WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Hydrogen B.
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
Chapter 161
──────
The next morning.
As usual, while I ate rice mixed into soybean paste soup, I checked the morning news.
[Blue Dot secures 13.71 million Points in one day... Republic of Korea achieves its first monthly Point surplus since the Tower era]
[Government “officially expresses gratitude.” President bows again during live broadcast.]
[Thank-you banners appear across university districts... “Thanks to you, we held on until graduation”]
[Festivals held at traditional markets nationwide. Merchants: “Half price to celebrate saving the country”]
[London Convention regular meeting, D-2.]
[Government strengthens access restrictions around Ryanggang Province and North Hamgyong Province, former North Korean regions. Specific reason withheld.]
...
The articles went on and on.
I nodded in satisfaction.
“The whole Republic of Korea is expressing its gratitude to my august self!”
It seemed that while I had been sleeping soundly, the government and citizens had decided to show me proper respect.
The government and President had officially thanked me. Universities and private companies had put up banners expressing their gratitude. Citizens had even held spontaneous festivals at markets.
At last, the citizens of King Korea had begun to recognize my greatness!
Anyway, this feels great!
The morning of a Republic of Korea that had escaped destruction was this refreshing.
Just as I was grinning from ear to ear...
“Jiho, take this.”
Trudge, trudge.
My sister brought over a box and set it on the dining table.
Thud.
It made a heavy sound. It seemed to weigh quite a bit.
I was confused.
“Sis, what’s this box?”
“Deliveries and couriers have been arriving through the National Intelligence Service all morning. Oh, and that isn’t the only one. Look over there.”
My sister pointed toward the living room with her thumb.
When I glanced that way...
Boxes were piled up like a mountain.
“What? When did our house become a logistics warehouse? Why are there so many delivery boxes? It reminds me of when we used ramen boxes to hold loot in that old semi-basement place...!”
“Take a look. They’re all deliveries from pretty impressive places. Hmm... I can sort of guess what’s inside.”
“?”
“See for yourself.”
My sister demanded that I open the boxes.
I put down my spoon and opened the box on the table first.
What came out was none other than...
[Certificate of Appreciation]
[In recognition of your immense contribution to protecting the lives and safety of citizens of the Republic of Korea amid the crisis of the Tower era, we present this plaque on behalf of the entire nation.]
[Government of the Republic of Korea]
[President Jang Daehan]
A shiny gold-foiled appreciation plaque!
While I had been sleeping soundly, that bald old man had slipped me an appreciation plaque!
I nodded.
“Hmm. I made the country achieve a Point surplus, so he immediately sent me something like this? Nice instincts! I welcome presents like this!”
An appreciation plaque bearing the seal of the Republic of Korea government had arrived at my house!
It was gold-plated and shone with a golden gleam, making it look exceedingly classy.
A gooolden appreciation plaque!
It was worth displaying on the bookshelf in my room!
Of course, the President was not the only one who had sent an appreciation plaque.
Every time I opened one of the boxes piled high in the living room...
“Jiho, this one is from the National Assembly. This one is from the Hunter Association, this one came from some foundation, and this one is from a company...”
“There are infinite appreciation plaques!”
Whether it was politics, business, or associations, every influential group in King Korea had slipped my august self an appreciation plaque!
There were dozens of plaques scattered before me now. It would be difficult to put all of these on my bookshelf.
I would have to select a few and use them as room decorations.
For reference, there were various things besides appreciation plaques.
[Proposal to Confer an Honorary Doctor of Philosophy Degree, Korea University]
“Sis, if I accept this, that means we’ll be alumni, right? Heh heh. It makes me want to lift my head and look toward Gwanak...!”
“I wasn’t a philosophy major. And Jiho, an honorary doctorate isn’t a real degree. Celebrities get them too.”
“Silence!!! How dare a mere bachelor’s degree holder undermine the authority of my august self, a Doctor! Respect the authority and academic credentials of Dr. Extreme Lunatic Hell!”
“But this is a little surprising, Jiho. Why philosophy? Philosophy doesn’t really suit you.”
“The philosophy professors must have been deeply moved by the posts I made on Hunter Gallery. There’s no one more philosophical than me, really! Nietzsche said, ‘Know thyself!’”
“That was Socrates, not Nietzsche...”
The academic world had randomly sent a degree proposal.
[Lifetime Free Pass, Shnil Chicken]
[Unlimited Pass, Pitza School]
[Unlimited Use Pass, Papa Touch]
“Wow, these actually seem useful, Jiho. Eating out will be free from now on.”
“Hmm. Free chicken, pitza, and burgers for life? I suppose I’ll have some once in a while. After all, the most delicious meals are free meals!”
“Lend them to me later too.”
The food industry had sent unlimited-use passes.
[Maxim Special Issue, Bikini Edition]
“Oh...? A bikini edition commemorating the Republic of Korea’s complete Point surplus? What an admirable magazine company! These guys have truly refined taste!”
“Men really are pathetic...”
“Silence!!!”
Some admirable Korean magazine company had even released a special issue that gave considerable thought to my tastes.
These guys were very admirable indeed!
Whether the editor truly understood the greatness of bikinis, their aesthetic sense was excellent.
I should carefully store this in my room’s drawer.
Anyway.
That was how I opened and examined the presents delivered through the government and National Intelligence Service.
There were gifts in all shapes and forms from all sorts of places.
It was fun, like opening gacha boxes.
As I opened the boxes one by one...
Flutter.
“Huh?”
A small envelope rolled out from between the large boxes.
What was this?
Had someone sent a gift certificate or something?
Anyway, I picked up the envelope from the floor and examined it.
It was an ordinary letter envelope.
I looked at the writing on its surface.
[To Hunter Blue Dot. From the Sunshine Hospital Neonatal Ward.]
“...”
When I opened it, there were several lines of crooked handwriting and a photograph.
It was a group photo of mothers holding their tiny babies.
“Hmm!”
I looked at the photograph and letter for a moment.
Then I carefully folded them and put them into my pocket.
My sister asked,
“Jiho, what’s with that expression? Did you get something really good? You look incredibly happy.”
“Yeah. It was quite a good gift. Maybe the best gift here.”
“What kind of gift was it?”
“Gratitude.”
“?”
It was a letter where I could feel the gratitude more deeply than in any other present here.
An SSS-rank gift.
Anyway.
That was the morning of the first day of the Republic of Korea’s Point surplus.
* * *
Around afternoon, I waited for a guest.
That guest was none other than...
“Hunter Baek Jiho. Hello.”
“Hello to you too, Miss Han Seonga.”
Miss Han Seonga.
I had waited for her to transfer my Points.
Then Miss Han Seonga’s gaze moved past my shoulder toward the mountain of boxes in the living room.
“It seems they were delivered properly.”
“Oh, right. They said those presents were delivered through the National Intelligence Service? The agents must have had a hard time. There are quite a few, so mere mortals who aren’t Hunters would have struggled to carry them.”
“About half still remain. Once the inspection is complete, we will deliver those as well.”
“? Half remain?”
What?
There were enough boxes to fill half the living room of our mansion.
And there was still another half left?
At this rate, our living room would really become a logistics warehouse!
Anyway.
I transferred the Points.
With my hand on the crystal ball...
[Please specify the number of Points to transfer to the Republic of Korea.]
“All of them.”
[Transferring 13,716,000 Points to the Republic of Korea.]
“Hunter Baek Jiho. We have confirmed 13,716,000 Points. We will deposit 137.16 billion won into the designated account. The Republic of Korea will remember your dedication.”
Bow.
Miss Han Seonga gave another perfect right-angle bow today.
It was an artistic angle no matter how many times I saw it.
But for some reason...
Today, Miss Han Seonga did not straighten up.
What was this?
“Miss Han Seonga? Why do you keep bowing?”
“...”
“Is your back not straightening? Gasp, did you strain something...?”
“No, Hunter Baek Jiho.”
Slowly.
Miss Han Seonga straightened her back and stood upright.
She spoke with an odd expression.
“It’s just... it struck me again.”
“Struck you again?”
“That the person standing before me truly saved our country.”
A faint smile appeared on the lips of the normally expressionless Miss Han Seonga.
“Thank you. Sincerely.”
“That was me.”
I casually rubbed beneath my nose.
Hearing something like that from the ice queen Miss Han Seonga made me feel oddly good!
“Ahem. Then shouldn’t the National Intelligence Service send me at least one appreciation plaque?”
“It is already in those boxes.”
“...Oh, really?”
“Third row, second box from the left.”
You remembered that too?
As expected of an agent, she had an exceptionally thorough memory.
I hoped she would use that thorough memory to protect my identity well...
But that would be asking too much, wouldn’t it?
Then, at that moment.
Bzzzt.
Miss Han Seonga’s smartphone vibrated briefly.
She looked at the screen.
Then...
The faint smile left her lips.
“...”
Her face hardened in an instant.
After checking the screen a few more times, Miss Han Seonga immediately raised the phone to her ear.
“Yes. Confirmed. I will return immediately.”
Click.
After ending the call, she looked at me and spoke.
“My apologies, Hunter Baek Jiho. Urgent business has arisen, so I will take my leave first.”
“Ah. All right. Take care.”
“We will deliver the remaining presents as soon as the inspection is complete. Then...”
Bow.
Miss Han Seonga gave a brief bow and headed quickly for the front door.
Click.
The front gate closed.
I nodded.
“The National Intelligence Service sure is busy!”
They had to go around collecting Points. They had to inspect and deliver my presents. On top of that, they had to do their regular work.
It seemed like a very busy workplace.
I was lucky to be a Hunter.
It was a job where I could lie around at home wasting time, head to the Tower, click magic a few times, and come back.
I really chose my profession well.
Anyway...
I looked over the presents in the living room again.
Shiny appreciation plaques, a Korea University doctorate, unlimited free-use passes, and even a Maxim special edition...
I casually raised my smartphone.
“I should... brag about this, right?”
Yesterday, I could not take a proof shot because I had brought back no loot from the Tower.
But today, I had not even entered the Tower and had already gained a mountain of loot.
This was my chance to avenge yesterday’s lack of a proof shot!
Click! Click!
After taking pictures of the appreciation plaques and passes, I quickly wrote a post.
[Post Title: Y’all Don’t Have Stuff Like This at Home, Do You???]
[Author: Blue Dot]
(A photo shows dozens of appreciation plaques, an honorary degree proposal, various lifetime free passes, and a suggestive magazine.)
Yeah, it’s your big bro.
SAVED KING KOREA.
So places all over gave me this kind of junk.
First, I got lots of appreciation plaques from various places.
They aren’t really worthy of someone of my stature, an Extreme Lunatic Hell Wizard Hunter.
But whatever.
I’ll decorate a corner of the living room with them.
You should all consider it an honor!
Oh, right.
From now on, call me “Doctor,” okay?
I got one.
A Korea University Doctor of Philosophy degree.
If someone asks about the future of the nation, tell them to lift their heads and look to Gwanak...!
God is dead!
I also received various lifetime passes.
Enjoy it endlessly, yaru~
Anyway, I got this and that, and now the living room is full.
Opening delivery boxes is work too.
I should head to the Tower soon.
...
Shortly after I casually posted it, comments began to appear one after another.
└? What’s all that?
└There are appreciation plaques, gift cards, and a lot of other stuff.
└Whoa, did people send all that because Blue Dot saved the country?
└Seeing it like this, I can really feel how absurdly huge Blue Dot’s status is... Why are there so many appreciation plaques? Are you really the pathetic loser who hangs out with us on Hunter Gallery? I’m getting cognitive dissonance...
└Fuck, is that the President’s appreciation plaque for real? Look at that gold foil shining, it’s fucking gaudy lololol
└└But God-honestly, that’s pretty restrained for an appreciation plaque given to Blue Dot bro... Even if we made one out of solid gold and offered it to him, it still would not be enough. He saved our country.
└└Hmm... agreed.
└What the fuck are those passes? I don’t need appreciation plaques or anything, but I fucking want free food for life. Wouldn’t that mean free meals forever?
└Big sib, buy me one whole Pitza. You’ve got a free pass anyway, right? Buy me some Pitza.
└What’s with the honorary degree? Fuck, Korea University is my alma mater. And it’s even the same philosophy department?
└└Blue Dot: Is it a doctorate?
└└No, it’s a bachelor’s degree.
└└Blue Dot: Heh. I’m a doctor. Kneel, inferior life-form.
└└???? Have you lost your mind?
“Heh heh heh.”
I chuckled as I read the comments.
The Hunter Gallery dweebs were amazed and jealous as I casually bragged about my presents.
This was why I could not resist bragging.
Anyway, I had shown off the tribute I received.
Should I go now?
I waited for my party members.
“Enter Tower.”
[Baek Jiho (Republic of Korea: Floor 49)]
[Na Hyeji (Republic of Korea: Floor 49)]
[Choi Yejin (Republic of Korea: Floor 49)]
[Please select the floor you wish to enter.]
“Floor 49.”
[Entering Tower Floor 49.]
Flash!
The conquest of Floor 49 began.
* * *
The glow subsided.
I slowly looked around.
What I saw was the familiar wasteland.
And in the distance stood the city walls, with Wall-Iing Iing rising beyond them.
Once again, we had started near the city today.
I gazed at the city walls and murmured contentedly.
“Heh heh. My city is peaceful today too.”
Even from afar, it looked perfectly fine.
Wall-Iing Iing stood firmly blocking the north, and people could be seen moving along the city walls.
“Iing Iing, look over there. The wall named after you is standing so proudly!”
“Iing!”
Iing Iing puffed out her chest on my shoulder.
She seemed quite proud that the wall bore her name.
Then, at that very moment.
KABOOOOOM!
A sudden, massive explosion and deafening roar rang out.
And then...
Rumble...!
Wall-Iing Iing collapsed in a heap.
“Iing!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Iing Iing let out a scream.
It was a desperate cry unlike anything I had ever heard from her before.
If I had to guess, it meant something like, “What the fuck, my wall!”
And I was left speechless too.
No.
Iing Iing’s Wall-Iing Iing...
Had become a Crumble Mansion!
Footnotes:
The line about looking toward Gwanak riffs on Seoul National University’s famous slogan, comically misapplied to Korea University.
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