WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: Haruto

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◈ A Gacha Addict's Life in Fusionpunk ◈

Chapter 14: I'm an Experienced Hire (3)

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1.

The Old World Shopping Mall offered more pulls at 5 pt each.

The Joker Random Box cost 30 pt a pull, but promised greater possibilities.

After careful consideration, I chose the Joker.

《Joker Random Box》

- One Draw: 30 pt

- A consumable item that can become a powerful variable.

- Get your hands on the one card that will shake fate itself.

Modern goods definitely offered useful conveniences.

If it had been a modest sum, I might have considered selling them to raise the money.

But I needed an inhuman sum: Universal Coins plus 500,000 Bios.

Even a Rolex wouldn't cut it.

Even if I pulled a Patek Philippe, I doubted I could sell it for what it was worth.

What I needed now was a single card that could shake fate.

"All right."

I didn't want to leave the patient outside for too long, so I went home first.

After laying Arbel on the bed, I reverently got down on my knees.

If I could, I would've cleansed myself and fasted first.

I could make four pulls at most.

It wasn't as though I had no hesitation.

A vague fear stood in my way.

What if this goes completely to shit?

At that moment, I remembered my favorite philosopher, Nietzsche.

He said:

"Was that life? Very well! Then once more!"

Those were words that had always given me courage when facing a choice.

"Uh, I'll just regress~"

Gacha was a man's pleasure, granted only to those who could enjoy even the ruin it brought.

I gladly stepped onto a true battlefield where weak cowards had no place.

"One pull. Go."

[Points Used: 132 pt => 102 pt]

Doo-dung-tak, doo-dung-tak, dung-tak!

Cheerful music played, and the clown in the UI suddenly began to dance.

It rang a trumpet, blew a ridiculous horn, and scattered fluttering confetti in every color.

My heart pounded.

I'd never seen an effect like this before.

The clown laughed wildly as it tossed down a box.

A fierce red light leaked from within.

Red.

The sign of an SR.

"Yes! That's what I wanted!"

I clenched my fist and jumped to my feet.

Maybe I'd been too loud. Arbel frowned and made an adorable little "Mmmgh..."

But an SR rank didn't guarantee it would be useful.

I wet my dry lips with my tongue.

Please, not some bait item like "Sturdy Stomach." Give me something that will actually help.

Someone is going to die here!!!

"Hngh...!"

When I pressed the box.

Fweeeew! Pop! Pop! Pop!

An old scripture, the sort you might see at the National Museum of Korea, burst out amid red fireworks.

Its appearance didn't matter.

The effect was what mattered.

I could only pray that it would be the move that got me through this crisis.

「Copy of the Wondrous Dharma Insect-Sound Sutra」[1]

- Rank: SR

- Description: A copy of a scripture containing the teachings of wondrous insect sounds.

- Effect: Summons servants of an Outer God for five minutes.

- Note: It does not distinguish friend from foe. Single-use.

"How wondrouuuuus..."

This was really... something.

At a glance, it was a Joker meant for causing chaos.

I didn't know what an Outer God was, but since it was Super Rare, it would probably dispatch something strong.

In a way, it suited the purpose of a Joker perfectly, but...

The note saying it didn't distinguish friend from foe bothered me a lot.

"How am I supposed to make money with this?"

The first thing that came to mind was...

Letting it loose in Ceres's house, then taking the money from the safe.

Even from the brief glimpse I'd gotten, the thick safe behind the painting had been stuffed with every kind of valuable.

If I took it all, not just three generations but thirty could live in luxury.

Getting revenge for my last run would feel satisfying too, so it was tempting, but...

"That's too insane."

Thinking rationally, it was still an impossible move.

There was no guarantee that the servant summoned by the Wondrous Dharma Insect-Sound Sutra could beat Ceres. Even if it did beat Ceres, there was another problem.

After a monster that ate mages finished its meal, I would be dessert.

Fighting was obviously out of the question.

I had Laplace's Eye and a revolver, but this world was far too vicious.

Even the real John Wick would last only three hours after being excommunicated from this world.

And trying to open the safe amid the chaos and profit from the fight was out too.

I had no way to open a safe that looked thick enough to withstand a nuclear blast.

Maybe it had been a mistake to think I could make quick money with a Joker.

Maybe abandoning Arbel really was the wiser choice.

"Mom..."

Had my brainwaves triggered Arbel's survival instinct?

Sleep-talking slipped from Arbel's lips.

To me, it sounded like, "Cedric, why did you sell my corpse...?"

"Okay, okay. I get it."

Once this run ended, neither of us would owe the other anything.

[Points Used: 102 pt => 72 pt]

This time, the effect was boring.

Sure enough, white. A Common-rank Joker.

「Dying Message from the Future」

- Rank: C

- Description: Receive a letter from your future self. It is not a love letter.

- Effect: Upon death, receive a hint of no more than five characters about the cause of death in the previous run.

- Note: Activates automatically upon restarting a run. Single-use.

My philtrum scrunched up.

My future self?

Who was that future me supposed to be? Was this a deterministic universe?

That was the kind of universe I hated most.

Did it mean every hand was already decided before I even stepped into the casino?

And I wasn't sure the effect was good, either.

A hint about the cause of death didn't sound bad, but what was I supposed to do with five characters?

It could just say, "FUKD!" and that would be all.

"Phew."

Didn't I decide I wouldn't get disappointed by every little thing anymore?

Let's just shake it off and move on.

"One more pull."

[Points Used: 72 pt => 42 pt]

The third gacha effect wasn't bad.

This box was blue. Rare rank.

「Misfortune-Warding Talisman」

- Rank: R

- Description: A talisman that prevents curses.

- Effect: Prevents death penalties. Penalties already imposed will not disappear.

- Note: Activates automatically upon restarting a run. Remaining uses: 5.

"Oh?"

This wasn't bad.

In my experience, death penalties could be a major variable.

If I hadn't had [Belated Response], which left me unable to act for twenty-four hours after regressing, I never would've ended up in Necropolis.

I would've had plenty of time to go back to the casino, pull 200 million Bios, and escape.

It was disappointing that already imposed penalties wouldn't disappear, but this Joker was worth its rank.

"...But why do I feel weird about this?"

Two of the three items were basically life insurance.

None of them helped my current situation.

Was it just my imagination, or did this feel like a rite meant to let me die comfortably this run?

I only had 42 pt left.

One final pull.

One decisive gamble.

I threw my last die with my fate on the line.

Now it was time to leave everything to God.

Doo-dung-tak! Doo-dung-tak! Ba-bam! Ba-ba-bam!

Cheerful music played as the clown danced ridiculously to the rhythm.

Confetti swirled through the air.

"It's here, it's here, it's here!"

A red light brighter than a freshly picked pomegranate! Super Rare! Another one!

Two SRs in four pulls?

This was way more generous than I expected.

"Arbel, I'll definitely put you in a reverse bunny suit!"

Filled with grim determination, I touched the faintly red box.

Pop.

The UI went completely black, as if I had pressed the power switch on an old brown TV.

"What?"

The giddy sounds were gone. So was the clown's twitching ass.

The status window froze without responding to any interaction.

All that remained was silence. Stillness. Darkness.

"Hey, hey, what's wrong with this thing?"

My status window gets confiscated now? Are you kidding me?

Then...

Yee-haw! Hahahahaha!

The clown's laughter echoed from every direction.

It was free-spirited, full of madness, and arrogantly unrestrained by anyone.

At the moment that laughter reached its peak and abruptly stopped.

Crack.

A hairline fracture appeared in the black screen that filled my vision.

Craaaack.

More fractures spread, like shattering glass.

The dazzling light visible through those cracks was something humanity had longed for since ancient times.

The golden glow that had symbolized wealth, the purest and most primal desire, in every age and every land since civilization began.

Craaaaaaack!

Like a collapsing crevasse, the black screen covering the UI shattered apart with a roar.

[ 7 7 7 ]

[ JACKPOT!!!! ]

[ CONGRATULATION!!!! ]

The condensed light became a storm that swept through the room, turning everything gold.

At the eye of that storm.

SUPER

One at a time.

SUPER

Rising.

RARE.

Blazing golden words.

[ SUPER SUPER RARE!!!!! ]

"Yee-haw!!!!!!!!"

Holy shit, this was incredible!!!!

Whoever designed this knew exactly what they were doing!!!!! It even had 4D support!!!!!

"Ah."

I felt dizzy. My nose was bleeding.

It had been a long time since I'd felt such ecstatic excitement.

After my eyes rolled back in ecstasy and I soaked in the wine of victory for a while, I checked the item.

After guzzling a whole reservoir of premature celebration, was it really going to give me something shitty again?

"Claim it! Hand it over already!"

My first SSR-ranked item.

Thud!

What fell with a heavy sound was a massive leather sack nearly as large as my upper body.

「The Sack God Spilled」

- Rank: SSR

- Description: Just try opening it once.

That was the entire description.

There was no effect or note.

The corners of my mouth kept twitching upward.

"What are you giving me that has me this excited!"

I grinned as I tried to lift the sack, then gave up.

It was far too heavy for me to lift.

"Why is it so heavy?"

I untied the leather knot sealing the sack and opened it...

"......"

I was overwhelmed.

The sack overflowed with gold coins that shone no less brilliantly than the SSR effect.

"How many are there...?"

How many could possibly be inside?

Considering the size of the sack, a thousand? Ten thousand? No, surely not ten thousand?

I reached in and took out a single gold coin.

"No, fuck..."

Only then did I realize.

These gold coins were not ordinary coins.

The coin slipped from my hand, spinning as it scattered mysteriously glowing dust.

"Are these all Universal Coins?"

They were.

Every coin piled haphazardly inside was a Universal Coin.

Then how many Bios was this worth?

Would releasing all of this into Necropolis cause hyperinflation?

No, probably not.

Megacorps like Twilight Resource Development and Overnus Pharmaceuticals would suck it all up, while ordinary people continued to suffer in a world of low wages and high prices.

This unreal luck was making my head spin.

A Joker could do this much?!

"I'm glad I came to another world."

I was really glad I jumped down into that parking space!

With this many Universal Coins, I could do anything.

"Arbel, let's go."

I wrapped Arbel up in the bundle again.

I was going to Isis right now and have Arbel treated.

It didn't matter if it was three in the morning.

I'd kick the door until the owner came out, shouting, "Owner, come out!"

Who was I?

The great J. Gatsby of Necropolis.

"What's going on?"

"I brought the money. Keep the change."

"Oh my! Two whole Universal Coins? I'll treat Arbel right away!"

"Ahem, seeing Doctor Sis has suddenly made another part of me feel strange too..."

"My shop is rather expensive..."

.

(omitted)

.

"Hyaah! Why are the medical bills so expensive!"

"Aaah! Next time you come... I'll waive the examination fee!"

I could do that too!

The sack wouldn't fit into my inventory, so I tucked four Universal Coins into my clothes and stepped out into the night.

Even the acrid pre-dawn air that sickened the lungs no longer bothered me.

It was actually pleasant.

"Arbel, hang on a little longer. We'll get out of this shitty place and go to a resort."

On a white-sand beach where white sand broke apart in the foam, Arbel would wear a reverse bunny suit for me, while I piled money in a casino and built champagne towers, living the young-and-super-rich life.

"Ah, that life will surely be dazzlingly beautiful..."

I was lost in fantasy as I walked through the shady underground passage leading to Aquarium Street.

A stale smell of mold.

Mournful mud smeared over broken tiles because no proper cleaning was ever done.

The silence held only the hum of mercury lamps and my footsteps.

Then I heard a sound I should not have heard.

Tak.

Every mercury lamp in the passage went out at once.

Dim darkness.

Tak.

Backlit by the faint glow entering from both ends of the passage, a figure slowly rounded the corner.

Tak.

The distinctive footsteps stopped.

Goldfish embroidered on black silk and the sheath of the Japanese sword at their waist reflected an eerie light in the darkness.

"Hello?"

That couldn't be.

"Ah... fuck..."

How could that be?

I hadn't even met Ceres, the infiltrator, in this run.

And yet my beautiful death had found me earlier than in the last run.

"You're Cedric Montraven, right?"

Beneath the shadow of an extravagant felt hat.

Violet eyes emitting a bewitching light curled into a smile.

Footnotes:

[1] Wondrous Dharma Insect-Sound Sutra: Its Korean title parodies the Lotus Sutra by replacing "lotus flower" with "insect sounds," making it a mock Buddhist scripture.

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