WeTried Translations

Translator: Coughing Baby

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◈ The Inept Mage’s Infinite Regression

Chapter 50

“How in the world did you pass Basic Magic Practice, Ethan?” Yejoff threw an arm around Ethan’s shoulder as if they were pals. “You must’ve done sleight of hand, right? Not real magic.”

Even in Damarth Yumaha, there was the concept of stage “magic tricks.” They were often regarded as separate from actual magic, similar to how lesser spells were belittled as mere parlor tricks. Some “magicians” in small villages and back alleys posed as sorcerers or mages, swindling people out of their money. Such people were despised by real mages.

Ethan almost grabbed Yejoff’s arm and slammed him to the ground, but he stopped himself. Instead, he raised the man’s arm off his shoulder.

“Of course not, Yejoff. It’s all thanks to hard work.”

“Yeah? But in the first semester, you couldn’t do magic at all. Even before you enrolled, some people already knew you wouldn’t be able to do magic.”

“I guess I exceeded everyone’s expectations.”

Ethan’s self-assured reply left Yejoff momentarily speechless. Only after Ethan started walking again did Yejoff speak up from behind him.

“Or maybe… you used dark magic?”

"And if I did?”

When Ethan looked back with a smile, Yejoff shrank back; it wasn’t the reaction he’d anticipated. Ethan’s eyes were hidden by the hall’s column shadows.

"W-well, then I’d have to tell the professors…”

"Relax, I’m joking. As if I’d do that.” Ethan stepped out from the shadows with a laugh and patted Yejoff on the forearm. "Have a good break, Yejoff.”

∞

Jimonail accepted defeat, but it wasn’t because of Ethan. Even when Ethan held a blade to her throat, she showed no intention of yielding. However, once Rivielton finished chopping three of her skeletal knights in half and appeared before Ethan, Jimonail lost all will to continue. In the process of sealing her knights, only the dual-sword knight managed to regenerate; the three that Rivielton had fought were too damaged to be recovered. True, Jimonail still had her greatest weapon—the skeletal wyvern—but she must have realized it too would be useless against Rivielton.

When Rivielton appeared before Ethan, he was sweaty and his armor was slightly battered, but he hadn’t shed a single drop of blood.

"You monster,” Jimonail spat.

Ethan couldn’t deny it. ‘Honestly, even when Professor was ambushed by Sirund Zen, he was probably just flung away, not actually hurt.’

Boen and Ru, the ones Ethan had been worried about, were fine. Boen had narrowly avoided Marrsinon’s Flame but hit the back of his head on a rock when he fell, knocking himself out briefly. Ru had simply tumbled backward after the rope burned and snapped, thrown off balance by her own force.

In the workshop, Ethan used Agatha to restore Ru’s automaton control rights to her. It was a simple matter of exchanging a few words via Agatha—Ru’s claim that “anyone can do it” hadn’t been a lie.

Just before leaving the workshop, Ru said, "I don’t mind if you take my control rights.”

"Please, Professor. Show some restraint.”

"If you don’t want it, then how about you, Beard?”

Rivielton burst into hearty laughter and fled the scene. Sensing the shift, Boen had already slipped away under the guise of “keeping an eye on Jimonail.”

Sounding surprisingly serious, Ru said, "If no one takes my control rights… then I’ll have to command my own fate…”

"We all live like that.”

"That’s incredibly painful, Ethan…”

"I’m aware.”

"You’re still too young to really understand…”

‘Wow, dealing with her is no joke.’

Upon returning to school, Ethan, Boen, Rivielton, and Jimonail met with Headmaster Aincher Durmus, who presented Jimonail with two options:

First, she could remain silent, in which case the events at Ru’s estate would be shared with the Mage Council. This would inevitably result in Jimonail’s expulsion.

Second, she could reveal everything to Aincher, who would take responsibility and overlook the incident at Ru’s estate. Naturally, Jimonail would be allowed to continue attending school—though she’d have to turn over her weapons to Aincher until the upcoming break, at which point they’d be returned to her family.

Jimonail chose the second option.

Once Jimonail returned to her room, Aincher spoke to Ethan. <‘This sort of leniency for a crime is excessive, Headmaster. I will report everything I have seen and heard to the Mage Council.’>

"Huh?” Ethan replied.

<Don’t you feel that way?>

"Not at all. Jimonail is a noble from a big family. People make mistakes.”

Right next to him, Boen’s face twisted into a grimace.

Ethan glanced over. "I’m kidding,” he said.

"I know. That’s why it annoys me.”

"If Jimonail had killed someone who wasn’t a noble, or even someone who was, then imposing a harsher punishment than this would bring pressure on Yurmus Magic Academy from both the Eurogia House and the emperor, right, Headmaster?”

Aincher, with his distinctive “bonsai” head, nodded.

<That’s correct. I hope you can understand. And besides, after hearing everything from Jimonail, our existing rules have largely lost their meaning.>

All four people in the Headmaster’s office recalled what Jimonail had said, each lost in thought for a moment.

"But, Headmaster, is it okay to leave Professor Ru alone like that?" Ethan asked. "Actually, is it safe for the academy to have such a critical vulnerability? A single student nearly took over the place.”

<Technically, the school was already taken over. However, with just automatons, the academy itself isn’t in serious danger. The automatons used here aren’t the sort designed for warfare. Even if they were turned against us, the Magic Academy’s faculty could handle it. In the worst case, the automatons would be destroyed.

<Even without them, the students can manage their own cooking, laundry, and cleaning… It is not a serious problem. The issue arises when an army storms the academy exactly when it is cut off from the outside and at its weakest. The academy can serve as a fortress, but every fortress is vulnerable to internal sabotage.

<That’s why a spell of cognitive interference is placed on the automatons. It’s a form of mental magic—there are various subtypes, but the goal is the same: ‘Prevent people from thinking about a certain object or concept.’ Normally, neither students nor faculty question where the automatons come from or where they go.>

"Then how did Jimonail find out?”

<That’s what I find puzzling. By my authority as headmaster, I’m exempt from that magic, and I hear Ethan is bypassing it through black magic—but an ordinary student can’t. That cognitive interference covers not only the academy’s automatons but also Ru’s estate and Ru herself.>

"Then maybe the person who cast it…”

<No, that’s not it. A legendary archmage who was once Ru’s friend set it in place long ago, but that mage is no longer in this land. However, we all know of someone who might be able to break an archmage’s spell and ferret out the academy’s weakness.>

No one spoke the name, but it was obvious who he was talking about…

Emperor Cario.

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In the Headmaster’s office, Ethan used Save, then spent the second semester diligently completing Broker Quests. He collected about ten D-rank Lottery Coupons and traded most of them for useful items through a merchant, keeping two in reserve.

Linav’s plan succeeded, so Jimonail never had a chance to pose as Cario, but it may not have been necessary. After her defeat by Ethan, she had become depressed and never regained her old popularity.

Having thwarted her plan and completed a main quest, Ethan earned two C-rank Lottery Coupons. However, he didn’t like the prizes from those two coupons. One consisted of “flippers,” a “snorkeling mask,” and a “full-body swimsuit.” Since Ethan had grown up in a port city, he was already a good swimmer and doubted he would need them. Demi suggested he try them out if he was skeptical, but Ethan wasn’t keen on dunking himself in the icy autumn river just for a test. The second coupon yielded an oral solution called “morphine.” Given that Ethan knew the pain-alleviating magic “Anashi’s Warmth,” he was suspicious of the side effects written all over the instructions.

As the second semester ended, students who had long journeys ahead left the school early—just like the first semester. In parting, Ethan flipped Yejoff off by resting his pinky on Yejoff’s shoulder. He also had to refuse Arca’s insistence on going home together, which wasn’t easy. Finally, Ethan revisited the quest he’d received after hearing Jimonail’s truth:

[Main Quest: Truth Is the First Casualty of War (S)]

[You have discovered what is unfolding, yet there is no escape. Witness the truth, accept it, and survive. When winter comes, the hell of this world will come knocking for you.]

Even rereading it, Ethan found it outrageous.

‘An S-rank quest? Didn’t it go B, then A?’

Shortly after the last remaining students were gone, the Empire invaded the Kingdom of Kardien.

∞

Three months later, Ethan, now a combat mage, was riding a horse along the road near the Kardien-Yekatan border.

The heads of Yekatan soldiers, who had lost a recent battle to the Imperial Army, lined the road. Every last one had had their left ear severed.

Brushing flies away from his face, Ethan suddenly felt a jolt of déjà vu and turned his head.

He recognized someone.

"Yejoff.”

The head of Prince Yejoff Asgasil of the Yekatan Kingdom was impaled on a spike, his tongue left to loll out.

Ethan halted in front of Yejoff’s head, silently inclined his own in mourning, then spurred his horse onward.

"Foolish idiot.”

Early spring growth was sprouting from bare branches, snowmelt was streaming again, and though the sun’s warmth eased the cold a little, the war raged on.

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