WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: Haruto

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◈ A Gacha Addict's Life in Fusionpunk ◈

Chapter 29: Goal: The Nobel Peace Prize

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1.

I was glad I pulled the trigger without hesitation.

Thankfully, the save point hadn't updated.

The two Choices that had appeared right before my death.

[ 1. Resist Kisara ]

[ 2. Paradise Administration Bureau ]

I thought about them long and hard, but I had no idea what they meant.

I didn't know why they had appeared in that context either.

Skip what I don't know for now.

I had more than enough else to think about.

“...Mmph!!! Mmm...? Mmph...! Mmph...?!”

As I shared a deep reunion kiss with Arbel and fell into Necropolis, I reflected on the fourth run, the most eventful one yet.

First, the measurable gains.

A total of +57 pt, including the final Challenge.

Achievement unlocked: “Selective Death.”

On top of that, my “Understanding of Death” reached High.

Not bad.

I hadn't earned as many Points as in the third run, but I had gotten one artifact gacha ticket instead.

But what was Understanding of Death?

I felt like it had appeared a few times before, but nothing had changed so far.

“Hmm.”

Once again, I quickly moved on from what I didn't know.

The rewards were nice, but more importantly, I'd farmed an insane amount of information this run.

This fucked-up world had way too many situations where ignorance meant death.

No joke, even multiple lives wouldn't be enough.

“My death constant, Kisara Yagyu.”

I didn't know what the Paradise Administration Bureau was, or what an Executor was.

But Kisara was absurdly overpowered for a phase-one boss.

Put simply.

“If I meet her, I'm definitely dead.”

By the rules of the genre, she wasn't a boss meant to be beaten in the first place.

Get stronger in sixteen days and take that bitch's head?

Starting from nothing, it would be easier to prepare for the CSAT[1] in sixteen days and get into Seoul National University.

The only lifeline I could grab was Ceres, but...

No matter how I thought about it, Ceres didn't seem like she'd fight that woman for me.

She hadn't followed me to Sector E to help rescue Arbel.

Even though it wouldn't have been difficult for her.

All that affection I'd painstakingly built up was, hmm... about the relationship a person had with a pet dildo they were fond of.

Anyway.

There were two triggers that summoned that vicious bitch.

One was touching Universal Coins, as I already knew.

The other was a little longer.

“Oh? Those bad guys launched evil Project Z? In the name of justice, I can't forgive them!

Executor Kisara, who even ignored the mascot-like Bureau Director, makes an extremely rare appearance in Necropolis!

Purge the villains!

Oh? I came to this shithole and found Cedric too!

Yay, a side job! Purge you too!”

That was the fucking insane process that got me killed.

The moment Kisara appeared in Necropolis, she'd be delivered right to me no matter where I hid.

“Twilight Resource Development took a shit. Why am I the one getting splashed with sewage...?”

To avoid this, I had to either leave Necropolis before 5 a.m. on day sixteen.

Or stop Project Z somehow, preventing Kisara from coming in the first place.

“Haah...”

I'm a young man who rarely loses his positive attitude and hope.

But this was hard to accept.

Why did I have to save the local residents?

Those bastards were the kind of people who'd stab me in the side and have tripe for dinner.

There was one way to make this problem a little easier.

“Should I give up on Arbel in a Reverse Bunny Suit...?”

During my first run in Necropolis, when I didn't know regression existed.

I sold Arbel's corpse and received Universal Coins.

I was desperate too.

I didn't think I'd come back to life.

After I regressed, I felt guilty and did everything I could to save Arbel.

Of course, I also wanted to see her in a bunny girl outfit. Arbel was really pretty.

But as a result.

I got sliced to death by that crazy samurai bitch.

I got turned into Cedric tartare by Akitt and Areng.

And I shot myself with a pistol.

Hadn't I done enough as a human being?

I only had two uses of the Misfortune-Warding Talisman left now.

Some death penalties were trivial, like ingrown toenails, but others were hopeless, like a TS Beam[2] or losing an arm.

What if I tried to save Arbel, gained nothing, and only stacked more penalties?

What if I became Cedric with one arm, crippled legs, blindness, urinary tract stones, patchy hair loss, ingrown toenails, typhoid fever, erectile dysfunction, and impacted wisdom teeth?

Cedric, whose sixteen-day existence grew more miserable with every death.

A person becomes an adult when they take independent responsibility for their life and face it with maturity.

And a car-poor[3] becomes an adult only when they sell their car.

I'd become an adult by giving up on Arbel.

Just as I tried to erase that Choice from my heart, I remembered.

‘...Cedric.’

‘I hate you.... Someone like you...’

Arbel's final appearance in the previous run.

Arbel, who could have torn out my throat but didn't.

And those lips that touched the back of my neck before pulling away.

“That sly bitch planned all the way ahead.”

I knew she'd pull something like this.

Her face practically screamed that she devoured men.

“Fuck! Fine! I'll save you! I'll put you in a bunny girl outfit!”

I hardened my resolve.

I'd save Arbel.

I'd definitely put her in a full-body fishnet Reverse Bunny Suit.

We'd eat apple-mango shaved ice together at Aden's finest resort.

“Status Window!”

《Joker Random Box》

- Single Draw: 30 pt

- A consumable item that can become a powerful variable.

- Get your hands on a single card that will shake fate.

I had exactly 60 pt.

Enough for exactly two draws.

“I'm trusting you.”

I wanted this more desperately than ever.

My heart burned hotter than a blast furnace, filled with resolve and an unbreakable spirit.

Ba-dum! Ba-dum!

Please, red. No, at least blue, enough to give me an R.

Or won't SSR come back? We haven't seen each other even once since then!

My hopes were betrayed by white, C-tier results.

My expression went flat.

“Wow, I don't even want to look at it.”

I wasn't even curious what was inside.

Wasn't this the part where a dramatic event was supposed to happen?

I'd prepared myself, hadn't I? I'm throwing that resolve away again, okay? Should I abandon Arbel?

「Sudden Festival」

- Rank: C

- Description: An unexpected festival that captures everyone's attention.

- Effect: A magnificent, enormous fireworks display will continue for three minutes in the sky above a location you designate.

- Note: Single use. Very pretty.

“Wow, nice. Very pretty? You fucking bitch?”

The result was as vague as expected.

Jokers were only worth a damn from UC rank onward. Anything below that was completely useless.

I stopped trying to stare down the Status Window and quickly moved on to the next gacha.

“Draw.”

Ba-dum! Ba-dum!

This would leave me with exactly 0 pt.

Everything came down to this final draw.

A blue effect. R rank.

It wasn't SR, which was disappointing, but at least this...

「Mysterious Contract Seal」

- Rank: R

- Description: Make a promise with the world, or break one.

- Effect: You may form a new Commandment or break an existing Commandment.

- Note: Can also be used on others. Uses remaining: 2.

“Did I get a power-up event?!”

I'd studied Commandments in advance.

They were contracts where one bound oneself through taboos, rules, or oaths, and the world granted power proportional to their value and weight.

Even the name sounded grand.

Was this Cedric's rapid power-up event after relying on Hero alone?

I immediately raised the Contract Seal.

“Commandment! I want to form a Commandment!”

The Status Window said:

[You do not meet the qualifications.]

“...”

Ah, right.

Only mages of Rank 1 or above could form a Commandment.

This was a mid-game power-up Joker. It meant nothing while I had absolutely nothing.

“This is really pissing me off.”

As I was about to shove the two Jokers into my inventory, one thing came to mind.

The notifications I'd received when I looked at Ceres through the monocle.

1) Ceres Cassian researched a way to break a Commandment two days ago.

2) Ceres Cassian threw away every high-heeled shoe in her dressing room fourteen days ago.

3) Ceres Cassian leaked Twilight Resource Development's Project Z plan to Overnus Pharmaceuticals twenty-eight days ago. Project Z would disseminate biochemical weapons in Necropolis, with an estimated 250,000 deaths.

The first notification told me that Ceres wanted to break a Commandment.

Then perhaps this Mysterious Contract Seal could help her.

“Hmm...”

I put off thinking about it.

I still had one artifact draw left.

Artifacts were hard to get, and even Laplace’s Eye, a UC-rank artifact, had useful abilities.

It wouldn't be too late to decide what to do after seeing this.

[Artifact Draw begins.]

“Comeback from death, turn my life around, Thirteen Orphans[4], let's go!!!!!”

Ba-dum! Ka-boom! Ba-dum!

Oh! A dazzling red light!

SR, like Sturdy Stomach!

I hurriedly checked the contents.

It was a candle on a radiant golden candlestick.

The candle had already melted halfway down, and its dripped wax had hardened around the candlestick.

“As expected of SR! It looks fucking impressive!”

「Burning Life」

- Rank: SR

- Trait: Gain immense power for three minutes in exchange for your lifespan.

- Subtrait: Prevents incapacitation once and allows you to continue fighting.

- Note: The power gained is proportional to the lifespan paid. Cannot be removed.

“That's dramatic.”

It would let me use a super move that burned my lifespan...

There was something that stirred a man's heart about it.

Objectively speaking... it wasn't bad for now.

My lifespan? Of course it was precious.

My dream was to live to a hundred, sweep the table by going all in at a casino, then die of a heart attack.

But if I could escape Necropolis, I wouldn't mind dying of a stroke around eighty.

I also liked the subtrait that prevented incapacitation and let me continue fighting.

When I boxed, there were times my mind still had fight left in it, but my body absolutely wouldn't cooperate. This meant it would prevent that.

“SR is still SR, even if it's rotten.”

The fact that it couldn't be removed bothered me a little, but...

Was this the time to be picky? I immediately placed it on the Artifact Display Stand.

Good.

The gacha was over.

My current Jokers were...

Misfortune-Warding Talisman (2/5), Mysterious Contract Seal (2/2), Exhumation Monocle (1/3), Paltry Indulgence, Lost Receipt, The Hotel Abyss Suite Room Voucher, Honorific Speech Coupon, and Sudden Festival.

I was fairly well-off.

My goal for this fifth run.

“Help Mama Ceres stop Project Z and receive the Nobel Peace Prize.”

I didn't have time to think about this and that.

One goal was enough.

2.

Normally, I would have started by hunting robbers in the slums, killing Akitt and Areng, and taking over the fixer office.

But this time was different.

When was I supposed to follow the standard route?

I was already short on time.

The moment I finished the gacha, I headed for Mama Ceres's Haeng House.

Since I knew where the key was hidden, I brazenly entered the garage connected to the private elevator.

Not long after I began waiting, I saw Ceres step out of a limousine.

My plan was clear.

I'd make a deal with Ceres.

She had wanted to stop Project Z from the beginning.

Our objectives overlapped.

“Hmm? How did you get in here?”

The automatic lights came on, and Ceres raised her eyebrows in surprise.

As if she had never imagined some lunatic would break into a mage's house.

“With a key.”

I didn't avoid her gaze.

I met her eyes as though I had every confidence in the world.

This arrogant, self-righteous, terribly suspicious Ceres liked that kind of attitude.

“Interesting kid.”

I took a deep breath inwardly.

Good.

First, I'd try negotiating in exchange for getting rid of the Commandment she wanted to break.

If that didn't work, I'd bring up Project Z directly.

I'd also mention that Yiming of the Xuan Family, the one she'd leaked information to, had already betrayed her.

If necessary, I could use the Paltry Indulgence, say, “I'm sorry...!” and run away.

“Very interesting.”

With her arms crossed, she approached me with an intrigued look, then leaned forward to meet my eyes.

“Thank...”

“Shh. Stay quiet for a moment.”

Ceres reached a hand toward my eyes.

Was she suddenly going to pluck out my eyeballs because I'd acted cocky?

My PTSD was acting up.

When I didn't flinch, her hand began feeling over my face like she was examining a sculpture.

“Ahahaha.”

Then Ceres suddenly burst into laughter.

“You are loved by death.”

What?

“Would you like to work for me?”

This was an unexpected development.

Footnotes:

[1] CSAT: South Korea's notoriously competitive university entrance examination.

[2] TS Beam: "TS" is Korean internet shorthand for a sudden sex change, often caused by a fantastical beam or device.

[3] Car-poor: Korean slang for someone whose car expenses leave them broke.

[4] Thirteen Orphans: An exceptionally rare mahjong hand, invoked as a desperate long-shot comeback.

“Thirteen Orphans” is the English name of an exceptionally rare mahjong hand, used here as a desperate long-shot comeback cry.

The CSAT is South Korea's notoriously competitive university entrance exam.

“Car-poor” is Korean slang for someone whose car expenses leave them broke.

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