WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: Hydrogen B

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Chapter 73: 12. Academy Festival Common Sense (3)

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* * *

"Do not mourn those who departed before you."

"Your Majesty."

"I too, and someday you as well, will stand among their ranks."

"Your Majesty, please."

"I was a hypocrite all my life, so you too must live as one. When enough lies gather, might they not one day reach the truth? Live. Live on, and inherit my hypocrisy. Will you promise me?"

"Yes, Your Majesty. I swear it. I will certainly do so."

"That is enough."

Ivan took a moment to steady his breathing before opening his eyes. Sunlight streamed in. He pushed himself up from the sofa and rubbed his face, trying to calm his raging emotions.

The usual nightmare. The usual day. Even the familiar ceiling, disappointingly, was the same as always.

Ivan calmly tidied up the area around him, straightened his appearance, got dressed, and left the director's office.

It was the morning of the festival.

* * *

The main gate into Saint Yansk University was packed with people. Street vendors, local sightseers, foreign tourists, excited students, and the students' acquaintances.

Only four years had passed since the war ended, and this was one of the few international-scale festivals in a country that had hardly had any festivals at all. It was no wonder the citizens were excited.

Ivan crossed through the crowd while scanning his surroundings. Even amid that dense mass of people, he passed through without brushing against so much as a single sleeve.

It was a basic movement technique, nothing particularly difficult. Before long, Ivan reached the plaza where the Great King's statue stood, in the middle of the bustling festival grounds.

Three people were passing the time by checking the clock, looking around at the sights, or simply staring blankly ahead.

The meeting time was still twenty minutes away.

Ivan tilted his head slightly. He had come early to identify possible threats, but he had not expected the people under his protection to arrive so soon.

These delinquents were habitually late even to classes that started at the same time every week, yet today they were being so diligent. Had they finally grown up?

Either way, it was not a bad thing. His escort assignment already seemed as though it would be easier than expected.

"Hey, mister! You came!"

Isabelle waved wildly and ran over. She came trotting up with a bright smile, then naturally grabbed his arm and pulled him along.

Her outfit was tight enough to look needlessly difficult to move in. It was not clothing Ivan could give a passing grade to for a Knight Department student. It looked like something one would wear only on a very special day in perpetually mild Tilles.

"Wait, you came in work clothes again? Ugh, even if you're a secret agent, don't public servants in this country get any vacation? They make you work even on a day like this?"

"Vacation?"

"Yes! Seriously, this country must be crazy. What, do they try to stop public servants from getting ma, ma, married too?"

"They do not."

Krasilov had in fact consistently promoted marriage and childbirth. The nation had been badly damaged by the last war.

Ivan did not understand why she had suddenly brought up marriage, but there was no reason to leave a foreigner with that misconception. He shook his head briefly.

"Is there anything you want to do, mister? I looked around a little on my way here, and there was something over there that would suit you perfectly..."

"Isabelle?"

While Isabelle chattered away, Aesidis, who had been absentmindedly watching the crowd in front of the statue, walked over with light steps.

"What are you doing with Uncle?"

"Hm?"

"Oh, you were talking for a moment. You said you were learning various things from Uncle, right? Well, if you're done, could I borrow Uncle for a little while?"

"...Hm?"

"Hm?"

As the two stared blankly at one another, someone else approached.

"Lord Petrovich, you arrived early. Such faithfulness, beyond anything one would expect of a human, should be an example to everyone. I have not been waiting long either, so please do not worry too much."

"Hm?"

"Umm...?"

Two humans and one elf. The three stared at one another again in silence for a moment.

"Sorry, girls, but I came out today because I had plans with Mister here."

"I have no idea what you're talking about. Uncle said he had no plans today. Ah, I know this. It's Tilles-style rhetoric, isn't it? Insist on it first, something like that."

"Humans are always astonishing. Discrimination comes so naturally to you that I cannot even call you uncivilized anymore. Mr. Ivan, humans are contagious. Come this way."

"He's human too, you know?"

"Is confusing a chicken with a phoenix because they are both birds not something only humans do? Their scientific names are different."

"Their scientific names are the same...?"

Ivan looked around while they argued. Plenty of people were watching them, but the crowd's armament situation was acceptable.

The hot weather had made everyone's clothing lighter, so even if someone tried to conceal a weapon, there was little they could hide. At most, a dagger or handgun. He could notice that much just by observing how someone walked.

Even if there were a more covert attack, weapons that were easy to conceal tended to be weak. Ivan felt relieved, thinking this assignment would be far easier than he had first expected.

'They are competent this time.'

He had heard that the Counterintelligence Command was stationed nearby and controlling access. Fortunately, they seemed to be doing their job well this time.

Still, it was too soon to relax. An academy festival was an event that marked the beginning of murder cases, terrorist attacks, ambushes, massacres, and large-scale invasions by demonfolk.

Ivan kept the throwing knives hidden in his sleeves and the handgun tucked behind his waist in mind, making sure he was fully prepared.

Most of the time, nothing went wrong if one acted sensibly. This was why common sense was important.

Sadly, unable to read Ivan's thoughts, the other three cried out at this unreasonable situation.

* * *

"Mister, have you seriously lost your mind? Tell me. What on earth were you thinking... No, forget it. Don't tell me. I think my insides will burst if I hear it."

"Hm."

"Aaaah!!"

Isabelle pounded her chest and screamed. After squawking for a while, she finally let out a deep sigh and muttered.

"Right, it was my fault for expecting anything in the first place. This is all on me. Yes. I'm a terrible person. I should've tried teaching love to a golem instead. At least that would have had a chance."

Isabelle looked at Ivan with sorrowful eyes, shook her head, and looked away.

"So, does anyone know what the FIFO principle is? In a situation like this, I think a first-come, first-served concept should apply."

"Is that how things work in Tilles? Umm, in Droan, people usually settle it with strength. Foreign cultures are so difficult. Shall we take this opportunity to have a little cultural exchange?"

"If we settle it with strength... are you confident?"

"Oh, Isabelle. It is not that I failed to enter the Knight Department. I chose not to. Unlike you, I have talent for instruments too. Someone told me to learn one."

Aesidis said that, then looked at Ivan with warm eyes.

Ivan was a reasonable man, so he had no intention of involving himself in university students' pointless dispute. His assignment was to protect the children of the Hero Party from outside enemies, not mediate an emotional quarrel with no apparent cause.

Students that age usually became friends by fighting with one another anyway.

"Such human-like remarks. How adorable. Now then, Lord Petrovich, shall we go look around over there?"

"Wow, this elf just keeps elfing. Should I really draw my sword? Dad, forgive me. Today, instead of demonfolk, my sword will be stained with human blood!!"

"My goodness, you came to a festival with a sword at your hip? This is why Tilles people are so sly."

"Open your instrument case. I heard you went around smashing our children's heads with that violin of yours!!"

"Umm, Aesidis the Sincere does not know anything about that. Our Kkangkkang is not a weapon."

This was somewhat chaotic.

Ivan considered blocking out his hearing. The campus was already noisy enough with festival crowds, so his hearing was not especially useful right now.

"Girls, why don't we decide an order instead? I go first, Aesidis in the afternoon, the elf until evening, then me again at night. How does that sound?"

"Shall we settle it cleanly with a duel?"

"This is official business, so would the civilians kindly step aside?"

This was difficult to overlook.

Ivan shook his head briefly. Why would they scatter the people he had worked so hard to gather together?

People in this world really were so unreasonable.

"Everyone will move together."

"...Mister, are you really insane?"

"Uh... Uncle, even I think that is a little..."

He was already well accustomed to sorting out squawking children. This situation was not much different from his young charges during class.

With all the decisiveness and dignity of a director, Ivan declared,

"Everyone line up. If we take care of every suggestion fairly, one at a time, there will be no reason to fight. Isabelle, you lead the way."

"This cannot be reality..."

Isabelle stared at Ivan with a confused expression, looked up at the sky, then lowered her head and rubbed her face again.

"Move."

"This is driving me crazy. Why is he so confident? Does he seriously think he can flirt with three girls ten or fifteen years younger than him at once? What a shameless..."

Isabelle grumbled as she took the lead.

* * *

When one thought of university festivals, taverns were the only thing that came to mind, but that was because of the narrow culture of twenty-first-century Korea.

This was different, since the festival had developed into a local event under the excuse of being a university festival. The event was a strange mixture of an apartment complex bazaar and a small-business promotion festival, with every imaginable thing one might expect at a festival.

Like the place Isabelle had led them to.

-Bang!!

"Oh, so close! You hit four targets, so here, have a doll!"

It was a handgun shooting booth where people shot at small targets.

Surprisingly, it used live ammunition, but it was not particularly strange. This was a world that did not even have the concept of air rifles, and guns were looked down on because they could not take down superhumans.

Besides, if someone pointed one of those guns at civilians, the stall owner could stop them the instant they turned the muzzle. The stall owner was also a superhuman.

A superhuman beyond the owner's ability to stop could commit a massacre without firing a gun in the first place. There would be no need to carry such a noisy, attention-grabbing weapon.

Therefore, despite using live ammunition, this booth was safer than any other street stall. Food poisoning was rampant in this world because it had no food safety regulations, but Counterintelligence Command agents were responsible for firearm safety at the festival grounds.

"Let's try that."

Isabelle smiled brightly and ran over. She knew Ivan handled handguns well, but she wanted to use this opportunity to show him how much she had practiced as well.

Showing her earnest efforts to a shooting expert was already a major advantage. It was something Aesidis and Elphihara could not even dream of doing. Had either of them ever even held a handgun?

Securing another chance to pull ahead naturally under the pretext of looking around the festival, that was the kind of move only a terrifying political monster with ten years in the Tilles court could pull off.

"Uh, senior?"

"Hm?"

"Why are you... Uh, are you going to do this?"

The shooting booth owner was looking at Ivan with an embarrassed expression.

"What are you doing here?"

"As you can see... Um. Undercover duty...?"

"Excellent."

Dmitry hesitantly handed Ivan a handgun.

Of course, undercover duty. With loaded handguns everywhere, it would be easy to respond to an emergency, and even if he carried a handgun, everyone around him would simply think he was an ordinary festival stall owner. It was natural, too.

Competent.

Ivan nodded with satisfaction.

Perhaps the festival really could end without incident. Remarkably enough, for an academy festival.

Then again, this was not a world with bizarre events like interdepartmental duels. There were no incomprehensible friendly competitions that forced elementary students into a race to steal dragon eggs.

Perhaps festival terrorism, one of the academy's pieces of “common sense,” was meant as a warning against dangerous events like those. Perhaps it was meant to spread the lesson that educational institutions should not gamble with students' lives.

That would be nice. There had to be wholesome festivals like this too.

Ivan was able to relax a little.

He should not have.

It was “common sense” that academy events always ended in massive explosions.

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Footnotes:

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