WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: Irevi

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

Chapter 62: The True Intent of Contradiction

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After defeating the field boss, my Sensory Enhancement skill went up another level.

I also acquired a new active skill called [Sensory Amplification]. Its effect was simple: it strengthened all five senses even further.

With Sensory Amplification active, I could sense my surroundings more keenly than usual. At that point, I literally became a living radar.

It didn't just make me more sensitive. I could even use echolocation to determine positions from reflected sound.

Growth achieved by smashing through danger was always thrilling. Satisfied, I returned to the Dark Elf village.

Eleanor, who looked like she'd been up all night, was waiting for me there.

"You smell like blood."

Come to think of it, Dark Elves were supposed to have a keen sense of smell. I'd changed my equipment, but I guess I hadn't gotten rid of the smell of blood.

I'd suddenly gathered my gear and gone out in the middle of the night, then come back smelling of blood.

She had every reason to grill me about what had happened, but Eleanor only looked at me with an inscrutable expression.

"As I thought, you really are my type... The more I look at you, the more I want you. It's such a shame we're different species."

Hmm. I thought she was about to say something deep, but apparently not. She had said her type was some younger man overflowing with wild charm or something.

It seemed Eleanor liked that I'd returned smelling of blood.

"Still, you were up all night too, right? Don't you need sleep? It doesn't look like you've eaten either."

"Not really."

"Humans tend to eat fairly often, don't they? Come to think of it, I don't think I've ever shared a meal with you."

That made sense. Dark Elves as a whole didn't eat very often, and I always got by on White Rolls.

Of course, the Dark Elves did try to feed me snacks whenever our eyes met, but still.

I'd eaten a White Roll right after killing the field boss, so I didn't need anything else. I didn't particularly need sleep either.

"I don't have much of an appetite."

I gave her a vague answer. It wasn't exactly a lie. It had been a long time since my appetite and desire for sleep had faded.

No, rather than fading on their own, it was closer to saying I'd cut them out myself.

Even when I was stuck on the first floor, I still had the nerve to stuff my face with nothing but delicious food every day.

What would have happened if I'd entered Floor 7 in the same state of mind, dragging myself through each day by satisfying only my most basic urges?

I probably would've latched onto the Dark Elves, eaten three meals a day plus snacks, and rolled around with Eleanor at night.

Just imagining myself like that made me sick. I'd be worse than an animal.

The duty and responsibility buried deep in my chest were what made me act like a person.

"I see. That's not a good thing."

Eleanor sounded sorry for me, but I liked that I was losing my appetite.

* * *

My conversation with Eleanor ended quickly. Neither of us had the luxury of free time.

I immediately headed to the Reconnaissance Team's building, brushed off the attention of the Dark Elf members of the Reconnaissance Team, and found Rizmel.

As soon as I met Rizmel, we headed back to the training grounds. After a quick warm-up, we resumed yesterday's training.

Rizmel seemed to want to lower the difficulty from yesterday and proceed slowly, but of course I refused.

-Slash!

In the dark shadows, my sword swung without relying on sight and easily cut through a Shadow Doll.

"What? You seem to be in great shape today. Did you get plenty of rest?"

I hadn't done any special extra training, but the results were completely different from yesterday. Rizmel looked extremely surprised.

Well, she was half right.

I hadn't rested, but I was in great shape.

The training continued. As I progressed through the tests at a rapid pace, Rizmel's expression gradually darkened.

At first, she happily praised me, then snapped at me not to get too full of myself.

But by the time I was easily taking down five Shadow Dolls at once and perfectly reproducing the moves from yesterday...

"..."

Perhaps sensing that something was wrong, Rizmel pressed her lips together, frowned, and glared at me.

I didn't care and showed off my growth without holding back.

With my eyes closed, I leisurely defeated the Shadow Dolls, proving that I had complete control over my expanded senses.

"What's going on?"

Rizmel suddenly grabbed my shoulder with a fierce expression. I answered casually.

"You taught me. Was there anything wrong with it?"

Rizmel shook her head and said that wasn't it at all.

"You... what did you do last night?"

Deep concern filled Rizmel's eyes again.

* * *

It wasn't like I'd committed a crime or done anything I needed to hide. So I explained without hesitation.

"I just got in some practice in a real fight. It's nothing much."

But once I said it, it didn't sound very innocent. That was probably because I was bad with words.

"You practiced in a real fight? Are you kidding me? How is fighting while slashing at your own eyes just practice?"

Rizmel stepped right up to me, widened her eyes as if interrogating me, and continued in a loud voice.

"I told you over and over. Don't push yourself too hard, don't get impatient, you're doing well... so why?"

"What?"

"Why are you acting like you're desperate to die again? You didn't have to do something that dangerous."

No matter what, I couldn't deny it here. I answered evenly.

"You're right."

"Then why?"

"Because I can."

I said again what I'd said before.

Just like with the Crystal Spider, I did it simply because I could.

Rizmel had heard that answer then too, and started teaching me swordsmanship because of it.

"I thought you had some important goal, that you wanted to get stronger as fast as possible."

"That was why you kept throwing yourself into dangerous real battles. It's also why I decided to teach you swordsmanship."

"I thought that if I taught you swordsmanship and made you strong enough, you wouldn't need to take those risks anymore."

"But after watching you, I realized you weren't in that much of a hurry. You looked like you had room to breathe."

Rizmel fell silent for a moment. I said nothing and waited for her to continue.

"You just like getting stronger, don't you?"

After a long silence, Rizmel's words showed that she had seen right through me.

Rizmel had noticed that I felt pleasure through growth.

* * *

After clearing the first floor, I learned for the first time how thrilling it was to grow through effort.

To someone who had been addicted to cheap dopamine, that thrill was an enormous new stimulus. For a while, I chased after it.

No, nothing had changed even now. Every time I grew stronger, my body still twisted with intense pleasure. But so what?

Wasn't enjoying effort a perfectly good thing?

Wasn't the pleasure of growth the greatest driving force that let me keep clearing the Tower of Trials?

"If it was because you only knew dangerous methods and thought that was the only way you could grow, I could understand."

Rizmel continued slowly, her voice trembling. This time too, I listened without talking back.

"But that's not true anymore. It's enough to just follow what I teach you. I thought you were satisfied."

Rizmel wasn't wrong. I really was satisfied with my training with Rizmel.

This time was just a little different. Even I couldn't say exactly what had been different.

"Did you hate that I was being too careful? Is that why you did it?"

It was difficult to answer.

Part of me had definitely been bothered by Rizmel's concern.

But I couldn't say that was the reason. Looking back, even I wasn't sure.

If I picked it apart piece by piece, the biggest thing was probably the impatience I'd started feeling.

Thinking about it that way did seem strange.

Why had I been especially impatient yesterday? When I thought hard about it, the answer came surprisingly quickly.

I was afraid that if I spent too long among the Dark Elves, I'd turn back into the pathetic bastard I used to be. That was it.

Then why had I started thinking that way? That was simple. It was exactly as Rizmel had said.

I was fully satisfied with becoming stronger through training with Rizmel.

Because I had become satisfied.

I wasn't allowed to enjoy satisfaction.

I'd castrated every one of my desires. I limited my meals to White Rolls and had been gradually cutting down on sleep.

Even as the fantastic bodies of the Dark Elves caught my eye, I rejected every one of Eleanor's temptations.

"I see. You're right."

Rizmel said I was acting like a man desperate to die. It was an extremely accurate statement.

I'd said I did it because I could, but my true feelings were something else. I couldn't believe I was only realizing that now.

"I wanted to die."

Seo Jinhyeok, a once-in-a-generation piece of trash who shamelessly exploited and killed someone by using his mother's love as an excuse.

I wanted to kill that bastard.

Seeing that bastard satisfied and happy made my guts twist, so I kept driving him toward death.

But if I died, I couldn't achieve my goal of leaving the Tower and apologizing to my mother. So I couldn't even kill that hated self.

Wanting to live and wanting to die, both were my true feelings. Both were my desires.

But the vow buried in my chest allowed neither.

'I won't stop. I'll keep moving forward until I break through this Tower's ceiling and escape.'

Sorry for making things confusing, Rizmel.

Footnotes:

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