WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Haruto
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ Even in a Dark Fantasy, You Still Have to Eat ◈
Chapter 57: Kerning Town, Party Quest # 3
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Mr. Hammer, our party leader, asked.
“So you're saying you want the men here as gifts?”
“Human. Blood. Mix.”
“We. Get smarter.”
“High wall. Can break.”
A chorus of strange creatures rose from every direction.
They wanted the two males in our party.
In other words, they wanted Mr. Hammer and Felix as husbands!
“Not even worth discussing! Everyone, prepare for battle!”
Mr. Hammer shouted at the absurd demand.
The very next moment, Felix severed the neck of the creature that had tried to negotiate with us.
Slash.
Roll, roll.
“One down.”
Clink.
「+1,000 Ether」
My eyes nearly popped out of my head.
“Fuck! One thousand Ether for one?”
Were there any other monsters that gave this much Ether per kill?
Kill ten, and that was ten thousand Ether.
Kill twenty, and that was an order of fried chicken!
“Human. Males. Take.”
“Males. Offer.”
Rumble.
Beastlike creatures began emerging from the darkness.
Their barking and growling breaths were unpleasant to hear.
“《Blizzard Storm》!”
Hermit pointed her staff and cast a spell.
Whoosh!
Chunks of hail began falling from the sky.
“Grrrah!”
“Eeeek!”
Several of the clustered beastlike creatures were struck.
Meanwhile, Felix severed the necks of several more.
“Stupid animal bastards.”
“Catch them.”
“Catch them.”
Whoosh.
The beastlike creatures pulled nets from their waists and threw them at Felix.
“Felix! Make sure you dodge the nets!”
Nets were genuinely dangerous.
Once you got tangled up in one, it was hard to escape.
About half of my fourteen convictions had come from getting caught in nets.
That was how overpowered nets were.
“I can just cut through these flimsy things.”
Felix's sword flashed, slicing the nets to pieces.
No matter what anyone said, Felix's swordsmanship was uncanny.
“Catch them.”
“Catch.”
But the assault, which should have started weakening by now, showed no signs of slowing.
Beastlike creatures kept pouring out of the forest.
“I've used all my spells!”
Hermit had exhausted every spell she had prepared.
Mr. Hammer, who had been protecting Hermit, was covered in blood and looked like he could barely move.
“Damn it, these bastards just keep coming!”
“Haah... haah...”
Felix was breathing heavily too.
Looking closely, crude wooden arrows were embedded in his thigh and shoulder.
Was I the only one without injuries because I had been quick enough to run away?
Of course, I wasn't completely fine either.
I felt dizzy, perhaps because I had kept using 《Shadow Companion》.
Could I maintain it for around three minutes at most?
At this rate, we would be exhausted before we even reached Kerning Town.
The healthiest one here, me, had to do something.
“Let's negotiate!”
I raised my hand and dropped my shuriken onto the ground.
Clang.
The metallic sound rang out sharply.
“Yore, what are you doing? Why are you throwing away your weapon?”
Mr. Hammer shouted in alarm.
But I was sure of one thing.
‘These guys are smart.’
I had thought they were just beasts with their fur stripped off.
But they used tools and strategies. They were unusually cunning.
That meant they should understand negotiation and compromise too.
“Negotiate? What and how?”
A creature wearing feathers on its head asked me.
Fireworks went off inside me.
I couldn't believe it had taken the bait so easily.
I held up one finger.
“Male. One. Give. There. Felix.”
“Haah, me?”
Felix frowned.
The feather-hatted creature shook its head hard.
It pointed at the creatures lying on the ground.
“Many dead. Two males.”
The beastlike creatures bared their fangs, their furious growls filling the air.
I had no choice but to nod.
“Fine. But the fight ends here. Got it?”
“Good.”
The beastlike creatures put away their vicious weapons.
Mr. Hammer was dumbfounded by the situation.
“To think we could still communicate after all this.”
“What the hell is this situation?!”
Hermit trembled.
Her face held relief and a strange curiosity.
I spoke very quietly to her.
“They said they would offer the males.”
That meant they were paying tribute to someone.
‘There must be someone higher up even among these creatures.’
We could meet that person and negotiate properly.
Maybe we could make a deal to get out of the forest safely.
And if necessary, we could take them hostage and escape.
“My plan. Good.”
“Haah, rookie, what is with that way of talking?”
“Oops, it slipped out.”
It was a strangely addictive way of speaking.
Felix flicked the oil and blood from his sword, then smirked.
“Maybe you understand each other so well because you're on the same level.”
# # #
There were crude huts made of piled wood and straw everywhere.
If there were a primitive village, it would probably look exactly like this.
A large bonfire smoldered in the center.
Mr. Hammer couldn't hide his shock when he saw it.
“How many of these damn monsters are there?”
It was a real village.
There were well over several dozen. There might even have been close to a hundred.
“Hermit, do you have any magic that can wipe them all out at once?”
“If I did, I would've used it already.”
Grrr.
Bark.
Small beastlike creatures toddled after us.
“Human!”
“It is human!”
“Strange things!”
“Show us! Show us!”
The children were fluffier and cuter than expected.
If I made them beg in a back alley, they would probably rake in coins.
‘Should I kidnap one?’
Then Felix whistled.
It was a signal to look around.
“North.”
Felix pointed in a direction.
When I turned my head, Hermit poked my side.
“Rookie, that's south!”
“Hehehe.”
When I looked north, I saw a whole row of wooden cages.
Inside cages fit for imprisoning animals were...
“Those are people!”
People were locked up inside, half-naked.
They were as thin as skeletons, but their eyes shone like stars.
“...Should we save them?”
Hermit gripped her staff tightly.
Mr. Hammer shook his head.
“Most of them are criminals who ran away from the Wall. Don't pity them for nothing.”
Fair enough. No human who came this deep into the Night's territory could be normal.
“Here.”
“Our king. Is here.”
The feather-hatted creature led us to a large tent.
It was remarkably well made.
A large chest stood between the torches, and an enormous man sat on top of it.
He wore the skull of some unknown animal like a helmet, hiding his face.
With leather and bones draped over his shoulders, he looked like Hercules from a myth.
The beastlike creatures bowed their heads before him.
“Males. Offer.”
“Food. Receive.”
I had planned to take the leader hostage and escape if necessary.
But I needed to erase that plan from my mind.
Mr. Hammer seemed to be thinking the same thing.
“That guy isn't just an animal. He's a warrior.”
He clearly wasn't someone we could take hostage.
His forearms looked strong enough to crush my skull with nothing but grip strength.
He spoke.
“I am Yan-Mit, Beast King of the Great Plains. Travelers, welcome to my kingdom.”
Gasp.
He was incredibly fluent.
He even used more sophisticated words than I did.
“How do you know the language of the Empire's upper class?”
Unable to contain her curiosity, Hermit fearlessly asked.
The Beast King's bone armor rattled.
“My father was a Priest. He taught me many things. I have mastered the studies of kingship, and I can read the rune language as well.”
What were the studies of kingship, and what was the rune language?
As I was needlessly confused, the Beast King raised a hand.
“The two men will live here. I will give you my grown daughters. The rest of your party may leave tomorrow.”
Daughters?
We had just been snapped up as sons-in-law.
Hermit seemed unable to hold back her curiosity again.
“...Why the men? Usually, in situations like this, women are the targets.”
“It is a simple arithmetic problem. The children a woman can bear are limited, but a man can father children without limit.”
Soon, several beastlike creatures led Felix and me into separate tents.
Felix looked around and scowled fiercely.
“Yore, is this right? You're telling me to marry these monsters?”
“Shh. We survived for now, didn't we?”
“Hey, we're one step away from being fucked. They took all our equipment too.”
That was true.
We had to become the husbands of these insane creatures.
This was far from the family life I had dreamed of.
These monsters were way too ugly.
‘I have to escape somehow tonight.’
I entered a crude tent made of leather alone.
If I waited, a horrible monster would probably come through that door claiming to be my bride.
‘If it comes to it, I'll use the hidden dagger and...’
I had my hand on my dagger's hilt.
Rustle.
Then the tent flap opened, and someone entered.
“Gasp!”
“Why are you so surprised? Is this your first time seeing a person?”
Was this person about my age?
They had sharp eyes and long, well-kept black hair.
They wore sleek leather clothes like an explorer.
Other than their upright wolf-like ears and fluffy tail, they looked exactly human.
‘She's incredibly cute!’
This girl was my bride?
I suddenly became very nervous.
“Ahem. I'm Yore of Wild Slaughter.”
“I'm Nimble.”
Nimble!
Even her name was cute.
My bride, Nimble, spoke.
“Let me tell you one thing first. I don't want this marriage.”
“...What?”
“I'll secretly let you and your friends out, so just run away.”
Ooh!?
“You'll let me go...!?”
What luck!
Then why did it hurt like there was a huge hole in my chest?
It was suspicious too.
“Why don't you want to marry me?”
“You and your friends are weak.”
“I'm weak?”
“Without a torch, you can't even breathe in this land, can you?”
In truth, I couldn't endure the Night without an Ether Torch.
I would die in less than a few weeks.
Or become a monster worse than death.
“When the Night gets deeper, get out. I'll pull back the nearby guards.”
Nimble turned around and left the tent.
Swish.
I picked her rear pocket and obtained a key.
‘She didn't even notice me touching her butt.’
‘Hehehe, my pickpocketing skills have improved.’
I did feel a little guilty about picking the pocket of the woman who had been my bride.
But if you thought about it, it was a fair division of property between spouses.
A completely legal theft.
‘So what does this key open?’
The Beast King had some kind of chest.
Maybe this was its key.
Later, when the Night had grown deeper.
Sneak, sneak.
I secretly left my tent.
Felix should be in the tent right next to mine.
‘Should I see what he's doing?’
I was curious, but secretly peeking in would be improper.
I didn't want to see Felix naked or anything.
So I headed toward the Beast King's tent.
There really wasn't a single guard.
‘Nimble really did pull back the guards.’
Thanks to that, I easily approached the Beast King's chest.
The chest opened with a clatter when I inserted the key.
「Map of the Wandering Forest and Nearby Lands: Drawn in considerable detail.」
「Soul Contract」
There was a map and a tattered scroll.
I examined the map first.
‘Detailed.’
It was an extremely detailed map of the forest and surrounding lands.
However, it differed in many ways from the old Empire map Mr. Hammer had shown me.
‘If this goes well, I might be able to negotiate with the Beast King.’
All that remained was the scroll labeled 「Soul Contract」.
「Yan-Mit of the Forest Clan is guaranteed knowledge and the prosperity of his clan by Valder, Lord of the Mountain, in exchange for offering souls and sacrifices.」
「This contract is drawn up in two copies, one held by Yan-Mit and one by Valder.」
Valder, Lord of the Mountain?
Could it be the being Hermit and Mr. Hammer had argued over, with one saying it was a dragon and the other a demon?
‘This looks important, so I'll take it.’
It might become a bargaining chip, so I put it in my pocket.
Then I lay flat on the ground and crawled on all fours like a lizard.
When I sniffed the ground, I caught a strange lavender scent.
It was the smell of myrrh Hermit often applied to her neck and legs.
Following the scent, I found the tent where Hermit was lying down.
Hermit jumped in fright.
“Eek! Why are you walking on all fours? I thought some crazy lizard beastman was coming!”
“Hehehe, I snuck out. I can't walk around openly.”
“Snuck out?”
“Get ready! I got a map, so we need to get out of here fast!”
“Get out? There are guards everywhere. How are we supposed to get out, and where would we even go...?”
That was when it happened.
A commotion rose outside the tent.
“Don't move! If you move, this woman dies immediately!”
It was Felix.
He shouted with his hand at the throat of a trembling woman.
Footnotes:
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