Surviving Among the Anomalies - Chapter 38

WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: Alyo

◈ Surviving Among the Anomalies ◈

Chapter 38: The World Beyond the Right Eye - A World Where Everyone Is Rational and Smart, Humanity’s Destruction

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Yoo Seong-yeol (20), who lived in Chungju, was in a bad mood again today.

[Dashcam Footage of Today’s Traffic Accident.avi]

└[Ha, trying to get there ten seconds faster and causing that much trouble.]

└[People like that should all go out and die.]

After graduating high school, he decided not to go to university, which left him with plenty of time. Until recently, he had worked part-time, but he quit that too because he was scheduled to enlist next January. Now, he just stayed home.

[Today’s Number of Casualties in a U.S. Mass Shooting]

└[Are Americans all idiots? If they didn’t sell guns, there wouldn’t be mass shootings.]

└[Seriously, that country is crazy about lobbying. They can’t get rid of guns because of the gun association lobby.]

In short, he was unemployed. Put kindly, he was a temporary home security guard or a full-time child.

[Disgusting Flirting by an Old Coot on the Subway]

└[Does someone that old really want to act like that?]

└[Please just die quietly once you get old.]

His daily routine consisted of waking up late in the morning, picking at the meal his mother prepared, then spending the entire day on the computer. He had grown bored of games long ago and had long since changed classes into a ghost wandering online communities every day.

[The Current State of Global Warming.jpg]

└[This will never be solved. Humans are too selfish. How could this ever get fixed?]

└[Yeah, I’m going to blast the air conditioner, drive cars, fly on planes, and travel abroad. Global warming? Who cares, lol. It’s future generations who’ll be fucked, not me, right?]

At first, he laughed at funny posts. But as he visited more communities and stayed up later, posts other than the funny ones began to linger in his mind.

[China and India rank first and second in water pollution and air pollutant emissions. They emit more than every other country combined.]

[Why does China keep meddling in North-South Korean issues? It’s so sad that we’re a weak country.]

[A 15-billion-won jeonse fraudster sentenced to seven years. Victim says, “A republic of fraud.”]

The irrationality of the world.

[Today’s Japanese Subway Accident.jpg]

[The culprit behind the Garosu-gil stabbing tragedy was mentally ill. Can’t we just lock all mentally ill people in hospitals?]

[Four pedestrians killed after a car suddenly accelerated onto the sidewalk. Driver claims unintended acceleration.]

Misfortune that came out of nowhere, no matter how careful you were.

[Pedestrian killed by a brick thrown from an apartment rooftop. Perpetrator cannot be punished because they are below the age of criminal responsibility.]

[Gangnam drug doctor receives suspended sentence.]

A world where all kinds of criminals ran rampant.

[Man in his forties jumps into the sea while drunk, found drowned the next day.]

[Angler falls to death while fishing on tetrapods.]

Even people who did stupid things and stupidly lost their lives.

‘Why is the world so fucking stupid?’

Seong-yeol, who had always been cynical, felt disillusioned with the world.

‘It’s full of irrational and stupid things.’

Drunk driving, mass shootings, environmental pollution, wars between countries, hunger in Africa, criminals living out their natural lifespans while good people died tragic deaths.

‘Everything is fucking stupid.’

Today, as he recharged his hatred for the world through online communities, Seong-yeol watched the stall in his mother’s place.

‘Used goods? Why would anyone buy this stuff?’

Buying something someone else had used, possibly with germs or mites hidden inside, was something only idiots would do.

‘That is...’

Then something caught Seong-yeol’s eye. It was a monkey’s paw with only one middle finger remaining, sitting on the stall.

‘A souvenir Dad bought on a business trip.’

His father had bought it while on a business trip to Africa, paying as much as a hundred thousand won because it was supposedly a lucky charm. His mother disliked it, so it seemed to have ended up here.

‘Tsk. Why did Dad spend money on crap like that?’

This was why the 586 Generation was hopeless. They had enjoyed every privilege and found employment easily, then went on about credentials and qualifications to his generation while believing every superstition under the sun.

‘My dad is just another 586 after all.’

As expected, the monkey’s paw remained unsold until evening.

“Ugh, this is the only thing that didn’t sell. It’s such an eyesore. I need to get rid of it quickly.”

Looking creeped out, his mother tossed the monkey’s paw into a drawer. She wanted to throw it away, but since it had cost a hundred thousand won, she had no choice but to wait for the next bazaar.

“Mom, give me food.”

The next day, Seong-yeol woke up scratching his stomach.

‘Ah, Mom said she was going hiking with Dad, didn’t she?’

While eating breakfast, Seong-yeol suddenly remembered the monkey’s paw he had seen yesterday.

‘Could it be that monkey’s paw? The one that grants wishes?’

He rummaged through the drawer and took it out.

‘They say a monkey’s paw twists people’s wishes when it grants them.’

Come on, there was no way it was real. He did not truly believe it was real, but there was no harm in making a wish for fun.

‘Make me rich? Make me handsome? No, not a one-dimensional wish like that.’

An unemployed life was boredom itself, so Seong-yeol gave it serious thought before answering.

“Make everyone rational and smart.”

His wish was granted 『exactly as he said it』.

＊＊＊

It began with simple indulgences.

“Alcohol? What’s the point of drinking? It only ruins your body. It’s not rational.”

“Cigarettes? Why smoke to relieve stress? Nicotine and tar rot your body. It’s not rational.”

“Sugar? Why eat it? Are you going to overwork your pancreas and get diabetes for a moment of pleasure? It’s not rational.”

No one wanted alcohol, cigarettes, or sugar anymore.

“Wingsuits? I’m not doing that. Risking your life for a brief hit of dopamine isn’t rational.”

“Rock climbing? Are you crazy? If you slip, you die immediately. I’m not doing it.”

“Ha! Skydiving? The height of irrationality! Only idiots do something like that!”

No one did extreme sports anymore.

“Fishing? You’re going to spend money and waste time just to enjoy the feel of a fish biting?”

“Bicycles? They’re slower than cars, and you’re more likely to die in an accident. What’s the point?”

“Hiking? What if you fall while climbing? What if it suddenly rains and you get stranded? Why would you do that?”

Even light hobbies disappeared.

“Fried food is bad for you. You’re going to wear out the body you need for the rest of your life just to enjoy one meal? That’s stupid and irrational.”

“Gukbap? Get lost, you lump of carbohydrates! Only people with noodles for brains eat that!”

“Ramen? Please get that disgusting food away from me!”

“Pizza!? Are you suicidal!? Or is your IQ lower than a dolphin’s!?”

Many foods were thoroughly shunned as well.

“I’m not riding in cars. I don’t want to die or suffer serious injuries in an accident just to be comfortable for a little while.”

With no one using vehicles, every task became painfully slow. Ordering a delivery now meant waiting half a year.

“Ha! The carbon dioxide produced by mass production accelerates global warming! Is there anything more stupid than this? Stop!”

When mass production came to a halt, that wait stretched to a full year. They could no longer produce grain feed, so the mass production of livestock stopped as well. Prosperous modern society became a thing of the past.

“One meal block, please.”

Instead, the government stepped in and made meals suited to rational and intelligent people.

“This is nice. It doesn’t taste good, but it’s a truly rational and smart meal!”

The block-shaped food contained all the carbohydrates, protein, and fat needed for a day. It tasted terrible, but no one complained.

“It’s not like you’ll die because it tastes bad. Is there any need to improve the flavor? That would be a waste of time and irrational.”

Humanity’s rational and intelligent thinking continued to advance.

“I have hair loss. I cannot pass genes like these on to future generations. Please castrate me.”

People with genetic disorders requested the removal of their reproductive functions, and the government complied.

“Leaving descendants when you have a genetic disorder is unfair to them, and it isn’t rational from an anthropological perspective.”

“That’s right. Passing bad genes on to your descendants for your own sexual desires? It’s an extremely selfish and stupid thing to do. Those genes need to be erased from the world.”

Next were people with mental illnesses.

“Mental illnesses have a high recurrence rate and cost a great deal to manage socially, so let’s just euthanize them.”

“That’s rational and good. People with mental illnesses can’t even be part of the productive population, can they?”

Everyone with a mental illness was euthanized.

“Aren’t you too short?”

“Your face is rather ugly too.”

“Your eyesight isn’t good, is it?”

“Yes, let’s all eliminate our reproductive functions.”

Even people with slight physical shortcomings removed their reproductive functions themselves.

“This is rational. Passing an unpleasant life on to your children is selfish and irrational.”

“Even if it is only a possibility, as long as there is a probability, it can happen at any time.”

It was the completion of a society where everyone was rational and smart, but everyone was poor, slow, and bored.

[I wish everyone were rational and smart.]

But the wish made upon The One Remaining Monkey’s Paw had not ended yet.

The One Remaining Monkey’s Paw, which could be wished upon only once, granted wishes with near-omnipotent power.

[I wish 『all people』 were rational and smart.]

The One Remaining Monkey’s Paw granted Seong-yeol’s wish exactly as it was.

Even if it had to cross time and space.

“∴∇∬≫⊃!”

“℉㏄㎚㎕￠!”

Those regarded as people from other dimensions became rational and smart. Their lives became little different from those of people on Earth.

“Today is finally the day of action!”

Soon, it crossed time as well. Because humans of the future were all rational and smart, The One Remaining Monkey’s Paw’s power turned toward the past.

“We will finally strike against those Japanese bastards...”

“Wait. Let’s call off the operation. Will the Japanese Empire really grant Joseon independence just because individuals make an effort? Don’t throw away your lives for nothing. Let’s be smart and rational. Let’s just live ordinary lives like everyone else.”

It passed through the Japanese colonial period.

“King Seonjo has fled!”

“If the king has fled, why should we fight? Let’s surrender.”

“Yes, that’s rational. Let’s not stupidly keep fighting and throw away our lives.”

It passed through Joseon.

“A plague is spreading.”

“Kill everyone in that village. If the plague spreads because of sentimentality, the losses will be too great. Treatment? Killing them all is faster and more rational, so why bother?”

Then it continued reaching further into humanity’s past.

“Airplanes? Why make something like that? You can just walk, can’t you? Waste time and effort on something like that? It’s the stupidest and most irrational thing in the world. I won’t do it.”

“Blue mold? Ugh, disgusting. What if I get sick because of mold for no reason? I’m not doing it. Someone else will do it even if I don’t.”

“First aid? Why make something like that? Shouldn’t you just be careful before you get hurt? Only stupid people get injured.”

Humanity’s progress disappeared.

“Mathematics? What’s the point? Even if daily life becomes a little inconvenient, it’s not a major problem. Wasting time on mathematics isn’t rational.”

“Science? Ha! You want me to research chemical substances? They’re bad for your health! I won’t do it!”

“Honor and glory don’t put food on the table, so why bother?”

Scholarship disappeared.

“...”

After continuing to go back and back...

“Ooh!”

It reached the era seventy thousand years ago, when the volcano on Toba Island erupted catastrophically.

“Oooh!”

The ancestors of modern humans looked up at the sky. Volcanic ash covered the entire Earth after the massive eruption, and an ice age lasting over a hundred years arrived.

“Ooh?”

Only around fifty thousand humans remained.

The ancestors of modern humans, who should have desperately struggled and fought to survive, suddenly stopped.

“...Ooh!”

The One Remaining Monkey’s Paw, which was nearly omnipotent, poured knowledge into them so they could become rational and smart.

“Ooh.”

Knowledge that their numbers had dwindled to only fifty thousand.

Knowledge that far more humans were needed for genetic diversity.

Knowledge that a lack of genetic diversity would inevitably result in various genetic disorders.

All the knowledge necessary to understand this was engraved into their minds, along with 『rational』 thinking.

“Oooh!”

The ancestors of modern humans cried out.

“Ooooooh!”

We will not pass genetic disorders on to our descendants. That would be too cruel, something we must never do to them! How painful and difficult would the lives of descendants carrying genetic disorders be!

“Oooh!”

We will make the rational and intelligent choice!

Every surviving ancestor of modern humans jumped off a cliff.

It was humanity’s extinction.

＊＊＊

‘It truly is The One Remaining Monkey’s Paw.’

A monkey’s paw that granted wishes without twisting them.

It even interpreted vague wishes according to 『the level imagined by the person making the wish』.

“How much is this?”

“Huh? Uh, one hundred thousand won?”

Two fifty-thousand-won bills were taken from a wallet.

“No, two! Two hundred thousand won!”