WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: Alyo

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

◈ Surviving Among the Anomalies ◈

Chapter 59: Karma Call Center

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『Then I will begin hacking.』

My smartphone’s battery began dropping rapidly.

[70%]

It had been at 96% just moments ago, but 26% had vanished at once.

‘Maintaining Sarang-i’s AI consumes a lot of power, but using its functions drains it even faster.’

Once the hacking began, information about the Anomaly appeared on the smartphone screen.

[WK Custom Permanent Power Device - Avici]

[Thank you very much for purchasing our product! This product includes the features you requested: permanently punishing sinners, using them as fuel to power the train, and an automatic operation system that tracks down sinners to be punished and moves the train accordingly!]

The information that appeared was the manual included with the purchase.

[Sinner Punishment Function: An eternal Kalpa Fire has been installed inside. The flames, directly imported from Avici Hell, thoroughly burn the sinner’s body and soul while simultaneously regenerating both, allowing them to recover quickly. This enables the sinner to suffer forever.]

[Fuel Supply Through Sinners: Collects the screams of sinners and converts pain energy into thermal energy, which is remotely supplied to the train. Energy generation formula: Decibels of screams (objective intensity of pain ∑ size of soul)]

[Sinner Tracking and Automatic Operation System: An AI installed in transdimensional space operates the train automatically. It tracks sinners matching the set conditions and summons only those sinners into the train. If no conditions are set, random individuals will be brought aboard, so please take note.]

[Automatic Restoration Function: Includes a function that automatically restores the device if it is destroyed. This applies not only to the furnace, but also to the train physically connected to it.]

[Destruction Prevention Function: Includes a feature that prevents damage from energy below 2.092×10^17J.]

[Sinner Restoration Function: Did you accidentally mistake a good person for a sinner and put them inside? Did you already put them in and have no way of taking them out? In that case, use the Sinner Restoration Function. Upon use, the target’s body will be perfectly restored, all memories from inside the train will be erased, and they will be returned to where they first boarded the train. (Warning! This function operates using energy generated by the furnace and consumes pain energy when activated. If energy is insufficient, the furnace will dismantle itself to make up the difference, so please take note.)]

“That’s a pretty detailed manual.”

It also explained what technology had been used and the device’s history, but none of it mattered, so I skipped past it.

『Hacking complete. I will halt the fuel supply and stop the train’s operation.』

“Sarang-i, wait a moment. I want to use the Sinner Restoration Function first.”

『Understood. I will use the Sinner Restoration Function.』

Along with Sarang-i’s voice, the screams inside the furnace began to fade.

‘People are disappearing.’

As I watched, the suffering people inside vanished one by one. They did not turn to dust like the pig-headed judge, The Greedy One. Their bodies regenerated in a bright light before they disappeared.

‘That’s a relief.’

The relief and peace on their faces made it clear that the device was working properly.

“Damn.”

The furnace began rattling and gradually shrinking, apparently because it lacked energy.

‘Please, there aren’t many left.’

The last person vanished from the furnace. It had shrunk to half its former size, but I had succeeded in getting everyone out.

“That’s a relief.”

『But it is not a relief for you.』

“!?”

I turned at the sudden voice and found the conductor glaring at me.

『You have committed a sin.』

The conductor’s eyes could not be seen beneath the black shadow covering their head, but it felt as though the conductor was glaring at me.

『To allow sinners to escape is the greatest of sins, a grave sin that could never be repaid even after a cycle of the universe had passed through eternal ages.』

“You came back quickly. I don’t think even twenty minutes have passed.”

『There is only one way to resolve this. I will tear your soul and body into several hundred quintillion pieces and use every fragment as fuel. Even then, as long as time exists, your sin will never end.』

What was I supposed to do? There was nothing left.

‘Running away will be difficult.’

I still was not in good condition. Still, I had to try.

『Will you struggle? Good. Struggle. Either way, you will taste the ugliest death and pain forever.』

“No matter how it ends, I should at least try.”

『Do you regret it? You probably do. Foolish insects always regret their actions.』

“Regret means that, if you went back to the past, you would not make the same choice you made now.”

I put a cigarette between my lips.

“In that sense, I have no regrets.”

『Empty bluster.』

“Because even if I went back, I’d choose the same path.”

『Even if your death has no meaning?』

“What do you mean, no meaning? I saved people who were suffering.”

『That place will be filled again. I will put in more sinners than before, and this time, you will be among them.』

“Even so, the people I saved won’t disappear.”

This might be the last cigarette of my life.

『An insect is acting rashly.』

“If that’s how you feel, it can’t be helped.”

Just as I tensed my legs to escape the engine room,

[Call connected.]

- Yes, this is King Chogang, managing director of the Karma Call Center.

I answered the call.

＊＊＊

“Excuse me, I need to take this.”

『……What did you say?』

“Yes, I picked up.”

- Yes, you called the Karma Call Center, correct? Our records show you called from a dedicated phone. Is that right?

“Yes, that’s right.”

I stayed on guard as I spoke on the phone. Still, something felt strange.

- Um, first of all, thank you for using the Karma Call Center. Please be advised that this service checks your karma and informs you where you will go after death and what judgment you will receive. Normally, you would need to wait forty-nine days to prepare authorization for delegated use of the Karmic Mirror, but since you called from a dedicated phone, that process has been omitted.

“Is that so? It’s nice that things are handled so quickly.”

I had planned to keep talking while fleeing in case the conductor attacked, but the conductor was simply standing there.

『……』

- We’ve been very busy lately. If a process isn’t absolutely necessary, we skip it.

The conductor seemed to be listening intently to the woman’s voice on the other end.

- Then we’ll proceed with verbal consent only. Do you authorize delegated use of the Karmic Mirror?

“Yes, I authorize it.”

- Good. Then I’ll check your karma right away. Your name is Lee Seung-hoon, age twenty-five, South Korea, um, and your karma is...

The woman with the clear voice, who had introduced herself as King Chogang, began listing my karma one item at a time.

- You have a little bad karma. There’s some karma related to violence. And hmm, you did a bit too much exploring in matters of sex during adolescence, didn’t you?

“I had a strong curiosity about sex at that age.”

- This is covered by adolescent safety measures, so it isn’t bad karma. But if you try it again now that you’re an adult, it’ll count as bad karma, so please be careful in the future. All right? Even if there isn’t a victim, that level of promiscuous curiosity is a bit much.

“Yes, I understand.”

- Next, ah, I need to check a new ordinance for this. One moment.

I heard her busily rummaging through her desk.

- Found it! According to the Ordinance on Disputes in Cyberspace and New Forms of Bad Karma, crimes committed through verbal acts against others in cyberspace are to be called Finger Karma instead of Speech Karma.

“When I think of hell, I imagine something old-fashioned, but it’s very modern.”

- Times have changed, and humans have changed, so we need to change too. Anyway, Finger Karma focuses on the following four points.

She explained the new laws of the changed world.

- First, anyone who intentionally shows disgusting images to an unspecified number of people three or more times receives 100 bad karma points.

- Second, anyone who intentionally shows writing depicting disgusting expressions to an unspecified number of people three or more times receives 100 bad karma points.

- Third, anyone who uses arguments with an unspecified number of people as an excuse to mock or harass them receives 50 bad karma points.

- Fourth, anyone who deliberately manipulates another person’s personal information or fabricates false stories to put them in trouble or torment them receives 100 bad karma points.

I found it fascinating that they had established entirely new clauses about online communities.

- The higher your bad karma points, the deeper the hell you fall into and the longer you remain there. These days, people commit plenty of bad karma in real life, but the bad karma they commit online is no joke either. A lot of people fall into deep hell because they fail to manage that side of things. Anyway, including these four and fifty-six other offenses, Lee Seung-hoon’s bad karma log is... hmm, this scroll is incredibly long. You’ve committed quite a lot, haven’t you?

“I don’t understand. I have never committed a crime in an online community.”

- We’ll see about that. This log is... way too long. I’ll just look at the bad karma points first.

Her startled voice rang loudly through the receiver.

- Huh!? Your bad karma points are zero!? That can’t be right!?

“See? I told you. I’ve never committed a crime in an online community.”

- That’s impossible! Even from the brief skim I made, there were hundreds of entries for ‘writing malicious community posts’! Wait, huh? This is...

She sounded startled, as if she had found something.

- It’s only been five days since you contacted us!? But the fact that you’ve already been connected means you must have accumulated an enormous amount of good karma!

“Does accumulating good karma let you connect to the call center faster?”

- Of course! Why would we rush to tell people full of bad karma about their karma? It’s better to contact people with lots of good karma quickly and let them live with peace of mind.

“That’s pretty reasonable.”

- Making people with a lot of bad karma wait anxiously for their call to connect is a punishment too. Of course, it isn’t an actual punishment, so it doesn’t count toward paying for their sins.

The conductor slowly, very slowly, stepped backward. It was as though the conductor did not want anyone to notice them moving.

- Now! Let’s see how you accumulated so much good karma...

“Is something wrong?”

- Huh? Uh? Your most recently accumulated good karma points are 26.72 million!? What on earth was it for!?

I heard the sound of her scrolling down with the mouse wheel.

- Saving sentient beings suffering in hell despite being innocent, ten thousand points per case, saving 2,672 people? Um, Mr. Lee Seung-hoon? Have you visited hell recently?

“Not actual hell. I suppose it’s a Temporary Hell? I’m in a hell shaped like a train right now. People were burning in its furnace, so I saved all of them.”

- A train? A Temporary Hell? You’re there right now?

“Yes.”

The conductor, who had been edging away, stopped walking. The conductor looked like someone who had realized their fate and given up.

- Is there, by any chance, a conductor with a blackened face there?

“They’re right in front of me.”

- Could you put them on? Please.

I walked up to the conductor and handed over the phone.

“She says to take it.”

『……』

When the conductor accepted the phone, the woman’s voice on the other end turned icy.

- Excuse me, Affliction Demon? We appreciate your cooperation with our request for a division of duties, but according to a report we just received, you created even more work instead?

『I!』

- Quiet.

Her voice radiated a coldness like a blade digging into the heart.

- We may have formed a cooperative working relationship, but when it comes to judgment, you are clearly a subcontractor. So is it acceptable or not to arbitrarily detain and judge good people like this?

『But!』

- We asked you to conduct summary trials for humans guilty of minor offenses and reincarnate them quickly. But reincarnation, my ass. You threw every innocent sentient being into a burning furnace?

『Still!』

- Are you going to start calling humans insects and such again? We know that humans were viewed that way in the Desire Realm. But that was a very long time ago. How long ago do you think that was? Most others from the Desire Realm adapted just fine, but are you still living with that outdated mindset?

『Listen to me!』

- Excuse me, Temporary Judge.

Hmm.

- Should I report this directly to the Heavenly King of Freely Enjoying Others’ Emanations? Tell them that the personnel dispatched from their side smeared shit all over the Desire Realm’s name? That you did your job however you pleased and completely fucked it up? Should I go ask why the Desire Realm has so little talent these days? Wow, I’m sure the Heavenly King of Freely Enjoying Others’ Emanations will love that.

Was this what working life was like?

『Anything but that!』

- Ah, sorry. I already contacted them.

『What!?』

- As soon as I saw Lee Seung-hoon’s good karma log, I knew that was the only place this could have happened, so I called the Desire Realm hotline right away.

It looked pretty entertaining. I wanted to experience it myself someday.

- You’ll be contacted within ten minutes. Wait there.

Once I got out of here, should I start looking for a job?

Footnotes:

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