WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: ZERO_SUGAR
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ Got a Gallery in the Wild ◈
Chapter 146: Spring (1)
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I didn't put the virility mushroom Papa Raccoon gave me up for sale at the Auction House.
It wasn't that I didn't trust Papa Raccoon.
I just thought I needed an expert opinion on whether its supposed effects were real and whether it was safe for humans.
It was a mushroom, after all.
‘Starlight Princess should know.’
Allfather was busy these days and couldn't log into the Gallery often, so that was out.
That only left Starlight Princess. Come to think of it, hadn't I asked her to analyze a mushroom before?
[You]: Starlight Princess, could I ask you a favor?
[Starlight Princess]: Sure. Go ahead.
[You]: Papa Raccoon gave me a mushroom.
[You]: He said it's good for male vigor, so I think I should have it checked.
[You]: I don't know about anything else, but mushrooms make me a little nervous.
[Starlight Princess]: Okay, I understand.
[Starlight Princess]: If it's an herb, that's one thing, but with mushrooms, you only need to send a small piece.
[You]: Got it.
[You]: Come to think of it, what happened with the mushroom I gave you last time?
[Starlight Princess]: I forgot to tell you!
[Starlight Princess]: That was a poisonous mushroom.
[Starlight Princess]: It was full of components that are harmful to humans.
[You]: I see.
[You]: Thank you.
As expected, mushrooms that advertised, “Don’t eat me~,” were dangerous.
Plain-looking mushrooms were no different. It was probably best not to eat mushrooms at all.
[Starlight Princess]: If the effect is real, I recommend selling it or eating it right away.
[You]: Why?
[Starlight Princess]: Mushrooms spoil quickly.
[Starlight Princess]: You could freeze them, but...
[Starlight Princess]: Are you going to eat it?
[You]: Even if I ate it, I wouldn't have any use for it, so I was planning to sell it.
[Starlight Princess]: I see.
[Starlight Princess]: I'll check it quickly!
I'd nearly gotten myself into serious trouble after eating eel before, so I figured it was best to stay as far away from aphrodisiacs as possible.
Maybe it would be different for someone from outside, but I had no idea what that mushroom would do to me.
Besides, even if Papa Raccoon had gotten results from it, there was no guarantee it would have the same effect on humans.
‘Still, he did give it to me...’
I should just grill the snake.
I grilled the snake with the raccoon family.
It was my first time eating snake, but it was pretty decent.
The texture was better than expected, and it tasted close to chicken.
It had a fishiness I hadn't even noticed in fish, but the salt covered it up.
“Keng!”
“Kiing! King!”
“Kkiing.”
The raccoon family seemed pleased when I sprinkled salt over the snake too.
They alternated between the salted and unsalted pieces, then happily ate only the salted ones.
They probably had never eaten food with salt sprinkled directly on it before.
It was practically a sign that read, “Help me from now on, and you can eat things like this.”
Maybe the raccoon family understood too, because they held out more meat for me to sprinkle with salt. They were unbelievably cute.
I filled my stomach with snake meat for lunch.
[Starlight Princess]: Mr. Grylls.
[Starlight Princess]: The test results are in.
[You]: How is it?
[Starlight Princess]: Papa Raccoon really knows his stuff.
[Starlight Princess]: It contains a lot of components that would greatly help men. There isn't any toxicity either.
[You]: So I can sell it?
[Starlight Princess]: Yes.
Whoever takes it, their wife will be happy.
I let out a bitter laugh. Whoever it was, I was truly envious.
It wasn't that I envied someone for eating something like this. I envied them because they had someone beside them.
No matter how effective it was, wasn't the point having someone to share it with?
I buried that bitterness and thanked Starlight Princess.
Then I contacted the registered user I'd had in mind.
[AllHailTheSun]: You have something for me?
[You]: Yes.
[You]: You're the only person I could think of giving it to.
[AllHailTheSun]: Looks like food. Did you ask that dwarf?
[AllHailTheSun]: Are they going to soak it in alcohol again?
[You]: I didn't ask, but I figured they would, so I didn't bother.
[AllHailTheSun]: Just give it to the dwarf.
[AllHailTheSun]: I've already gotten plenty from you.
[You]: It's been verified to be really good for men, though?
[AllHailTheSun]: How much are you selling it for?
AllHailTheSun was the type who couldn't resist anything good for the body.
Especially if it was good for men, they would take it no matter what.
[AllHailTheSun]: Thanks.
[AllHailTheSun]: Tell me if you need anything later.
[You]: Ah.
[You]: Can I ask now?
[AllHailTheSun]: Just say the word.
[You]: You live in the desert, right?
[AllHailTheSun]: That's right.
[AllHailTheSun]: Why?
[You]: Do sandstorms happen there often too?
Setan, the land of Dark Elf people and the wealthy.
It was a country built in the desert, like the Middle East on Earth.
Putting together what I'd heard around the Gallery, its culture and social atmosphere seemed similar to the Middle East too.
[AllHailTheSun]: Between spring and summer?
[AllHailTheSun]: They usually come around then.
[AllHailTheSun]: Do you think one will come your way too?
[You]: That's what I don't know.
[You]: So are there any clothes or tips that work well against sandstorms?
[AllHailTheSun]: There are face coverings that work against sandstorms.
[AllHailTheSun]: But if you can help it, the best thing is not to go outside.
[AllHailTheSun]: They can come unexpectedly.
[You]: I'm preparing just in case.
[AllHailTheSun]: Fair enough.
[AllHailTheSun]: How many should I give you?
[You]: Six in total.
[You]: One adult-sized one, and please give me the other five in smaller sizes.
[AllHailTheSun]: You're putting them on your animal friends?
[AllHailTheSun]: Honestly, I don't think they need them.
[You]: Why not?
[AllHailTheSun]: They've lived there their whole lives.
[AllHailTheSun]: You might just make them more uncomfortable.
[AllHailTheSun]: Have you seen videos of people putting shoes on dogs?
That was a really fitting comparison. I'd seen those videos too.
They were so awkward that all four legs moved separately.
Dogs had paw pads in the first place, so they didn't need shoes.
It was the same for animals living in the Forest of Four Seasons.
Just as Wonmo had begun preparing for hibernation in advance, they would quickly adapt to unexpected changes.
‘Besides, I have Fast Sloth.’
Wonmo's signs and Fast Sloth's warnings would be enough preparation.
I received a yellow-dust face covering from AllHailTheSun.
Maybe it was made to protect against the desert's intense sunlight, because it was pure white.
‘Who knows whether yellow dust will really come, though.’
Even if it wasn't spring, a sandstorm could still come.
I'd seen the environment and terrain across the river change in real time.
In the worst-case scenario, a sandstorm from the other side could cross the river.
‘When it turns into a volcanic region, a volcano isn't going to erupt, right?’
I'd die screaming without even knowing what was happening. That was a little scary.
Still, seeing the old traces inside this cave, things like that probably didn't happen often.
I spent the day thoroughly preparing for the season that would soon arrive.
“Kyuu...”
“Oh! Wonmo, you're awake?”
Wonmo, who had gone into hibernation, had woken up too. His sleepy face was incredibly cute.
He'd slimmed down quite a bit during that short hibernation. I missed how plump he used to be.
So I immediately gave him food. There was some leftover snake meat.
I wanted to buy him a huge slab of meat from the Auction House, but he'd only just woken up.
Giving him something heavy right away might upset his stomach, so I fed him something simple.
“Nom nom. Nom.”
“Is it good?”
“Kyu!”
After eating the snake meat, Wonmo started getting his energy back.
I hugged Wonmo and rolled around with him for the first time in a while. That alone made my heart feel warm.
“Wonmo, I'll introduce you to the neighbors.”
“Kyu?”
After rolling around for a while, I decided to introduce Wonmo to the raccoon family.
It was still chilly, but the weather was gradually warming up.
Maybe because of that, Wonmo didn't retreat into the cave even while shivering a little from the cold.
“Say hello. This is the raccoon family. This is Papa Raccoon, this is Mama Raccoon, and this is Baby Raccoon.”
“Kyuu?”
“Ke, keng!”
“Kkiing...”
“...”
Even though I politely introduced them, their reactions couldn't have been more different.
Wonmo tilted his head in innocent confusion, while the raccoon family was scared.
At least Papa Raccoon looked like he was forcing himself to greet Wonmo, but the other raccoons weren't.
No matter how young Wonmo was, he was an Owlbear, a predator. Behind that cute appearance was a ferocious beast.
The raccoon family trembled even at snakes, so they couldn't help being afraid.
‘As long as he doesn't see them as prey.’
Could that really happen? If Wonmo saw them as prey and attacked, I planned to stop him immediately.
I'd feel terrible for the raccoon family, but I'd have no choice but to make them move somewhere else.
It was an unavoidable choice if we wanted everyone to coexist.
After they finished greeting each other...
“Kyuuuu! Kyuu!”
“Kkiing! Kking!”
Wonmo happily ran around the yard with Baby Raccoon on his back.
Maybe he was happy at the thought of having a friend instead of prey, because he had the brightest smile on his face.
Baby Raccoon had been scared at first, but quickly adapted to riding on Wonmo's back.
‘Mm. Very good.’
As long as I fed Wonmo well, a disaster wouldn't happen.
Now that the neighbor introduction was done, I logged into the Gallery and made a post.
I couldn't be the only one who got to see something that cute.
[Post title] Wonmo Is Awake
[Author] Wild Grylls
[Post] (Video of Wonmo playing while carrying Baby Raccoon on his back)
[Post] And he's getting along with the neighbors. Looks like they'll be good friends from now on lol
└ [Heavenly Demon]: This puts my heart at ease.
└ [PrincessChaenggu]: So cute hehe
└ [Starlight Princess]: I wish every post were this heartwarming.
└ Don't worry. If there's an emergency, that raccoon will go right up in flames lol
└ Emergency rations lol
└ [Starlight Princess]: You really are pieces of shit.
There were a few emergency-rations jokes, but most people thought Wonmo and Baby Raccoon were cute.
Satisfied, I checked the time. There was still a long time until dinner.
[Gallery] What the hell did Kadir even say?
[Gallery] Fuck, this drama is blowing up again lol
[Gallery] But if the Wizard King said that much, isn't it seriously bad?
[Gallery] The Holy Kingdom is seriously fucked;;
[Gallery] Rough Summary
I browsed the Gallery to check the time and see whether anything interesting was happening.
There seemed to be talk about Kadir, so I entered the featured post. It was on fire.
‘Why is Kadir being mentioned?’
The Wizard King, Kadir, was a famous figure who was mentioned often in the Gallery.
Besides, hadn't NecromancyIsLove mentioned Kadir to me recently?
It was a topic floating around the Gallery, so naturally I was curious.
[Post title] Fuck, this drama is blowing up again lol
[Post] Kadir even released a public statement, so what happens if the Holy Kingdom pulls this bullshit?
└ What did he say?
└ Kadir met the Pope himself. Then he got pissed and secretly broadcast every record of the meeting lol
└ ??? Is that even possible? It's the Papal Palace.
└ He's the Wizard King;;
└ It's not that the Papal Palace is weak, Kadir is just absurdly powerful
[Post title] Rough Summary
[Post] Kadir: Confess your sins to God while you still can.
[Post] Papal Palace: Nah, fuck off. We'll handle it ourselves.
[Post] Kadir: What you need to look to isn't God, it's the people of the Holy Kingdom.
[Post] Papal Palace: “The people are dogs and pigs” has entered the Gallery.
└ Did they really say that?
└ Of course they didn't lol
└ They did say something pretty close to the dogs-and-pigs line lol
└ They're not about to start a civil war, right?
└ There's no central figure, so who knows. If the Hero were here...
[Post title] Currently in front of the Papal Palace
[Post] (Video of a protest)
[Post] (Video of protesters shouting insults)
[Post] (Video of protesters throwing stones)
[Post] (Video of the Holy Knight Order blocking the way)
[Post] (Video of a bard playing an instrument to give strength to the protesters)
└ Everything else aside, what the fuck is that bard doing? lol
└ This shows why adventurer parties need bards lol
└ Wow, having a bard mixed in with that noise totally changes the feeling lol
└ Just watching it makes me feel stronger lol
It looked like Kadir had thrown another log on the fire.
The Holy Kingdom had already been in chaos over Ludwig, and now the meeting records had been exposed too.
‘Dogs and pigs...’
It seemed there were people everywhere who treated their citizens like dogs and pigs.
I snorted and closed the Gallery. It was probably best not to log in for a while.
‘Will things calm down by the time I escape?’
Or would the entire Holy Kingdom be on fire by then? I had no idea.
After shutting down the Gallery, I turned my head toward the yard.
“Kyuuung!”
“Kkiiiiing!!!”
Wonmo was repeatedly throwing Baby Raccoon into the air and catching them.
Wonmo was only doing it for fun, but Baby Raccoon must have been terrified for their life.
Papa Raccoon and Mama Raccoon looked like they were trying to tell him to stop, but it was useless.
“Hey! Park Wonmo! Don't do that!”
I hurriedly stopped Wonmo. He still had a long way to go.
* * *
“Prrr.”
“...”
Ludwig was still riding the giraffe.
He blankly looked down at the animal blocking his path.
“Prrr.”
“Hmm.”
The animal blocking his way was none other than a horse.
One with white and black mixed across its body, a so-called zebra.
A holy knight riding a giraffe, facing off against a zebra blocking the path.
It was a truly strange standoff.
‘It looks dangerous. Those tattoos are awfully conspicuous out on the grasslands.’
Tap, tap.
Ludwig lightly nudged the giraffe with both legs. The giraffe obediently began to walk.
Ludwig's strange adventure was still ongoing.
Footnotes:
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