WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: ZERO_SUGAR
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
Chapter 152: urban legend (3)
──────
The proper distinction on this conveyor belt was living things versus nonliving things.
The problem was telling which living cargo was alive and which was dead. We did not have time to inspect every box, and thinking about it was giving me a headache.
So why not kill every living shipment?
If it was alive, it would be dead. If it was already dead, we would have made absolutely sure.
"Kill them carefully. Don't break the cargo boxes!"
"Yay~!"
The supervisor did not intervene after the first "Holy Killing."
Yohan sensed that meant his judgment was not wrong, so he became bolder.
"Is this really okay?"
Team Leader Shin raised an uneasy objection, but Yohan shrugged.
"They only exist inside the urban legend anyway, right? It's not like they're really alive."
And even if there really had been living creatures in the boxes, Yohan would not have hesitated.
"All the fruits of this land were granted to humankind by God. Human lives matter far more."
The conveyor-belt work ended quickly.
Everyone who had been trapped was freed, and once the work was complete, the urban legend began to disappear.
"We will have to wait until two o'clock tomorrow to know for certain, but its story has reached its conclusion. It will not appear again."
"What an unusual structure."
Normally, this urban legend would have required several tasks to be completed in sequence.
It was designed so that neither ordinary people nor average sorcerers could resolve it through shortcuts.
To break through it head-on would require at least a Black Knot-level sorcerer.
'The heads of the Five Great Lineages hold Yellow Knots by rank, but their raw ability as sorcerers is around Black Knot level.'
The exceptions would be Pastor Park, the head of Holy Temple Church, and Mrs. Park.
There were those who had mastered mysteries beyond human limits, beings closer to yokai than people.
That took a long time.
Those who became legends and objects of fear, building their prestige and infamy over many years, became like that.
The immortals and ascended beings of ancient myths were usually such figures.
Yet Yohan clearly appeared to be in his thirties at most.
Already a Black Knot at that age.
Based on his strength, Team Leader Shin would have believed he held a Yellow Knot.
'What on earth did Seoul send us?'
The real relief was that this monster was on our side.
* * *
By the time we cleared the Warehouse No. 13 urban legend at Busan Port, it was morning.
"Would you like to rest at the hotel?"
"Hmm. I'm hungry, so I was thinking of eating and doing some sightseeing."
"Are you sure you don't need rest?"
"Yeah... I'm pretty healthy."
It was not an empty boast.
Since entering this world, I had become healthier in more ways than one.
There was the Spartan training with Pastor Park, and my growing spiritual power probably helped too.
They said that as a person's spirituality increased, the body that served as its vessel was naturally affected as well.
"Hmm, if you're hungry, there is an absolutely incredible restaurant."
"Oh, milmyeon? Freshwater clam soup? It is morning, so probably not grilled hagfish."
"Milmyeon. Shall I take you there?"
"Let's go."
We rode in an SUV driven by Team Leader Shin to a restaurant in Busan.
"Oh? This place..."
It was a milmyeon restaurant downtown.
But a sign saying it was closed stood outside, along with another that said renovations were underway.
It was almost impossible to see inside from outside.
"It's closed."
"Actually, this is the second urban legend."
An urban legend?
When I tilted my head, Team Leader Shin continued.
"Have you heard the Chinese urban legend about the noodle restaurant where one person dies when two people eat there?"
"Not at all."
The phrase about being so absorbed in eating that you would not notice if one of two diners died was famous enough.
But a noodle restaurant where one of the two actually died?
What kind of noodle place was that?
"It is a fairly well-known urban legend in China. People eat noodles at an incredibly delicious restaurant, then keep returning like madmen."
People even die, though at first glance it seems unrelated to the restaurant.
"So the story spread and became an urban legend?"
"Exactly. There are surprisingly many cases like that. For example, a butcher that sold unidentifiable meat actually sold human flesh."
There were all kinds of urban legends, so that alone was not particularly surprising.
"But this one is based on a true story."
"Pardon?"
"The origin of the noodle restaurant legend was an owner caught mixing opium poppy into their noodles. There are surprisingly many cases like that. Butchers selling human flesh too... Well, there are more than you might think. Naturally, not in Korea."
Hmm. I thought I knew where that urban legend came from.
The world of living people was scarier than the stories.
"Anyway, this milmyeon restaurant is a materialized version of that urban legend. There have already been several victims."
"How was this not in the news?"
"Well... It has not been proven that the noodles were the cause, and we cannot reveal the urban legend's nature. We cannot sue or arrest an urban legend, after all."
All the Association could do was quarantine the urban legend quickly and buy time until it could be resolved.
"And since you brought me here..."
"How about dealing with this urban legend while you have breakfast?"
"Are you out of your damn mind?!"
You said one out of two people died.
You wanted me to eat those noodles?
"No, please don't misunderstand! This urban legend has not actually caused any deaths!"
"Huh? But it says one person dies when two people eat there."
"That is the title, but the story itself began with a desire to make the business prosper."
In other words, the urban legend began when the owner of a failing noodle restaurant started adding opium poppy.
If they wanted to kill customers, they would have used poison rather than drugs.
"Actually, the method for dealing with this type of urban legend has already been established. It is more common than you might think."
Oh. The Mystic Association really had built up plenty of data on urban legends and anomalies.
"So what is the method?"
"First, safely get through the food being sold. It does not kill instantly, so we can administer a neutralizing agent or use an emetic to induce vomiting immediately."
That made sense.
They could not put too much of a drug into food, so it apparently was not terribly dangerous.
If necessary, we could just throw it up with an emetic.
"Lastly, you make the business prosper. For most cases of this type, the condition is a full house."
"A full house..."
"And the milmyeon here is delicious. So delicious that it would be a shame to dismantle the place."
"That good?"
"There is a reason they call it narcotic milmyeon. Of all the milmyeon I ate after being reassigned to Gyeongsang Province, this was the best."
Losing to an urban legend? The milmyeon owners of Busan needed to step it up.
"Hmm..."
I studied the urban-legend milmyeon restaurant.
It smelled funky.
That had to be because some wicked thing was dwelling in this noodle shop.
"Fine. Let's go in."
"Good. Ah, I have brought emetics, so there is no need to wor─"
"You said it needs a full house, right? I'll bring some people."
"Pardon?"
I told Team Leader Shin to wait and leaped straight to Yurim Hotel in Seoul.
More specifically, the royal floor where the vampires were staying.
I took a small gong out of Gari's mouth and began striking it.
Clang! Clang! Clang! Clang!
"Get up, you little shits!"
"Ghk... What is this all of a sudden...?"
"Master?"
The vampires began rising from their coffins one by one.
They had paid a fortune for a long-term rental on the royal floor, but they did not sleep in beds. They slept in coffins.
"M-Master... What is the matter?"
"Sorry to wake you, but we're all going to eat."
"???"
Poison? Drugs?
That kind of thing did not work on my vampire comrades.
* * *
The owner of the "Restaurant Where One of Two Diners Dies" urban legend was the ghost of a failed restaurant owner merged with an urban legend.
Owner Seok looked at the quiet restaurant and sighed.
For a moment, customers had crowded in, but they had suddenly dwindled again.
Owner Seok had finally obtained a "secret sauce," yet it would be worthless at this rate.
"Hehehe... But once they taste our restaurant's milmyeon even once, they won't be able to stop themselves from coming back."
Owner Seok knew this was wrong.
Even as an urban legend, Owner Seok was a modern ghost with ordinary common sense.
But Owner Seok did not care.
The idiot bastard customers who failed to appreciate Seok's milmyeon were the ones at fault.
Once they tasted it, they would seek out this milmyeon until the day they died!
If only it were not for those strange people getting in the way, claiming renovations were underway and ruining Seok's business!
"Owner, are you open?"
Then a group came flooding in.
A young man wearing a cross around his neck, followed by Westerners who somehow looked exhausted.
A tour group!
"Yes! Of course! What would you like to─"
"I heard one person dies when two eat the milmyeon here. Give us one serving each. And you Chunsiks, do you want dumplings or boiled pork as a side?"
"W-We are not Chunsiks... Boiled pork, please, Master."
"You little shits act like nobles, and now your mouths are fancy too. Just have dumplings!"
"Then why did you ask..."
"Owner, one plate of meat dumplings and one plate of kimchi dumplings per table, please."
The young man, who appeared to be the leader, muttered something in an unfamiliar language. The only word Owner Seok understood was the familiar name Chunsik.
What language was that?
Either way, an order had come in.
Thrilled by the customers he had not seen in a while, Owner Seok began preparing food.
An urban-legend restaurant always had ingredients ready.
It did not take long for the milmyeon and dumplings to be ready.
"Twenty-five servings of milmyeon, and fifty plates of meat dumplings and kimchi dumplings!"
"Wow. The presentation looks good."
"Um... Master, are there no forks? I am not used to using chopsticks."
"Chunsik, how long have you been naturalized as Korean? You still cannot use chopsticks? Can you call yourself a son of Korea?"
"I'm from the Netherlands..."
The young man simply told them to eat however they could.
Judging by how the Westerners fidgeted, the young man held considerable authority in the group.
"Then, let us eat─"
"Grace first."
"Ah..."
"Huh?"
"N-Nothing, Master."
Yohan began saying grace.
In truth, Yohan was not someone who said grace before meals.
He did it when eating with church people, but how could anyone exhaust themselves by doing that at every meal?
Still, he was saying grace now to set an example.
If he wanted to convert these musty vampires and make them congregants, he had to change his own behavior first.
Seeing this, he understood why pastors tired themselves out by saying grace every time and striving to set a good example among their congregation.
"Amen."
"Amen."
With grace finished, the vampires began eating.
The moment they tasted the milmyeon, their eyes flew open.
"This flavor?!"
"It is cool and sharp! What an exquisite balance!"
"These seasoned noodles are spicy, but the sweet-and-sour savoriness, subtle fruity aroma, and pungent mustard tickle the nose!"
"Is this Orientalism?"
"No, you idiot."
Seeing the vampires wolf down the milmyeon, Yohan grew curious too.
"Kohaku, you should have some too."
"Pardon? M-My lord... Is this not the noodle dish where one of two people dies?"
"They are not dying."
"Th-That is because poison would never work on vampires."
"If one out of two dies, does that mean my noodles are safe if you die, Kohaku? This is the time to show your loyalty!"
"My looooord!"
Kohaku's eyes shook wildly.
The Mountain Lord clicked his tongue at Kohaku as though she were pathetic.
"Little fox, have you forgotten grace? Through my lord's prayer, these noodles have become something halfway to holy water."
The Mountain Lord subtly pointed to the side.
Eight-Foot Sister was not merely devouring milmyeon. Eight-Foot Sister was stealing the Mountain Lord's share too.
The Mountain Lord had handed it over because noodles were not to the Mountain Lord's taste.
"Ah! R-Right! I trusted you, my lord!"
"Sometimes I think Kohaku trusts me the least."
"Th-That cannot be! This Kohaku, as my lord's right hand, was about to shout, 'Shinzou wo Sasageyo!'"
"...No need."
Anyway, the guests ordered enough food to fill themselves.
At the sight, Owner Seok shed tears of emotion.
"Sob! So many customers have come to eat my milmyeon!"
Owner Seok had no more regrets.
Owner Seok's restaurant had prospered like this, resolving the lingering resentment from life.
The noodle-restaurant urban legend was relatively mild.
As the soul merged into the urban legend let go of its resentment, the urban legend itself began to be dismantled.
【Thank you. Thank you, everyone, for eating my milmyeon.】
The vampires sniffled, tears trickling down their faces.
Someone who had refined their cooking their entire life resolved their regret in the manner of a true artisan.
This was the craftsmanship of the East.
The sublimity of Orientalism.
Ah, we shall remember.
One artisan who merely wished to serve his cooking to customers.
Just as the urban legend was dismantled and Owner Seok's soul was about to pass on...
Grab!
【Hm?】
Owner Seok looked at Yohan, who had grabbed his shoulder.
"Hey. You put something interesting in the noodles, did you not?"
【N-No, wait...】
"You violated the Food Sanitation Act, you bastard. Several people nearly died because of you. What makes you think you can pass on like you achieved enlightenment?"
At the same time, an enormous maw approached Owner Seok.
It had wolfed down fifty bowls of milmyeon and one hundred plates of dumplings, yet it still seemed hungry as it opened wide.
Craaack!
【N-No, that is not─】
"Let's make this quick and brutal."
【S-Somebody save me─!!】
Snap!
* * *
"This is... the last urban legend."
Team Leader Shin Sanghyeon had watched Yohan resolve countless troublesome urban legends in just one week after arriving in Busan.
Urban legends were supposed to be cleared by progressing through their stories.
That week had utterly shattered such common sense.
'Is that even a person?'
An urban legend's coercive force and power meant nothing before Yohan.
No, the moment Yohan stepped into an urban legend, it looked as though he became an urban legend himself and swallowed it whole.
"What is this urban legend about?"
A being who had easily resolved more than five urban legends in a single week.
But even Yohan would not find this one easy.
.........
.........
.........
【Screeeeeeeech!】
【Save me! Let me out! Please, let me get out of hereee!!】
"..."
Footnotes:
“Shinzou wo Sasageyo!” means “Dedicate your hearts!” and is a well-known rallying cry from Attack on Titan.
Join our discord at https://dsc.gg/wetried
