Even in a Dark Fantasy, You Still Have to Eat - Chapter 46

WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: Haruto

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

◈ Even in a Dark Fantasy, You Still Have to Eat ◈

Chapter 46: Romance Scam # 2

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The older women in Ishtar’s party were bathing.

Strange men were approaching them while they were defenseless.

“We’re the Night Thieves Guild.”

“Don’t get cocky. Get lost.”

Clink. Shing.

The men rested their hands on hooks, nets, and other tools at their waists.

‘Good equipment.’

‘They seem to be around my level too.’

They were clearly targeting Ishtar’s party.

Like woodcutters eyeing a celestial maiden’s discarded clothes.

What should I do here?

‘Should I shout?’

Warn them about the danger.

But I quickly dismissed that thought.

‘All three of them would jump me at once.’

There was no need to take that risk.

First, I should just stall for time.

“What’s the Night Thieves Guild?”

“You idiot. Do we look like teachers? You think we’ll tell you just because you asked?”

“We’ll let you live, so get lost!”

The men brushed past me.

What would happen if these thugs came into contact with Ishtar’s party while they were bathing?

There would be one hell of a commotion.

“Let me join you!”

So I shouted at the thieves’ backs.

The thieves stopped in their tracks.

“What did you say?”

“I was targeting those women’s pockets first.”

I spent Ether to inspect one thief’s belongings.

「Powerful Anesthetic Potion x2」

「Hallucinogenic Gas Potion x2」

「Rope x6」

Why did he have so many potions?

I could use this.

“Hey, ugly.”

“Me?”

“Yeah, you. You have several potions and ropes, right?”

I asked the masked man.

His eyes changed in an instant.

“...Fuck, how did you know?”

“I have a blessing that lets me inspect people’s pockets. I’d already checked those women’s pockets too. I was waiting for an opportunity, but I couldn’t find a good opening.”

“...”

The thieves looked at each other.

Let’s push a little harder.

“If we work together, I think we have a chance to rob them. But if you don’t want to, I’ll just go join those women.”

“Fuck, you’re one underhanded bastard!”

“We split it fairly.”

“Try anything funny, and you won’t get a cut!”

They agreed to work with me more easily than I expected?

‘They’ll deal with the women first, then slit my throat last.’

That was what I would do if I were them.

So I went with the thieves.

At least I had succeeded in surviving for now.

I would watch how they worked and decide when to make my move.

“Ahh, that feels good...”

“Skin. So bouncy.”

“Damn, I wonder if Skadi’s on a date right now.”

“Shhh...”

The thieves crept up to the rocks near the hot spring where the women were bathing.

Then they took out several cloths and soaked them in suspicious potions.

Pour, pour. Splash.

They wrapped the wet cloths around their faces.

“You don’t get one, so handle yourself.”

As I wondered what they were doing, the men each pulled a glass bottle from their waists.

The yellow liquid sloshing inside looked extremely suspicious.

Whoosh. Crash!

Pssshhhh.

The thieves threw the bottles near the hot spring.

Gas immediately rose from the shattered bottles.

“Ugh, did I drink too much...?”

“Feeling. Kind of. Drowsy...”

“I heard something break...”

The women soaking in the hot spring closed their eyes.

One minute later.

“Got them! It works for sure.”

“There’s enough in there to put an angry lion to sleep!”

“Let’s go!”

Scurry.

The thieves rushed toward the hot spring.

I covered my nose with my sleeve and followed them.

The thieves grinned as they looked at the women’s discarded clothes.

“This is why I can’t quit this job!”

“What about the women?”

“We sell them! To Akam or Baine!”

“Can’t we have some fun first?”

Robbery and human trafficking.

Their crimes were pretty serious.

But that was probably why they had come all the way to the Wall and taken up thievery.

It wasn’t surprising.

What was surprising was Ishtar’s party.

Peek.

Venus opened her eyes.

“《Icy Road》.”

Crack!

The area around the hot spring froze in an instant.

“Fuck, what is this!?”

“My legs are stuck!”

The thieves’ legs were firmly frozen to the ground.

Splash!

Not missing that opportunity, Ishtar sprang from the hot spring in a spray of water.

“Drunken Dragon Kick!”

Thud!

Ishtar kicked one man square in the head with all her strength.

She was wearing a wet priest’s robe.

‘She had clothes on?’

I was shocked.

Then Freya, the female warrior, grabbed the shield that had fallen into the hot spring and slammed it into a thief’s torso.

“It’s amazing how you idiots fall for this every time!”

“...Fuck, the anesthetic gas didn’t work?”

The thieves panicked.

The women, who had entered the hot spring fully clothed, giggled.

“Hehehe, holding our breath for five minutes is nothing.”

“Get ready to die, you dogshit bastards!”

“《Lightning》!”

# # #

“These bastards have quite a bit of money! Around three million Ether altogether!”

“That’s enough for drinks.”

“Lucky.”

Ishtar’s party looted the thieves’ belongings.

While I was still confused about what had happened, Venus the mage gave me a simple explanation.

“Venus Flytrap Operation. Use often. When quota is tight.”

They deliberately showed an opening in the party, then robbed the thieves who tried to take advantage of it.

It seemed this expedition had been intended to target thieves like these from the beginning.

I had been surprised when they said they were going to bathe.

Who would have thought it was bait?

‘It really was a romance scam!’

‘These women are terrifying!’

You really had to be careful around “women” at the Wall.

Everything Jermain said was right.

“You bastards dared to try selling us?”

Freya stomped hard on the crotch of a tightly bound thief.

Crunch!

“Does it hurt? Huh? I asked if it hurts!”

“Ugh...”

Ugh! It hurt me too for some reason.

Ishtar patted my back.

“The youngest one brought us some nice suckers, huh?”

“Hehehe, I’m good at this stuff.”

I didn’t know exactly what it meant, but good was good.

I had been worried that the older women might be attacked by those sinister thieves.

That had been unnecessary.

They were all veterans.

“These Night Thieves Guild bastards have been causing trouble lately.”

Freya tied the thieves together and slung them over her back.

She looked like she knew a lot, so I asked.

“Do you know them?”

“They’ve become famous lately. Sounds like the thieves have been fighting among themselves too.”

Apparently, they had appeared during the two weeks I was away.

The thieves had been cutting each other up, and there had been quite a few casualties.

‘Was the Thief bitch who filled in for me part of the same group?’

Either way, today’s Ether farming had gone well.

We stood on the escape magic circle and checked our belongings.

Time to settle up!

One hundred Magma Stonefolk Stones.

One million Ether for my share.

‘One million won a day, plus extras.’

At this rate, I had nothing to envy about doctors or judges from my previous life!

Today, I would buy chicken and cola with Ether.

Ssss.

When I came to my senses, I was standing beside a river without even a breeze.

A skeletal serpent crawled beneath the moonlight.

【─Blessed one─.】

【─An interesting scent comes from you─.】

“Hehe, could it be the scent of this Black Bundle?”

I took out the bundle I had obtained from the Erdari.

Sabranik’s skull-like scales rustled.

【─It is not an item that interests me─.】

What?

Then how about this?

“What do you think of the rocks I have?”

「Magma Stonefolk Fragment」.

A chunk of rock that tasted salty.

I had gathered plenty because I thought Sabranik, who ate rocks, might like them.

【─Put them in my mouth─.】

Sabranik opened their mouth wide.

Rattle, rattle, rattle.

I dumped every rock into Sabranik’s mouth.

After swallowing them, Sabranik spoke.

【─Call upon me in your most dangerous moment─.】

【─I shall prove that your idol will not abandon you and flee─.】

Sssss.

With those words, Sabranik vanished into the distance.

‘No blessing this time?’

‘I feel like I got scammed somehow.’

When I came to my senses, I was standing in the Strategy Room, where the Ether table was located.

“Puhahaha. Drinking party. Drinks!”

“I’ll hand the thieves over to the military.”

“Kid, want to have a drink with us?”

The women invited me to join their drinking party?

‘This is the first time since Instructor Roze!’

A drinking party with women.

The corners of my mouth were already rising, but...

“I’ll be going now! I have something urgent to take care of! Hehe...”

Maybe it was because I had seen the thieves’ crushed groins, but fear came first.

Ishtar’s party.

They were terrifying women.

‘Unless I desperately need Ether, I shouldn’t look for them.’

They were basically the loan sharks of the party world.

By then, it was night.

I went to the bathroom and knocked on the door.

“Is Jermain here?”

“Little brother, what is it?”

“I heard the Thieves’ Guild and our party have been in conflict lately.”

Our party was exploring the Land of Night and could be ambushed by thieves at any time.

I needed to resolve this problem if I wanted future expeditions to go smoothly.

Click.

The bathroom door opened, and Jermain appeared with her arms crossed.

“Your party harmed our guild members.”

“What, really?”

“Of course, the cause was Debora, who was in your party.”

Debora.

That was the name of the Thief woman who had filled in for me.

“She broke the guild’s rules and sold her farmed currency, her ‘rice money,’ at half price.”

“Rice money?”

“Yes, rice money.”

“The guild even sets the price?”

“Of course. Imagine someone keeps selling farmed currency dirt cheap.”

“Hmm...”

“Price competition would start, and everyone would try to sell their farmed currency more cheaply. In the end, everyone would be ruined.”

I see!

Keeping the rice-money rate up was serious business.

I had seen Ether prices crash because of the Reboot Server release and nearly vomited blood.

Thinking of it that way, I could really understand just how awful Debora was for destroying the market economy.

She was on the same level as the Reboot Server.

Basically an Erdari wearing human skin.

“Guild members went to confront Debora and came into contact with your party. They grabbed each other by the collars and started fighting, then your party’s knight went chop.”

Jermain drew a line across her throat with the edge of her hand.

My vision went red.

‘Felix, you human butcher!’

Did he have some strange compulsion where thorns grew from his body if he didn’t cut off a thief’s head every day?

He was on the same level as a military doctor who couldn’t hold it together unless he circumcised unconscious people.

Jermain shrugged.

“Well, they were scum who could die at any moment. Some people said good riddance.”

“Oh, then can our party reconcile with the guild?”

“That’s difficult too.”

“Why?”

“I want to let it go for your sake, little brother, but embarrassingly enough, the guild is completely out of control.”

Groups of bandits often had terrible internal unity.

They had become thieves and robbers because they didn’t follow social rules in the first place.

Jermain pressed a hand to her forehead.

“Debora, that crazy bitch, ran off with half the guild members. Everyone who was dissatisfied with our usual policies left, so it’s complete chaos.”

“That’s a bigger mess than I thought.”

“I heard she even founded something called the Night Thieves Guild. My position in the guild is not looking good right now.”

The thieves walking the Land of Night were chaos itself.

It was truly an age of turmoil.

“What if I bring in Debora?”

I heard she had stolen Hermit’s paper too.

I had planned to chase her down anyway.

If I captured her and handed her over to Jermain’s Thieves’ Guild?

“Debora, that fox? She has lived on the streets for twenty years and has only five prior convictions. You understand what that means, little brother.”

Despite making a living as a thief for twenty years, she only had five prior convictions.

That meant she was cautious enough to avoid leaving a trail.

“Hehe, this is when you use your brain.”

But?

There was a strategy I could use precisely because the situation was this chaotic.

In that sense, the timing might actually be perfect.

For the record, the name of this operation was 「Romance Scam」.

Author’s Note

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