WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Haruto
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ A Gacha Addict's Life in Fusionpunk ◈
Chapter 23: The Eight-Foot Widow (3)
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1.
Ceres’s car was a typical chauffeur-driven vehicle.
In other words, an absurdly luxurious limousine designed for the safety and comfort of its passenger, not its driver.
A long black body like a Rolls-Royce.
The limousine, modified with a high ceiling for Ceres, was luxurious yet somehow threatening.
After taking the driver’s seat, I looked over the fresh information I’d gotten from the monocle.
1) Two days ago, Ceres Cassian researched a way to break a Commandment.
2) Fourteen days ago, Ceres Cassian threw out every pair of high heels in her dressing room.
3) Twenty-eight days ago, Ceres Cassian leaked Twilight Resource Development’s Project Z plan to Overnus Pharmaceuticals. Project Z involved spreading biochemical weapons throughout Necropolis, with an estimated death toll of 250,000.
Let’s go through them one by one.
1) She researched a way to break a Commandment.
That one was whatever.
A Commandment was a mage making a direct deal with the world, gaining power in exchange for restrictions.
But restrictions were annoying even if they were something as simple as, “Never pick your nose with your right hand for the rest of your life.”
I didn’t know what kind of Commandment Ceres had, but she was supposedly 250 years old. It made sense that she’d be sick of it.
Still, they said breaking a Commandment once made was absolutely impossible.
Someone like Ceres wasting time on something like that would naturally want to keep it secret.
Next.
2) Fourteen days ago, Ceres Cassian threw out every pair of high heels in her dressing room.
“Hmm. Being tall must be an insecurity for her.”
If a woman was as tall as an Eight-Foot Ghost, it was bound to be.
I didn’t think much of it beyond that.
It was just useful to know I should watch my behavior around her.
But then.
3) Twenty-eight days ago, Ceres Cassian leaked Twilight Resource Development’s Project Z plan to Overnus Pharmaceuticals. Project Z involved spreading biochemical weapons throughout Necropolis, with an estimated death toll of 250,000.
“What the hell is this...?”
This wasn’t what I’d been hoping for!
Secret♥) One day ago, Ceres Cassian, at night... But the way she did it...
That was the kind of thing I’d expected!
“Ugh, my head hurts.”
So Twilight Resource Development was planning to spread biochemical weapons through Necropolis?
With an estimated 250,000 dead?
That much damage would be almost like an entire small or medium-sized ward disappearing.
If you said:
‘That’s awful! They aren’t even human! Why would they do something so horrible?!’
Then you hadn’t lived in Necropolis long enough.
A Necropolis citizen should answer like this even if you just poked them in the side.
“Twilight Resource Development considers even corpses a resource, so they plan to clear out Necropolis’s excess population while harvesting resources from the overpopulated city. Aden will obviously turn a blind eye. It’s a very efficient project.”
That much, I understood.
Considering Twilight Resource Development’s influence, it was entirely possible.
But the part about Ceres Cassian leaking Project Z to Overnus Pharmaceuticals.
That was clearly strange.
Overnus Pharmaceuticals and Twilight Resource Development were the two major corporations leading the city, and longtime rivals.
Pepsi and Coca-Cola weren’t exactly friendly, were they?
You could feel the underground power struggle between the two companies just by going near the border between C Sector and D Sector.
Ceres was a director of Twilight Resource Development, yet she had leaked an obvious company secret to their rival.
“Suspicious, suspicious, suspicious.”
When faced with such a huge truth, what should a proper Necropolis citizen say?
“As long as it’s not me.”
I neatly erased all those complicated connections from my mind.
I didn’t even consider blackmailing Ceres with it or trying to cooperate with her somehow.
The scale was obvious, wasn’t it?
The board was far too big for a small fry like me to step onto.
Even the Sun Emperor, that Grade 7 fixer who had made a name for himself with nothing but a hammer, would feel considerable pressure at this scale.
Besides, my rabbit-like Arbel would be arriving by Rocket Delivery in a few days.
Handling that burden alone was already more than I could manage.
All I could do in this situation was...
“Let’s see...”
Carefully memorize the map of Necropolis in the limousine’s glove compartment.
And pray that some enormous misfortune wouldn’t crush me.
2.
It had been two days since I became Ceres’s driver.
For a progress check, there was one piece of good news and one piece of bad news.
The good news came first.
Being a driver was easier than I’d expected.
I just had to drive Ceres around for about two hours a day according to her schedule.
Her range of activity wasn’t all that wide, either, so most of my time was spent waiting around and polishing the limousine until it gleamed with a dry rag.
And yet my weekly pay in the contract was 200,000 Bios.
It wasn’t that Ceres was so rich that her sense of money had gone weird.
Becoming Ceres’s attendant meant I belonged to her Executive Office, and that office was practically run as Ceres’s personal organization. That was why it was possible.
“This is good news. Great news.”
According to my plan, driving was only a stepping stone.
The true ending was worming my way into Ceres’s life and becoming her kept man.
Being able to collect Arbel’s weekly treatment costs steadily and reliably while crossing that bridge was a major advantage.
So what was the bad news?
“Ha... Why isn’t she taking the bait?”
Ceres was so cold that this kitty Cedric was lonely.
Even when we rode in the car together, we barely talked.
Something between a man and a woman?
That required a basic conversation first.
If you asked whether becoming a kept man in two days was too much to expect, that was fair, too.
“But in the first run, we were in bed three hours after making eye contact...”
Wasn’t Ceres supposed to be easy to win over...?
What was different this time?
Had I been too nervous?
Or had she been in such a good mood after getting Arbel’s corpse back then that her judgment had slipped?
Or was Ceres’s ideal type a younger brother who sold his sister’s corpse?
“I don’t know.”
The most likely theory was that Ceres drew a strict line between work and personal life, so she didn’t bring subordinates into her bed.
Or maybe the Goat Gate had traumatized her so badly that she’d developed a hatred of men.
Hmm. Honestly, I could accept the latter.
“Fuck, then I’m screwed.”
Should I have skipped all this attendant crap from the start and just bragged about my girth?
I was drowning in regret when Ceres came walking toward me from afar, graceful as a black horse.
“Welcome, Director.”
“Hello, Cedric. You’re working hard so late at night.”
“Not at all. Night driving with Director Ceres is exciting and wonderful.”
I quickly opened the door for her, settled her in the back seat, and took the wheel.
As soon as Ceres sat down, she lit a cigarette and exhaled a long stream of smoke.
“Shall I take you home?”
“Yeah, do that.”
“Yes! I’ll make the ride comfortable as always.”
The limousine glided across roads far too poor for such a luxury vehicle.
Our destination was Ceres’s Haeng House.
Ceres usually sat in the back in silence, looking over documents, but today she took wine from the minibar and poured herself a glass.
“Is the work manageable?”
“Yes, thanks to your consideration, Director.”
“Don’t say things you don’t mean.”
“It pains me that my sincerity doesn’t reach you.”
A suitable amount of cheek was essential for social life.
Ceres slowly swirled her wineglass and snorted.
“I noticed before, but you’re a very good driver. Where did you learn?”
“Back when I was staying in Aden.”
“In Aden?”
“I was driven out of there, you see. At first, it was difficult and hopeless, but now I find comfort in thinking that it was all a journey to meet you, Ceres.”
“You certainly take things well. Even after having your eyeball torn out?”
“I had astigmatism, but after you restored it, my vision returned completely to normal. That must be another blessing from you, Ceres.”
At my exaggerated banter, Ceres burst out laughing, even showing her white teeth.
A beautiful woman laughing put me in a good mood, too.
If only her height could be dealt with, she would have been a rabbit candidate comparable to Arbel.
More importantly... was this it?!
She took the bait after only three days!
I gently opened the door to small talk.
“I think this is the first time I’ve seen you laugh like that, Director. I’ve only ever seen you looking perfect and flawless...”
“How long have we even known each other?”
“Not very long, but... You’ve always had a stiff expression, even in the back seat.”
Now, let me reveal the secret of small talk.
The key to small talk wasn’t conversation.
It was making the other person feel seen through active observation.
If you showed a woman that you noticed her this closely, nine times out of ten, she would feel favorably toward you. Assuming you had an above-average face.
“Hmm, is that so?”
“Ah, that was just my personal opinion. I’m sorry for speaking out of turn.”
“No, it was interesting. You’re the first person to say that to me.”
Just as expected, Ceres leaned forward and tilted her head with interest.
If I kept sweet-talking her like this, I’d cross the finish line and get into bed.
I’d rack up points using the weaknesses I’d figured out beforehand.
Arbel! Just wait a little longer! Your brother will make money!
“Tch.”
In the middle of our warm conversation, Ceres suddenly clicked her tongue in annoyance.
What? Did I screw something up?
“Annoying bastards. They can’t leave me alone for even a moment.”
“What do you mean all of a sudden...?”
“We have a tail.”
“A tail?”
“It’s nothing to worry about. The other directors probably sent them. You could call it... company politics.”
I checked the side mirror and saw a car following us from a distance.
They didn’t seem to care about hiding it, since their headlights were glaring openly.
“Even someone as important as you has your own troubles, Director Ceres.”
“You have quite a way with words, don’t you?”
I copied a line Ceres had liked in the previous run.
At the same time, a question came to mind.
Wasn’t Ceres at least Rank 4?
“Couldn’t you just Julien them?”
“If I did that, every director would have to hold open recruitment for new employees every two weeks. They haven’t crossed the line yet, so ignore them and drive.”
Aha.
I got a rough idea of how things worked.
There were ten other directors in Twilight Resource Development besides Ceres.
The internal fight between directors was fierce, but they seemed to have certain unspoken rules.
Even international counterintelligence agencies didn’t kill every enemy spy they caught.
This was lucky.
Just when I was wondering what to do, an opportunity to earn points had appeared.
“Your beauty is so exceptional, Director Ceres, that even stalkers are running wild.”
“...What a pointless joke.”
Ceres’s straight eyebrows twitched.
The tail seemed to have spoiled her mood, because unlike before, she looked displeased by my flattery.
“Would you care for a little night driving with me?”
“No.”
“It’ll only take a moment.”
“Kid, don’t get cocky...”
I gently swerved the car left and right to warm the tires.
Vrooooom!
I pressed the clutch and shifted up in an instant.
Ceres’s body was pushed deep into the seatback.
The pursuers sped up at once.
“Cedric? What are you doing?”
“Fasten your seat belt! Hold on tight!”
Necropolis’s roads were narrow and terrible.
The city was built between enormous canyons, so the roads were narrow and winding like Monaco’s.
A ninety-degree left turn appeared almost immediately.
The building wall rushed toward us at our current speed.
Normally, I would have slowed down long before and made the turn at a crawl.
But.
“What the hell are you doing?!”
The moment Ceres shouted in alarm, I pressed the clutch with my left foot and eased onto the brake.
It didn’t have the immediate feel of my beloved ride that had been sold to a bank as collateral, but I slowly judged the G-force as the 2.5-ton body shifted its weight.
Now!
I braked half a beat too late.
Screeeech!
With the clutch fully depressed beneath my left foot, I kept steady pressure on the brake with the ball of my right foot.
Then I slammed the accelerator with my right heel.
The tires screamed, the RPM soared, and the engine roared.
Vrooooaaar!
Now this was the stuff!
Thrilled, I threw the gearshift from fourth into second.
I drove the nose into the corner with a textbook heel-and-toe maneuver, then stomped harder on the accelerator.
Screeeech!
The powerful torque broke the rear wheels loose, sending them sliding.
I immediately turned the wheel the other way to control the slide and exited the corner.
Finally, I straightened the wheel and shifted into top gear.
Accelerate, accelerate, accelerate again!
After that picture-perfect drift and burst of acceleration, the heavy limousine howled.
Vrooooooaaar!
“This engine sounds insane!”
Hey, wasn’t that sound too beastly for a quiet limousine?
As the pursuers struggled and fell behind at the very first corner, I gave them an encouraging Honk!
They were trying pretty hard, though.
Back when I was addicted to dopamine, I tried every extreme sport I could.
The two I enjoyed most were wingsuit flying and amateur motor racing.
In other words, I had more than enough skill to shake off a lousy tail.
“How is it? Fun, right? Night driving.”
Honestly, I was a little worried after just going for it.
When I showed women this in my own car, their reactions always fell into exactly two categories.
They either giggled and called me badass, or went pale, told me to stop the car, then threw up.
“Haha! Ahahaha!”
Our director definitely wasn’t an ordinary person.
Ceres clapped while laughing so hard her face turned red.
“Want to drive more?”
“More!!!!”
“Then I’ll take it up to sixth gear!”
“There’s no seventh?!”
“There isn’t!”
The limousine’s exhaust note rang grandly across the road toward G Sector.
“Here? Isn’t this a little...?”
“It is a shame that it’s too dark to see your beauty properly, Director Ceres.”
“Wait, there...! ...You’re bold...”
“You’re cute.”
After stepping on the accelerator and arriving at the dock, we tested the limousine’s suspension after testing its engine.
It was certainly a 2.5-ton luxury limousine. So solid that it didn’t budge.
The deep night passed with the sound of waves lapping.
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::: Challenges (NEW!) :::
- Enjoy a chase while riding in a vehicle. +1pt
- Become a mage’s attendant. +1pt
- Spend a heated time in a car. +1pt
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Footnotes:
Rocket Delivery is a Korean fast-delivery service, used here for the narrator’s darkly casual description of Arbel’s arrival.
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