WeTried Translations

Translator: Coughing Baby

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◈ The Inept Mage’s Infinite Regression

Chapter 8

"But simply learning a swordsmanship’s forms is meaningless. You must master the changes in strength and the corresponding breathing technique, as well as everything else that comes with learning swordsmanship. It won’t feel much like a magic class. Are you okay with that?"

"That’s perfect,” Ethan said. “I’m already getting tired of the academy’s magic classes."

"Let’s talk a bit about your childhood,” Rivielton suggested. “I’m curious to hear about the backstreets."

Ethan thought that, since Rivielton had agreed to teach him swordsmanship, there was no need to keep his past secret. He couldn’t reveal everything about his family, but he felt comfortable sharing some information.

"When I was very young, I lived in a mansion, but I don’t remember much about that. Until I was fourteen, I lived out in the city. My mother had poor health and couldn’t work, and my father didn’t support us, so I used ‘earning pocket money’ as an excuse to run errands for a gang of thieves with my childhood friends from the alley. After my mother passed away when I was nine, I just lived in the alley."

"Errands, you say?"

Ethan coughed awkwardly. "Charasen is a large port city. Merchant ships carry not just merchants but also wealthy tourists, and while the ships are docked, those tourists often relax in big cities like Charasen. They’re easily distracted by unfamiliar languages, clothing, and buildings. Some people get so distracted, in fact, that they don’t keep a close eye on their belongings."

"So you were a pickpocket?"

"…I swear by Era, they were all wealthy people. Losing a purse for a day wasn’t a big deal for them."

Ethan glanced at Rivielton, trying to gauge the professor’s reaction. As far as Ethan knew, Rivielton wasn’t from a particularly noble family either, and he wasn’t the type to preach justice and morality about matters he had no firsthand experience with.

Sure enough, Rivielton shook his head, but a smile lingered on his lips as he said, "You were quite the troublemaker. Have you done any of that since coming to the academy?"

"No, I don’t do that anymore."

"Didn’t you break into Boen’s room?"

"…That was an exception."

"Be careful,” Rivielton warned him.

"Of course."

Rivielton shifted his posture, crossing his arms as if to change the subject. "By the way, why did Charasen’s thief gangs make kids like you run errands? They could’ve done it themselves, couldn’t they? On the other hand, you could’ve pickpocketed people without their help."

"People tend to let their guard down around children, and even if a child gets caught, it won’t be too serious. You might get slapped or kicked, but they won’t draw a dueling sword."

"I’m sure not everyone reacted that way."

"That’s when the gang stepped in. They made sure things didn’t escalate. Of course, they weren’t just protecting kids—they also handled the stolen goods. The kids never knew the values of the items and never met the fences; the gangs took the goods and gave the kids a small cut."

"But kids don’t stay kids forever," Rivielton said.

"Right. Eventually, something unfortunate happens," Ethan responded. "I guess they noticed I was growing taller and stronger. I stopped pickpocketing and started looking after the kids that did. I also ran miscellaneous errands. Charasen had three thief gangs, so there were frequent petty conflicts between them. I had to use a knife a lot. That’s when I learned how to handle a blade and move my body."

Ethan decided not to mention Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu. He figured Rivielton wouldn’t notice.

"Hmm. Most mages spend their childhoods holed up in rooms reading books and meditating, barely able to walk—no, many can’t even walk properly. You’re still a bit small, but judging by your hands and shoulders, you’ll grow taller," Rivielton said. "I guess your time in the backstreets paid off."

"Maybe."

"And after hearing your story, I think I’ve figured out the right training method for you," Rivielton concluded.

It was a training method Ethan hadn’t anticipated at all.

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Ethan carried a stone the size of his head, pressing it against his stomach as he walked across the dormitory courtyard. His shirt was already soaked with sweat, but noble decorum was clear: He couldn’t take it off.

After taking ten or so steps, Ethan put the stone down and, through gasping breaths, said to Rivielton, "Huff, huff… Professor…"

"What is it?"

"Sorry, but… what does this have to do with the story I just told you?"

"Hmm?"

"Is this some kind of punishment for being a pickpocket, or…?"

Rivielton chuckled. "Not at all! From your story, it sounds like you were nimble enough to pick pockets and good at running away, but it also sounds like you didn’t have much experience building muscle. Lifting heavy things is the best way to build a strong body."

Demi chimed in, <That’s correct. Weight training aids muscle growth. Many Terrans build muscle the same way.>

<Correct. Those in such professions excel in performing their tasks compared to others.>

Rivielton said, "And it’s something you absolutely need."

"I’m not going to build houses or mine ore."

"But you’ll have to take the Basic Magic Practice exam, won’t you?" Rivielton continued, "One of the subjects in the Basic Magic Practice exam is lifting stones."

Ethan glanced at the stone. "Does it count if you lift it with your hands?"

"Of course. You can also lift it with Body Enhancement Magic."

"What about Body Magic?"

Rivielton looked at the small forest beyond the dormitory’s courtyard. "Nobody’s done it before, but it should be fine. The Basic Magic Practice exam has multiple proctors, so their standards might vary slightly…"

"…So nobody has passed with body magic before."

"But…!" Rivielton pointed to a stone about the size of an adult man’s chest, larger than the one Ethan had just lifted. "If you lift a stone that an ordinary person can’t lift, any proctor would naturally recognize it as magic."

"…Even though nobody has passed with body magic before."

Ethan could tell that his strength had been improving, and it wasn’t just from lifting stones; the breathing technique Rivielton had taught him was working.

Typical magi breathing techniques, like the Yurmus Breathing Technique taught to those entering the magic academy, involved drawing in magi and converting it into mana inside the skull.

On the other hand, the Ruure Breathing Technique Rivielton had taught him, used for body magic, drew magi downward and converted it into mana in the lower abdomen. It was similar to the family techniques of knights.

However, magi sensitivity remained an issue. Magi breathing techniques involved inhaling the faint magi in the atmosphere, separate from the biological need for air. If one couldn’t sense magi, these techniques were useless.

Fortunately, the Ruure Breathing Technique converted a relatively small amount of mana, so even those insensitive to magi could accumulate it. Although the mana accumulated in the lower abdomen couldn’t be used for typical spells, it still granted unique abilities.

"By the way, Professor Rivielton…"

"What is it?"

"Even if I can lift stones, what about the other Basic Magic Practice exams?"

Rivielton thought for a moment and said, "Let’s focus on passing one exam first, shall we?"

Ethan sighed and walked toward the stone Rivielton had pointed out.

∞

About a month later, Rivielton decided Ethan had gained enough strength and learned how to manipulate internal mana well enough, so he added more training. Running around the academy grounds and learning basic sword stances had been easy enough for Ethan. Climbing trees and doing somersaults, however, proved harder to grasp, but thanks to Ethan’s natural agility and the strength gained from his training, they weren’t too difficult.

Two months later, the training Ethan had been waiting for finally began: sparring with Rivielton. However, Ethan’s level was too low for spars to be all that effective, and the sessions were short. Rivielton’s focus was elsewhere, on a new addition to Ethan’s training: tug-of-war.

Tug-of-war was a common wrestling game among southern sailors wherein two people pulled on opposite ends of a rope to topple each other. It was also played in Charasen, where Ethan had lived. Rivielton said any form of wrestling would do, so he’d chosen one Ethan was familiar with.

"All fights are like wrestling," Rivielton said. "A fight isn’t just about who’s stronger. It’s about knowing where and how to apply your strength to topple your opponent. There’s no better way to learn to fight than through wrestling. Swordsmanship, combat magic, even war—they’re all just more complex forms of wrestling."

Rivielton didn’t go easy on him. Ethan kept falling and getting hurt, and he collapsed from exhaustion at the end of each day… but he enjoyed the training sessions with Rivielton because for the first time, he felt like he was actually learning something.

∞

Around three months later, at the start of the semester, Rivielton called Ethan. They didn’t meet in the usual dormitory courtyard or the Combat Magic Society workshop. Instead, they met in the Great Hall, which was normally used as a dining area.

Ethan thought it might be another new training method, but it wasn’t.

"You’ll have to meet with an Imperial mage," said Rivielton.

"Is it because of Count Bain?"

"That’s right. It seems Bain was more deeply involved with the Empire than I thought. The Empire is making an issue of the fact that Bain, a member of the Imperial Inquisition, was expelled from Yurmus Magic Academy. They’re claiming that the academy expelled Bain and Boen because we’re hiding a dark mage."

"But Yurmus isn’t a vassal state of the Empire, right? It’s only natural to find and punish spies."

"Correct, but there’s also the prejudice that mages, including the Mage Council, have against dark mages. More importantly, the Empire is much larger than Yurmus. If the Empire claims that we are harboring a dark mage, then Yurmus needs to clarify. Whether they are genuinely suspicious or it’s just an excuse, I don’t know."

Rivielton patted Ethan’s shoulder.

"Besides, there are no dark mages in our academy, so the headmaster and other professors agreed to accept an Imperial investigator. The Empire is being careful too—they’re sending someone from the Mage Court, not the Inquisition. They’ll probably meet with you as a witness, but don’t worry. It shouldn’t be a big deal."

Ethan felt cold sweat run down his back.

<What should I do?> he asked Demi.

Ethan asked Rivielton, "So, when is the investigator coming?"

Rivielton smiled awkwardly. "For some reason, the Empire made the decision very quickly. It’s quite rude, but the headmaster has already spoken with the investigator who arrived and made the decision. Apparently, they’re of considerable standing."

"Does that mean…?"

"They’re already here."

The Great Hall’s main doors opened, and a dozen or so demons walked in.

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