WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Dionysus
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◈ The Wizard's Memoir ◈
Chapter 14: Alchemy
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Wizards were curious. Adventurers were curious too. A wizard who was also an adventurer was frighteningly curious.
Even while running for dear life, Etran couldn't resist the urge to look back.
'That's a golem...?'
It had no biological features at all.
For example, it had no head. Its abdomen, where its organs should have been, was barely more than a token addition. Its arms were long enough to drag along the floor, while its legs were so short and stumpy that they looked folded in half.
"It's coming!"
Etran gathered the Floating Discs into a barrier. They tried to deflect the blow as Olivia did with her shield, but it wasn't easy. A disc supposedly capable of supporting 1,000 pounds, roughly 450 kilograms, shattered in a single hit.
"Mommy!"
Dahlia covered their head and rolled forward. It wasn't a nice comparison, but they looked like a neatly sewn pig's bladder. Even the way they bounced through two and a half turns before springing up and running again was perfect.
Bang!
Rolf twisted halfway around in midair and fired the crossbow. It was an incredible trick shot, but all it achieved was a dent about half an inch deep in the golem's chest. Its size alone was unfair, and it was made of metal to boot. There was no stopping it.
"To the right!"
Fortunately, they were in a small corridor with a low ceiling and little space between the walls. Had they encountered it near the main entrance, a sweep of its arms would have wiped them out.
The golem's misshapen body helped too. Its legs were short for its height, and its joints had a limited range of movement, so it couldn't run quickly. Still, it was larger than a human and covered three or four of their steps in a single stride.
"That thing isn't alive! Why does it keep chasing us?!"
"It's half alive. Magical creatures are still creatures. More precisely, they copy the characteristics of living..."
"Just run! Don't make someone who's out of breath talk!"
Etran had the least stamina. At that particular moment, however, someone else tired before they did: Olivia, who was running with another person on her back.
She was a young woman made of steel in more ways than one, but she was still human.
Her weapons, armor, and the alchemist together weighed about as much as she did. There was a limit to how far she could sprint with her total weight doubled. They had to give up on escaping all the way to the mine tunnels in one go.
"Let's go in there!"
"There? Do you even know where that..."
"Just go!"
Whatever their original purpose had been, the small corridor contained several little rooms connected by side doors. Of course, some were dead ends like the room where the alchemist had hidden, making this a dangerous gamble. But there was only a fine line between an adventurer and a gambler. Without hesitation, they went all in.
"Damn it! A dead end!"
Gambling really was a bad idea.
Still, this room was deeper and wider than the last. Even when the golem punched inside, they could avoid its fist by pressing against the far wall. There was actually a fair amount of space left, but the four-foot fist seemed to stop right in front of their noses. Everyone squeezed their eyes shut.
"W-we... we're alive..."
Even as dust fell overhead and the ground shook with one thunderous impact after another, they could catch their breath.
If only for a moment.
As Etran had said, the golem was both alive and not alive. It was the worst kind of monster, one that could fixate on something but never give up. When its fist couldn't reach them, it spread its three fingers and swept them around the room. Their hearts clenched. Had its arm been just a little longer, or the room just a little smaller, their lives would have been shorter instead.
"What now?"
Everyone looked at their leader. When that yielded nothing, their eyes shifted to the wizard. But neither knowledge nor experience offered a way to defeat a golem in this situation.
"...Has it come to using halfling tactics?"
"Halfling tactics?"
"I'll go out first and act as bait. Run for the mine tunnels while I keep it busy."
Dahlia spoke with determination. The response was less than encouraging.
"What kind of tactic is that?"
"Oh, don't be ridiculous."
Having the idea dismissed as complete nonsense made Dahlia grateful and angry at the same time. They stamped their little feet.
"Who else is going to do it? Olivia has to look after the wounded one, Etran's a slow-moving wizard, and Rolf's too big to hide."
One protested that they weren't that slow, and another that they weren't that big, but Dahlia proudly ignored both complaints. Compared with a halfling, anyone was bound to be big, heavy, and clumsy. But the leader objected.
"How will we find our way without a seeker?"
"You've been through twice and still don't know the way?"
"...Most people don't learn a route after just two trips."
Just then, the alchemist, who had passed out from the pain, regained consciousness. Coughing up a mouthful of blood didn't seem like cause for celebration, but at least they were alive.
"Please put me down... for a moment..."
Olivia hastily lowered the alchemist to the floor. The golem kept attacking all the while. Whether the ceiling collapsed or a wall gave way, something terrible would happen before long. They couldn't drag this out.
Rolf reloaded the crossbow and gave the others a meaningful look. It was a signal to leave the alchemist behind if things came to the worst. Unfortunately, no one could read the soldier's resolve. And no adventurer was useless.
The alchemist took a small box from a pocket in their cloak. It was a little larger than a palm and tightly sealed. When Olivia tried to help, the alchemist firmly refused. With difficulty, they opened the lid one-handed and took out the contents: a long, narrow flask.
"This is nitric acid."
"Nitric acid? What's that?"
"...A substance that dissolves copper."
Rather than give them a crash course in alchemy, the alchemist went straight to its use. As an adventurer, they knew adventurers well.
"There isn't much. But if you use it well, it should help..."
The alchemist lost consciousness halfway through the explanation. A finger beneath the nose and a check of the pulse at the neck confirmed they weren't dead. Still, they were so weak that the party needed to get aboveground as soon as possible.
"The right leg."
"You want to aim for its leg?"
"The knee, to be precise. As you've all seen..."
Nobody had.
"...its build puts a lot of strain on its knees. They must be badly worn."
The right knee was particularly weak. Etran didn't know how effective this nitric acid would be, but that was the only place worth targeting.
"That's like putting a bell on a cat."
"We still have to do it. Shall we try human tactics?"
Olivia spoke playfully. Now that they had some hope, she could smile again. The seeker, wizard, and crossbow wielder finished their preparations.
"Let's call it adventurer tactics."
There was no need to explain what those tactics were.
@
Olivia gripped her mace and round shield tightly and took a deep breath. Then she dashed out like the wind, before anyone could gasp.
The golem thrust its fist inside again, but she slid along the floor and neatly avoided it. The fact that she ended up beneath its forearm was a minor problem.
"You monster!"
To avoid being crushed beneath a lump of metal, Olivia scrambled out of the room on all fours.
The golem swung its other arm to catch the warrior who had come running out of her own accord. Those still inside couldn't see what was happening and waited anxiously. Fortunately, a cheerful voice reached them.
"Come and catch me!"
Coming from a young woman of marriageable age, it sounded rather suggestive. The golem turned, determined to catch her and crush her. Their chance had come.
"Our turn."
The tank drew attention, and the artillery attacked. That was adventurer tactics. Rolf ran out with the crossbow tucked under one arm, and Etran followed, pulling a string of magic-circle discs along behind them.
Outside the room was a complete and utter disaster. Everything was broken, smashed, or collapsed. Had they stalled any longer, they might have been trapped inside or crushed to death.
"Over here too!"
Rolf loaded a quarrel and pulled the trigger in one smooth motion. But the monster had no weak point to speak of. The bolt bounced off with a Clang!
"Hmm...!"
Rolf slung the empty crossbow over one shoulder and fled in the opposite direction from Olivia. The golem turned a full circle on the spot. Had it possessed a head, it would have looked from side to side.
Etran emerged a moment later and sent magic circles, or rather Floating Discs bearing magic circles, flying in every direction. Unlike other wizards, who could only activate spells from fixed positions, Etran could move theirs. It was the greatest strength of Etran Griff, the genius of Storm-Seed University.
"Illuminatus!"
Surprisingly, the spell Etran had prepared wasn't Homing Arrow, Lux sagitta. Thirty-three orbs of light appeared at once, flooding the underground world with white light.
'It's working!'
For Etran, it had been a gamble. The golem had no eyes.
"Now!"
But it hadn't been a thoughtless attempt. The golem had repeatedly acted as though it could "see" things, just as it had a moment ago. Etran had bet on it having sight, even without knowing how that worked. It was a bet with a very high payout.
The tank had drawn its attention, and the artillery had dealt damage. Now it was time for the supporter to provide support. Dahlia ran through the debris with both eyes half closed.
Apparently, even magical creatures could get worked up. The golem swung its fists in every direction. But with Olivia beating her shield to the north, Rolf firing a crossbow to the south, and Etran waving the Light Orbs around wildly, it couldn't get its bearings. With a halfling's natural agility, Dahlia darted between its legs.
"Here's some medicine that's good for you!"
The lie was very halfling-like too. Dahlia threw the glass flask, striking the back of the knee precisely. They immediately saw what the alchemist's prized nitric acid could do.
Ssszzzzzz!
An enormous cloud of fumes poured from the spot where the liquid touched. Neither its color nor its smell suggested anything healthy, so everyone covered their nose and mouth.
"It's working!"
Dahlia cheered and slipped out from between the golem's legs. Noticing the little mouse, the golem lifted its left foot to stamp on them. It was a mistake born of ignorance about its own condition.
As its weight settled on the bubbling, dissolving joint, the damage rapidly worsened. Its body tilted, then crashed straight into the wall.
Etran dismissed the Light Orbs, which were now getting in the way, and began casting another spell. But the warrior was a little quicker. Olivia closed the distance with long strides and slammed her mace into its knee. Once, twice, three times... She struck hard enough to bend her mace and finally won. The golem's right leg broke off with a Snap!
"Die! Die! Just die!"
As a magical creature, the golem didn't die simply because its leg had been smashed. Its ability to fight, however, was certainly gone. Already huge and heavy, it was now too unbalanced to move properly. It swung its right hand and toppled sideways, then swung its left and folded at the waist, tangling itself up.
"We cleared it... right?"
For a monster with such a loose relationship with life, this was enough to count as a kill.
Olivia gave a firm thumbs-up as she gasped for breath. Dahlia flopped down on the floor, while Rolf sighed and released the tension on the reloaded crossbow's string. And Etran frowned.
Victory was good, and so was defeating the golem, but looking back, Etran wasn't satisfied with how they had done it. They lacked both knowledge and experience. It was the first day Etran had felt useless since receiving the title of Mage.
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