WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: ZERO_SUGAR

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◈ Got a Gallery in the Wild ◈

Chapter 3: Fortuitous Encounter (2)

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What was the most dangerous thing in the wild?

The three great poisons: poisonous plants, insects, and snakes? Correct.

Or mushrooms, the ultimate gamble? Correct.

Or maybe starvation or dehydration? Also correct.

Outside the bounds of civilization, everything in the wild was dangerous. Even the ground beneath your feet wasn't safe.

And humans, individually, were pathetically weak. Without tools, you probably couldn't even beat a large dog.

"Woof! Woof! Woof!"

"Woof! Woof!"

A pack of large dogs was barking fiercely at me right now. The problem was, they weren't ordinary large dogs.

They were as big as cows. In a fantasy world, even stray dogs had ridiculous stats.

'Luckily, they're too big to come any closer...'

I'd deliberately run into a densely wooded area, taking the dogs' size into account.

The place where I'd found the herb was decent too, but it was open on all sides. Plus, the trees were thin.

So I'd bolted. I hadn't forgotten the sword Heavenly Demon gave me or the bundle of food.

After that, I'd backed myself against a massive rock wall and dug in.

The dogs didn't seem willing to force their way between the trees. They were just watching me.

Which meant they were intelligent. They knew I had the advantage.

'What do I do?'

Was my only option to wait it out? Hopefully, those dog bastards would just leave.

Still, you always had to prepare for the worst. I immediately logged into the gallery.

They weren't attacking yet, so I planned to get some help through the gallery.

[Post title] Need urgent advice on dealing with dog bastards

[Author] Wild Grylls

[Post] (A photo of fucking huge dogs glaring through the trees)

[Post] How do I deal with these dog bastards? Any ideas?

└ Aren't those Mad Dogs? Why are they so huge?

└ Even Sword Experts struggle against those things.

└ Rest in peace. I'll pray for you.

└ You'll probably die of rabies the second they bite you lol.

└ [Wild Grylls]: You bastards, stop answering a question with another question.

None of these assholes were any help. I frowned.

As time passed, the Mad Dogs would keep looking for an opening. I had to figure something out.

└ [Heavenly Demon]: No! You must not die! Please, don't die before I can repay your kindness!

└ Why are you so heartbroken lol?

└ Anyone would think you two were dating lol.

Heavenly Demon's not-quite-encouragement comforted me. Not that it was any actual help.

Still, the more comments piled up, the more people would see the post. I just hoped one of them had something useful.

└ [DontAbandonTheHero]: Ah! I've seen those monsters a lot! Their weak point is the nose! Stab it with a sword, and they'll be stunned for a few seconds!

└ How does the Head Mod know that?

└ Aren't they rare monsters?

└ [DontAbandonTheHero]: I'm the Hero! I know how to deal with every monster and magical beast!

Fortunately, a passing Head Mod kindly gave me some advice. Just as I was about to feel encouraged...

└ [SwordTasteMaster]: But wouldn't you need to be at least a high-level Sword Expert to do that? As far as I know, you would.

└ The world's most useless phrase: "as far as I know" lol.

└ What happens if it doesn't work?

└ [SwordTasteMaster]: They'll go berserk and destroy the trees and everything else. Then you'll die.

└ [DontAbandonTheHero]: So you have to cut off their heads or stab their hearts before that happens! I can do it!

Fuck. The Head Mod was a monster wearing human skin. And how did SwordTasteMaster know that too?

I didn't know what a Sword Expert was, but I knew it was monster-tier by my standards.

└ [Wild Grylls]: Fuck, isn't there anything for regular people? All I've got is the sword Heavenly Demon gave me.

└ Regular people never run into those things;; Are you really in the Forest of Four Seasons? Are you a criminal?

└ Nope, not that. They say criminals have their eyes gouged out before entering the Forest of Four Seasons so they can't use the gallery.

└ Holy shit, that's insane;;

└ The Four Seasons Forest blocks gallery access entirely, don't it?

└ It's "doesn't," not "don't."

└ Yeah, I heard it's because mana gets tangled up.

└ Just hit it in the head. Even if the dog bastard's big, it's still a dog.

└ For real lol.

* * *

All kinds of pointless shit came up, but there was only one conclusion: hit it in the head.

Truly useful information. About as helpful as saying, "People die if they don't drink water."

└ [Heavenly Demon]: My sword is a peerless blade among peerless blades. Cutting through those stray dogs' heads should be effortless. Trust me.

└ [SwordTasteMaster]: How good is it? Better than Durandal or Excalibur?

└ [Heavenly Demon]: What are those? It was forged from ten-thousand-year cold iron, at any rate.

└ LMAOOOO.

└ Ten-thousand-year LOL cold iron.

└ Is ten-thousand-year cold iron supposed to be some everyday material or something? Lol.

Thus spake the Heavenly Demon: her sword was a sword among swords.

I looked at the sword after hearing that. It definitely had no ordinary sheen.

I could tell it had been carefully maintained. With the advantage of the terrain, I could take them on.

'Fuck it.'

I stared at the largest dog, the one standing in the center.

There were three dogs in total, and the one in the middle was the biggest.

It was probably the leader. Without hesitating, I charged at it.

"Woof! Woof!"

The two flanking the leader began squeezing through the trees.

"It's a trap, you bastards!"

I pretended to target the leader, then went after its underlings instead. The one on the left came first.

More than half its body had already emerged, so I brought my sword down vertically on its head.

I didn't know a damn thing about swordsmanship, so it felt less like cutting and more like hitting.

Swish.

"Huh?"

Something was strange. I'd definitely swung down, but the sword had passed cleanly through the dog's head.

For a second, I wondered if I'd missed. Then the result appeared.

Crack!

The dog's head split vertically with a crack.

Thud!

It collapsed with its tongue hanging out. Even its tongue had been split down the middle.

I stared blankly at the dog. I hadn't felt anything through the sword.

At most, it felt like cutting tofu. That was unreal in its own way, and I froze.

"Woof!"

Ah. Right. There was one more.

The instant I heard the sound behind me, I swung my sword on reflex.

It had gotten so close that my body moved before I could think.

Splat!

Thankfully, the dog didn't pounce on me. Its head and body simply separated and fell to the ground.

Just like before, I barely felt the blade cut. I looked back and forth between the dogs' corpses in disbelief.

There was one thing I understood for sure.

Heavenly Demon was a god, and this sword was invincible.

"Grrr..."

"Ah. You were still here."

One leader dog remained. It glared at me warily.

Tension hung between the thick trees. Who would back down first?

Obviously, the leader dog did. It looked back and forth between its dead underlings, then slowly retreated.

It must've realized it was the one at a disadvantage as long as I had this sword. Smart dog.

"Whew!"

The danger had passed. I let out a tense sigh.

What would've happened if I hadn't found the herb by chance earlier, or if Heavenly Demon hadn't given me the sword?

I still didn't have a compass, so I couldn't wander around freely. I'd have to wait until Heavenly Demon sent one.

'Ah. I should thank her first.'

I immediately wrote a post on the gallery.

[Post title] Heavenly Demon is a god

[Author] Wild Grylls

[Post] (A photo of dead dogs on the ground and a tightly gripped sword)

[Post] This sword is invincible.

└ Holy shit, you killed those?

└ That sword is fucking good lol.

└ [SwordTasteMaster]: A clean cut. Even with a good sword, that wouldn't be easy.

└ [DontAbandonTheHero]: You're alive! What a relief! I guess there won't be anything to be sad about today!

└ [Heavenly Demon]: Are you hurt anywhere?

└ [Wild Grylls]: Thanks to you. Thank you for the great sword.

└ [Heavenly Demon]: That's a relief. I was worried something had happened to you.

Even through the post, her worry practically dripped off the screen. This warm person was the Heavenly Demon? No way.

She even talked like my late grandmother, which made me feel even more attached to her. Leaning against the rock wall, I rested and browsed the gallery.

└ [SwordTasteMaster]: If you have nothing to do, would you like to learn swordsmanship? You seem to have talent.

└ [Heavenly Demon]: Silence! I shall personally pass on my secret martial arts manual to this one! How dare you!

└ [SwordTasteMaster]: Ah, don't be so strict. Do you use a sword too, Heavenly Demon?

└ [Heavenly Demon]: I am proficient in every weapon. If I had to choose one, it would be the sword.

Come to think of it, SwordTasteMaster seemed older. Unlike the others, they used proper punctuation and spaces.

I wasn't the type to care much, but if someone was polite to me, I was polite back.

About halfway.

└ [Wild Grylls]: I need survival supplies more than swordsmanship though...

└ [SwordTasteMaster]: That's true. I'll think about it and come back.

└ [Heavenly Demon]: I shall descend the mountain at once. I will certainly send the items you mentioned.

That was enough gallery browsing for now. I got up.

If I sat around here any longer, other animals might smell the blood and come over.

It hadn't been a fierce battle, but the tension had drained a lot of my strength. I should get moving.

'A place to hide until the compass arrives...'

Rumble rumble rumble!

Then, without warning, the ground began to shake. I blinked, then hurriedly stood up.

First wild animals, now a natural disaster? What kind of bullshit was this?

Something felt strange, though. The moment I pushed away from the wall, the vibration seemed to lessen.

Before I could figure out what was causing that strange sensation, the wall behind me changed.

Grrrrrrk!

"...Oh, God."

The wall was rising. Literally, the wall was rising.

Before long, a massive rock wall was pulled up like a root. It didn't take me long to realize the rock wall I'd been looking at was a leg.

The thing turned from an ordinary rocky mountain into a two-legged giant in an instant. I stared at it, then logged into the gallery.

[Post title] What the hell is this thing?

[Author] Wild Grylls

[Post] (A photo of a fucking enormous rock giant standing tall)

[Post] Title says it all.

└ Oh, fuck? Isn't that a Rock Guardian?

└ Why the fuck is a Guardian there lol?

└ Isn't that hard even for a Swordmaster to kill? Lol.

└ Dude, what are you doing?! Run!

Everyone was losing their minds, telling me to run. I turned around without hesitation.

I didn't forget the bundle of food on the ground, though. Heavenly Demon had given it to me, so there was no way I was abandoning it.

└ You get 50,000 gold if you kill that lol.

└ [Wild Grylls]: FKYUBITCHIDONTNEEDIT

└ You're browsing the gallery even now;;;

└ Can someone translate that?

└ Isn't that "Fuck you, bitch, I don't need it"?

└ Sounds right lol.

└ Fucking lunatic lol.

I barely managed to escape. I leaned against a tree to catch my breath.

I could still hear heavy thudding in the distance, but it was fading. It wasn't coming this way.

'This is driving me insane.'

I'd barely gotten through one crisis when another one came along. What kind of fucked-up forest was this?

'It isn't really the Forest of Four Seasons, right?'

I prayed it wasn't. They'd said the Forest of Four Seasons prevented people from accessing the gallery at all.

I gasped for breath, then logged into the gallery.

The alerts had been going off nonstop while I ran, so I had no choice but to check.

└ [SwordTasteMaster]: It's easy to counter. Cut off one leg, and it'll lose its balance. Then stab your sword into the Core in its chest.

└ Why are you explaining it like instant ramen instructions lol?

└ ???: As Bob Ross would say, "See? Easy, right?"

SwordTasteMaster was kind of far from normal too. What kind of person were they, anyway?

Like I had with Heavenly Demon, I checked SwordTasteMaster's post history.

[System] You Can Do It Too! Advanced Swordsmanship Lecture 15 - 2 hours ago

[System] You Can Do It Too! Advanced Swordsmanship Lecture 14 - 1 day ago

[System] You Can Do It Too! Advanced Swordsmanship Lecture 13 - 2 days ago

"..."

Oh, fuck. They were a sword-crazed maniac.

Every single post was a swordsmanship lecture. A different kind of lunatic.

They had fewer posts than Heavenly Demon, but unlike her, who mostly made shitposts, theirs were packed with effort.

A pointlessly diligent lunatic. Nothing described SwordTasteMaster better.

One post stood out above all the rest.

[Post title] Looking for a life partner.

[Author] SwordTasteMaster

[Post] Requirement: Must be stronger than a Swordmaster.

└ How strong are you, dude?

└ [SwordTasteMaster]: Not telling you.

└ Bullshit lol.

There were no normal people in the gallery.

Footnotes:

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