WeTried Translations
Translator: Coughing Baby
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◈ The Inept Mage’s Infinite Regression
Chapter 33
“Dinner, tonight. Sound good, Ethan?”
Arca Wiz Charasen, Ethan’s older half-sister, hadn’t arrived until a full week after the semester had begun. She’d traveled by carriage along the overland route, but with the Muhati Kingdom barring entry to outsiders, she’d had to take a huge detour. Ethan hadn’t been especially worried, though. He’d already known from her letters that she would be late.
Back to the matter at hand, though… whenever Ethan dined with Arca, he always felt as if the meal might give him indigestion.
“I’m busy preparing for Basic Magic Exercises, so I’m not sure if I’ll have the time…”
“If you have questions about Basic Magic Exercises, nobody knows more than your sister. You can just ask while we eat.”
That was true enough. Boen had mentioned that Arca had passed every test, but that wasn’t the whole story. Actually, she had passed each test in a magically distinct way, a feat so rare that history recorded only a handful of Yurmus Magic Academy students who had ever accomplished it.
“…Fine. I’ll make some time.”
Ethan took the carriage Arca had sent and rode into downtown Yurmus. Because of the magic academy’s proximity, there were a few upscale restaurants that catered to nobles. One of them was The Falling Cuckoo, which Ethan had eaten at a few times before. Their menu featured mainly lamb from local shepherds near Yurmus and, occasionally, venison hunted in the Yurmus Forest. Ethan still wasn’t sure why they never served any actual cuckoo or bird dishes, despite the restaurant’s name.
Arca heard that venison was in season and promptly ordered it without bothering to ask Ethan’s preference. For starters, they had the typical local fare: bread and mushroom soup.
While Ethan and Arca ate, Arca talked about the people she’d met and the sights she’d seen during her long carriage trip. Then they moved on to spaghetti loaded with goat cheese, and the conversation turned to updates on various members of House Charasen. The food was excellent, and the atmosphere was pleasant. But just as the roasted venison hindquarter arrived at their table, Arca abruptly asked, “So, do you think you’ll pass Basic Magic Exercises?”
By then, Ethan had sensed danger looming and politely set down his water cup, dabbing at his mouth with a napkin.
“I can do it.”
“By my calculations, I figure you’ll struggle to get even one point. With enough effort, maybe three.”
“You mean Lifting and Destruction, right?”
“Exactly. Unlike Basic Magic Practice, where you relied on the magnanimity of Professor Rivielton—his chest muscles are as broad as his generosity, after all—Basic Magic Exercises is designed so you cannot pass it with body magic alone.”
“I wasn’t just lazing around over the break, Sister.”
“Oh?” Arca asked, leaning forward and resting her chin on one hand, a skeptical look on her face.
“Yes.”
“So what are you able to do now?”
Ethan avoided Arca’s gaze. As close as he was to Boen, Arca was even dearer to him, yet sharing the truth about dark magic was another matter entirely. The fact they were family made it harder for Ethan to confide in her, not easier.
Still, he needed an excuse, so he bluffed, “I studied alchemy.”
“…Really? I don’t recall any of the students who stayed over the break being well-versed in alchemy. Did you study under a professor?”
“I studied on my own.”
“Alchemy can be pretty different from standard magic. Although some forms don’t use mana at all, that only makes alchemists more secretive about their knowledge. Alchemical methods don’t exactly get revealed left and right. If three months of self-study was all it took to pass Basic Magic Exercises, the academy’s enrollment would quadruple overnight. Every heir of a wealthy family with zero talent would try to enroll, desperate to graduate.”
Ethan felt sweat forming on his back. He should’ve seen this coming; Arca never let anything slide without scrutiny. He glanced toward the kitchen, hoping the next course might distract her, but there was no sign of the staff returning anytime soon.
With no other choice, he decided on a direct confrontation.
“Well, I had no idea I had such an aptitude for alchemy either. You’ll be surprised after I pass the test.”
“In other words, you don’t want to tell me,” Arca muttered.
“Sorry?”
“Never mind.” She shrugged and started cutting her venison with a fork and knife.
Ethan breathed a sigh of relief and finally took his first bite.
“I heard demons came to the school.” Arca asked, “Do you know anything about that?”
“Yes. Headmaster Aincher gathered us all to explain the situation. I didn’t see them myself, but I’m glad the semester started without issue. Word is the demons made some sort of mistake.”
“Things aren’t looking good, Ethan.”
Ethan nodded. “With our older brother, you mean?”
“Lian?” Arca paused.
Lian Wiz Charasen was the eldest child of House Charasen, three years older than Arca. Though he was not as much of a genius as her, he was still undeniably talented. He also had a gift for eloquence, leadership, and political maneuvering. Within the family, many supporters favored him. He was widely seen as one of Arca’s main rivals for inheriting the house.
“He’s always trouble,” Arca concluded.
“So how has he been?”
“Annoying as ever, but nothing too serious.”
“That’s a relief.”
“But that’s not what I meant.”
“What did you mean, then?”
“This is about Damarth Yumaha itself.”
Suddenly, Arca was talking about worldwide issues. Ethan wasn’t surprised—Yurmus Magic Academy meant little to Arca. Some of the professors had nothing left to teach her. In fact, more than a few professors saw her less as a student and more as a fellow scholar or even a future patron. She was considered a once-in-a-generation talent. Arca was already doing her own private research and activities beyond what the Charasen family required. In Ethan’s eyes, her admission to the academy seemed like just another step along her personal journey.
“The Empire’s movements have been suspicious. Their agents and informants keep popping up in various nations. The countries where they haven’t been detected are even more nervous, believing they just haven’t found the hidden threat. Of course, that’s probably part of the Empire’s strategy.”
“You’re saying the demons at Yurmus were part of the Empire’s plot?”
“That’s right. Word will spread soon, but the Muhati Kingdom has sealed its borders because of an internal rebellion. They’re worried outside forces might collaborate and attack them.”
“Is there any evidence that the rebellion in Muhati is tied to the Empire?”
Arca took a moment to swallow a bite of venison, then said, “I stayed overnight at a baron’s castle in Calon, north of Muhati, on my detour. He mentioned over dinner that Muhati’s chancellor took a lover from among the Yumaha folk, except she turned out to be an agent of the Imperial Inquisition. She incited the chancellor to drive out the local lord.”
“The civil war there isn’t finished yet, right?” Ethan asked.
“Supposedly, several princes and princesses managed to escape, and there are courageous, loyal nobles still holding out. They’re all wary of the Empire’s influence, even the Baron of Calon, so the rebellion seems likely to fail.”
“…What if it succeeds?”
Arca placed her cutlery down for a moment and calmly replied, “Then the Empire will learn that their methods work and repeat the plot elsewhere.”
Hoping to lighten the mood, Ethan said, “This hardly sounds like the sort of conversation first and second-year magic academy students should be having.”
“Ethan.” Arca smiled in acknowledgment, understanding what he was trying to do. Despite that, she shut his attempt down. “This world is always on the brink, always has been on the brink. There have been countless invasions, endless wars. Damarth Yumaha is one of the last places where people can live with some semblance of safety. As the myths say, there’s no all-powerful god who protects the world, so we have to defend ourselves without relying on others’ strength. We can’t simply leave it to the adults. If we wait to begin preparing until it’s our turn, it’ll be too late. We have to be ready at all times. And… don’t you think seventeen or eighteen is old enough to talk about the state of the world?”
Ethan considered responding with something like Not everyone’s as mature as you, Sister, but in the end, he simply nodded in agreement. “You’re absolutely correct.”
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“So that was the conversation I had with my sister,” Ethan concluded.
“Was the venison tasty?” Boen asked.
“Yeah.”
“Well, at least she gave you some good news.”
They were standing face to face in a small wooded area not far from the Magic Academy.
“As for Muhati, there’s no need to stress. It’s the same old approach the Empire always takes. I doubt it’ll escalate too badly. I don’t know much about Muhati, but if history is anything to go by, there must be plenty of nobles who hate that chancellor’s guts. Some of them may see this rebellion as a convenient opportunity.”
Ethan snorted. “I feel relieved, hearing that from an actual former agent.”
“…I’m not one anymore, though.”
Bain had once arranged for Boen to be trained under the Imperial Inquisition, but only to stand in for Bain himself, who was technically the one they’d recruited. The Inquisition had never seen Boen as anything but Bain’s assistant, so Boen felt no loyalty toward them—and, likewise, they had never recognized Boen as a full-fledged agent.
“Anyway, back to our main topic,” Boen said, pointing at the flat, buzzing object floating between them at eye level. “I’ve never seen such a dumb familiar. It can’t move on its own; the mage has to control it directly.”
He was pointing at the DJI Gespenst V drone Ethan had received from the B-rank lottery. Its black body sported a glowing red sensor near the camera. In Boen’s other hand, he held the controller.
Ethan rolled his shoulders to loosen up. “It might be a dumb familiar, but we can make it work, right?”
“It does have some impressive abilities,” Boen said, using the controller to send the Gespenst V higher into the sky.
Both of them craned their heads, following the drone’s ascent. At around forty meters, it started to look faint. Past sixty meters, it became nearly invisible.
Ethan asked, “You think the professor will accept this as Summoning?”
“Hm. Hard to say.”
Summoning, as tested in Basic Magic Exercises, involved “calling forth an item specified by the caster to appear before them.” By that definition, any method that produced the item, provided it wasn’t already near the caster, should pass. Among the Gespenst V’s components was a gripper—a robotic arm—capable of picking up and dropping items. With a payload capacity of over 14 kilograms, there was clearly demand for such a feature.
Ethan planned to have the drone lift an item, fly out of sight, then drop it from above so it appeared to “materialize” in midair. That would, hopefully, look like Summoning.
“All right, let’s try it. The professors pass or fail based on the phenomenon itself, they don’t check how it happened. If the object just falls in the right place at the right time, we won’t have to worry about too many variables. There’s still some risk, though. Maybe the examiner will have sharp eyes and spot the Gespenst V, or maybe they’ll hear the drone buzzing, or figure out I’m controlling your so-called ‘familiar.’ If any of those happen—”
“…If it fails, I’ll just give up. Can you at least give it a shot?”
“All right.”
On Ethan’s signal—two quick blinks—Boen directed the Gespenst V to release the scabbard containing Ethan’s dagger. It was small enough not to flap around too much in the wind and weighed just enough to be carried with one mechanical arm.
Ethan kept his gaze fixed straight ahead until the final moment, then used Ruure’s Breathing to imbue his muscles with mana.
He reached out to catch the dagger as it appeared from nowhere.
∞
“Ethan Dora Charasen, Basic Magic Exercises ‘Summoning’ section…” In a dry tone, Professor Rydel Remus announced her verdict on Ethan’s performance. “…Pass.”
The very next day, before the eyes of the entire student body, Ethan managed to clear the Summoning subtest of Basic Magic Exercises, earning two points.
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