counting on her as a mana humidifier.
I had completely adapted to the breathing technique Martial God taught me.
Without even the slightest exaggeration, I grew stronger just by breathing.
Assuming Pinocchia consumed a certain amount of Magic Stones, of course.
So shouldn’t I invest tons and tons of Magic Stones?
‘Paying cash is a skill too.’
I had found a lead on Aura.
A Tier 1 support.
Sure, I had brute-forced my way through it with the generous buffs of Elena Evangeline, the Infinite Regression Saintess.
But that also meant that, with buffs on that level, I could try two or three times.
I had a pendant, and I had Magic Stones.
In other words, I was going to buy Aura with money while I had the chance.
They sold second advancement manuals in the cash shop. How could I not buy one?
It was an insanely good deal!
If you can’t buy something with money, Normal difficulty Players, then question whether you simply do not have enough money.
‘That’s how the world works.’
Anyway.
As I mapped out my Aura Awakening training plan, I spoke to Pinocchia.
“Let’s wash up and eat first. The delivery will take a while, and I’m all sticky from sweating so much.”
“Then I’ll go get ready!”
With that, Pinocchia beamed as she began laying newspaper over the dining table.
I didn’t know who had taught her, but they had done a fine job.
Satisfied, I headed for the shower.
* * *
Shhhhhhh!
As I stood beneath the warm stream of water, it finally sank in that I had cleared Floor 2.
Which meant...
“Haaa. I have to survive another week.”
That was always the problem.
Infinite retries? Great.
A one-try clear and an easy win? Of course that was great too.
But the problem always came after the clear.
Rewatching my mad movies and training diligently.
Those were the only two things I could do since I couldn’t enter the Monolith.
‘Ha, the next feature unlock isn’t far off either. I hope the perk is something like a preview of the next floor’s information.’
I enjoyed the warm water and those hopeful thoughts for only a moment.
“Times like this call for the IRG.”
Nothing was better than our Gallery for clearing away random thoughts.
With that in mind, Infinite Regression Gallery ON.
[Today, I Held a Small Party!] [15]
As expected, the first thing I saw was a post by Heretic Exterminator, the recipient of this Trade.
[Today, I Held a Small Party!]
[Author: Heretic Exterminator]
(Thumbnail of starving people smiling as they hold bowls of rice porridge)
Thanks to the grain seeds Brother gave us, everyone ate their fill today!
When I regress, I plan to farm with these seeds!
Once again, my deepest gratitude to Brother for giving us this opportunity!
ㄴDungeon Rogue) Hmmm, merely “rice.” How ordinary.
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) If I get the chance someday, I want to try a Chocolate Bar like you do, Sister!
ㄴDungeon Rogue) No, sis. When you put it that way, what does that make me...
ㄴVampire Princess) Seeing the residents smile puts me in a fine mood as well.
ㄴSolo Hero*) You worked hard, Heretic Exterminator.
ㄴMartial God) You have worked hard, ma’am.
ㄴArchmage) Something just came to mind.
ㄴArchmage) Do all the grains multiplied through harvesting follow the regression as well?
ㄴArchmage) If they do, wouldn’t that literally duplicate food?
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) !!!!!
ㄴPuppetmaster) 3%.
ㄴPuppetmaster) Probably only the original grains will follow the regression.
ㄴPoisoned My Blade) Lol, too bad.
ㄴPoisoned My Blade) If that were possible, the newbie really could become a “god.”
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) Lady Sola-Estella is a real god too!
ㄴAmor Fati) Grats grats grats grats grats.
ㄴAmor Fati) I’m really glad it helped.
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) Aaaaah, Brother!!!!!
ㄴHeretic Exterminator) Thank you so much!! It’s all thanks to you!
After that, Heretic Exterminator thanked me for quite a while.
I smiled and accepted every word of gratitude.
The thought that a few sacks of grain had made Heretic Exterminator’s world a little more livable warmed my heart.
Then I said, “Should I upload my mad movie now?”
Heretic Exterminator had been posting for a while and had now stepped away from the Gallery.
The roulette had produced such a strange result that I hadn’t been able to upload my awesome Aura Coating mad movie, so I decided to post it now.
‘As for the Gallery novel contest...’
Couldn’t I hold that after I finished rewatching my mad movie?
Honestly, I was looking forward to it.
But Aura was more urgent.
Now that I had gotten a taste, I wanted to make it fully mine as soon as possible.
I needed feedback from the Gallery users and advanced instruction on blossoming Aura from the head mod.
I made the moment of my awesome Aura Coating into a thumbnail and posted it on the Infinite Regression Gallery.
By the time I had thoroughly soaped myself up, the Gallery users who had finished watching the video began leaving comments.
ㄴDungeon Rogue) I was so shocked that I hit the mute button;;
ㄴVampire Princess) Vulgar! How utterly vulgar!!!! Such vulgarity that even a succubus would have to concede defeat!
ㄴPoisoned My Blade) Are those moans actually insane? Looooooooool
ㄴPuppetmaster) The Gallery user Heretic Exterminator and the real-world Elena Evangeline seem to be different people...
ㄴArchmage) Heh heh, you have lost your mind.
As expected, the comments had already become a complete mess because of Heretic Exterminator, Elena Evangeline’s R-rated moves.
On the other hand, some Gallery users seemed entirely uninterested in Heretic Exterminator and focused on my Aura Coating.
ㄴSolo Hero*) That’s Aura?
ㄴMartial God) That’s sword energy?
ㄴSolo Hero*) How did you do that when your inner image hasn’t even matured yet;;
ㄴAmor Fati) ?
ㄴAmor Fati) You explained it yourself.
ㄴAmor Fati) You said controlling power too great to handle was Aura.
ㄴSolo Hero*) No, that comes after the inner image has settled in. I never expected you to force your way through it with sheer power before forming an inner image...
ㄴMartial God) Looooooooooooooooool
ㄴMartial God) Where did the old man go?
ㄴMartial God) What? The harmony of magic and martial arts?
ㄴArchmage) You waiter bastard!!!!
The Infinite Regression Gallery’s time-honored bait was rolling again for the first time in a while.
After briefly blocking the two of them, the head mod continued explaining my realm.
ㄴSolo Hero*) First, newbie, the reason you only reached Aura Coating is simple.
ㄴSolo Hero*) Refining your power was good, but you didn’t mix your inner image into it.
The head mod often acted like an empty-headed idiot, but she was clearly an expert in her own field.
ㄴSolo Hero*) Normally, you awaken your inner image first, then go through the process of controlling the power you build through training techniques or elixirs. How did you manage to reverse the order? Lol.
ㄴSolo Hero*) Even looking at it again, it’s really fascinating...
ㄴAmor Fati) There’s no bad effect, right?
ㄴSolo Hero*) Yeah. Why would there be? You just did the advanced study first.
ㄴSolo Hero*) You already solved the most time-consuming part of Awakening Aura, so all you need now is for your inner image to mature.
ㄴAmor Fati) Noted.
ㄴAmor Fati) So what do I do to awaken that inner image?
ㄴSolo Hero*) Lol, what else would it be? Meditation.
ㄴVampire Princess) There is no shortcut for this.
The moment I read those comments, my head spun.
It felt like watching stocks or coins I had invested in crashing in real time.
‘My Magic Stones!!’
Okay, according to the head mod, the inner image was important for Awakening Aura.
It sounded like meditation would do something with that inner image.
Then my reason for investing Magic Stones in Pinocchia had become less meaningful!
I thought I would awaken Aura by cramming as much mana as possible into myself!
Of course, it was still definitely beneficial to me, but regarding Aura Awakening specifically, didn’t that mean the Mana Humidifier Mode, which devoured a ton of Magic Stones, was not all that important?
ㄴAmor Fati) Wait.
ㄴAmor Fati) I was going to feed Pinocchia Magic Stones to break through to Aura.
ㄴAmor Fati) Did I waste my Magic Stones, then?
ㄴSolo Hero*) Nah, not at all.
ㄴSolo Hero*) Until your inner image properly settles in, keep training while cramming mana into yourself.
ㄴSolo Hero*) Experiencing a higher realm even once is an enormous opportunity.
ㄴVampire Princess) People don’t say that your channels are opening for nothing!
ㄴSolo Hero*) And above all, even a one-shot coating is still Aura.
That was a relief.
It hadn’t been completely pointless.
Of course, I was going to keep Mana Humidifier Mode running full-time anyway.
But if it was going to consume Magic Stones, it felt better to get two birds with one stone.
After the blocks were lifted, Martial God and Archmage returned and taught me the details of inner-image training.
Things like sinking deep into my unconscious and contemplating the things that made up “me.”
My training routine ended up being surprisingly simple.
I would train my inner image with all my strength, then repeat Aura Coating training with refined power while burning mana.
‘I feel like I’ve seen this somewhere before.’
For some reason, I had a feeling that even after ten thousand Aura Coatings, the sun would never set.
Anyway, my future training method was settled.
I had cleared Floor 2 with an easy win.
‘Tonight, I’ll eat dinner, rest, and watch the Gallery novel contest.’
Thinking that, I dried myself off, sat at the table with Pinocchia, and unpacked the delivery food.
There was every kind of sashimi, along with beef tartare.
Maybe it was because I had been eating nothing but heavily seasoned food lately.
My mouth was already watering.
“Oh, so this is sashimi! Thank you for the meal, Master!”
Click, click.
Pinocchia lifted her chopsticks, her eyes shining with anticipation.
She had prepared an unusual sauce after seeing it on YouTube, mixing olive oil, pepper, salt, and lemon.
Apparently, it was a secret sauce that would keep you from ever getting tired of flounder sashimi.
No wonder she suddenly wanted sashimi.
She must have watched a YouTube food video and wanted to try it.
I picked up a slice of flounder sashimi, dipped it in the sauce Pinocchia had made after watching YouTube, and took a bite.
“!”
Sure enough.
Even YouTube, full as it was of useless information, had one ray of hope!
‘This is good.’
I had always been on the soy sauce side when eating sashimi, but I was starting to change my mind.
That was when it happened.
Pinocchia, eyes still sparkling, dipped a piece of flounder sashimi in the sauce and ate it.
“...Urp.”
Furrowing her brow, she sprayed dark green light in every direction.
“W-what? They said it was unbeatable with just this...”
Pinocchia insisted the sauce was wrong, then ate sashimi dipped in soy sauce, sweet-and-spicy vinegar sauce, and even fermented bean paste sauce in succession, but every attempt was a bust.
She slid the sashimi plate toward me.
“...Pinocchia feels full just watching Master eat his fill.”
I could only raise my eyebrows at that sight.
Seriously.
When some people were starving because they didn’t even have a bowl of rice porridge, how dare she complain about side dishes?
She had eaten Cockroach Protein Bars just fine, but she had adapted far too quickly!
‘I’ve spoiled you too much!’
It looked like she needed a firm lesson.
Looking over the plates filling the table, I said, “Pinocchia, back to your seat.”
“Eek.”
“If you can’t finish all this, I’m taking away your internet for a week.”
“N-no!!!”
Despair filled her blue eyes.
* * *
I thoroughly corrected Pinocchia’s picky eating.
Of course, I nearly felt bad about making her eat something she didn’t want to eat, but...
‘Food really should be cooked.’
Pinocchia pan-fried the beef tartare except for my share and turned the sashimi into spicy fish stew, neatly taking care of everything.
‘Oh, my head.’
I nearly lost my senses to dizziness for a moment.
Still, it didn’t matter how you got there as long as you got to Seoul.
At least she had eaten it all deliciously.
Pinocchia switched on Mana Humidifier Mode and shut herself in her workshop, saying she would decorate it.
It was still too early for bed, but I lay down on my bed and opened the Infinite Regression Gallery.
The discussion over my strategy video and Aura training had long since cooled down.
The Gallery was now ablaze with a new topic.
[The First Greatest Novel Writing Contest Under Heaven]
[Author: Solo Hero*]
We will hold a contest where everyone writes a novel about the life of Amor Fati, the hope of our Infinite Regression Gallery and our newbie, then select the best one!!
By the way, the limit is 25,000 characters including spaces, because the newbie might have trouble if it gets too long.
According to the web novel format in the newbie’s world, that is exactly enough for five installments.
Of course, the judge will be the newbie himself.
Dundo said they would transfer a portion of the points gathered in their fundraiser as the prize, so everyone should show off their writing skills.
I grinned as I read the head mod’s post about the novel contest.
‘A life story written by the Gallery users.’
And these were not ordinary Gallery users.
They were Infinite Regressors.
I had heard people got better at writing novels as they grew older.
This was definitely something to look forward to.
Now that I couldn’t enter the Monolith, content like welcome rain after a drought was waiting to wash away my gloom.
Footnotes:
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