WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: Chen

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

◈ Incarnation of the Malevolent Star ◈

Chapter 32: Part 1 - Whispers of the Dark Brother (32)

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A bad adult's struggle to get his hands on two billion won in government money had begun.

As he drafted a Rural Resource Integrated Commercialization project proposal for submission to the county's Agricultural Policy Division, the Legal Hunter tried to put his mind to work as “youngly” as possible.

'Even if they're writing the same resume, the one written by someone in their twenties and the one written by someone in their fifties are different from the ground up...

'A business proposal is no different. To stand out among all those applicants, I need to cast off the stale, drab air of people my age.'

The Legal Hunter knew the state of this region, and of the province as a whole.

The average age of the competitors applying for this support project would be in their fifties.

There would be younger applicants in their twenties and thirties, including people who had moved to the countryside, but nowhere near enough to lower the average age much.

Normally, when submitting documents to a public institution, attaching a physical product sample amounted to little more than including photos and an explanation.

Among farmers in their forties and fifties, or locals from this area, there would not be many people forward-thinking enough to use any other method.

For instance, making a prototype introduction video, uploading it to some platform, turning the link into a QR code, and attaching it to the application, as the hunter was doing now.

'And how many of them could make a video that didn't look rustic, or, to put it bluntly, old-fashioned?'

Even Legal Hunter, who had studied the latest trends for years under the pretense of being an internet broadcaster, had only recently realized that he was still outdated and showing his age.

He had come to that realization after interacting with viewers of many age groups.

'Does a prototype introduction video really need to exist only to introduce a prototype?'

As he racked his brain until his head throbbed, the hunter caught hold of a flash of inspiration.

'Why not film it as YouTube content and submit that? It'd feel much more natural! If the people in charge find it entertaining, so much the better!'

His daughter in Seoul was also improving her video-editing skills by the day.

Though she had graduated from a proper university in Seoul, she had failed to find a good job and drifted from day to day.

This poor daughter of his saw the editing work he had given her as the opportunity of a lifetime.

He could hear her desperation even over the phone.

「Dad! Hold on to Onik! Don't let him go, no matter what! I'll do my best too!」

When he had first handed her editing work because she had studied digital media, she had grumbled and complained.

“I graduated more than ten years ago! I've forgotten everything I learned! And I only took the required video-production courses in the first place!”

These days, as youth unemployment became an ever more serious problem, more than half of newly employed university graduates in this country found work unrelated to their majors.

The hunter's daughter was no exception.

After spending more than ten years moving from one unrelated job to another, she had forgotten nearly everything she had learned at university about video production and editing.

It was not as though she had been an outstanding student to begin with.

The steadily improving editing on Onik and the hunter's channel showed exactly how hard his daughter was working.

The hunter was deeply pleased by that.

'My sons and daughter had all fallen into apathy, and I was worried sick, but at least my daughter is becoming productive. That little Onik really is a lucky charm in every way.'

In the aging hunter's eyes, young people these days lacked the will to try anything.

His own children were no exception.

He had two sons and a daughter, and all three were still not financially independent, constantly asking their parents for money.

His eldest son had even lost the entire housing deposit and gone into debt messing around with some damned coin thing.

'What can I do? I may not like the way they live, but they're still my precious children...'

That was why the Legal Hunter was obsessed with making money.

'If I leave them alone, it feels like these brats will never manage their own lives. As their father, I need to leave them a large inheritance so I can rest easy later.'

With three children, he had that much more money to earn.

His tentative goal was to become capable of giving each of them at least one billion won while still leaving himself ample retirement money.

Naturally, if he could earn more than that, he intended to.

The hunter's daughter thought highly of her father's idea to use YouTube content in place of a prototype introduction video.

「Oh, what brought this on? For one of Dad's ideas, it's actually really good. Go for it!」

“If it's good, just say it's good. Do you have to add ‘for one of Dad's ideas’? Dad's hurt.”

「Come on. Why are you getting hurt over that? Anyway, what exactly are you going to do?」

“Well... If we're going to put the head family's secret-recipe label on something, it'd be clear rice wine or fermented pastes. If we want to show the process too, doenjang or gochujang would probably be best.

“You get a visible result right there. We can let it ferment separately, and we can just use prepared meju powder.”

「Then film it first! I'll edit it well! There are lots of viewers who like listening to old folks talk, so make sure you get plenty of footage! Try to get scolded a lot again, too! You need to strengthen your hapless image!」

“All right, all right. This has real big money riding on it, you know? Let's do this right, okay?”

「Okay!」

That was how the video titled 「Onik's Head Family Traditional Gochujang!」 came to be uploaded to the 「Onik Uncle and the Hapless Chief」 channel.

Even in this video, where all the village grandmothers had turned out, Onik displayed a presence that contrasted with the hapless hunter.

Since the video focused on showing the process, it began with them setting a cauldron outside and chopping firewood.

Naturally, the wood chopping took the form of a contest.

The grandmothers, seated in a row on the wooden porch of Onik's house as they watched, cackled and berated the hunter.

“Cheol-sang, you little brat! Haven't you even had any gruel? How are you worse at swinging an axe than a child?”

“Your back's gone weak! Cheol-sang's wife must be terribly lonely at night!”

“Put some strength into it! You climb mountains and hunt boars all the time. You ought to be better than that!”

Objectively speaking, the hunter was not bad at chopping wood. He was actually quite good.

As always, though, Onik was abnormal.

As old Jo Jeong-ho had said, set the sun and moon side by side, and the moon would naturally feel ashamed.

The sight of the boy splitting logs with loud cracks without shedding a drop of sweat, easily handling the heavy Joseon axe with one hand, was more than enough to leave the city dwellers watching the broadcast in awe.

「Look at the tendons standing out on that kid's forearms. Is he really a first-year middle schooler? This is getting scary...」

「If I fought him, I'd be confident I'd cough up blood after one hit.」

「If I ran into him at night while he was holding an axe, I'd be confident I'd piss myself.」

「I'd be confident I'd shit myself without even running into him.」

「Then you're just someone who shits himself.」

The role of the head family's daughter-in-law was currently vacant in Onik's family. Onik's grandmother had died of a heart attack long ago.

That was why the village grandmothers took on the role of experts in making fermented pastes, having inherited the head family's secret methods.

“Grandmothers! The viewers are asking why you don't add corn syrup!”

“Corn syrup? Why would we add corn syrup when making gochujang?”

“Doesn't gochujang normally contain corn syrup? The viewers say all the gochujang sold in supermarkets has corn syrup in it! They say it's the ingredient used in the greatest amount!”

“We don't use corn syrup. We ferment malted barley and make jocheong syrup to add! If you substitute corn syrup, the flavor would suffer badly.

“And if it has more corn syrup than chili powder or glutinous rice, can you really call that gochujang? Without malted barley, it won't even bubble after you put it in a jar!”

“Gochujang bubbles?”

“It does! Bubbling away! You have to stir it diligently for half a year. That's how you get good paste! Though these days it's hot enough that a month and a half should do it.”

“Then Chief and I should do that! It would be hard for you grandmothers!”

What Onik and the hunter were doing could truly be called a model example of product storytelling.

They were adding a story to the product to distinguish it from others, creating special added value, and building an emotional connection with their viewers.

Of course, sales were not yet possible.

They had not filed a business notification for food manufacturing and processing, and the product had not undergone quality testing.

Still, if they had been able to sell it, they likely would have sold everything without much difficulty. Most viewers had reacted favorably.

That clear potential was also a great help in writing the business proposal.

Since the gochujang-making video had received a fairly good response, the hunter went on to make videos about preparing doenjang and brewing clear rice wine.

“Uncle, try this. An elder made it earlier, and it's really good!”

“No, Chief! I'm a middle school student! How can you give alcohol to a kid?!”

“It's fine, it's fine. Selling alcohol to minors is illegal, but making it and drinking it is legal! Besides, alcohol is something you're supposed to learn from an adult you know!”

“Still!”

“Just think of it as tasting it. I'll give you only a tiny bit, a tiny bit. Here!”

“Mmm... Ugh, it's bitter. This tastes good? Why do adults drink this?”

“Alcohol tastes bitter to you? I suppose Uncle went through too many hard things at such a young age.

“I had an easy life without hardship, so alcohol tastes like a sweet drink to me. Alcohol is the taste of life!”

“Is that so?”

“That's right! Hahaha!”

That was not all.

The hunter also made use of 「Let's Play with Onik!」, viewer-participation content.

「Let's Play with Onik!」 was, just as its name suggested, content where viewers were invited to spend one night and two days having fun together.

Its catchphrase was, “Onik Uncle and the Hapless Chief will take care of your weekend!”

As the catchphrase promised, once viewers arrived at the station in town, Onik and the Legal Hunter took responsibility for all subsequent transportation, meals, and lodging.

“Those of you who have nothing to do on weekends anyway! Those of you tired of the same old weekends!

“Or those of you completely exhausted by office life and in need of healing somewhere with good water and clean air!

“Or those of you who just want to eat something delicious and new for free!”

“Anyone can apply, so leave a comment in the community! If you've got a story, you get extra points!

“A story about how desperately you want to do absolutely nothing is fine too! Oh, and getting lots of upvotes will earn you extra points as well!”

When serving meals to the viewers they invited this way, the hunter included the alcohol that would eventually be released as a product.

Onik used the fermented pastes in his cooking, and they were also served at the table with various leafy greens.

“What do you all think? If we sold this, would you buy it?”

“Of course! It's delicious! Wow, the savory flavor is incredible!”

Those reactions, preserved on video, were used as material supporting the products' marketability.

At the same time, the hunter eagerly consulted people around him and filled the proposal with plausible, specific budget items.

A certain amount for outdoor fermentation facilities that could withstand abnormal weather, a certain amount for collaboration with local onggi pottery makers, a certain amount for trademark design, a certain amount for building a distribution network, and another amount for opening an online shopping mall...

The final touch of grandeur in the proposal was its plan to establish a vertically integrated distribution structure by creating its own franchise.

The idea was to secure competitiveness by cutting out intermediary distributors and lowering prices.

Simply put, it was the dream of actually creating something like Hapless Hunter Fried Chicken.

'So what? A man's dreams are supposed to be big. It's not like there have never been YouTubers who started their own franchises. Don't Onik and I have a chance?'

For the finishing touch, the hunter received unexpected help from an outsider through his business partner, Onik.

That outsider was Kim Pi-deuk, the older brother of the deceased Yo-han and a businessman.

「I heard about it from Onik. I understand you're planning to start a business with government support.」

“Ah, yes...”

「Then shall I draw up a nice-looking memorandum of understanding for you, one that will look good to the civil servants?」

“A memorandum of understanding?”

「It has no legal binding force, but it looks impressive, doesn't it? My trading company mainly imports and exports raw materials and manufactured goods, so it is somewhat removed from the domestic market...

Still, I doubt the civil servants will examine it that closely. They'll probably just look at the company's history and revenue.」

“I suppose that's true...”

「Then submit your supporting documents with a copy of an MOU in my company's name included. The odds of being selected should rise meaningfully. What do you think?」

“Oh, oh! I would be grateful if you could do that for us! Thank you! Thank you so much!”

「Haha. It's nothing. If things go well, I may even make a real investment. So do your best.」

“Of course! Just watch us! We'll make a success of it and show you!”

Onik truly was a lucky charm to the Legal Hunter in every way.

With this much effort, and with good fortune in the people around them, the hunter and Onik finally succeeded in being selected as priority recipients for the support project!

Even so, the bad adult was disappointed...

“One billion? Only one billion?! What am I supposed to do with this pittance? How do they expect to foster a local business with this?! Government, wake up! At this rate, all the people in the countryside will die, you bastards!”

The Legal Hunter had already assumed that two billion would naturally fall into his hands after all this effort.

When they said they would support only half that amount, his disappointment was considerable.

(It was better that he did not know the recipients of the two billion had been chosen long before the project even began.)

There was also a notice stating that, starting this year, funds would be disbursed in stages and oversight of budget use would be strengthened.

「If the project is altered and executed differently, if the allocated budget is used improperly, if additional subsidies are received for the same project, or if the project is poorly carried out, support may be suspended and already disbursed funds may be recovered.

Please be advised...」

Because of old Jo Jeong-ho's firm resolve, the hunter had given up on his plan to siphon off government money. Even so, he could not help feeling as though something had been unfairly taken from him.

The Legal Hunter, who prided himself on being exceptionally law-abiding, wept in his heart.

'Boohoo. This is so sad.'

No matter how sad he was, he could not give up here.

One billion won was objectively a small(?) amount of money, but it was also far too large an amount to abandon.

Besides, if he wanted to build his own brand and establish a franchise, the business had to proceed as planned.

For the support project Legal Hunter had secured through a subsidiary corporation jointly owned by him and Onik, they had to first raise capital equal to 20 percent of the total support budget on their own before further funds would be disbursed.

In other words, if they were to receive one billion won in public support, they had to prepare two hundred million won in initial capital themselves and prove their ability to carry out the project.

It was a condition intended to filter out brazen thieves who wanted to run a business solely on government money without spending a single won of their own.

The civil servants' work was not entirely sloppy.

But the Legal Hunter had no intention of spending his own money.

'Isn't a business supposed to be run with as little of my own money as possible?

'That way, even if it fails and the corporation goes bankrupt, I can protect my money. The money that gets lost should always be someone else's!'

That was why he had created a separate subsidiary corporation in the first place.

The bad adult had a plan.

That plan was to receive a “reasonable” loan from the local cooperative.

Whenever the local cooperative president's election was held, the president had distributed money and provided entertainment to key figures among major voting blocs.

There were supporters who had lent money that would escape the Election Commission's scrutiny and helped with the campaign. Among those supporters were the local hunters linked through the smuggling network.

Now it was the Legal Hunter's turn to ask the cooperative president for a favor.

The Legal Hunter and the cooperative president were not strangers.

'Hahaha! Friend discount, ultra-preferential interest rate, special collateral loan, okay, let's go!'

The collateral would be the newly established subsidiary corporation itself.

The province would be providing one billion won in stages anyway, so what was wrong with valuing the corporation's cash-equivalent assets at one billion won a little early?

The cooperative president would not be committing a breach of trust!

The fact that the subsidiary corporation was currently nothing but a name on a sign did not matter.

Its cash-equivalent assets would be one billion won, so he only intended to borrow a reasonable one billion won. The Legal Hunter had a conscience, after all!

The Legal Hunter prided himself on being without a speck of shame before heaven.

This was how business was done in this country.

Footnotes:

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