WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Haruto
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ Even in a Dark Fantasy, You Still Have to Eat ◈
Chapter 72: Yore Holds an Engagement Ceremony!? # 1
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“You milk-smelling girls, hand over everything you've got!”
“Huh!?”
“W-What did you just say...!?”
The twin Thieves from D.S.'s party went wild, their eyes rolling back.
Still, I felt fairly calm.
‘Compared to Brigadier General Ezakiel, these girls are as skinny as sticks.’
After all my experiences, my standards for women had risen a little.
Was this the composure of an experienced man?
Taking advantage of that composure, I examined the twin girls more closely.
They wore tight leather clothes like Jermain, but they were flat all around.
Their faces were still soft with baby fuzz too.
‘They are much younger than Jermain.’
Pfft.
That made me laugh.
The twins threw even bigger fits at me.
“You bastard, are you laughing at us?”
“Let's see if you can still laugh after getting stabbed in the gut!”
Whoosh.
The twins took positions in front of and behind me.
Then they each pulled out daggers. Their stances looked decent enough.
“Get him!”
They said twins could understand each other without words. Was that really true?
The two shouted at the same time and rushed me.
Daggers stabbed toward me from the front and back.
It looked hard to escape.
If I were still an ordinary person, I would have been stabbed here.
Whoosh!
But I jumped into the air.
The twins' blades scraped each other's shoulders.
“Argh!”
“Ah!”
The twin Thieves fell over.
Taking that opening, I kicked one in the stomach.
Thud!
“Guh!”
“S-Sis!”
Was that the older sister?
They looked exactly alike, so I couldn't tell.
Then I should make the younger sister the same.
“Vile Kick!”
Thud!
I gave the younger sister the same kick in the stomach.
“Gah!”
In the end, both twins collapsed with miserable screams.
They shouted at the top of their lungs.
“Y-You'll regret treating us like this!”
“Do you know who has our backs!?”
“I don't know how tough you were in the back alleys, but this is the Wall. There are plenty of people here who have been around longer than you. Stop throwing your weight around.”
Crazy bitches who pulled knives just because someone provoked them a little.
What if they had run into Felix instead?
A few heads would definitely have been rolling on the floor.
Then whoever had their backs wouldn't matter at all.
“...Huh? Why is it so noisy?”
Perhaps hearing the commotion, Ishtar poked her head out from her room.
She looked back and forth between the twins lying on the floor clutching their stomachs and me.
“What happened?”
“Hehe, it's nothing!”
“Ma'am! Please save us!”
“This bastard tried to rape us!”
When the twins began to cry, my heart dropped.
Rape? What kind of ridiculous accusation was that?
“What? Rape?”
Ishtar's eyes narrowed dangerously.
If I got dragged off by the guards and thrown in prison, it would be the worst.
As I thought that, Ishtar got angry.
“Don't lie! Little Yore may be a Thief, but he doesn't do anything that bad, okayyy. Little brother, I guess you need more training...”
Ooooh!
Ooooh!
I clenched my fists.
It had been so long since I was cleared of a false accusation!
Having someone believe me made my nose itch for some reason.
As I rubbed it, the twins looked at each other.
“Yore? The one who took down One-Eye?”
“The one who beat the Emperor of the Abyss in gambling...!?”
# # #
“Yore, did you really take down One-Eye?”
“Can we become as strong as you if we level up too?”
Strong against the weak, weak against the strong.
That was the basic attitude of cowardly criminals.
Still, these twins were so obvious about it that it was almost embarrassing.
‘Is this better than when they were aiming knives at me to kill me?’
“You told us to hand over everything we had!”
“Take all our money!”
They even handed over all their money.
Was this the effect of Goblin Rhetoric?
Clink.
Together, they had 50,000 Ether.
That'd buy about two fried chickens.
I tucked it away carefully and asked the twins.
“Am I somewhat famous in the back alleys?”
“They say you took down One-Eye!”
“Rumor has it that you even beat the Emperor of the Abyss in gambling!”
“Well, my match with the Emperor of the Abyss was a close one.”
“Wooooow!”
“So it is true!”
The twins stuck to my sides like cats given treats.
Sir Saxon watched and chuckled.
“The twins are following Yore like their own older brother!”
Mr. Hammer was passing through the hallway and burst out laughing too.
“Our Yore is incredibly popular!”
This was very embarrassing.
The twins seemed more surprised by my reaction.
“Yore, people seem to trust you a lot. What is your secret?”
“People usually start by suspecting Thieves.”
It felt like I had gained younger kids who looked up to me.
I rubbed my itching nose and spoke seriously.
“Why do people trust me? Because I'm a Thief who steals hearts.”
I felt a little embarrassed after saying it.
But the twins' eyes only sparkled even brighter.
“A Thief who steals hearts?”
“What is that?”
“It takes patience, and you have to be good at what you do. Start by earning your party members' trust.”
“How do we earn trust?”
“Tell us!”
“First, stop holding knives at people you just met.”
“Then people will look down on us.”
“If people look down on you in the back alleys, you're finished!”
That was true too.
These girls looked around middle-school age.
They must have been easy for others to dismiss.
Had their prickly, hedgehog-like reactions been a defense mechanism to survive?
“That is true in the back alleys, but the Wall is different.”
“Ooh.”
“Ooh.”
The Blaset twins exclaimed in exactly the same way.
They really looked identical.
“Which one is the older sister and which one is the younger sister?”
“Look closely. I'm the older Blaset.”
“I'm the younger Blaset.”
I really couldn't tell even when I looked.
Wasn't this practically a cloning technique?
When I frowned, the twins giggled.
“Our chest sizes are different.”
“If you touch us, you can immediately tell which one is the younger sister and which one is the older sister.”
The girls pushed their chests toward me.
“Touch us.”
“We're completely different, I'm telling you.”
Touch them!?
At that moment, it felt like my brain was being fried.
Was this how people felt when fox spirits enchanted them?
“Oh, you are the Blaset twins.”
That was when Jermain ran into us while walking down the hallway.
Then she grabbed the twins by their ears.
“You brats, stop bothering Yore.”
“Ow!”
“Jermain!”
“Jermain, you know them?”
“They came from the same orphanage as me.”
An orphanage?
I suddenly remembered the facility in Kerning Town that trained orphans to become Thieves.
Were these little girls from there?
“Kerning Town has been in complete chaos lately, with a dragon appearing and beastfolk showing up. It seems they escaped from the orphanage during the confusion.”
Jermain tucked one twin under each arm.
“Yore, I'll take these two with me.”
“Then see you later, Yore!”
“Kikiki, bye!”
...What was that?
I was definitely the one who had taught them a lesson.
Why did I feel like I had been thoroughly played instead?
But about a day later, D.S. approached me with great admiration and held out a Tempering Stone.
“Those rude twins have started listening. They cooperate well too. This is the reward I promised.”
“Hehe, I'm glad it worked.”
“They keep talking about some Thief who steals hearts. What the hell does that mean?”
“That is...”
My throat suddenly tightened when I tried to explain. That was because I felt incredibly embarrassed.
“Anyway, it's a thing!”
That evening.
In a shabby warehouse.
“Hermit, please enhance this for me!”
I asked Hermit to use the Tempering Stone for an enhancement.
I was enhancing my shuriken.
“Don't blame me if it breaks!”
Hermit didn't hold back on the warning this time either.
Then the shuriken enhancement began.
“Goddess of the Anvil!”
Flash!
Crackle.
“Ha, another success!”
“T-This succeeded again!?”
Even Hermit was surprised.
Soon, she nudged my side and spoke quietly.
“So? I'm amazing, right?”
Hermit seemed to like being praised.
“Nimble can't do this!”
“That is true.”
“My Tempering Stone enhancement success rate is one hundred percent so far!”
Hermit's skills truly were amazing.
Still, it was a little funny how desperately she seemed to be trying to prove that she was useful.
“Hermit, you don't have to say all that. You're amazing enough already.”
“Amazing?”
“I've never seen a mage as amazing as you!”
“...Well, that is true.”
Hermit's expression looked like she had swallowed bitter chocolate.
I had finally gathered the courage to praise her too.
‘There are people in the world who don't like compliments.’
How much time passed after that?
Hermit found me while I was focused on training.
“Hey, rookie. Do you know the Blaset twins?”
Was she talking about the twin Thieves I had taught a lesson?
I never expected Hermit to mention their names.
“What about the twins?”
“They want to introduce me to their noble patron for equipment enhancement work. Come with me!”
“Do I have to come too?”
“The twins said you absolutely have to come along. I don't know why.”
She didn't know why?
They wanted me there?
It was suspicious.
The opportunity brought by those Blaset twins bothered me too.
Come to think of it, the twins had talked about someone having their backs.
Was it a noble supporting them?
As I thought it over for a while, Hermit quietly exclaimed like someone plotting something bad.
“What is there to think about? It's someone from the Dantes family!”
Dantes?
That was the noble family that had tried to hang me!
“She is a high noble with connections to the Imperial Council. We might be able to earn a ton of Ether!”
I hadn't known the twins had such powerful connections behind them.
No wonder they walked around with their chests puffed out.
“...Deal?”
Hermit asked me.
I let out a long sigh.
“Hehehe, hurry up and lead the way!”
“Hehehe! Rookie, I knew you had some sense!”
“I told you not to copy the way I talk!”
“Phehehe!”
Together, we headed toward the Wall's reception room.
Before we entered, Hermit warned me several times.
“Remember, it's rude to look directly at an unmarried noble lady.”
A woman so noble that even daring to look at her was a crime.
I was extremely nervous about having to meet someone like that.
“...And absolutely don't raise your voice!”
Creak.
Hermit took a breath and opened the door.
A woman was sitting in the reception room, which was furnished with antique furniture.
The woman in a black dress stood and introduced herself.
“My name is Karma Dantes.”
“I'm Hermit. This is Yore.”
“Yore... Are you the Thief the twins speak of so often...?”
Karma Dantes was a woman with striking long navy-blue hair.
She seemed a little younger than me.
‘...She is incredibly beautiful!’
If a proud, relaxed purebred cat became human, she might look exactly like this.
Still, I deeply lowered my head.
For a criminal like me, looking directly at an unmarried highborn noblewoman was forbidden.
Then Miss Dantes's excited voice washed over the back of my head.
“...Ah, just as the twins said!”
The cool touch of a white glove touched my face.
A gentle but irresistible force lifted my chin.
“You are exactly the man I've been searching for! A man born under a star of heavenly fortune!”
Footnotes:
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