WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: ZERO_SUGAR
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◈ Got a Gallery in the Wild ◈
Chapter 28: Thief (2)
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A sloth.
In Korean, its name was a combination of the words for tree and slowpoke.
Just like its name suggested, it was famous for moving at an unbelievably slow pace.
People even said zoologists who studied them for two years got so frustrated that they gave up.
You'd think that would put it at a huge disadvantage in the wild, but sloths were surprisingly practical animals.
The beauty of slowness: moving slowly meant using less energy.
‘But this is the Forest of Four Seasons?’
I had no idea whether that beauty of slowness applied here too.
Even now, it was moving at a snail's pace despite having come right up to me.
It was clearly after the fish in the tub.
Still, I wasn't sure whether sloths were omnivores. This was the kind of situation where I needed the Gallery.
[Post title] What the hell is this thing?
[Author] Wild Grylls
[Post] (Photo of a sloth caught trying to steal the fish)
[Post] I went up to the river and came back down, and this thing was here.
[Post] Looks like it got caught trying to steal the fish. Do sloths eat meat too?
└ [Heavenly Demon]: That face just screams composure. Be careful.
└ [???]: You don't know what a sloth is?
└ She's telling him to be careful of a sloth lol
└ This is ridiculous lol
└ [Heavenly Demon]: You'll regret it once those vicious claws pierce you.
└ [Allfather]: I didn't know sloths lived in the Forest of Four Seasons. They should inhabit jungles.
└ [Wild Grylls]: Sloths don't eat fish, right?
└ [Allfather]: Leaves are their staple food. And sloths cannot walk. They have to crawl. Yet that specimen supports itself with both arms like a gorilla. Perhaps it isn't a sloth after all.
└ [Wild Grylls]: (Video of the sloth moving incredibly slowly)
└ [Allfather]: It is a sloth. What the hell is that thing?
└ [Wild Grylls]: I don't know either.
└ That video gave me cognitive dissonance lol
└ Whoa, even the professor has never seen one like it.
└ Isn't this basically research material?
└ [Allfather]: It may be research material, but be careful. Every plant and animal living in the Forest of Four Seasons has a weapon of its own.
Heavenly Demon and Allfather both told me to be careful.
The difference was that Allfather's caution came from the unknown, while Heavenly Demon's was closer to instinct.
Either way, I couldn't wrap my head around being told to watch out for this sluggish sloth.
‘Honestly, I could just catch it.’
I could grab the thing with my bare hands if I wanted to. Still, I had no intention of doing that.
It might spread disease, or bugs might bite me if I messed with it.
Wonmo was fine because I'd scrubbed him clean. This thing was different.
‘First, I need to chase it off.’
It had its eyes on my fish, so I wasn't about to let it stay.
I felt a little bad about killing it, though, so I only planned to scare it away.
“Shoo. Shoo. Get out of here.”
“......”
I tapped it with the back of my sword rather than the blade, and the sloth slowly backed away.
Even watching it retreat was enough to drive me crazy because it moved so slowly.
Still, this fish was for my lunch. I couldn't give it away, even to a sloth.
“Go eat leaves. That's what you're supposed to eat.”
“......”
“You look like you don't want to. Why not? Go climb a tree. There's plenty to eat up there.”
“......”
The sloth's normally relaxed expression changed a little.
Its face shifted ever so slightly, as if it were angry.
It looked as though it were saying, “You broke that tree.”
If that was really the case, then I was sorry. But I absolutely couldn't give it the fish.
“That look won't work on me. Hurry up and leave.”
“......”
“Tch. This isn't going to work.”
It didn't back away anymore, even when I nudged it with the back of my sword.
I looked around and picked up a suitable branch.
Poke. Poke.
Only after I prodded it with the branch did the sloth finally retreat.
If I pushed it all the way back to a tree, wouldn't it go home?
Grab!
“Huh?”
But the world rarely went the way I wanted.
The sloth grabbed the end of the branch.
I was startled for a moment, then pulled back to take the branch away.
Squeeze!
“What kind of strength is that...?”
I couldn't pull it free. The sloth was stronger than it looked.
Maybe that was only natural for an animal that climbed trees. Its arms had to be strong.
Rather than waste time in a pointless strength contest, it would be better to find another branch.
‘Or should I just put on gloves and pick it up?’
That would probably be better. The gloves were in my pocket.
After putting them on, I moved behind the still painfully slow sloth.
It barely moved at all before I got behind it. The same went for when I grabbed it by the back.
“Hup.”
“......?”
When I lifted it up, the sloth's expression turned surprised.
Even its change in expression was as slow as its movements.
It was amazing that such a laid-back face could make that expression.
Only after carrying the sloth over to a tree did the matter finally end.
Now I just had to grab the antidote and go hunt the Golden Frog.
‘It's not coming this way again, is it?’
I turned around with a feeling of dread. Sure enough.
It was diligently making its way back toward me. Watching it made me feel sorry for it.
What the hell was so special about that fish that it was this obsessed? A sigh escaped me.
‘...This won't do.’
Talking(?) alone wasn't going to cut it. I needed to threaten it more clearly.
That sloth was a thief trying to steal my precious meal.
I aimed my crossbow at the sloth as it cautiously approached.
I didn't want to kill it outright, so I planned to fire at the ground and just scare it.
Shuffle. Shuffle.
‘...This is seriously frustrating.’
I was wasting this much time because of one slowpoke.
If I were cruel, I would've put a hole through its head already.
But the sloth hadn't directly harmed me.
Every animal I'd killed until now had threatened my life.
I aimed the crossbow at the ground and fired where the sloth wouldn't be hit.
Thwip! Thunk!
The bolt shot forward and embedded itself in the dirt.
The sloth slowly lowered its head.
It stared intently at the bolt lodged in the ground, then raised its head again.
Slowly. Slowly.
“I'm going insane.”
What the hell was going on inside that thing's head?
Even after all this, it showed no sign of backing down.
Eventually, too frustrated to take it anymore, I asked the Gallery for help.
[Post title] How do I chase this thing away?
[Author] Wild Grylls
[Post] (Video of the sloth approaching)
[Post] It keeps eyeing my fish. I picked it up and moved it to a tree, but it's still doing this.
[Post] I even threatened it with a crossbow, but it keeps coming. Anyone got advice?
└ [Heavenly Demon]: What determination. Learn from it.
└ [SwordTasteMaster]: Why not just give it the fish? Feels like it'll keep bothering you otherwise.
└ [Wild Grylls]: Guys, please. I want to eat a proper meal too. Wonmo eats better than I do.
└ lol
└ lol
└ That's genuinely sad lol
└ Why the hell is that thing acting like that? Is there something in the fish?
└ [Wild Grylls]: I think it's because I broke its house.
└ Why'd you break its house?
└ [Wild Grylls]: I cut down a tree, and apparently that was its house.
└ Does that sloth talk?
└ [Wild Grylls]: Nah, just a gut feeling lol
└ So you were just talking bullshit lol
└ Grylls. Are you really going to be a man who loses to a sloth?
└ [Wild Grylls]: It's not that, but killing it feels kind of wrong.
└ Just kill it and eat it, or give it to Wonmo. That's better.
└ [Wild Grylls]: Does that thing taste good?
└ Nah, I heard it tastes bad. That's why they survived being hunted by humans.
└ [Allfather]: This is my first time seeing a sloth act that way... How interesting.
└ Even the professor's never seen it?
└ [Allfather]: I don't know the Forest of Four Seasons well either. I don't even want to go near it.
There wasn't any advice that could actually help.
Most people just suggested killing the sloth.
But sloths tasted bad, and their hides were probably so poor they wouldn't even sell.
It would be fine if Wonmo killed it, but then I'd have to deal with the aftermath.
‘That doesn't mean I can give it the fish.’
Judging by that idiotic determination, it would steal the fish eventually, even if it took time.
I could finally have a proper meal for the first time in ages, and I was supposed to give that up?
Not a chance. I loaded a bolt and aimed it at the sloth.
This time, I would aim somewhere that would make the threat clear, not at the ground.
Even a creature as slow as that would realize it was in danger if a bolt flew past its head.
‘If I accidentally kill it...’
I'd probably feel a little bad.
I aimed beside the head of the slowly approaching sloth.
The moment it took another step, I pulled the trigger without hesitation.
Ping!
The bolt barely grazed past the sloth's head.
Despite nearly dying, its expression remained utterly relaxed.
Did it really not realize it had almost died, or was it simply too slow?
It was so shameless that I let out a hollow laugh.
‘This won't work.’
I abandoned the idea of scaring it away.
Maybe it would come to its senses once it got a hole in its body.
I needed to hunt the Golden Frog right away, but I'd wasted too much time.
I hardened my resolve and aimed at the sloth's shoulder.
I already had a bolt loaded. All that remained was firing.
‘Don't ever come back.’
I muttered those words to myself and pulled the trigger.
There was no hesitation. I'd already given it several chances.
Thwip!
The bolt shot forward, aimed right at the sloth's shoulder.
It had been strong enough to make even an Owlbear go berserk after taking one hit.
A creature with weaker hide than an Owlbear should be pierced right through.
Yeah. If my prediction was right, that was what should've happened.
Whoosh!
That is, if the sloth hadn't lightly twisted its body to dodge.
It evaded the bolt by a hair just before it struck.
Far from being slow, it moved with incredible agility.
“Huh?”
Watching it happen in real time, that was the only stupid sound I could make.
What had I just seen? Had the sloth really dodged a bolt?
After freezing at the impossible sight for a moment, I hurriedly loaded another bolt.
The last one had to be a coincidence. It was so slow that it moved in a way I hadn't predicted.
I reassured myself and aimed the crossbow again. The sloth was still moving slowly.
Thwip!
The crossbow bolt fired again.
Swish!
As if to prove I hadn't imagined it, the sloth dodged the bolt with a quick movement.
That was absurd enough, but its next action was even more unbelievable.
It started slowly walking toward me again like nothing had happened.
‘...It's dangerous.’
I narrowed my eyes and stayed on guard. This wasn't something I could take lightly.
It had seen a bolt and dodged it. And it had done so with ease.
A bolt flew extremely fast once it left the string. Just seeing it and reacting was difficult.
[Post title] Can anyone dodge an arrow after seeing it?
[Author] Wild Grylls
[Post] Isn't that hard? Heavenly Demon and SwordTasteMaster, please don't answer.
└ [Heavenly Demon]: Why exclude this lady?
└ [Wild Grylls]: I feel like if I ask Heavenly Demon, you'll just say it's easy.
└ [Heavenly Demon]: You know this lady so well now. I'm proud.
└ [SwordTasteMaster]: It's kind of easy. You just look at it and dodge.
└ [Wild Grylls]: Hoo...
└ You don't dodge after seeing it. You have to predict the path.
└ Yeah, and watch the archer's hands. Then it's kind of easy.
└ Easy my ass lol. It hits you the second the archer lets go of the string.
└ Bet most of the guys saying it's easy have shields lol
└ Caught me lol
└ But why are you asking?
└ [Wild Grylls]: A sloth just saw a bolt and dodged it.
└ ???
└ ????
└ What kind of bullshit is that now?
└ [Wild Grylls]: I wish it were bullshit too.
Even when I asked the Gallery, everyone said it was difficult.
They said the speed of a bolt after leaving the string was too fast for an ordinary human eye to follow.
When I said a sloth had done it, nobody believed me either.
‘I don't believe it even though I saw it.’
While that was happening, the sloth got closer.
By my rough estimate, it was about ten meters away now.
At this distance, it would be hard for it to dodge after seeing the bolt.
I aimed the loaded crossbow at the sloth.
Now that it had proven to be dangerous, there would be no more mercy.
‘This time, I'll aim for its head.’
Without the slightest hesitation, I pulled the trigger.
The instant I pulled it, the sharp bolt shot toward the sloth's head.
If it continued like this, the bolt would pierce the center of its head and kill it.
But this was the Forest of Four Seasons, a place inhabited by all kinds of bizarre plants and animals.
Grab!
“...Holy shit.”
The sloth caught the bolt aimed at its face with one hand.
Then it slowly lowered the hand covering its face and stared at me.
The sloth's utterly relaxed expression seemed to be telling me this.
-Too slow.
That was what it seemed to say.
Footnotes:
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