WeTried Translations
Translator: Goku
Editor: Sty
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ The War Hero in the NTR Game Wants to Die ◈
Chapter 022
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Lingering Light (3)
Even after pushing them away, they stubbornly cling. The wrist I tried to shake off is grabbed instead, then they seize my collar and pull.
"You disappeared on a whim, and now where are you off to this time?"
"It's none of your business. Haa… you fucking bastard, let go."
I tried to shake off the wrist holding my collar and move again, but she grabbed my arm again.
Now, even if I chased her, it didn't seem likely I could catch Arin, who had run away.
What do I care where she went in the first place?
Thanks to this idiotic, orphaned bitch in front of me, I can't even move freely.
My mother left me because of this fucking bitch, and now I have to lose Arin right before my eyes because of her too?
There's a limit to this nonsense.
"You suddenly took a carriage and disappeared on the ball night… I asked everyone, but no one knew where you went, and when I asked Father, he just said there was no need to look for you… Roseline was busy crying, and when I asked the young lady of Monbern, who was newly betrothed this time, she just spouted nonsense… And then, after finally meeting you like this, the first thing you say is for me to get out of your way?"
"Rione."
"…Why."
"You, you fucking bastard, do you really think I want to acknowledge you?"
With my arm still held, I took a step closer to utter those words, then let out a long sigh and stepped back.
As if she'd been shocked, the grip on my arm subtly loosened.
I spoke quietly to the slack-handed Rione.
"…Come inside and talk."
Saying so, I pulled my hand free and dragged her directly into the professor's office.
As soon as the door closed, Rione uttered in a trembling voice.
"At least acknowledge me… even if we fought last time, we're family, aren't we?"
As if unable to contain her anger, her words splintered and trailed off.
Her two fists were clenched tight, pale as if drained of blood.
"You heard what I said back then, didn't you?"
"…I don't put much meaning into words uttered out of anger, I don't."
You only do that for what's convenient, I suppose.
Because you've always been that way.
When was it that you completely smashed my head last time?
"So… you've been looking for me?"
"Yes."
"Why?"
"…What are you talking about?"
"Why were you looking for me? You never treated me like a human, did you? And it's the same now."
"Rather than not treating you like a human… I was just pointing out your shortcomings. You know, Big Brother, how pathetic, weak, and incompetent you are."
"And now you've come to me to protect some idiot who got beaten up by that kind of person."
"That's…"
"And if I were incompetent, would I be doing this here?"
"That doesn't make sense then, why are you here, Big Brother?"
"Because Her Holiness sent me."
"…What?"
"Don't ask again when you've already understood."
"Why on earth would the Church send Big Brother… Haa."
Rione sighed and spoke as if lecturing.
"Do you even know that the Church never approved of our family in the first place?"
"Father doesn't approve of me either, it's the same. And that man hasn't set foot in the Church once since Mother died. If he's displeased, tell him to go pray."
"…As if they'd listen."
"Why are you here?"
"…Didn't I say I was joining the Imperial Knights as Vice-Commander?"
"Hmph, must've been drunk then."
"Don't speak so sarcastically."
"What, are you going to draw your sword again? Like last time?"
"Do you think I wouldn't?"
"Her Holiness herself sent me here, and you're going to challenge that? Since when have the Imperial Family and the Church been at odds?"
"……"
"Well, sit down. Neither you nor I are in a situation to draw swords."
Rione sighed, continued to glare at me, then pulled out a chair and sat down.
I leaned against the windowsill and took out a cigarette.
I clamped it between my lips, lit it, inhaled the smoke, then exhaled.
Thanks to the open window, the exhaled smoke billowed in the room, then was carried away by the wind and vanished outside the window.
"Do you remember what a mess you were for several years after graduating from the academy, Big Brother? And yet… here you are."
"Well, how many years has it been?"
"Back then, you'd crawl into every banquet, clinging indiscriminately to any knight with a reputation, begging them to let you join the knight order just once. Even selling the Gryan name."
As if I wouldn't remember.
I didn't particularly feel ashamed.
Because the one who should be ashamed of that would be Riehen.
"Roseline was completely fed up with you too, Big Brother, and Father, not wanting to see that, tried to send you to the battlefield to get rid of you, but then you tried to run away like a coward, even h-hanging a noose in your r-room…"
Even this much… I could listen to.
Thanks to that, I'd been dangling from the ceiling since my first day of opening my eyes in this world.
This too, it's 'Riehen' who's the idiot, not me.
Still, I finally met Arin… so inwardly, I think it's a good thing.
Even though I don't know where she went because of this fucking relative in front of me.
If she left me and went to meet someone else… wouldn't I want to kill them?
She definitely said she still liked me… so she wouldn't do such a thing, but I was uneasy. Just, for no reason at all.
"Even if the Northern Front was a place where people were sent to be disposed of… seeing that you came back alive, Big Brother, you're a Gryan, so you probably didn't do anything special, and you must have served in some safely distant rear anyway. There wouldn't have been anyone audacious enough to treat a Gryan poorly."
If only that were true, I'd have no regrets.
I wouldn't be steeped in alcohol and cigarettes after returning either.
I might have been living quite happily.
Even if I just briefly fall asleep, I always dream of those days.
My head splitting open, or me splitting open someone else's head.
When I don't have those dreams, I dream of the day Arin left me, and sometimes, the day this relative in front of me smashed my head.
"You only went to the battlefield for a mere half a year, and now you act like someone who's seen all the world's hardships. Like you've lived a full life. Half a year, just half a year. What was so significant about that to change a person so much?"
Half a year.
Was it really half a year?
Exactly, it might have been about half a year and two more weeks… but it felt like I'd been stuck there for over ten years.
Just, perceptually.
I realized I could die hundreds of times in a single day.
I also learned that there's a knack to dying.
From a certain day, I stopped counting how many more times I had died.
Because if I kept counting, I felt like I would truly go insane.
The time I started counting was… after I'd gained some skill and stopped dying more than a hundred times in a single battle.
The inside of my throat felt hot and raw.
It's ridiculous to even seriously listen to the words of a knight who only goes around hunting monsters and occasionally shows up for battles they're sure to win, but…
"…Half a year. Just, that fucking… can you really dismiss that with just the words 'half a year'?"
Rione's shoulder flinched, once.
"What do you know, when I, who came back alive from that place, I, whom enemies feared and fled from just by seeing, am treated like an idiot? Do you think being a Gryan mattered there? Do you think being a noble mattered there?"
I wish other people would understand that too.
I don't want to show anyone that I can fight well, after constantly being treated like some pathetic loser who hides his strength.
Can't they just naturally exalt me, praise me, and treat me with respect?
I am… a person who deserves such treatment.
A human who deserves to be loved and praised by countless people.
If it weren't for me, the war… the war…
When even this person called family right before me doesn't acknowledge it… who else would?
After all, the Northern Front was originally just a trash bin where useless human waste was gathered and discarded.
My voice twisted.
"If you wanted to play at being family, you should have gone to someone who would accept you as such. Why not find a suitable male prostitute and keep him by your side? I told you clearly back then, I never had a sibling like you."
"……"
"Why do you want to be by my side? Do you think I can give you that familial affection that Father never gave, that Mother, whom you killed, used to give? If so… how have you treated such a person?"
Rione no longer responded.
She neither got angry nor cried.
She simply stared at me silently.
A little time passed… and she spoke softly.
"…Are you done speaking?"
"…Yes."
"How did it come to this?"
"You and I both know. It's just… we brought it on ourselves."
"Big Brother."
"What."
"Still, you answer when I call."
"……"
"Don't you have any intention of joining a knight order? Although directly joining the Imperial Knights might be difficult."
"What nonsense are you suddenly…"
"If you beat him up with your skills, Big Brother… then you could probably get into any knight order."
"Not interested."
"But it was your lifelong dream, wasn't it?"
"Dreams are there to be woken from. And I've realized. That knight orders are no different from useless idiots gathering to boast and leech off others, like a social club."
"…Don't cross the line."
"You, who were spouting nonsense like 'just half a year,' have the audacity to talk about 'crossing the line'?"
"That's…"
"Go back. Anyway, you've confirmed I'm here, that's enough. And you've spoken well about your, that, idiot who wants to join the knight order."
I stubbed out the cigarette on the windowsill, then took out a new one, clamped it in my mouth, and lit it.
"…At least tell me where you're staying."
"What good would that do you?"
"……"
Rione clamped her lips shut and remained seated in her spot.
Regardless, I turned my back and blankly stared out the window, smoking my cigarette.
About an hour must have passed.
I heard the scraping sound of a chair being pushed back.
And the receding sound of footsteps.
However, a sound as if something lightly brushed the floor suggested she had turned back.
From the doorway, her voice came again.
"I still need to know. Where are you staying?"
"At the mansion."
"……"
Rione heard the answer, stayed silent for a moment, then let out a self-deprecating laugh and continued.
"What kind of person was Mother?"
I turned back and said quietly.
"She was a decent person. Unlike a Gryan like you."
"…Ha."
Rione's expression twisted.
Seeming angry, then sad, then an inscrutable expression again.
"Big Brother."
"……"
"If a member of the family… were to collude with the Church and try to sell out the family, then it would be the duty of the young master to stop it, wouldn't it?"
Rione's pupils narrowed.
As if she were aiming for something.
"I saw the portrait. Mother and I… we look incredibly alike."
"Outwardly, I suppose so. She wasn't the kind to have an affair."
"Tell me I'm alike, that Mother and I are no different. Then I'll just let it go."
Rione said so, and placed her hand on the hilt of her sword.
"…Tell me."
"How could a half-baked human like you possibly resemble Mother, you worm-like orphaned bitch."
"……"
Ever since I ran into Rione, I'd thought it would come to this.
She might have tried to open up and hold back, thinking of reconciliation, but I had no such intention in the first place.
On the contrary, I didn't want to get closer.
Rione drew her sword.
Very slowly.
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