WETRIED TRANSLATIONS

The Wizard in the Poncho

[Translator – Aren]

Chapter 2 - A Sensible Young Man

The local community center sat a little ways outside of town.

Usually, the place barely had any presence outside of people filing change-of-address forms, but today it had become a gathering spot for men sitting around with blank expressions and mouths hanging open.

The sight of men in all kinds of mismatched combat uniforms slowly blinking from their seats looked less like reservists and more like full-time investors watching their life savings, their stocks, nosedive in real time.

I casually glanced around. Thanks to all the empty seats, counting heads was easy.

There were about 15 people.

The reserve unit commander was a middle-aged man with droopy eyes, and judging from the nonstop ringing phones echoing through the small auditorium, he was already losing his mind.

"Ah, yes. We have a total roster of 43, but only 15 have arrived so far. No, we called them the moment the mobilization order passed. How much faster do you expect us to move? The official declaration of martial law hasn’t even been made yet, so if you could please understand our circumstances…Yes, sir. Yes.”

And it wasn’t just the commander drowning in calls.

The guys sitting beside me were furiously hammering away at their phones hard enough to crack the screens, while one clean-cut man in horn-rimmed glasses was busy calling his family.

"Goddammit…did those northern pig bastards finally make their move?”

A narrow-eyed guy who’d looked completely checked out moments ago suddenly became possessed by the spirit of a patriotic anti-communist.

"Um, yeah. Don’t worry too much, honey. It’ll be over quickly even if the reserves get mobilized. Yeah, yeah. Love you too.”

Meanwhile, the glasses guy looked exactly like one of those soldiers in war movies, staring at a loved one’s photo while silently swearing to come home alive.

Not wanting to be left out, I posted in our group chat too.

[Are the Seoul idiots out of their minds? Since when does some fog lead to the mobilization of the reserves? Also, shouldn’t the declaration of martial law come before calling up reservists?]

There was an order to things. A hierarchy. So why the hell were they dragging ordinary civilians in before exhausting all the perfectly healthy active-duty soldiers?

A moment later, the guys from the group chat, who were also currently getting dragged into reserve duty, replied.

[Martial law was officially declared in Seoul as of 11:30 AM today.]

[Wow…]

I checked the time. It was 1:46 PM.

That meant that in roughly 2 hours, things had escalated from martial law to reserve mobilization.

The situation that hadn't felt quite real yet before was now starting to feel very real.

Up until now, hearing that strange fog was spreading through Seoul had just been of of those weird stories you sometimes hear on the internet. But this was the moment it genuinely started feeling like the country was collapsing in real time.

[What the hell are the Seoul bastards even doing over there?]

I’d just sent the message to vent somewhere when it happened.

At first, I thought nobody replied. Then a red X suddenly appeared beside the message.

The meaning of it became obvious thanks to the groans erupting around the room.

"Huh? Wait, what?”

"Yes, yes. You need to report in immediately. Martial law’s been declared in Seoul, and now there’s a mobilization order…Ah, damn it. Any admin clerks here? Can someone check the phone lines?”

Reservists stared wide-eyed at their suddenly malfunctioning phones.

The reserve commander sighed repeatedly while trying to politely call in reservists that hadn’t yet reported for duty.

As I sat there watching the chaos unfold, the horn-rimmed glasses guy who’d been acting like the protagonist of a war movie earlier slowly approached me.

"Hey. Your phone isn’t working either, right?”

"Hm?"

"Ah, I mean, if yours still worked, I was going to ask if I could make a call..."

"No. My messages stopped sending too, so I was just freaking out about that myself.”

"Ah..."

The guy with the horn-rimmed glass awkwardly returned to his seat, but I couldn’t shake this uneasy feeling creeping up my spine.

Watching the corporal sprint over at the reserve commander’s call, checking phone lines and communication equipment while sweating bullets, this suddenly didn’t feel like somebody else's problem anymore.

The corporal kept running in and out of the auditorium, and only a few minutes later, he returned with a noticeably paler face before speaking quietly to the commander.

"The community center’s phones and internet are down too, Sir.”

"What? Ah, shit…then what? We have to go door-to-door now?”

He was clearly trying to keep his voice down so the reservists wouldn’t hear, but in the half-empty auditorium, his words rang out perfectly clear anyway.

The narrow-eyed guy who’d been pursing his lips in annoyance, clicked his tongue in disbelief.

"The cell towers must’ve gone down.”

That one sentence alone triggered a wave of uneasy reactions from the reservists.

"Seriously?”

"Fuck..."

Most of the reactions amounted to variations of "fuck," but I refused to let myself get swept up in the fear and panic.

"God fucking damn it. If I’d known this was coming, I would’ve left Korea already.”

Not that I actually had the means to emigrate. Spiritually speaking, though, absolutely.

An overwhelming sense of regret washed over me.

If I’d spent all those wasted years preparing to immigrate instead of indulging myself, maybe I wouldn’t be suffering through this bullshit in my 8th year as a reservist!

Then, just as the glasses guy was desperately waiting for another chance to call his loved one, he suddenly shouted in delight.

"I-it works again! It’s back!”

I quickly checked my own phone. Sure enough, he was right.

Messages that’d been stuck suddenly started flooding into the group chat all at once.

Phones throughout the auditorium began ringing again, and without hesitation I started frantically jumping between YouTube, major portal sites, and news articles.

[Temporary Network Outage Caused by Overloaded Cell Towers. Chaos Lasted Several Minutes]

[Seoul Unrest Reaches Critical Point…Neighboring Nations Monitoring Situation Closely]

[US and China Express Unprecedented Shared Security Concerns Regarding Seoul Unrest Despite Political Tension.]

At that point, reality finally started to really sink in.

The country was visibly collapsing in real time. The endless stream of terrifying, dopamine-fueled headlines made my head spin. Then I saw the breaking news alert.

[Breaking News) Mobilization Order Declared to Suppress Seoul Unrest.]

Apparently I wasn’t the only one who saw it.

Well, everyone in the room was glued to their phones, so that made sense.

The reserve commander checking his own phone between calls, the reservists endlessly scrolling through news feeds… All of them looked like they’d simultaneously felt icy chills crawl down their spines.

You could see it in their contracted pupils and the faint trembling of teeth behind slightly parted lips.

I was no different.

-Clatter, clatter, clatter...

The greatest dance performance of my life wasn’t coming from my hips or waist but from my teeth and jaw.

The first person to move in response to the situation was the reserve commander.

"Corporal, go issue the rifles and live ammunition. Bring the field gear as well.”

"Yes, sir."

As the corporal’s footsteps faded away, an odd silence settled over the room.

The narrow-eyed guy with the pursed lip, the hopeless romantic in horn-rimmed glasses, and the reserve commander who’d been non-stop calling people. Every single reservist gathered in the auditorium, as though by unspoken agreement, shut their mouths.

Then, amidst this muted room, a broadcast suddenly rang out from someone’s device, which had its volume turned all the way up.

[Today, the Republic of Korea stands at the most dangerous crossroads since its founding… Citizens are urged to follow all government directives without exception. Even if such measures appear unreasonable, we ask for your understanding, as these emergency measures are necessary to overcome this national disaster…]

* * *

In the end, only 21 people showed up.

The reserve commander sighed repeatedly as he lined us up and ordered us to receive our gear, helmets, and rifles.

I took my own helmet, field gear, and weapon before returning to my seat and inspecting the rifle.

An M16. As a former Air Force air defense artilleryman, it was familiar enough.

Only then did I finally check the nametags of the people who’d left an impression on me.

"Those northern pig bastards.”

The narrow-eyed man with the pursed lips was former Army, Kim Myungshin.

"Huuuh, huuuh."

The bespectacled man anxiously worrying over his beloved was former Navy, Kang Daniel.

"Alright, everyone, verify your weapon serial numbers and stay calm after receiving your gear. We’re not frontline troops anyway, so we’ll most likely remain here helping maintain public order. Once we know more about the situation, we’ll organize shifts so people can rotate through three teams without completely disrupting your daily lives, so don’t panic too much. However, you must keep your uniforms and gear on you at all times.”

The droopy-eyed reserve commander desperately trying to calm everyone down was called Park Sunggun.

Beyond them sat countless other faces and names bound together under the single label of “reservists,” but honestly, none of them interested me much.

Then someone appeared who instantly seized all of my attention.

Three people wearing combat uniforms entered the auditorium carrying heavy baskets into this airless space filled to the brim with resignation, frustration, fear, and irritation.

Two of them were non-commissioned officers, as the chevron insignia on their uniforms indicated, weathered so heavily by sunlight that it was impossible to guess their age at a glance, but the third was a neatly groomed lieutenant with slightly pronounced cheekbones.

He walked up to the reserve commander and exchanged a serious conversation before setting down the basket he’d brought alongside the non-commissioned officers and turning toward the reservists.

"Ahem, nice to meet you all. I’m Lieutenant Shin Hangi. Despite the chaotic and urgent circumstances, I first want to thank every one of you reservists for responding to the mobilization order.”

The uncomfortable truth, that all of us secretly wanted to run away but lacked the courage to actually do it, was silently ignored by tacit agreement.

Anyway, after trying to lighten the mood with some warm encouragement. Lieutenant Shin began having the active-duty soldiers distribute stacks of paper from the basket.

"Uh…I know everyone here is probably wondering what exactly happened in Seoul for things to escalate to the point of mobilizing reservists. The truth is, even the military still doesn’t fully understand the situation. We can’t afford to make reckless assumptions before reaching a definitive conclusion, but I hope you at least understand the severity of this crisis.”

While Lieutenant Shin awkwardly tried to defend the military’s actions, the corporal who’d been running around nonstop all day approached me wearing only his web gear and handed me a stapled packet of papers.

I accepted the bundle consisting of only three pages with a sinking feeling in my stomach, but the moment I saw the title, I couldn’t help doubting my own eyes.

"I know exactly what everyone’s probably thinking after receiving those papers. I really do…But these guidelines were created based on testimony from soldiers and officers already deployed in Seoul, so please trust the material and read carefully. However, do not turn the page until instructed. For now, only check the first page.”

Beneath the large bold heading, dense text had been neatly printed in tiny letters. The first thing that caught my eye was the following.

[Survival and Engagement Guidelines Within Restricted Zones]

1. Avoid areas with low visibility whenever possible.

2. Under no circumstances are you to separate from your squad.

3. Assume all approaching individuals are hostile. If they continue approaching after a warning, open fire. Kill on sight.

4. Firearms are prohibited in all other situations.

5. Prioritize securing any obtainable knowledge from the field.

6. Rescue operations are prohibited. If unavoidable, isolate and quarantine the individual.

Kim Myungshin, the narrow-eyed guy who’d received the packet before me, clicked his tongue in disbelief.

"Holy shit. Are these people insane?”

Honestly, I was thinking the same thing.

"What? Are we dealing with zombies?”

Seriously. Anyone raised on modern media couldn’t help feeling an eerie sense of familiarity.

Could the so-called Seoul Unrest actually be a zombie outbreak?

Most of the other rules were understandable enough, but Rules 3 and 6 felt a little difficult for ordinary peaceful, democracy-loving civilians to swallow.

Technically, they didn’t completely contradict the principles taught in the military, but the nuance behind them felt deeply unsettling.

At that moment, Lieutenant Shin Hangi sensed the growing unease spreading among the reservists and calmly continued speaking.

"Those who’ve finished reading the engagement guidelines may turn the page. If you experience symptoms such as nausea, vomiting, dizziness, or headaches, immediately close your eyes and take deep breaths.”

-Rustle.

The well-behaved, orderly men of the Republic of Korea all turned the page at once.

The moment I saw the contents of the next page, I instinctively frowned.

The paper was filled with bizarre markings that looked like writhing worms scribbled chaotically across the page. My already questionable language skills couldn’t even determine whether it was supposed to be an actual language.

But the reaction from everyone else was far more dramatic.

"Ugh…hurk, blegh!”

Kim Myungshin, the narrow-eyed guy, was the first to claw at his throat before vomiting up stomach acid.

Several others immediately started dry-heaving after him, while the hopeless romantic Kang Daniel covered his mouth and outright threw up a little.

"Bleeegh..."

The reserve commander looked comparatively better off, but even he’d gone deathly pale and was visibly breaking out in a cold sweat.

He held the papers between two fingers like he wanted to throw them away immediately.

"Excuse me. What exactly is this?”

"Commander, calm down those showing symptoms…Sergeant Park, do we have anyone who seems unaffected?”

At Lieutenant Shin Hangi’s words, the sergeant with sunglasses clipped to his pouch turned this way.

More specifically, his eyes met mine while I sat there looking around in confusion.

"You there. Name?”

"Baek Jemin."

* * *

The counseling office inside the community center.

The moment we sat down across from each other, Lieutenant Shin Hangi pulled out a document and pen before asking with a businesslike smile,

"Baek Jemin-ssi, do you happen to be affiliated with any religion? Or have you ever been affiliated with one in the past?”

"At basic training, I attended the Buddhist, Christian, and Catholic services. Does that count?”

"Hm. An open-minded attitude toward multiple religions without prejudice…”

Lieutenant Shin Hangi scribbled something onto the document, and when I secretly peeked at it, the wording felt oddly strange.

‘Religious narrow-mindedness’ and my lack thereof. Considering the negative connotations behind the word 'narrow-mindedness,' it sounded like I’d somehow received a pretty favorable evaluation.

It made me strangely proud that my long-standing military principle, namely, 'the one giving out Choco Pies and hamburgers was my god,' was finally paying off nearly 9 years later.

Truly, having principles is incredibly important in this life.

"You’ve never been told by a shaman or spiritual medium that you possess spiritual sensitivity or anything like that? Never undergone a possession ritual or something?”

"No."

"What about…folk shamans or fortune tellers? Have you ever been evaluated as spiritually gifted or anything similar?”

"Ah. One fortune teller told me my yang energy was so strong that ghosts would never come near me, so I didn’t need to come back.”

"Oh."

That reminded me of how someone once said ancestral spirits supposedly needed extra time to approach whenever our family held memorial rites.

Granted, our family was such a spectacularly neglectful bunch that we hadn’t properly prepared ancestral rites in over a decade, but according to the one shaman we’d visited, our ancestors supposedly got blown away by my overwhelming yang energy the moment they tried approaching.

Lieutenant Shin continued asking all kinds of increasingly bizarre personal questions before eventually looking at me with a deeply serious expression.

"Baek Jemin-ssi. We’d like you to learn magic.”

"What?"

In that instant, countless questions flashed through my head.

Why? Magic? For what? Wait, magic was actually real? And why the hell would the military be teaching magic to reservists?

After those thoughts spiraled together, only one answer remained.

"Me?”

"Yes. At present, most people in the military who aren’t showing severe psychological backlash reactions are…”

"Why me?”

"That’s because, based on the information we've gathered so far..."

"Me?”

"You, Baek Jemin-ssi, appear to be the most suitable..."

"Why?”

Lieutenant Shin Hangi stared at me with cold, exhausted eyes.

But I wasn’t about to back down so easily either.

28 years of life. 8 years as a reservist.

I was the kind of man who willingly joined the Air Force air-defense artillery just to coast through military service comfortably and happily served three extra months over the Army guys because I figured I’d get more vacation days out of it.

And that wasn’t all. Every fiber of my rationality… of Baek Jemin, the master of taking it easy, and survival instinct was screaming at me right now. I was even the kind of guy who, even when throwing away trash, split it into three or four trips because carrying everything at once would be too heavy.

Magic or no magic…

If I learned this kind of thing from the military reserves, my life would be fucked.

"Sir."

Go ahead. Say whatever you want. There was no way I was getting persuaded.

Military people always said the same things in situations like this.

The country’s in danger. A mobilization order has already been issued… Now's not the time to think only about yourself. Stuff like that.

"Once you’re capable of using magic, we’ll exempt you from overnight guard duty considering the workload involved.”

"I always loved Harry Potter.”

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