WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Haruto
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ Even in a Dark Fantasy, You Still Have to Eat ◈
Chapter 76: Hermit's Hideout # 2
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Walu, walu...!
Walu...!
“Hey, hey, hey! Nimble! The walus are coming! There are tons of them!”
Michanic University was still filled with every kind of tentacle monster.
Those bastard freaks with tentacles growing out of human and animal bodies!
“Then everyone, prepare for baaaattle!!!”
“《Thorny Vines》!”
Mr. Hammer gripped his hammer tighter, and Nimble stretched out her arm.
Then thorny vines burst from the stone floor and pierced the tentacle monsters’ feet.
“Walu!”
“Waaalu!”
The monsters got their feet caught in the thorns and could not move.
Even the ones that barely escaped were sent flying back by Mr. Hammer’s body slam, rolling through the thorny vines again.
“Where do you think you’re going!?”
Served them right!
I should help out with my shurikens too.
“Die, you seafood bastards!”
Whoosh! Crackle!
My lightning-wreathed shuriken pierced through a monster’s body and burst into blue flames.
“Hehe, seafood really is weak to lightning!”
Nimble asked me.
“Why is seafood weak to lightning?”
“Because electricity travels well through water.”
“Why does it do that?”
“I don’t know that either.”
If Hermit were here, she would definitely have been able to explain it.
It had already been two days since Hermit left.
“Mr. Hammer, look at this wall. It looks like some kind of mark.”
That was when Felix, who had been shaking the tentacles off his sword, found a symbol drawn on the wall.
It looked like someone had painted it with blood and ink.
“A skull with a sword in its mouth...”
Mr. Hammer crossed his arms.
“It’s definitely an unfamiliar symbol. Could it be the symbol of an idol?”
Mr. Hammer looked at me.
He looked like he expected something, so I told him everything I knew.
“It’s a strange drawing, sir!”
There was no one in our party now who could recognize idols or religions.
That was because Hermit was gone.
Nimble was a Druid, so we had no problem with area-of-effect magic.
But when knowledge was needed, Hermit’s absence felt much bigger.
“Alright, Hammer’s party, time to head back!”
We finished our exploration and returned.
On the way back, we met Sabranik and handed over the Ralkar Statue.
【Blessed One.】
【I shall deepen the Snake’s Gaze further.】
【Continue to devote yourself to my service.】
Snake's Eyes upgraded to Level 2!
Very nice.
It felt great to know I was steadily getting stronger.
Then we returned to the Strategy Room!
“Get lost!”
I opened my eyes wide and glared around.
Squeak, squeak.
The rats everywhere trembled and froze just from my gaze.
“Hehe, serves you right.”
Snake's Eyes had an intimidation effect on opponents below my level.
The higher its level became, the more useful it would be in real combat.
Which meant I had even more reasons to earn a huge amount of Ether.
“Damn it. Hermit was the one who listed our stuff at the auction house and sold it. Now my work has doubled.”
Mr. Hammer grumbled as he went to sell today’s enhancement scrolls, potions, materials, and other loot at the auction house.
We had earned roughly two million Ether today.
Each person received five hundred thousand Ether.
A daily wage of 500,000 won!
No matter how many times I did it, I could never get used to the thrill of earning Ether.
It felt new every time!
“Hey, Yore. Buy us some of that chicken from before.”
Nimble came up to me, her tail swishing back and forth.
It looked like she wanted chicken.
“Hehehe. I’ll get you ice cream for dessert today too.”
But strangely, the bonfire would not listen to me.
“Huh?”
The flame was weak, and even after it received Ether, it would not offer up any chicken.
Damn it, it felt like an arcade machine had eaten my coin.
“Mr. Hammer! The bonfire is acting strange!”
“Ah... So it finally broke.”
“Broke?”
“There’s no Shaman to manage the bonfire, so the flame’s malfunctioning too.”
“But this has never happened before!”
“That’s because Hermit was somehow managing it in her place. She had some talent with Imperial Palace magic too.”
“Mr. Hammer, then what do we do now!?”
“Well, we have to wait until a new Shaman arrives. I don’t know how many days it’ll take.”
Whaaat!?
What did he mean, he didn’t know how many days it would take?
I wanted chicken right now!
Earn Ether, eat and drink chicken and cola, then sleep!
There was a problem with my perfect cycle.
“Mr. Hammer, we can’t bring Hermit back, can we?”
I really felt Hermit’s absence.
Mr. Hammer shook his head.
“This is the Pilgrim Family’s business. A court mage personally came and took his daughter away. What can we do?”
# # #
That evening.
While everyone was busy with their own work, I went into Hermit’s room.
Hermit’s room was filled with ink, quills, and piles of books.
An egg lay among them.
It was the Familiar egg we had obtained together.
“So we really can’t hatch this thing!”
A magnet pet.
If we had one, our hunting efficiency would at least double.
It would save time spent picking up Ether, letting us kill even more monsters!
But Hermit had not been able to hatch the magnet pet after all.
I placed the conical hat Hermit had left behind on top of the egg.
‘She said this hat was as important as her life.’
It had been crushed and wrinkled beneath the knights’ boots.
I had brushed off the dust, at least.
‘Hermit, how am I supposed to go to Kerning Town without you!’
I had to make armor from Sabranik’s scales.
And I had to find that young lady too!
“What are you doing here?”
Nimble came over with a towel wrapped around her head.
She smelled of soap all over, so she must have just washed up.
I asked her too.
“What are you doing here?”
“This is my room.”
“Oh, right.”
Nimble had shared a room with Hermit.
Now that Hermit was gone, this room belonged to Nimble alone.
Nimble dried her wet tail with a towel and spoke.
“Go already. A man and a woman who have not held a wedding ceremony should not be alone in the same room.”
“Yes, ma’am!”
Nimble lived in the wild, but she was incredibly strict about things like that.
‘In the wild, don’t they just mate once they catch each other’s eye?’
I was curious, but I did not have the courage to ask.
I did not want her to hate me for no reason.
So I left the women’s quarters.
Then I saw the Blaset twins roaming the hallway.
My vision turned red with rage.
“Hey, you little shits! Get over here!”
“Eek?”
“Urk?”
I grabbed the twins by the backs of their necks.
These little brats had introduced me to Karma Dantes, which had caused all kinds of problems.
‘Come to think of it, they were the root of it all!’
Could they have been working with her?
Just as those thoughts made the horns in my heart grow...
“Yore! Did you hear the news?”
“Karma, that woman, was a crazy bitch who cut men’s throats!”
“Huh?”
“They found all kinds of evidence in the burned house, so even the Dantes family is in trouble!”
“Who would have thought she was such a lunatic!”
Chatter, chatter.
The twins started talking before I could say anything.
They giggled.
“Yore, can you tell which one is the younger sister and which one is the older sister now?”
“Kikiki! You’ll know if you touch us!”
“Yeah, I’m not falling for that.”
It had only been a few days since I nearly died after falling for Karma Dantes’s romance scam.
I could not underestimate these little brats either.
‘There were plenty of middle school girls who seduced middle-aged men.’
They would invite wealthy-looking men to motels, then team up with older acquaintances to rip them off. That was how they made money.
As far as I could tell, the Blaset twins were exactly those kinds of girls.
“So, do you two sell rice?”
I casually changed the subject.
I had around a hundred gold coins I had earned through various jobs.
The twins’ eyes lit up.
Clink.
“Yore’s gold coins.”
“They’re hard.”
The deal went quickly.
I received a total of twenty-five million Ether, at ten million Ether for every forty gold coins.
“Yore, don’t tell that old la... Jermain!”
“We’re only giving you such a low price.”
The current market price for rice was ten million Ether for seventy gold coins.
That was because Kerning Town, the city of Thieves who sold rice, had been half destroyed, reducing the supply.
But the twins had sold it to me for almost half the price.
‘This is probably compensation for introducing me to Karma Dantes.’
Getting a huge amount of Ether immediately lifted my mood.
Twenty-five million.
I had made a fortune in an instant.
‘What should I do with this?’
Should I level up?
Saving it to buy a house seemed good too.
I lay in bed, thinking about what to do with my Ether.
But only for a moment.
Jingle, jingle.
I heard the sound of bells.
‘What time is it for someone to be ringing bells...?’
When I slowly opened my eyes, Felix was awake too.
He drew his sword and glared like a demon.
Creak.
Our room’s door opened.
The moment someone’s hand came through the doorway, Felix swung his sword.
Slash. Splurt.
Someone’s arm was cut off.
“Hey! Felix! You crazy bastard! Swinging your sword out of nowhere...”
I was about to lose my mind over his crazy decisiveness when...
I saw the dagger in the severed hand.
“Nice!”
Anyone who came into another person’s room in the middle of the night holding a dagger deserved to get cut!
“Aaargh! My, my arm!”
When we opened the door, a masked man lay collapsed, clutching his wrist.
It was hard to recognize the man’s face behind the mask, but the bells around his ankles were strange.
“...Bells!”
Felix trembled.
Then he grabbed the intruder by the collar and shouted.
“You son of a bitch, who the hell are you? What are you!?”
It was my first time seeing Felix this angry.
Come to think of it, had Felix not said he was looking for Thieves with bells?
The intruder before us was exactly like that.
But perhaps because he had lost too much blood, the intruder quickly died.
Looking closer, Felix’s ghostly swordsmanship had also cut his chest and neck.
Felix, that Human Butcher bastard!
I searched the dead intruder’s pockets.
There was no money, but there was a note inside.
「Wall 33, Sewer Cover No. 4」
It listed a place some distance from here.
What could this be?
There was only one way to find out for sure.
“Felix, wait here for a moment.”
I put on the dead man’s mask and headed out.
Wall 33, Sewer No. 4 in the neighboring unit.
When I entered, there were many idiots with bells around their ankles.
‘Since they’re wearing masks, they can’t be doing anything honorable.’
They showed each other their bloodstained daggers.
“It is done.”
“Me too.”
“I dealt with both of them as well.”
“Mission complete.”
Everyone looked at me.
Their eyes shone an especially bright red in the darkness.
“...”
Without saying a word, I held out my bloodstained dagger.
For the record, the blood had sprayed from the severed arm.
Footnotes:
“Rice” is Korean gaming slang for in-game currency or earnings traded to support one’s real-life living expenses.
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