WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Hydrogen B.
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
Chapter 120: 120
──────
I flew east using Iing Iing's telekinesis.
Then, in the distance, I saw a city that never slept.
Seoul, Republic of Korea.
I nodded.
“Finally, home. Iing Iing, how was today's overseas trip? Was it fun?”
-Iing!
“Good. If we get a chance to travel again, let's do it often.”
Iing Iing nodded energetically, apparently pleased with today's outing.
I never knew she'd enjoy going out this much.
I should take her to another country next time.
Japan, for example.
As we headed toward Seoul...
-Bzzzzzz! Bzzzzzz!
The smartphone in my pocket suddenly started vibrating like crazy.
What the?
I took out my phone and checked it.
[Missed Calls: 137]
[Text Messages: 234]
“Hmm.”
Countless calls and messages filled the screen.
Apparently, a lot of people had tried calling while I was in China stirring up trouble.
But since I hadn't signed up for roaming, they couldn't reach me.
I muttered quietly.
“I forgot about roaming... An Extreme Lunatic Hell Intelli Wizard like me made such a mistake!”
-Iing?
“Urgh... I've never traveled abroad, so I made a mistake like this. Damn poverty! Damn the poverty that made me forget roaming because I'd never traveled abroad! O heavens! O Primordial Heavenly Venerable!!!”
-Iing Iing...?
It was my first time going overseas.
I'd completely forgotten about roaming.
Next time I went to another country, I had to make sure to get roaming!
That way, I could receive calls and check Hunter Gallery too!
Anyway.
“Everyone worries too much. An Extreme Lunatic Hell Stealth Longbow Apache like me isn't going to lose to some Chinks.”
It seemed people had worried a lot while I was in China fighting the military.
There were quite a few messages asking whether I was okay.
Among them, one name appeared overwhelmingly often.
[Sis]
“...”
It was none other than my sister.
There were dozens of missed calls alone.
And her messages filled the screen.
[Where are you?]
[Call me.]
[Jiho.]
[Please call me.]
[Baek Jiho.]
[You didn't go to China, did you? You didn't, right?]
[You come home and see what happens.]
That last message was strangely terrifying.
“Looks like Sis was really worried... Let's hurry, Iing Iing.”
-Iing!
Fwoooosh.
We crossed Seoul's nightscape and headed for my Extreme Lunatic Hell Premium Luxury Royal Prestige Elegance Suite Home.
When I landed in the yard...
“...”
My sister was standing there motionless.
She must've waited for me all night.
I cautiously checked her expression.
Her face was flushed red, and her eyelashes trembled.
She was obviously fucking furious.
“Hey!!!”
The moment she spotted me, she shouted.
Yelling that loudly in the middle of the night was a nuisance to the neighborhood.
Ah, was that something I should say after setting an alarm for the entire nation?
“Do you know how worried I was?! You crazy bastard...! What the hell have you been doing?! Are you insane?!”
“That’s me.”
“You little...!”
My sister rushed over.
Smack!
She grabbed my cheeks and looked me over from every angle.
Her anger had vanished, replaced by concern and worry.
“Are you hurt anywhere? Are you okay? I heard you fought the military! Is anything wrong?”
“Of course nothing's wrong. I didn't even lose a hair. Who am I? Extreme Lunatic Hell Wizard Hunter! You know Chinks are easy prey for me, right?”
“You think that's something to brag about...!”
Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack! Smack!
My sister hit me repeatedly as she vented her anger.
She really had a lot of energy.
With even more vitality than before, my sister used me as a sandbag for exercise.
I felt proud that the Eternal Young Twenty plan seemed to have worked.
“Sis. That's enough exercise. It's already dawn. It's time for sleepy-sleepy. Go to bed. You look really tired.”
“You really are-”
“Come on, let's go do sleepy-sleepy. This won't do. Iing Iing! Take my sister to her bedroom.”
-Iing!
“Hey! Baek Jiho! Hey-!”
Iing Iing's telekinesis unfolded.
My sister, who had been shouting something, vanished as Iing Iing's telekinesis carried her away.
As expected of my ace pilot.
She was so dependable.
Watching my sister leave, I muttered quietly.
“Sorry, Sis. But it had to be done.”
As she hit me, my sister's eyes had gradually filled with tears.
I felt guilty and sorry.
Thinking about how much she'd worried herself sick over me made my heart ache.
Still, I didn't regret what I'd done.
They'd already targeted me three times.
Now they'd even dragged in the people around me.
It seemed necessary to show them my strength.
If they had any sense, they wouldn't target me anymore...
If they came after me once more...
That was when I'd become a real demon.
I warned them.
Anyway.
“Should I get some sleep?”
Scratch, scratch.
I scratched my head and headed to my room.
Then I got ready for bed.
I showered, changed clothes, sent Iing Iing back...
Then flopped onto my bed and muttered quietly.
“Hmm. I feel like I forgot something. What was it?”
With a nagging feeling, I furrowed my brow and thought.
Then I realized.
“Ah, right! I didn't check Hunter Gallery!”
Damn!
How could a beloved regular of Hunter Gallery like me almost forget Hunter Gallery before bed!!!
So much had happened today that I nearly fell asleep without realizing it.
I picked up my smartphone and logged into Hunter Gallery.
Then I saw it.
[Breaking) Three Chinese East Sea Fleet destroyers and nine frigates sunk in the West Sea. Twelve fighter jets shot down.]
[What the fuck, is there actually going to be a war? Breaking news is pouring in right now. Are they fighting America?]
[Why would America fight the Chinks? They pulled out of the Pacific ages ago.]
[Breaking) Massive battle along China's Shandong Peninsula coast.]
[LMAOOOO all those Chink bastards should die.]
[Did you see the Shandong battle footage?]
[So what happened to that Blue Dot guy? I heard he was attacked by Chink Hunters in Seoul earlier.]
[Breaking) Beijing City Defense Barrier Artifact activated.]
[Why did they activate a city defense barrier? Weren't they fighting in Shandong Province?]
[Maybe a civil war broke out in China. The military split into sides and started slaughtering each other.]
[Breaking) Beijing city defense barrier partially destroyed. Video attached.]
[????????]
[Why the hell did that break? Didn't they say it wouldn't break even if it got nuked?]
[Looks like China's started censoring. All the Chinks' social media posts are getting deleted.]
[Hey, what's with Torumph's social media?]
[Could Blue Dot have done this?]
[Come on, no way LOL. Even if it's Blue Dot, that's impossible.]
...
Hunter Gallery was on fire.
For once, there was news that complete chaos had broken out in China.
Hunter Gallery was spinning theories about war.
I looked through the posts one by one.
[Post Title: Did you see the Shandong battle footage?]
(A video filmed from far away, showing fireballs falling from the sky and Chinese armored forces being annihilated amid countless explosions.)
These fireball-looking things suddenly started raining down from the sky,
then armored vehicles and anti-aircraft guns all exploded.
What is this;;
Some new weapon America developed or something?
└The way armored vehicle turrets flew into the air was fucking violent.
└Feels like the Tower's chaotic era... Back then, there were wars every day, so videos like that got uploaded all the time. Wars still break out these days.
└No idea what kind of weapon that was, but its firepower was insane.
└How do you wipe out hundreds of armored vehicles in one shot?
└Seeing Chink bastards die is so damn satisfying. Fuck, those trash bastards should all die. They always mess with our country, threaten us with war, and pull all sorts of bullshit. LMAOOOOO, that feels great. Buuuuurp!!!
└└This guy is fucking delighted LOL.
└└It makes sense to be happy. Those Chinese bastards have always been poking around Manchuria and the West Sea, causing trouble for our country.
└└Honestly, they had it coming LOL.
[Post Title: Breaking) Beijing city defense barrier partially destroyed. Video attached.]
(A video of Beijing's city defense barrier collapsing after being destroyed by a massive beam of light.)
This was uploaded to Chinese social media.
Beijing's barrier got destroyed;;;
A fucking huge beam of light came flying in, smashed the barrier, and it collapsed. What the hell, seriously?
I heard it could even block nukes. How did it break?
I heard that as long as you paid Points, it was impossible to destroy.
└Didn't they use some kind of Unique-grade artifact made for warfare? It doesn't make sense otherwise.
└Whoa, that's cool as hell. A destruction beam fired out and shattered the barrier. My heart is pounding...
└Why are the pieces falling after the shield broke so pretty? It looks like blue rain is falling LOL.
└Why did that beam disappear as soon as it broke the shield? It should've kept going and hit the city too.
[Post Title: Could Blue Dot have done this?]
(A screenshot of Torumph's social media.)
[MY GREAT FRIEND DID IT AGAIN!]
[ONE MAN. ONE NIGHT. CHINA WILL NEVER FORGET!]
Torumph talked about China and called someone his friend.
Torumph always bragged about being friends with Blue Dot on social media.
Could Blue Dot have done all this?
So Blue Dot got attacked by Chink Hunters today.
Then he got completely pissed off and headed west.
On the way, he destroyed Chinese ships and fighter jets, reached the Shandong Peninsula, wrecked the armored forces, then went to Beijing and even destroyed the city defense barrier.
What do you think of my theory?
Rate it.
└Come on, that's bullshit.
└Big Dot is obviously fucking incredible, but a single Hunter fighting China head-on is a bit...
└LOL even if that shining bastard is Extreme Lunatic Hell Wizard Hunter, the military is crossing the line.
└What the hell do you think Hunters are...
└So you're saying Blue Dot defeated ten of China's Floor 48 Hunters, destroyed the Chinese fleet, shot down fighter jets, destroyed hundreds of armored vehicles, went to Beijing, destroyed the barrier, fired a destruction beam, and did everything? Wo w, wh at a pl au si bl e th eo ry!
└Blue Dot glazing is crazy, you lunatic...
└But Torumph's social media is there. Isn't it possible Blue Dot did it?
└└That Torumph guy has always been out of his mind. He probably has dementia. Look how old he is.
└└Is that so...?
└LOL I just imagined something fucking awesome. It turns out Blue Dot really did everything LOL. Blue Dot really beat up China, and Hunter Gallery users go, “What is this? Some insanely fun hidden-camera prank?” LOL.
└└This guy's lost his mind too.
└└Blue Dot would show up dancing PPAP~
└└LOL, imagining Blue Dot saying, “Newbie Hunter... went to China today...” is fucking hilarious.
└└Why are there so many people getting Blue-Dotted these days?
...
Countless posts and comments poured in.
I clicked my tongue.
“These people still don't know me very well. I thought I'd shown them enough by now. Tsk, tsk...”
Whenever something incredible happened, it was always my doing.
Shouldn't they have learned that by now?
What was so special about common sense that Hunter Gallery users still couldn't open their eyes?
It couldn't be helped...
Once again, I had no choice but to kindly explain it to them!
I quickly wrote a post.
[Post Title: Newbie Hunter... went to China today...]
[Author: Blue Dot]
Newbie Hunter...
I was heading home after going to the Blue House...
Then the Chinks attacked me...
There were like ten of them, sniping me and ambushing me, and they even broke Squeaky (one month old), which I'd bought for my sister as a gift...
It was so scary, you know?
So I just killed them all T_T
No, come to think of it, I let one guy named Lin Chenhuo live.
Anyway, I killed them all, then cut off both arms of the one who was left...
But I got so angry.
I mean, you Chink bastards.
Why are you so regretful, broken, and obsessed with me???
Not once, not twice,
but three whole times.
It was so fucking irritating, you know?
What, were they making Three Visits to the Thatched Cottage or something? Why did they keep coming after me so often...
So I went to China in a fit of rage.
But on the way, Chinese warships and fighter jets blocked me.
So I just destroyed them all T_T
Maybe because they were Chinese-made, they broke way too easily.
Then I went to some place that looked like a coast.
More armored vehicles, anti-aircraft guns, and multiple rocket launchers kept blocking me.
So I just destroyed them all T_T
Maybe because they were Chinese-made, they broke way too easily.
Then I headed to Beijing to see Pingping.
But missiles kept flying at me.
So I just destroyed them all T_T
Maybe because they were Chinese-made, they broke way too easily.
When I got to Beijing, there was this fucking huge, majestic barrier up.
It looked really sturdy.
So I just destroyed it T_T
Maybe because it was Chinese-made, it broke way too easily...
As expected, Made in China products are unusable.
Fleets, fighter jets, missiles, armored vehicles, barriers.
Every single one had such terrible quality!
They broke before you could use them for long!
As expected, King Korea is the king, god, and emperor of manufactured goods.
Let's all use domestic weapons.
King Korea's defense technology is the best in the world!!!
Anyway, after I destroyed the barrier,
there was a Hunter Farm inside.
So I rescued those people too!
They were really grateful to me, and it made me feel pretty proud!
I'm just too kind.
A total angel!
I am Angel-Blue Dot...!
Anyway!
I've done this much, so those Chinks won't try anything with me anymore, right?
I told them during the Formal Contract Ceremony that they'd die if they acted up again.
How dare they send a special forces unit after me, the massacre genius who succeeded Mao Zedong.
They should've shown me respect instead...!
Anyway, I went to China.
It was my first overseas trip, so it was kind of fascinating.
Ask me anything.
...
I uploaded the post.
Then...
Comments came pouring in.
└???????????
└What is this? Some insanely fun hidden-camera prank?
└Come on LOL, no way LOL. Fuck, it makes no sense. Why does it feel real though? This is creepy as hell.
└Bullshit... No, fuck, what is this for real??? What is it??
└Is this a true story?
└Uh... So you're saying that in just a few hours, you killed Hunters from China’s Highest Floors, destroyed the fleet, destroyed the fighter jets, destroyed the armored forces, and even destroyed Beijing's barrier?
└└Blue Dot: Oh, you understood perfectly.
└└No, that makes no fucking sense. I know you're strong, but you fought the military? Is that even possible???
└└Blue Dot: Why wouldn't it be? You just do this and this, then they die. The Chink military isn't anything special LOL.
└└;;;
└I saw the video. What were those fireballs that destroyed the armored forces? They fell and explosions went off, blowing up armored vehicles and everything.
└└Blue Dot: Ah, those were my AGM-114 Hellfire Missiles. I'm Stealth Longbow Apache, so I can fire AGM-114 Hellfire Missiles.
└└Unbelievable.
└What was that light that destroyed the Beijing barrier? It looked like you destroyed it with some huge destruction beam. Was it a Unique-grade artifact?
└└Blue Dot: Ah, that was my Mana Cannon, «Final Spark». I'm Lunatic Marisa, so I have the ability to use magic. Bullet barrages are power, ze!!!
└└Touhou Project freak... Stop joking even in a situation like this and answer seriously...
└There are eyewitness accounts saying you shot down fighter jets with some kind of blue light. What was that?
└└Blue Dot: Ah, that was my Railgun. I'm Level 5 Railgun Misaka Makoto, so I can fire Railguns.
└└You fucking insane otaku, this isn't the time to play a character!!! Tell us the truth already!!!
└└Blue Dot: I'm Extreme Lunatic Hell Heaven Conscience, so I only tell the truth every day... But no one believes me... I'm so hurt. I'm sulking now???
└└We're the ones who are hurt, asshole.
└Honestly, no matter how I look at it, this sounds like a lie. But this bastard's record is so ridiculous that it feels real too. Still, it's something you'd never believe unless you'd been shot in the head. My brain fucking hurts...
└└For real, this is making me dizzy...
└But did you see the satellite images of the Shandong Peninsula? The ground was black and dead. What was that?
└└Blue Dot: Ah, that was evidence of the time I briefly went dark and became a Chink...
└└? What do you mean, became a Chink?
└└I... can't keep up with this bastard's mental state... What does evidence of becoming a Chink even mean...
└└Blue Dot: I, an eco-friendly Hunter who should be keeping Earth green and green, briefly lost my mind... Nietzsche was right. If you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you...
└└You lose your mind every day.
└└What the fuck does Nietzsche have to do with this LOL.
└Hey, why is Hunter Gallery getting so slow?
└Server, don't get sick...
└??? : Bought the server.
└Fuck, could the server be crashing because this bastard's bait post made the number of users explode? The news is blowing up right now. Foreign media are covering it too. Are people seeing that and all coming to Hunter Gallery?
└Come on LOL. Even if Blue Dot is world-class, there's no way the server would...
That dawn.
Hunter Gallery crashed.
Footnotes:
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