WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: ZERO_SUGAR
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ Got a Gallery in the Wild ◈
Chapter 39: Fireball (2)
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There was a saying: If you don't have teeth, use your gums.
It meant that when the best option was gone, you had to think of the next best one.
Since magic, my best option, was no longer available, I needed to settle for the next best thing too.
It was still magic, technically. Just magic with a little physics mixed in.
Similar to Fireball, but with slightly different properties.
Pop!
With some difficulty, I pulled the cork free from deep inside the bottle's neck.
Thankfully, the dwarf had given me an opener along with the liquor.
“Ugh...!”
The moment I pulled the cork out, I couldn't help but frown.
How was I supposed to describe this feeling?
It was like the reeking stench of alcohol was beating the hell out of my nose.
Like a hired thug had barged in and shoved every other smell aside.
“Urgh!”
Even the Fast Sloth clinging to my back was horrified.
The thing usually never made a sound, but it was holding its nose. That told me just how awful it was.
‘Did they give this to me to drink? This is basically poison.’
I was really curious about its alcohol content. It had to be absurdly high.
At this strength, I probably only needed to mix in a little oil.
‘Should I just taste it?’
It would be a waste to throw it away, so I decided to take one sip.
Even if I got drunk, it wouldn't be a problem. I had an Inner Energy Cultivation Method.
I'd vaguely heard that practicing a cultivation method could drive away drunkenness.
I stared at the liquor, still giving off that horrific alcoholic stench, then quietly brought it to my lips.
Gulp.
Surprisingly, it tasted sweet.
There was the usual bitterness of alcohol, but the sweetness was stronger.
‘Not bad?’
I thought I could drink this like a regular beverage.
For exactly two seconds.
“Gah! Urrrgh!”
Something was wrong. I'd definitely swallowed liquid, so why did my throat feel like it was on fire?
Had I swallowed fire? No, had I drunk hydrochloric acid?
I clutched my throat in agony. Then I realized.
That dwarf bastard had actually given me poison!
The realization was quickly followed by a threat to my life. I couldn't die like this.
As I groped around the floor for an Elixir, the pain gradually started to fade.
The pain was severe enough that I would have used an Elixir if it hadn't begun to subside.
“Ugh...”
I rubbed my throat, which still stung. A few tears slipped out.
I didn't know what the dwarf had given me, but it wasn't liquor. It was pure poison.
Otherwise, my throat wouldn't hurt like I had acid reflux.
I wasn't exaggerating. Even if I gulped down hydrochloric acid straight from the bottle, it probably wouldn't hurt this much.
‘The dwarf couldn't have deliberately given me poison.’
Did they really drink that stuff as liquor? My respect was growing by the second.
With a sigh, I stepped outside for some water.
After drinking from the hose, the burning pain finally eased.
‘That stuff could probably catch fire, too.’
There was no need to fill the bottle entirely with oil.
The Muscle Mushroom was still a mushroom, so it should burn well.
If I filled it up for no reason and the fire spread, I'd be in trouble.
‘First, let's see how well it burns.’
After heading back into the cave, I splashed a little liquor onto the floor.
Then I held the Ignition Stone to a branch I'd picked up. It was dry, so it caught easily.
Holding the Ignition Stone directly to the liquor could have been dangerous, so this extra effort was necessary.
Whoosh!
“Oh.”
The moment I brought the flame close, it burst into flames.
Its high alcohol content must have made it highly flammable.
This meant there shouldn't be any problem if I just threw the bottle.
‘Come to think of it, it's a glass bottle too. Perfect.’
Now that I'd confirmed it worked, all that was left was making it.
Making a Molotov cocktail was simple, but also trickier than it looked.
If I got it wrong, I could end up burning alive. Its power was no joke, either.
I'd heard they were even useful for taking out tanks in war.
‘First, I need oil.’
I planned to mix the oil and liquor in the right proportions.
Like I said earlier, I didn't know what would happen if I filled it entirely with oil.
At the very least, it needed to be easy to put out.
‘And sand, too.’
Sticky oil combined with sand sounded perfect.
I got vegetable oil from the Auction House. Someone was selling it there.
For sand, I dried some that was scattered nearby and added it.
Lastly, the most important part: the wick. This part was a little confusing.
‘If it burns too quickly, I'll be in danger.’
It had to burn slowly enough while still catching fire easily.
Taking all that into account, cloth seemed best. Still, I needed to test it.
I bought scrap paper, old newspapers, cloth, and other flammable materials from the Auction House.
‘Cloth is definitely safest.’
The experiment proved that cloth was the most suitable.
I immediately stuffed a strip of cloth into the bottle's mouth. Even with chopsticks, it took some effort.
Lastly, I turned the bottle upside down to see if the liquid inside leaked.
The cloth was thick, and there didn't seem to be a problem.
[Post title] Learned Fireball.
[Post] (Photo of an improvised Molotov cocktail)
[Post] Call me a fire mage. An illegal one.
└ [Passing Dwarf]: ??? Isn't that the liquor I gave you?
└ [Wild Grylls]: Yeah, that's it. It was fucking strong lol
└ [Passing Dwarf]: Don't tell me you threw it out without even drinking it?
└ [Wild Grylls]: Nah, I took one sip. Thought I was gonna die lol
└ [Passing Dwarf]: Damn, the assassination almost worked.
└ [Wild Grylls]: Are you insane? You call that liquor? I'd rather drink rubbing alcohol.
└ [Passing Dwarf]: It was pretty expensive, though lol
└ Why are you making a Molotov cocktail? What are you planning to do with it?
└ [Wild Grylls]: I'm using it to kill a Mushroom Man. If its body catches fire, won't the spores burn too?
└ It is a straightforward approach. Didn't know you'd know how to make a Molotov cocktail, though ;;
└ [Wild Grylls]: How do people usually kill them? With a mage?
└ You just throw a bottle of oil, then throw a torch. Safer that way.
└ This is probably better for Wild Grylls since they're alone.
└ Fire mage, physical edition lmao
└ [Starlight Princess]: Fireball is really easy... It isn't difficult...
└ [Wild Grylls]: Professor?
└ [Starlight Princess]: No. I'm just a little disappointed. Discovering the principles of magic one by one is an incredibly pleasant experience.
└ So this is magic (math)?
└ Magic has always been advanced mathematics.
└ What did you mix in? Did you add oil?
└ [Wild Grylls]: Half oil, and the rest is liquor and sand. If the fire spreads somewhere else, I'm fucked.
└ You're not planning to burn everything and spray water on it afterward, right?
└ [Wild Grylls]: I'll cover it with sand. I'm not that stupid.
└ You know your stuff? I almost reported you for arson lol
└ [Wild Grylls]: Go ahead and report me. I'd love that lol
└ Oh shit lmao
└ Lmao
└ Lmao
└ [Allfather]: You should be careful if the Mushroom Man catches fire. The spores will explode the instant it releases them.
└ [Wild Grylls]: I'll be careful. Are the spores especially weak to fire?
└ [Allfather]: They are weak to it, but it's also instinct. When their lives are threatened, scattering their offspring is a living creature's instinct.
└ [Wild Grylls]: Thanks for the advice. I'll go kill it right away.
└ Do you really have to kill it?
└ [Wild Grylls]: Yeah. A rabbit passed through there, and I need to kill the Mushroom Man if I'm going to set traps there.
└ Then there's no helping it.
└ [AllHailTheSun]: Are you going to use the Golden Shield I gave you?
└ [Wild Grylls]: I should bring it, at least. It could block one hit.
└ [AllHailTheSun]: I'll give you an even better shield later. Just wait.
└ [Wild Grylls]: I'm fine, though...
└ [AllHailTheSun]: Well, I'm not.
Preparations were complete. All that remained was gearing up properly.
I didn't need the crossbow, so I packed everything else.
The Molotov cocktail was a bit cumbersome, though. It seemed I needed to buy a small bag.
‘I'll just pick something up.’
I bought a small bag from the Auction House, one I could hang from my waist.
I stored the Molotov cocktail and Elixir inside. Just in case, I also put in a bottle of oil.
I thought that was everything, but then I remembered one unexpected item.
‘Ah. I need a shovel too.’
I needed a shovel to cover the fire.
Sword and shield in hand, shovel slung over my back. Done.
It was time to kill the Muscle Mushroom.
“Guard the house well.”
“...”
I asked the Fast Sloth, which had somehow climbed down from my back, to watch the house and started walking.
Wonmo was peacefully napping even as I left. He was cute, so I'd let it slide.
Everything was ready. With a little tension in my chest, I headed out.
I had to deal with the Muscle Mushroom to set traps and catch the small animals around it.
While I was at it, I could check out the inside of the cave the mushroom had been blocking.
‘What's inside?’
The traps mattered, but I was curious about the cave too.
There had to be a reason the Muscle Mushroom was blocking it.
‘It isn't a dungeon, right? The mushroom isn't literally a gatekeeper, is it?’
If that was the case, it would be no different from poking a beehive.
They said curiosity killed the cat.
Half worried and half excited, I headed toward where the Muscle Mushroom was.
Rustle.
Something jumped out of the bushes as I walked.
Long ears and an adorable little appearance.
“Squeak?”
It was a rabbit. A rabbit had suddenly appeared.
The moment it saw me, it raised its body high. Its long ears stood up too.
Anyone could see that it was wary of me. Still, the way it chewed was ridiculously cute.
“Hey, get out of here. Shoo. Shoo.”
I had no intention of hunting it right now, so I lightly prodded it with my sword.
Maybe even that felt threatening to the rabbit.
Clang!
The rabbit suddenly kicked my sword with all its strength. Not the blade, but the flat of it.
The clear ring told me how much force was behind that kick.
It was strong enough to make me lose my balance and stagger.
“What the...?”
I couldn't hide my shock as I watched the rabbit flee into the bushes.
One kick nearly knocked me over.
Even the rabbits living in the Forest of Four Seasons were different.
If that kick hit someone, it would probably crack a bone at minimum.
‘What kind of fucked-up forest is this?’
Now even rabbits were dangerous. This was absurd.
If I wanted to set traps, they needed to be the lethal kind.
Otherwise, that rabbit would destroy every single one.
My head already hurt, but hunting the mushroom came first.
“...Found it.”
I followed the familiar path until I reached the Muscle Mushroom.
It was still stationed in front of the cave like a gatekeeper.
It wouldn't wake unless I approached. Carefully, I took the Molotov cocktail from my bag.
Crackle!
When I lit the wick with the Ignition Stone, it began burning fiercely.
I stared at the Muscle Mushroom, which still didn't move at all.
As expected, it was the type that only stood up when someone got close.
“Hyah!”
With a powerful shout, I threw the Molotov cocktail as hard as I could.
The flaming bottle spun through the air, forming a ring of fire.
The Muscle Mushroom remained rooted to the ground until the Molotov cocktail reached it.
Crash!
Before long, the bottle struck the mushroom's body and shattered into pieces.
Whoosh!
A massive blaze began to engulf the entire mushroom.
The easily burning oil and liquor made the flames even stronger, while the sand clung to it thickly.
“Kuoooo!”
Perhaps sensing the danger, the Muscle Mushroom began pulling its limbs from the ground.
I didn't miss that opening and charged in as planned.
The fire was hot, but I only had to do this once. I could manage.
Slash!
Before one of its legs could pull free, I cut it off with my sword.
No matter how muscular it was, it was bound to fall without a leg.
Thud!
The Muscle Mushroom, missing one leg, collapsed onto the ground.
The flames burned even harder.
Boom!
“Argh!”
Then a small explosion suddenly went off.
It was a good thing I was far away. Otherwise, I might have been caught in it.
The blast was only about as strong as a firecracker, but burns could still be fatal.
‘It released its spores.’
Allfather's advice had been right on target.
It seemed to have scattered spores to spread its offspring, only for them to explode in the flames.
It thrashed around for a while. Once fire had spread over its whole body, it gradually became still.
Maybe because it was a mushroom, the burning smell wasn't unpleasant. It was strangely fragrant.
‘That doesn't mean I'm going to eat it.’
Thanks to the strategy I'd come up with beforehand, I killed it easily.
Still, I planned to wait a little longer to make sure it was dead.
Crackle! Crackle!
Time passed, and the Muscle Mushroom burned completely black. The fire slowly began to die down as well.
Figuring this was enough, I pulled out the shovel I'd slung over my back.
Then I covered it with sand and neatly extinguished the fire.
‘Something might come over after smelling it.’
The scent was so fragrant that it might draw the attention of animals.
After considering what to do, I decided to move the mushroom.
‘There could still be embers, so I should push it somewhere with less grass.’
Using the shovel, I pushed it into a corner.
Even if animals came, they would be more interested in the mushroom than the cave.
Cleanup was done, so I looked into the cave that the Muscle Mushroom had been guarding.
The angle of the sunlight was wrong, leaving the cave completely dark.
I could see just fine in darkness.
Still, I would need a torch for a proper investigation.
‘Luckily, I brought a strip of cloth.’
I picked up a large branch from the ground.
After wrapping it with cloth, I lit it with the Ignition Stone.
Whoosh!
The torch lit up, and the cave's interior brightened in an instant.
The inside was generally similar to where I lived.
It was spacious in every direction and felt comfortable.
‘Not bad...’
I stopped as I looked around the cave.
Thanks to the torch, I could see what was at the far end.
There wasn't a dangerous beast there. It just stood out so much that it startled me.
Sparkle! Sparkle!
“...A mushroom?”
A golden mushroom was shining brilliantly.
‘A poisonous mushroom?’
It looked disgusting no matter how you looked at it.
Footnotes:
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