WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Haruto
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ A Gacha Addict's Life in Fusionpunk ◈
Chapter 19: Mushroom Factory (2)
──────
1.
At least one rule applies in every rift.
The rule of the Mushroom Factory is, “People are mushrooms.”
That might not mean much on its own, but it’s simple.
Anyone who stays in this rift for at least twenty-four hours, or dies inside it, becomes a cute mushroom fairy and suffers the punishment of singing, “Mm... mm...”
That’s why people usually find the randomly generated exit inside the rift first, then start hunting nearby.
“But can Fairy Meat really be supplied steadily from just that?”
“What do you mean?”
“You said Fairy Meat is one of Necropolis’s staple foods.”
“That’s right.”
“I can’t imagine many people staying here for twenty-four hours.... Won’t they go extinct if people keep hunting them?”
“Ah, you’re worrying over nothing. It’s fine. Overnus Pharmaceuticals regularly throws in test subjects who are half crippled.”
“Wow.”
Necropolis really was something else.
It always surpassed my limited imagination.
As we searched while I listened to all sorts of explanations about the setting, we found an emergency-exit sign.
“Here it is, boss! We found it in just an hour.”
“As expected of you, boss!”
“Looks like we got lucky.”
Beside the emergency-exit sign stood a large door and a button, like a freight elevator.
It really was an elevator that could go anywhere.
Anyway.
We’d secured an exit, so we memorized its location and began hunting in earnest.
But first, a double check.
“Are you sure other fixers won’t come running when they hear gunshots?”
The mushroom fairies couldn’t hear, but that was what worried me most.
In Necropolis, you could fire your gun as much as you liked without causing a problem. Nobody filed complaints.
As long as you didn’t make too much of a mess and cost a corporation money, offend someone important, usually a mage, or mess with the wrong person and get a kill order placed on you, it was fine.
But inside a rift?
Anyone entering a rift was basically a fixer.
And if fixers met other fixers in a rift, both loaded down with loot?
The only ending I could imagine was a hellish Mak'gora, just you and me.
You die if you lose? Why be scared of that?
You just had to win.
Except there was a serious problem with that.
If the other side was a Grade 6 or Grade 5 fixer, I’d have no choice but to summon Mahoraga with the Wondrous Dharma Insect-Sound Sutra.
“High-grade fixers don’t come to places like this. There’s nothing to gain from dealing with small fry like us.”
Akitt dismissed my concern.
“Besides, these rifts are huge. The odds of our drop locations overlapping are low. And even if we do meet someone, any decent fixer can be killed with that artifact of yours, boss.”
“Fine, Akitt. I’ll trust you.”
“If you’re that scared, why did you suggest coming into a rift? We’re scared shitless too.”
“I’m not scared, punk. I’m being careful.”
With Laplace’s Eye helping me, I aimed straight at a mushroom fairy’s cap.
Bang!
The fierce recoil sent the barrel soaring upward.
And it had firepower that was hard to believe came from a handgun.
It was meant to take down rhinos and bears in one shot.
The cap of the mushroom fairy shambling toward us flew off like a ripped-off wig, leaving a huge hole in its forehead.
Mm... mmm...
There was no spray of brain matter.
Instead, it just bled red, translucent blood and collapsed.
“Slow. Even when falling over.”
::: Challenges :::
- Hunt a mushroom fairy. +1 pt
I immediately completed another Challenge.
The headshot must have impressed them, because Akitt and Areng gaped and made a huge fuss.
“That artifact is seriously amazing, boss.”
“Can I fire it just once?”
“Obviously not, you bastards.”
After hunting, we had to collect the loot.
Once we’d killed the mushroom fairy, we started gathering Placer Gold.
That wasn’t difficult either.
“This is a collection device. Just get close, and it’ll suck it up on its own.”
“I’ll try it.”
It really was simple.
When I approached the corpse with the collection device Akitt had handed me, gold dust with a texture like the particles floating around Universal Coins was sucked into the transparent cylinder as its gears spun.
Whirr, whirr, whirr.
::: Challenges :::
- Gather Placer Gold. +1 pt
Another Challenge, immediately completed.
I blinked.
It was this easy?
Easy enough to make me regret not doing it sooner.
Thanks to Hero, it was far easier and safer than I’d expected. My point grinding was going smoothly too.
Even the Bios earnings weren’t bad.
“You have to! Tie them! Tight! To load more!”
The mushroom fairy corpses Areng was stacking on the sled would fetch a good 5,000 Bios each.
Selling the extracted Placer Gold would bring in a separate profit of a few hundred Bios per fairy as well.
In other words, catching just ten would earn us 50,000 to 60,000 Bios. It was a sweet-ass part-time job.
The journey stayed easy after that.
Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang! Bang!
It barely counted as hunting.
We wandered around like we were taking a stroll. Whenever we found a mushroom fairy, I aimed between its eyes and fired.
Every fight ended within three seconds. Most of our time went into finding the mushroom fairies.
Seven hours after entering the Mushroom Factory.
By the time we’d killed ten mushroom fairies, Akitt and Areng were grinning from ear to ear.
“With you here, boss, the Mushroom Factory isn’t scary at all.”
“The sled’s already full. Shouldn’t we empty it once?”
But while their smiles grew brighter, my expression had gradually hardened into something serious.
“What’s wrong?”
At first, it had been great.
But as time passed, I realized something.
This dungeon’s farming efficiency was worse than I’d expected.
Of course, compared to doing back-channel jobs in my previous run, the efficiency was absurdly better.
If we emptied the sled, came back in, and made two runs a day....
My share would come to around 400,000 Bios a week.
In my last run, I barely earned around 230,000 Bios by working three jobs a day. This was a little less than twice as much.
But there was a crucial problem.
Refilling a box of twenty Magnum cartridges cost 1 pt.
Thanks to Hero, I was hunting very, very easily without any risk....
But bullets weren’t free.
“These Challenges are stingier than I thought....”
I got a point for killing the first fairy, and a point for gathering Placer Gold for the first time. That was it.
At this rate, what I was doing was essentially converting points into cash.
My goal of bagging two Arbels with one stone, grinding Challenges while making money, was slipping away.
I could keep doing this for a month or two....
But could I keep it up until I gathered 12.5 million Bios?
Especially when keeping Arbel alive would cost 200,000 Bios every week?
“This is getting complicated....”
Maybe I needed to consider a different way to play.
“Boss? We should empty the sled....”
“Yeah, let’s go.”
Just as we were about to hand over ten mushroom fairy corpses to a broker and empty the sled, Areng, who was dragging the sled along, called me over.
“Oh, lucky! Boss, look at this!”
“Boss is thinking.”
“No, you really need to see this!”
“What is it?”
I walked over and looked at what Areng was pointing at.
Inside a huge furnace large enough to hold five hundred Arbels, blue-glowing moss glittered like a galaxy.
It was an unreal, dreamlike sight.
“Oh, does this make money?”
“Probably not?”
“...? Then why did you call me over?”
“...? Isn’t it pretty?”
My eyes went triangular.
Oh, so my foul mood was rising after all.
I was considering how to put this immature brat in his place when...
Ding!
::: Challenges (NEW!) :::
- Discover the hidden “Glowing Moss Colony.” +1 pt
“Wow, it really is pretty! Areng! I’d say you’ve got quite the eye for beauty!”
“Right? If I’d been born in Aden, I would’ve been a painter.”
“Yeah, yeah. Starting points are important. If I’d made better Choices early on, I might’ve built myself a harem at the Academy.”
“Pwahahaha! You’re hilarious, boss!”
Yes! This was what I’d been hoping for.
This was the kind of free Challenge point I wanted!
Wouldn’t it be great if every Challenge were this easy?
Wait.
“...A free meal? Eat it raw... eat it...?”
At that moment.
It felt as if lightning struck my frontal lobe.
“Bwahaha!”
“Boss?”
“Bwahahaha! Bwahahahahaha!!!!”
Sometimes, I shared the same concerns as the philosopher I admired, Nietzsche.
Ah, why was I so smart? Why was I so clever?
Now, let’s think about it.
What were Challenges?
They rewarded actions worth commemorating, actions that people rarely did, actions that were difficult, risky, or even disadvantageous.
For example, completing the Challenge “Obtain a Universal Coin” gave you 1 pt.
But “Kiss your sister” gave you a whopping 10 pt.
Someone as wise as me could understand the implication.
Remember this.
The rules of the genre.
Half of all Challenges were pointless bullshit.
And the rarer the pointless bullshit, the more valuable it was.
“Uh? Boss, if you touch that with your hands...!”
I plucked one of the colorful mushrooms growing throughout the Mushroom Factory.
A picture-perfect poisonous mushroom with a red cap and white spots, the kind Super Mario would go crazy for.
“Hup...”
I ate it in one bite.
“B-Boss?!”
“What are you doing?! That’s a poisonous mushroom!”
A tingling numbness spread through my mouth. The texture and smell were nauseating, like chewing rotten cardboard.
An unpleasant bitterness filled my mouth, and every swallow made my throat feel as though it were burning.
I gagged as my diaphragm clenched, and my whole body grew hot.
Every cell in my body was screaming, What are you doing?! Spit it out already, idiot!!!!
“Gulp...!”
Ignoring every signal, I swallowed.
“No way! He ate a poisonous mushroom!”
“His facial muscles are going to twist, and then he’ll bleed from all seven orifices and die!”
Akitt and Areng clutched their heads and screamed like Guan Yu.
“Whew....”
But I was fine.
For a moment, I thought I might throw up, but my body quickly returned to normal.
“So this is what poisonous mushrooms taste like....”
This was the effect of Sturdy Stomach.
- You gain digestion as tough as steel. You will not suffer ill effects no matter what you eat.
And “no matter what you eat” naturally included poisonous mushrooms that would make you foam at the mouth and die after one bite, didn’t it?
And then....
::: Challenges (NEW!) :::
- Consume a Spotty-Wotty Poison Mushroom. +1 pt
Yes, this was it!!!
Special deaths in games were obviously Challenges!
“A-Are you okay?”
“Guys, just wait a bit.”
Before me were mushrooms filling the Mushroom Factory.
Smooth white mushrooms like human skulls, mushrooms dripping purple spores, fluorescent mushrooms glowing as they oozed sticky slime.
Until now, I’d treated them as part of the background or as annoying obstacles. But now, they looked as beautiful as a well-made carpet.
Ah, yes.
Because this was the red carpet that would lead me to free Challenge points.
I unfastened my belt.
“Hehehe... come here!”
I’d pick and eat every last one of you!
======
::: Challenges (NEW!) :::
- Consume a Matsutake Mimic Mushroom. +1 pt
- Consume a Clown Mushroom. +1 pt
- Consume a Hallucinogenic Mushroom and experience intense hallucinations. +1 pt
- Consume a Poison Scale Moss Mushroom. +1 pt
- Eat a Skull Tumor Mushroom. +1 pt
.
.
.
::: Title Acquired (NEW!) :::
You ate every local specialty at the Mushroom Factory?
Your stomach and willpower deserve respect!
But... I wouldn’t want to share a meal with you.
▶ Title: 「Poison Mushroom Appraiser」 Acquired
- Drug Resistance increases slightly.
- The Mother of the Quiet Forest has taken a small liking to you.
- 30 pt awarded.
======
Drug Resistance.
Favorability.
Title acquired.
Including the title reward, I had earned a total of 86 pt.
“He’s not human....”
“Mom, I’m scared....”
Akitt and Areng stared at me like I was a monster as I lay there, patting my belly.
“Ugh... I’m so full....”
Actually, I knew it all along.
There was no such thing as a bad artifact.
An artifact that made me immune to all poisons, as long as I ate them, and let me get along with goats.
Even if it looked useless, there was a reason an SR was an SR.
Thanks to it, I hadn’t just swept up Challenges. I’d acquired a title too.
I wanted to get free points like this every day.
“...But what are titles even for?”
The titles I currently had were 「Hedonist」 and 「Poison Mushroom Appraiser」.
Unlike ordinary Challenges, titles seemed to grant lots of points and minor stat bonuses....
But did they have another use?
Achievements gave artifact gacha coupons, but titles didn’t seem to give me anything special.
Or maybe....
I checked my Status Window.
======
[ Death Game (LV.0) ]
▶ User: Cedric Montraven
▶ Achievements Earned: 「Zeroth Death」 「Lucky for Now」
▶ Titles Held: 「Hedonist」 「Poison Mushroom Appraiser」
▶ POINT: 101 pt
▶ Display Stand: [ Sturdy Stomach ] [ Laplace’s Eye ] [ ]
◆ Shop
◆ Playground (Locked)
◆ Enhancement (Locked)
※ Death Penalty is currently active ※
[ Belated Response ]
======
Hmm....
Maybe I could use them in that locked “Playground” or “Enhancement.”
This was really scratching at my curiosity.
Just as I sank into thought...
Ding!
With the notification sound, elevator doors suddenly appeared in midair, and a huge man stepped out.
“Huh?”
A blue changpao.
A massive hammer in his hand.
The bastard who’d picked a fight with us in the hotel lobby a few hours earlier.
It was the Grade 7 fixer, Sunming.
After looking around, he spotted us and laughed heartily.
“What? You little shits really came in? You’re all dead...”
“Irasshaimase!!!”[1]
Bang!
I pulled Hero’s trigger immediately.
A bonus Challenge!
Footnotes:
[1] Irasshaimase: Japanese for “Welcome!”, a greeting commonly called out to customers.
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