WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: ZERO_SUGAR
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◈ Got a Gallery in the Wild ◈
Chapter 26: Breathing Technique (2)
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With Heavenly Demon and SwordTasteMaster's help, I somehow managed to sense mana.
It went pretty well when I tried to repeat the sensation I'd experienced the first time.
But the real problem came afterward. Every time the mana that started in my lower abdomen completed a full circuit, my stomach hurt.
Once or twice would have been one thing, but from the moment it completed a full circuit, the pain got so bad I couldn't bear it.
It was bad enough to make me wonder if I needed to build a separate bathroom. Even going somewhere far away and coming back was hard.
‘And why am I sweating so much?’
I didn't even feel like I was exerting myself, but sweat was pouring from my entire body.
Not normal sweat, either. It was pitch-black.
Like the filthy bathwater I'd only ever heard about. It looked disgusting.
“Blech!”
The smell was horrific too. I almost threw up.
It felt like every kind of waste had clumped together.
“Kyuek! Kyueeek!”
Wonmo, whose sense of smell was better than mine, was practically having a seizure.
The second he caught the scent, he moved far away from me.
Seeing him huddled in the corner of the cave and growling, it must have been really bad.
I should probably wash again. Wonmo might kick me out of the cave otherwise.
Even though night had fallen, sleeping like this could make me sick.
‘What the hell is going on?’
I filled a tub with water and lit a fire beneath it.
It would take too long to wait for the water to boil, so I got in right away.
As soon as I sank into the water, the coolness of the stream water spread through my whole body.
I let out a groan of relief, then decided to ask the Gallery for help.
[Post title] Is Mana Circulation Supposed to Be Like This?
[Author] Wild Grylls
[Post] I'm circulating mana like you told me to, but every time it makes a full circuit, I feel like I need to take a shit. Is that normal?
└ [Heavenly Demon]: This is the first time I have heard of someone needing to defecate whenever they perform Qi Circulation and Breath Regulation.
└ [SwordTasteMaster]: Me too. Couldn't there just be something wrong with your intestines?
└ [Wild Grylls]: I haven't eaten anything;; And it's not diarrhea either.
└ Ugh. Gross.
└ Fuck, I'm eating curry and you're talking about shit.
└ Actually, you're eating curry-flavored shit lol
└ Oh, seriouslyㅡㅡ
It was a pretty filthy subject, but I was serious.
If it had been diarrhea, I could have understood to some extent. That would mean I was sick.
But since it wasn't, I couldn't help being suspicious.
The only thing I'd eaten so far was Fasting Pills.
└ [Heavenly Demon]: The only thing that comes to mind is impurities being expelled from your body... Is there anything wrong with you?
└ [Wild Grylls]: Well, I'm not a pig.
My body was, to be honest, close to overweight.
I wasn't skinny, but I wasn't noticeably fat either.
Still, I'd probably built up visceral fat from eating nothing but ramen to save money.
└ [Heavenly Demon]: That happened when you consumed Fasting Pills as well. At the moment, that is all I can think of.
└ [SwordTasteMaster]: Or maybe it really is because of your constitution.
└ [Wild Grylls]: Does the same thing happen when fat people learn Breathing Techniques?
└ If that were the case, I'd have learned a Breathing Technique first lol
└ For real. You can get healthy just by breathing? I'd start right away lol
Apparently, learning a Breathing Technique didn't change your body type.
That was because changing your physique fell under External Martial Arts, while Breathing Techniques concerned Internal Energy, or so they said.
Still, they explained that the two complemented each other, so it was good to take care of your body.
└ [Heavenly Demon]: Do you have any other symptoms?
└ [Wild Grylls]: I'm sweating pitch-black sweat, and it smells terrible.
└ [Heavenly Demon]: It seems impurities truly are being expelled from your body.
└ [Wild Grylls]: Is that a good thing?
└ [Heavenly Demon]: It is beyond good. It is abnormal. You would normally need to reach at least the Transcendent Peak Realm.
└ [Wild Grylls]: So it's not bad, right?
└ [Heavenly Demon]: It is not bad, but just in case, I believe it would be best for you to focus solely on Qi Circulation and Breath Regulation for the time being.
In the end, my Breathing Technique lessons stopped at Qi Circulation and Breath Regulation. She said she would teach me the formula later.
I didn't particularly want to object, so I accepted it without complaint.
My stomach hurt every time mana made a circuit, but there was nothing I could do about it.
‘It's not nutrients leaving my body instead of impurities, right?’
I wanted to eat more Fasting Pills just from the anxiety alone.
But if I did, my Johnson might burst, so I figured I should hold back.
“Whew.”
Why couldn't a single thing go according to plan?
Getting dropped into this damned forest in the first place was the problem.
While I was wallowing in self-pity, I raised my head and looked at the sky.
The night sky was beautifully embroidered with countless stars.
‘...Right. There's no need to rush.’
The water was gradually warming up too.
I finished up by scrubbing every part of my body with soap until it squeaked.
I planned to deal with the water left in the tub the next day. It was too dark to do it safely now.
After drying myself thoroughly with a towel, I browsed the Gallery until my hair was dry.
The Gallery was active despite the late hour. It was mostly overflowing with pointless posts.
[Post title] A gallery user is so fucked right now
[Post title] I wanna quit my job.
[Post title] This is what they call a blue ocean, right?
[Post title] The river's been warm lately.
[Post title] Fucking knife-ears planted trees again.
[Post title] Emeeeergency!
That was the sort of thing people posted. It was so familiar that I even felt attached to it.
After diligently browsing the Gallery, I made a quick post.
As always, it was a post marking the end of my day.
A flood of comments came in at once, but I skimmed them and closed the Gallery.
Maybe it was because I'd learned a Breathing Technique today, but sleep came rushing over me.
‘Where should I go tomorrow? Repairs? Breathing? Exploration?’
No matter what I chose, I'd suffer. That wouldn't change.
Before closing my eyes, I checked on Wonmo first.
He was lying right beside me, trying to sleep.
At least having him around made me feel a little less lonely.
‘I’d better chop down trees diligently, if only for the money.’
My eyes slowly fell shut.
Sleepiness washed over me, and I couldn't think anymore.
I'd worked hard today, so I should rest well for tomorrow.
‘I'll get out... right?’
I held on to the hope that was slowly fading away.
* * *
Sleep was extremely important to every animal.
Humans were no different. The desire for sleep far surpassed both appetite and sexual desire.
If you failed to get proper sleep, you could assume your whole day would be ruined.
On the other hand, if you got enough deep sleep, you could wake up feeling fresher than ever.
[Post title] Another bright and hearty morning!
[Author] Wild Grylls
[Post] If someone asks me, I am Wild Grylls![1]
└ [Heavenly Demon]: You are awake. Do you feel any discomfort?
└ [Wild Grylls]: Not at all. I actually feel much more refreshed than usual.
└ [SwordTasteMaster]: It's probably because of the breathing exercise. It might be even more effective if you do it as soon as you wake up.
└ [Heavenly Demon]: It is likely because of the breathing exercise. It would be good to do it once before sleeping and once after waking.
└ [Heavenly Demon]: You insolent wretch. I was about to say that first.
└ [SwordTasteMaster]: You're quite slow.
└ [Heavenly Demon]: Being fast is not always good. Accuracy is what matters.
└ [SwordTasteMaster]: I agree with that part, but speed is more important.
└ [Heavenly Demon]: That pursuit of speed is how one falls into Qi Deviation.
└ [Starlight Princess]: You're awake. Does anything hurt?
└ [Wild Grylls]: Not really. You're really better now, right?
└ [Starlight Princess]: Yes. I went outside the estate and ran as soon as I woke up.
└ [Wild Grylls]: You've really gotten healthy.
└ So Grylls is the only one left now?
└ What is Grylls going to do now that he's lonely? lol
└ Will he beat the princess's record?
└ [Starlight Princess]: You are all so mean. I'll help him avoid beating my record, so please don't worry too much.
Heavenly Demon and SwordTasteMaster had started bickering first thing in the morning, while the now-healthy Starlight Princess left a comment.
I thought about how many posts I'd made wishing for Starlight Princess's recovery.
As far as I could remember, it had been around 110 days.
That was roughly three or four months. Would I be able to get out by then?
‘By then, I won't be adapting anymore. I'll just be living here.’
I only browsed the Gallery briefly before checking on Wonmo.
He was still a baby, so despite me getting up, he was still deep in dreamland.
I might wake him if I moved around for no reason, so I checked the Auction House first.
‘Let's see... The things I put up yesterday...’
The items I had listed yesterday were the Owlbear carcass and wood. I had put both up for auction.
Because of the brutal commission fees, auctions were structured so the person who listed an item lost out.
But I cared more about selling things than the commission, so I was curious.
[System] Owlbear Carcass: 200 nyang of silver
[System] Forest of Four Seasons Wood: 10 gold
“Oh?”
They were worth quite a bit. The wood was one thing, but the Owlbear's price was pretty high.
Silver was the currency of the Central Plains, and I had heard that one nyang of silver was roughly equivalent to 10 gold.
That meant the Owlbear carcass was worth around 2,000 gold.
‘Why is it so expensive? Is it because of the bear gall?’
An Owlbear was a kind of bear, so bear gall would probably be expensive.
Either way, I could sell it for a high price, so it didn't matter.
‘The wood is pretty expensive too.’
I could earn 10 gold every time I chopped down a tree? I was ready to become an environmental criminal.
‘Though I'd probably wreck my body first.’
At the very least, I needed to reach the point where I could cut down a tree in a single swing of my axe.
Until then, I planned to avoid logging for money.
‘I need trees for the defensive wall anyway.’
After roughly organizing what I needed to do, I sat cross-legged.
Following Heavenly Demon and SwordTasteMaster's advice, I began the breathing exercise.
Once each in the morning, afternoon, evening, and before bed.
Doing it around four times a day was the standard, but there was an exception.
That was when you consumed an elixir. They said it was essential because you needed to gather the elixir's energy.
‘Then do I need to do this every time I eat?’
Fasting Pills were supposedly elixir-grade, so it was probably mandatory.
I closed my eyes and practiced breathing as I had learned yesterday.
‘Starting from my lower abdomen, I should feel it make a circuit through my whole body...’
Controlling it was difficult at first, but it became easy afterward.
The problem was how badly my stomach hurt each time it made a circuit.
I worried whether today would be the same.
‘Through my heart and head, then back to my lower abdomen.’
Heavenly Demon had said it was dangerous for a beginner to circulate mana through the heart and head.
You had to advance your realm to a certain point before you could open those paths, but mine had opened as soon as I started.
I'd gotten a nosebleed because of it, but I'd never been in danger.
‘Back to my lower abdomen.’
The mana that had circulated throughout my body returned to my lower abdomen.
Unlike yesterday, I didn't feel any stomach pain or anything else.
Maybe everything that could have come out had already come out.
I made a few more circuits, then slowly ended the breathing exercise.
“Whew.”
I exhaled and slowly opened my eyes.
The first thing I saw was a pair of bright golden eyes.
When I gazed quietly into them, the furry creature tilted his head.
“Kyuu?”
It was Wonmo. He had apparently watched me from right beside me while I performed the breathing exercise.
The fact that he hadn't interrupted showed that he could read the room.
I stared at Wonmo for a moment, then chuckled.
“Are you hungry?”
“Kyuu!”
“How is it that you seem to understand everything I say?”
“Kyuu?”
“Maybe not?”
It didn't really matter. I bought a suitable piece of meat from the Auction House.
When I gave it to Wonmo, he devoured it with obvious enjoyment.
He might be thirsty too, so I should probably give him some water.
Trickle, trickle-
“Hmm?”
But the water wasn't flowing properly.
It was coming out, but the pressure was absurdly weak.
Either something had happened to the hose overnight, or something was wrong with the river.
“What a pain.”
I wasn't going up there right away. Water was still coming out, at least.
I gave Wonmo water, then ate a Fasting Pill for breakfast.
Now, instead of three at a time, I only ate one per meal.
It tasted just as bitter by itself. One might actually be better.
‘It's fine to test it right away, right?’
As soon as I used the cultivation method, a different reaction occurred.
Something that had been clumped together inside me broke down and merged with the mana.
The thing that had broken down was probably the energy of the Fasting Pill. I circulated my mana in that state.
Nothing changed dramatically. My stomach didn't hurt, and I felt fine.
‘Maybe my body got used to it because I've eaten so many?’
That might have been it.
Either way, breakfast was taken care of. It was time to go fix the hose.
I grabbed my sword and shield, then looked at Wonmo.
Perhaps because he knew I was leaving, Wonmo was staring right at me.
“You need to stay here. Got it?”
“Kyuu.”
“Oh, and if your stomach hurts, poop outside. Don't poop in the cave.”
“Kyuu.”
Wonmo answered cutely. It sounded like he understood.
Well, even if he didn't understand, I could potty-train him slowly. There was no need to rush.
I petted Wonmo a few times before stepping out of the cave.
‘Do my sword and shield feel lighter? Is it just me?’
Maybe it was because I'd gotten a good night's sleep, but my sword and shield felt lighter.
It wasn't just that. My whole body felt incredibly good.
The change was so sudden that I couldn't help thinking of the Inner Energy Cultivation Method from yesterday.
Still, it might only be like this today. I shouldn't get my hopes up too much.
‘It would be nice if I felt like this every day.’
Thinking that, I headed for the river.
When I arrived at the place where I had worked on the hose, what came into view was...
Splash! Splash!
“...What is this now?”
A red fish was completely blocking the waterway.
‘It looks like a Magikarp.’
That was roughly what it looked like.
Footnotes:
[1] The two adjacent lines parody the Korean “Waldo-speak” game-localization meme.
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