WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Alyo
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ Surviving Among the Anomalies ◈
Chapter 24: The Munchkin Mary Sue Constellation
──────
“Give me a pack of the usual.”
“Yes. That’ll be 4,500 won.”
After buying cigarettes at the convenience store, I went back up to the rooftop. Maybe it was a habit, but it felt like my mind worked better when I smoked.
“Phew.”
The broadcast had already ended. BJ Constellation had said he would return tomorrow evening at seven before disappearing.
‘He left me with an impossible problem too.’
As I put a cigarette between my lips, a thought suddenly came to mind.
‘Has my Physical Ability improved down to the genetic and cellular level? If it has, there shouldn’t be any DNA damage, and smoking shouldn’t raise my chances of getting cancer either.’
After dismissing the pointless thought, I sank into deeper contemplation.
‘The Munchkin Mary Sue Constellation.’
I recalled when I had first encountered it in my original world.
＊＊＊
Around the time I became seriously hooked on Surviving Among the Anomalies, or Anomaly Survivor for short, the game suddenly began to gain enormous popularity.
[Today’s challenge game is Surviving Among the Anomalies! Beat-it-in-one-sitting challenge!]
[Aaaah! What the hell is wrong with this game?! Everything ends in destruction!]
The game had nothing but a small banner ad and posts from devoted users saying, “Try it! It’s good, I’m telling you! Try it, try it!” Then, by chance, it appeared on the broadcast of a popular internet streamer. It went viral, and countless users flooded in.
[Wow! Anomalies! Wow! Destruction!]
[How many destruction endings does this have? Are there no happy endings?]
[Passed day 120 in Anomaly Survivor! New record!]
Naturally, the Anomaly Survivor Gallery, a community that introduced and adopted user-created Anomalies for the game, flourished. Countless users showed off their creativity.
[Whoa! SCP! The Foundation! Lobotomy Corporation!]
[They’ll add user-created Anomalies too! Sweet! I need to make one right away!]
Then, from some point on, posts that sounded increasingly young began to appear.
[Developer! What do you think of this Anomaly I made?]
[Developer! Please add my Anomaly to the game!]
At first, there was no real backlash. The Anomaly Survivor Gallery had been made for that purpose, and everyone, not just younger users, was posting their creations.
[A fruit that makes your body stretch. If you eat it, your body stretches like rubber.]
[A bag that produces anything. It is connected to the fourth dimension.]
[A door that can take you anywhere. Install it in midair, open it, and you can go anywhere.]
Before long, though, they began making Anomalies that blurred the line between parody and plagiarism.
[A ninja who embraced the darkness of darkness. Can control the power of darkness and fire dark matter from their eyes. Uses Dark Arts instead of ninjutsu because they have the power of darkness. Ultimate move: Summon a black hole the size of the sun.]
[The fastest monster in the world, with DNA made of tachyons. Can travel from one end of the universe to the other in one second. So fast that it goes back in time all the time. Its ultimate move is biting, and its mouth is so huge that it can swallow one hundred galaxies at once.]
Their settings became so excessive that they created Anomalies that could never be added to the game.
[The Anomaly I made is immune to all physical attacks and magic, so it can’t die.]
└[Yeah, but my Anomaly can cut souls, so yours goes down in one hit. Too bad.]
└[It still has 99 trillion, 999.9 billion, and 9.999 billion souls, so it won’t die.]
└[Yeah, I can destroy 99,999,999 trillion souls at once.]
└[It can still revive a million times in 0.000000000001 seconds.]
└[Yeah, I can swing my sword 999,999,999,999,999,999 quadrillion times per second, so I’ll keep killing you.]
Eventually, they began identifying themselves with their Anomalies and sought ever more overpowered creations, hoping their own creations would never be destroyed by someone else’s.
[The brats are having fun, huh? Munchkins, Mary Sues, they’re just doing whatever they want lol.]
[Ugh, the Gallery can’t even have a proper discussion because of all these brat posts. What is this? Kids should just leave.]
Up to that point, it was fine. The community had simply become more active. Then something happened that could not be ignored. One young user apparently stole their parents’ card and made a monetary donation to Anomaly Survivor.
[Developer! I donated 10 million won! Please add my Anomaly to the game!]
[Anomaly Name: The Strongest Man in the World / Ability: He is really the strongest in the world. His weakness is mint chocolate, and he dies if he eats it. But he is immune to all other attacks, and if he throws a serious punch, he destroys one trillion dimensions at once.]
I did not know exactly how it was resolved. A few days later, though, the Gallery required adult verification to enter. Several moderators were appointed, and a downvote function was added. User-created Anomaly posts with too many downvotes were deleted.
‘Still, after that incident, making Munchkin Mary Sue-type Anomalies became popular for a while.’
People eager to tease the developer worked together to create nothing but Munchkin Mary Sue Anomalies. Provoked by this, the developer created an Anomaly.
‘That was the Munchkin Mary Sue Constellation.’
I thought it was a rather amusing response. Its appearance rate did not interfere with the game at all. If it appeared, players could brag about it to other users, and its unavoidable game-over ending suited the name Munchkin Mary Sue Constellation perfectly.
[The Munchkin Mary Sue Constellation spawned, fuck!!!! I was about to go buy a lottery ticket today!!!!]
└[Congrats on winning the lottery jackpot!]
└[You used all your lottery luck on this lol.]
“That’s how it was.”
I lit another cigarette.
“But now that it’s real, I can’t see any way to deal with this.”
I recalled the Munchkin Mary Sue Constellation’s wiki entry.
[Anomaly Name: Munchkin Mary Sue Constellation]
[Grade: Destruction]
[A selfish life-form that descended from a higher dimension into ours. It possesses limitless power and calls the human it chooses its Avatar, passing its power on to them. At first, the Avatar’s power only reaches the level of a superhuman, but over time they adapt to that power and eventually can use all of the Constellation’s power.]
[Five turns after it appears, Earth is destroyed.]
‘Come to think of it, it’s the first Destruction Grade Anomaly to appear.’
How could I stop this?
‘Through another Constellation?’
There were other Constellation Anomalies besides the Munchkin Mary Sue Constellation. They were all Danger Grade or Destruction Grade and impossible to control, so that was out of the question.
‘In the first place, I can’t visit or even find a Constellation Anomaly. It was a pointless thought.’
Could I use another Anomaly to destroy it?
‘It was impossible in the game, but maybe reality is different.’
The problem was where the Constellation’s true body was and whether I could even attack it.
“There’s nothing I know for sure.”
I burned through the entire pack. The only hopeful thing was that the game and reality were different.
‘From what I’ve heard, it seems like it appeared quite a while ago. Five days must have passed already. But the world hasn’t been destroyed.’
Maybe, just maybe.
“Could it just let the world go without destroying it?”
After finishing all my cigarettes, I returned to my room. The Otherworld Transfer Book, which I had clearly put inside my bag, lay open on my desk.
[We appoint you as an apostle who works for those transferring to other worlds.]
[Perk for apostles! If you transfer to another world now, you have a 100% chance of winning a soft, squishy, happy-happy otherworld!]
[You will receive a massive number of cheat-level overpowered abilities!]
[In return, you solemnly swear to continue recruiting transferees in the other world and strive to increase their survival rate. [Sign] <- Please press any finger gently for three seconds or longer.]
Carefully, I closed the book.
“I appreciate the thought, but I’ll decline.”
Even if destruction awaited at the end.
“Even if the world ends tomorrow, I’ll plant an apple tree today.”
Because that was what humans did.
＊＊＊
[Do you know anything about Constellations?]
The Art of War said that if you knew the enemy and knew yourself, you would face no danger in a hundred battles.
[Constellations? It’s my first time hearing about them. What are they?]
Shingu Hoerang did not know about Constellations.
[Are there any fun Constellation stories these days?]
[Constellation fiction is past its prime.]
[I want to read some well-written Constellation fiction.]
On the internet, they were known only as a web-novel genre convention.
“That’s why you came to see me.”
“Yes.”
The woman seated across from me nodded. Six arms moved in elegant arcs as they carried a teacup.
“Constellations? There’s no reason I can’t tell you.”
The Mysterious Merchant had changed from an oddity of indeterminate gender into something that was roughly seventy percent monster and thirty percent woman.
“They are beings who reign over the highest dimension. They are far removed from death and can exercise power close to omnipotence in the dimension where you live.”
“They are not omniscient.”
“Omniscience is a blessing granted to only a very few. Constellations do not belong among them.”
Fortunately, the Mysterious Merchant knew about Constellations. It did not seem to be particularly rare information either, since she readily divulged what she knew.
“If I use Anomalies from the dimension where I live, can I destroy or drive out a Constellation?”
“That is impossible. Regardless of their strength, Constellations cannot be interfered with by beings of lower dimensions. If anything could be affected, it would be the Constellation’s Avatar, though even that would not be easy.”
“So it is possible to interfere with the Avatar.”
“Yes, but only with certain special Anomalies. For example, Anomalies created by beings that exist in the same dimension as a Constellation, or by beings for whom the concept of dimensions is meaningless.”
A few things came to mind, but I could neither acquire nor use them in my current state.
“Thank you for telling me. Then, could I purchase an Anomaly capable of affecting the Avatar with this?”
I held out the Dream Orb containing my first artwork. She stared at it, then shook her head.
“I do not deal in pornography.”
“It’s art.”
“It is pornography.”
“It’s art.”
“It is pornography.”
“It’s art.”
“Please leave.”
She handed me an invitation and threw me out. It was not the ornate invitation from last time, but the plain one I had received at the beginning.
‘I learned something.’
I wrote down the knowledge I had gained in Notebook in My Head.
[Knowledge for dealing with the Munchkin Mary Sue Constellation 1. The Constellation, and even its Avatar, are omnipotent and cannot be affected. However, if Anomalies related to beings equal to a Constellation or beings for whom the concept of dimensions is meaningless are used, it is possible to affect the Avatar.]
‘What Anomalies related to that are there?’
[Alert! BJ Constellation’s broadcast has started!]
At that moment, the Avatar’s broadcast began.
[Hello, everyone! Did you sleep well last night? I thought long and hard about what kind of content I should make, and what I could do to show all of you our Constellation’s greatness!]
The background was dark. Nothing could be seen around the Avatar. The screen contained only darkness and the Avatar, making it impossible to tell where he was.
[You’re probably starting to wonder where I am. Where do you think this is? Whoever guesses will receive the autograph of the future most famous and greatest person: me!]
The chat flooded in, but the Avatar kept shaking his head.
[Ha! You all have no creativity! The answer’s right there! There’s only me in sight, and everything around me is black! Since nobody got it, I’ll reveal it!]
The camera turned.
[Ta-da!]
A gigantic burning celestial body was there.
[What was this called again? It’s a supernova, and apparently if this thing explodes, it could destroy Earth later! Through a gamma-ray burst or something!]
The celestial body, swollen as if it could explode at any moment, was not round. It looked like an ugly potato. There was nothing nearby to compare it against, so judging its size was meaningless, but if it really was a supernova, it was larger than the sun.
[Our Constellation told me that, so it must be right! Anyway! Today’s content is destroying this, and doing a good deed while I’m at it!]
The chat grew chaotic again. Was what the Avatar just said true? Would the planet on screen really destroy Earth if it exploded? Was the Avatar not a Constellation, but God?
[All right, then!]
One thing was certain. The celestial body in front of the Avatar disappeared.
[Done!]
With only a single clap.
As if there had been nothing there from the beginning, without even leaving a trace behind.
[Ah, that content ended way too quickly.]
The Avatar smiled awkwardly.
[Guys! Ladies! That was a little boring, right? Should we go erase another supernova? I’ll erase this one more spectacularly!]
Footnotes:
Join our discord at https://dsc.gg/wetried
