WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Dionysus
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ The Newbie Civil Servant Hunts Villains Before Going Home ◈
Chapter 93: I'm About to Pass Out (2)
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* * *
“...Doctor!”
The door opened.
Jeongmin hurriedly hid the tablet he had been looking at behind his back.
“W-what...?”
The moment he turned his head, his expression changed completely.
Hyeonyul was slung over Sinu’s back.
“This way.”
Jeongmin led them to the bed.
“Please stay calm, Doctor.”
Sinu tried to reassure him.
He must have been shocked.
“I am calm, so tell me what happened.”
Perhaps because Hyeonyul had collapsed before, Jeongmin was calmer than expected.
Still, his hands moved busily.
“The Villain we fought during the mission said he knew Hyeonyul. After that, Hyeonyul started acting strangely.”
“What... did he say?”
Jeongmin’s hands stopped as he looked at Sinu.
“He said he knew Hyeonyul.”
“Did... part of Hyeonyul’s body collapse?”
“That’s right!”
“...Ha.”
Jeongmin exhaled.
He reached out and brushed Hyeonyul’s forehead.
“...What’s wrong?”
“It’s shock.”
“Shock?”
“You know how people say that even if the mind doesn’t remember, the body does? His body remembered that time.”
“Then, um, is this because the drugs burned out the circuits in his brain?”
Sinu asked hesitantly, since that was roughly what he had heard.
“That’s right. The shock is too much for what remains of him to take in. ...Put simply, it’s like his plug was suddenly pulled.”
Even small emotions had always shaken Hyeonyul greatly.
Countless stimuli came at him, but he could not process them, so he had become numb.
It was as if he had chosen to erase various stimuli and emotions altogether.
But there was one thing he could not turn away from: everything related to the time Hyeonyul had been an experimental subject.
Unable to bear what came rushing in, he had protected himself by pulling down the shutters.
Hyeonyul knew this too, which was why he had cared so much about not being shaken.
‘...So he isn’t all right after all.’
Jeongmin sighed as he came face-to-face with the concern that had lingered in his mind.
Hyeonyul had said he was fine, over and over, but he was not.
“Of course, I thought he wouldn’t be in good condition, but he looked much worse than I expected.”
“How did he look?”
“He seemed... different. Like he was muttering to himself.”
“Did he... take his medicine?”
“I don’t know what medicine it was, but he took it about twice.”
Jeongmin felt relieved at the fact that Hyeonyul had taken medicine.
What medicine could it have been?
“If it’s all right, may I ask what medicine it was?”
Sinu spoke despite the rudeness.
He needed to know something if he was going to pay closer attention.
“Hyeonyul takes several medicines, but the one you saw was probably something that makes his damaged circuits work more smoothly.”
“...Is it psychiatric medicine?”
Sinu did not quite understand.
“You could see it that way, but think of it as putting up pillars so that the roof doesn’t collapse. That part of him is weak, so...”
Jeongmin trailed off, and his eyes wavered for a moment.
‘...Hyeonyul won’t like this.’
No matter what anyone said, Hyeonyul truly hated becoming useless.
“So, I hope you won’t think of him strangely. It’s only like this for a little while today. It happened so suddenly. It’s not that there’s something wrong with Hyeonyul. Really, anyone would be like this, wouldn’t they? If something unexpected happens, people panic. That’s all you need to think.”
Seeing him continue as though making excuses made Sinu uncomfortable.
How much had he suffered?
He could see it.
“Doctor, it’s all right. You can just explain it comfortably.”
“...”
Jeongmin was briefly at a loss for words.
Soon, he pressed his lips together tightly before slowly opening his mouth.
“He looks... strange, doesn’t he?”
“He doesn’t. I truly mean it.”
“I don’t want my explanation to become the standard by which you see Hyeonyul. I just hope you understand that much. This... can’t all be explained. It’s very complicated.”
“...Is it because he feels like he’s being erased from the world?”
Jeongmin looked at Sinu in surprise at those words.
It was as though he had heard something unfamiliar.
“Hyeonyul is an amazing rookie. He’s our teammate. I trust the Team Lead. And I trust Hyeonyul too.”
Really?
As Jeongmin looked at him cautiously, Sinu smiled.
“I understand what happened today too. It’s natural to be flustered after waiting for something for such a long time. I’m also... still waiting to take my younger sibling somewhere peaceful as soon as possible.”
Sinu fidgeted with his hands.
He did not know much, but he knew this much.
Hyeonyul and Jeongmin had seemed as though the world had cast them aside a very, very long time ago.
“I don’t think strangely of what happened today. I’m only worried about Hyeonyul.”
Sinu reassured Jeongmin.
Yet the strange sense of wariness did not settle down.
“Hyeonyul will be all right, right?”
“He’ll be fine. Like I said before, his system just shut down automatically because it was too difficult for him to handle that sudden fact.”
“Then I’ll leave now, feeling reassured.”
Sinu stepped back with a smile.
“Sinu.”
“Yes, Doctor.”
“...I’m sorry for making you uncomfortable.”
“Oh, Doctor. You don’t have to be. I’m really fine. I’m not that narrow-minded. I’m actually very broad-minded, you know?”
Sinu confidently thumped his chest, but Jeongmin’s expression was still full of apology.
He really seemed like a good person.
“If you feel that sorry, let’s have a meal together sometime. What do you say?”
“That sounds good.”
“With Hyeonyul too.”
“...Uh, yes. We should, if we can.”
When Jeongmin answered weakly, Sinu finally laughed loudly.
“I’ll tell the Team Lead, so don’t worry.”
Sinu bowed his head.
“Thank you.”
“It’s nothing. Contact me when he wakes up. I’ll come running right away.”
As Sinu grinned, Jeongmin waved his hand.
‘He’s so personable. I wish Hyeonyul were like that too.’
With that small wish in his heart, Jeongmin started with the IV drip.
He stared at Hyeonyul for a while, then patted his arm.
‘You’ve been through a lot.’
His chest tightened just imagining how Hyeonyul must have felt.
Was it not terribly sad that Hyeonyul could not accept those emotions himself?
When people were sad, they should be sad. When they were happy, they should be happy. When they were angry, they should be angry.
Yet all of that was terribly difficult for Hyeonyul.
* * *
“...How is Hyeonyul?”
The moment Sinu arrived, Haeryeon asked urgently.
She looked so flustered that she had even omitted the honorific.
“Doctor Jeongmin says he’ll be fine. The shock was so great that his system automatically shut down.”
Even as he answered, Sinu’s expression was not bright.
If Hyeonyul had been shocked enough to faint, how terrible must that shock have been?
“Is Hyeonyul hyung’s arm really all right?”
Jihwan asked, still startled. Sinu finally smiled.
“I told you, that wasn’t Hyeonyul’s arm.”
Sinu paused as he was about to sit down.
“...Were you crying?”
Nayun’s eyes were red.
“I wasn’t.”
“...All right.”
“Ah, I was upset. Upset! I saw it, but I couldn’t stop him! I should’ve just run over there! Why was I... guarding my position over something like that?”
Nayun could not finish her sentence.
Her eyes grew wet again.
She had thought she was about to lose another colleague.
“I... was late. I’m sorry.”
“...No. I was the one who was late.”
After Sinu apologized, Jihwan lowered his head slightly.
He pressed his thumb tightly with his other fingers.
“If I hadn’t just stood there blankly, Sinu hyung wouldn’t have been late.”
“That’s enough, Jihwan. I was late.”
“No. Me! I could’ve just fired, but I hesitated. Even then, I was thinking about the mission. I’m crazy. I’m... crazy.”
Nayun bit her lip hard.
“Nayun, stop. You’ll hurt your lip.”
Haeryeon stopped Nayun and looked at the others.
“Sinu and Jihwan, you stop too. What happened today was an unexpected variable. For Hyeonyul, and for us.”
That was how they had to see it.
Nothing would change by blaming themselves.
Was it not fortunate that they had found out like this?
Just imagining it happening after the situation had grown worse was already terrifying.
“Team Lead.”
“Yes?”
When Sinu called, Haeryeon looked at him.
“About Hyeonyul.”
Sinu hesitated.
What was he going to say?
Haeryeon handed Nayun a tissue until he spoke.
“I think he’s far more obsessed with missions than I thought.”
He had thought lightly that it could be so.
There could be people who were particularly driven about their missions.
“And I think he’s been abandoned far, far more often than I thought.”
Since it was only his own thought, Sinu was very cautious.
“...Hmm, saying he was abandoned makes me feel sorry toward Hyeonyul, but I don’t know how else to put it.”
He had been through hell.
But even that was too weak to describe Hyeonyul.
“I thought so too, and I’ve been seeing it that way all along.”
Haeryeon smiled softly at Sinu.
“You only realized that now?”
Nayun looked at Sinu as though he were unreliable.
She had thought he already knew everything, but apparently that was not the case.
‘Seriously, Baek Sinu is always like this.’
Nayun dabbed at the corners of her eyes with the tissue.
“...What?”
“I’m sorry to make the mood even... heavier, but Hyeonyul hyung doesn’t seem to have much time.”
Jihwan hesitantly opened his mouth as well.
“...What?”
Sinu’s eyes looked as though they might pop out.
“It’s true. Doctor Jeongmin told me.”
Haeryeon drove the point home.
She had said that Hyeonyul’s lifespan could not help but be short.
Sinu’s expression darkened.
“I don’t know what all of you think, but from the moment I asked Hyeonyul to join our team, I decided to carry all of that with me.”
Just as he had many strengths, he also had weaknesses.
But was that not true of everyone?
“Our team needed him, and I thought he was someone Black Eagle needed. I have no intention of sending Hyeonyul back to the Villains.”
“Neither do I. At first, I did tilt my head at the fact that he came from the Villains, but then and now, I trusted the Team Lead. It’s also been enjoyable learning more and more about why the Team Lead chose Hyeonyul.”
Nayun raised the corner of her lips in a long smile.
Hyeonyul had made up for every part they lacked.
So it was only right that they made up for what Hyeonyul lacked.
“Of course. Hyeonyul hyung must have really... truly suffered there. I make lots of mistakes too, so how could it make sense to dislike him over something like this?”
Jihwan solemnly clenched his fist and placed it on the table.
If anyone had more flaws, it would be him.
“Even if he tries to leave, I’ll talk him out of it. I got lonely because nobody shared what they were thinking with me, but I’m glad to confirm that we feel the same way.”
Sinu slightly raised his hand, his face sulky.
Still, they should have shared it.
How unfair.
“I don’t think only Hyeonyul is special. I think every one of you is special. So let’s work through things one at a time.”
Haeryeon smiled happily at everyone’s words.
* * *
Hyeonyul opened his eyes.
He saw a familiar ceiling.
“...Did I collapse?”
“Are you all right?”
Jeongmin came running over in a hurry.
“Yes. I’m perfectly fine.”
Hyeonyul raised his hand, clenched his fist, then opened it.
It worked properly.
Then he was fine.
“Doctor. It seems the shock was greater than I expected.”
He did not know how to express it.
Hyeonyul turned his head to look at Jeongmin.
He wondered if Jeongmin might show some emotion in his place.
“Of course it was. Is that even something to say?”
“Difficult emotions suddenly came rushing in. I found them difficult to understand and difficult to accept.”
“...That bastard who said he knew you, is he dead?”
“Yes. I killed him without knowing anything. I should have cut him more shallowly. It was my mistake.”
Hyeonyul calmly acknowledged his mistake.
The emotions that had flooded him before he collapsed no longer remained.
“How much longer do I have to keep this on?”
Hyeonyul pointed at the IV drip.
A mistake had occurred during the mission.
This too was his mistake.
He needed to explain himself, at least.
“It’s fine.”
“What’s fine?”
“Team Lead Haeryeon said that once you finish it, you should go home.”
“...Go home? Or have I been kicked out?”
Hyeonyul asked, hardly daring to believe it.
Collapsing during a mission was serious enough to prepare for death.
“You’re going home.”
“Really?”
Hyeonyul asked in surprise.
“Hyeonyul.”
“Yes.”
“No one here will kick you out.”
Jeongmin smiled gently.
“You can’t know that. I must not be kicked out. I cannot be kicked out.”
He might not have known before, but having already received these benefits, he could not return to his past.
Anyone would feel that way.
Hyeonyul gripped the blanket.
“Hyeonyul. Just breathe and live a little. Being so on edge also leads to overwork. You said you hated living an overworked life.”
“I did say that. ...But, Doctor.”
“Yes, Hyeonyul.”
“I said it. I said he was someone who knew me in the past.”
“You said that?”
“Yes.”
“You...?”
“I said it. Even if I wasn’t in my right state, I shouldn’t have done that. I thought the fact that I was so shaken could excuse why I said it, but being shaken in itself was the problem. The words I said only exposed my weakness.”
He had thought that, to become Black Eagle, there might be something besides the fact that he had been a Villain that would work on them.
That was his being an experimental subject.
He had wanted them to pity him.
Whether it was sympathy or anything else, he had wanted them to waver.
Because that itself had not become a weakness for him.
But this time was different.
“Why... did I do that?”
Hyeonyul felt puzzled.
It was unlike him.
“Knowing that being useless means death, why did I say something like that? Why did I reveal my weakness?”
No matter how much he thought about it, he could not understand.
Black Eagle and his past could not become a matter of mutual interest.
It was inefficient.
Hyeonyul waited for Jeongmin’s answer.
But Jeongmin suddenly laughed.
Why?
“Why are you laughing?”
“Just a moment, Hyeonyul.”
“Yes.”
Hyeonyul waited quietly.
Jeongmin picked up his phone and called someone.
“Yes, Team Lead. Hyeonyul has woken up.”
The moment he realized it was Haeryeon, Hyeonyul sat up.
“...Why are you calling the Team Lead?”
“I thought it would reassure you.”
“I think that action makes me even less familiar with the word reassurance.”
“You’ve changed.”
“Pardon?”
“You’ve changed, Hyeonyul. I think it’s in a good direction.”
“I haven’t changed at all.”
“Yes, that can be so.”
Jeongmin nodded as though he roughly understood.
“Doctor. If you say that, I don’t understand. What has changed?”
“It may be a little to someone else, but to me, you’ve changed a great deal.”
Jeongmin could see that Hyeonyul was accepting his teammates.
Was he not doing things for his teammates that he had never done for anyone but Jeongmin?
Even if not now, the day would come when Hyeonyul realized it himself.
Hyeonyul turned his head.
Jeongmin had just called, but could someone arrive this quickly?
The door flew open.
“You really are all right, Hyeonyul?”
Haeryeon came over and examined Hyeonyul’s condition.
“...Ah, I’m sorry. I was in such a hurry that I was rude.”
Haeryeon soon apologized to Jeongmin.
She had acted discourteously.
“It’s understandable.”
Jeongmin smiled with his usual kind expression.
He lightly raised his hand and pointed to Hyeonyul.
“As you can see, Hyeonyul is fine.”
“Is he really... fine?”
Since Hyeonyul did not look well, Haeryeon quietly asked Jeongmin.
“Team Lead. What happened during this mission was due to my inexperience, so...”
Loud footsteps rang out.
“You, you, are you all right?”
Nayun’s voice followed, making Hyeonyul tilt his head.
Why had they come here?
More breathing and footsteps could be heard.
“You...! Rest! All right?”
Sinu said between gasps.
“That’s right. Rest tomorrow too, Hyeonyul. You worked really hard today. Thanks to you, we rescued the White Sparrow agents. They all asked us to tell you thank you too.”
“...Pardon?”
Hyeonyul could not understand Haeryeon’s words.
You worked hard.
Thank you.
They were all very unfamiliar words.
Jeongmin grinned, but Hyeonyul did not notice it.
No one was criticizing him.
What was this called?
“Why... have none of you gone home?”
That was all he could say.
Anything more was difficult.
Laughter suddenly broke out around him.
“We waited for you to wake...”
“W-we waited for you to wake up!”
Jihwan barely shouted while holding onto the doorframe.
He soon sank down, panting.
It felt like he had run faster than he ever had in his life.
“...It really was the leader.”
Jihwan said with a grin.
“You did it, Hyeonyul hyung!”
Hyeonyul silently looked at them.
He was speechless at a sight he had never seen in his life.
Strangely, it felt as though sunlight was pouring down.
Hyeonyul blinked, then quietly took out his medicine.
‘Am I... seeing hallucinations?’
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