WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: ZERO_SUGAR

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

◈ Got a Gallery in the Wild ◈

Chapter 91: Eel (2)

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I might not have any use for it anymore, but my manhood was still very precious.

And it wasn’t just me. Every man probably felt the same way.

Even friends who’d cackle if you broke a leg would sincerely comfort you if something went wrong down there.

That was how serious your balls were. The asshole was the one who made fun of it.

And right now, I was facing the greatest crisis of my life as a man.

Maybe it was because I ate eel yesterday, but my tent showed no sign of going down.

Could eating just one eel really do this? Then again, this was the Forest of Four Seasons.

I’d spent an entire day burning with fever after eating a single fish before.

‘Ah, please. I really don’t want to ask people about this.’

Desperate, I searched the Gallery for people with symptoms similar to mine.

But all the guys there were the same. They only bragged.

There were occasional stories about people whining after getting kidney stones, but that was it.

It was hard to find anything about a serious problem like mine.

‘Should I post about it in the Gallery...?’

I had no choice but to seriously consider it. It was a little, no, very embarrassing.

The Gallery guaranteed anonymity, so I could shamelessly post it, but this was different.

Some of my friends were the kind to stay polite even in games.

They just couldn’t bring themselves to act shamelessly. I hadn’t understood that before.

But now that I was in an actual emergency, I couldn’t help agonizing over it.

‘No. I’ll ask Allfather first.’

Allfather was highly knowledgeable, so he should be able to help.

And since he was another man, he’d listen seriously.

Hoping Allfather was well versed in medicine too, I sent him a message.

[You]: Allfather, are you here?

[Allfather]: What is it?

Thankfully, Allfather seemed to be hanging around the Gallery. I relaxed.

Still, there was no point relaxing if I couldn’t find a solution.

Praying things would go well, I told him about my symptoms.

[You]: I’m in a somewhat dangerous... situation, I think.

[You]: Especially dangerous for me as a man.

[Allfather]: Did your penis or testicles burst?

Allfather said something rather terrifying.

If that had happened, I’d have already left this world.

Still, I was just a step away from bursting.

[You]: Not quite that bad yet.

[You]: But since I woke up this morning, it just won’t calm down;;

[Allfather]: Hmm. It seems to be because you ate eel yesterday.

[Allfather]: It was eel from the Forest of Four Seasons, after all.

[You]: Is that really it?

[Allfather]: Yes. When I woke up this morning, I was also quite...

[Allfather]: Hahaha.

That hearty laugh seemed to carry a lot of meaning.

What the hell was in eel that it worked as well as an energy tonic?

None of that mattered, though. Treatment came first.

[You]: Can it be cured?

[Allfather]: Yes. Though first, I’ll need to explain the theory. Is that alright?

[Allfather]: It’ll make the treatment easier.

[You]: Is medicine not enough?

[Allfather]: Since this is related to the energy inside your body, Grylls, your own effort is most important.

No wonder even Elixir hadn’t worked. I’d even applied it down there, and it had done nothing.

It only made it sturdier. Call me a fucking idiot, I wouldn’t have anything to say.

I was fucking serious right now, goddammit.

I just hope it’s easy to understand.

[Allfather]: Yes. According to my research, each sex possesses its own unique energy.

[Allfather]: In the Central Plains, they call it yin and yang. It can also be explained medically.

Was he talking about hormones?

I listened closely to Allfather.

[Allfather]: Yang energy governs physical traits such as muscles, body hair, endurance, and so on.

[Allfather]: Some say it may be related to hair loss, but that hasn’t been confirmed.

[You]: Does that mean eel contains yang energy?

[Allfather]: It does not.

[Allfather]: It simply amplifies that energy.

[Allfather]: The problem is that a man’s energy gathers most easily in the scrotum.

Allfather’s explanation was simple. Eating eel had caused my yang energy, in other words my male hormones, to surge.

There was a high chance those surging hormones had gathered in my crotch and caused this whole mess.

It might sound ridiculous, but this was a fantasy world.

A place where things that sounded ridiculous to me were common sense.

[You]: What’s the cure?

[Allfather]: Since you’ve learned the Inner Energy Cultivation Method, it should be easy.

[Allfather]: Imagine dispersing the energy gathered in your crotch throughout your body.

[You]: That sounds incredibly easy.

[Allfather]: The real question is whether you can focus on the Inner Energy Cultivation Method while it’s still erect.

Ah.

Hearing that, it sounded much harder. The Inner Energy Cultivation Method was training that required intense concentration.

It was getting painful down there, and I had to use the Inner Energy Cultivation Method in this state. I felt hopeless.

[Allfather]: If that’s too difficult, there’s an easy method.

[You]: What is it?

[Allfather]: Cut it off, or take care of it yourself.

[Allfather]: Those are your two options.

[You]: ;;;

Cutting it off was absolutely out of the question. I thanked Allfather and began the Inner Energy Cultivation Method.

I had to resolve this somehow if I wanted to get through this crisis.

‘Focus on the energy gathered in my crotch, not my lower abdomen.’

Anyone who saw me would think I was a pervert.

But I was serious. I had to keep my pride and joy from bursting, didn’t I?

Trying my best to ignore that extremely distracting part of myself, I gathered my energy.

“Phew...”

It wasn’t easy. I could clearly sense the energy gathered in my dantian, but sensing it down there was difficult.

Still, I had to do it. I concentrated with everything I had.

Shaaaaa-

Perhaps my concentration had worked. I could feel the tightly gathered energy slowly thinning out.

My joy at that sensation lasted only a moment before something strange happened.

‘Huh? Huh?’

The gathered energy began spreading throughout my body.

It was alarming, but before long, the lump-like energy scattered like powder.

I wouldn’t have been so flustered if that had been the end of it. A change happened immediately after.

The flow of mana in my body hadn’t just sped up. It had become much stronger.

Not just my mana, but my overall physical abilities felt like they’d been forcibly pumped up.

My heart pounded violently, and I could breathe far longer than before.

The sudden change left me utterly bewildered.

‘F-first, let’s keep circulating everything.’

I had no idea what might happen if I stopped here. I maintained my concentration until the end.

I barely matched my long, measured breaths to the storm-like flow of mana, gradually calming my pounding heart.

‘Heaven is supreme, looked up to by all things...’

Just in case, I even recited the mnemonic verses Heavenly Demon had taught me.

Rather than calming the storm, I imagined myself matching its rhythm.

I handled the energy by adapting to it, not controlling it.

If I didn’t, it felt like I’d be swept away by the storm.

Thump! Thump! Thump-

A moment later, my heart gradually calmed, and the flow of mana settled as well.

After steadying my breathing a few times, I ended the cultivation method and opened my eyes.

“Phew.”

I shook my head. It felt as though I’d become one with the storm.

What would have happened if I’d chosen control instead of adaptation?

With my low proficiency, I probably would’ve failed.

‘The mnemonic verses Heavenly Demon taught me are surprisingly good.’

Reciting them during a crisis helped a lot.

For a moment, I wondered what the next mnemonic verses would be, but I decided to wait patiently.

‘...It didn’t burst, right?’

With that thought in mind, I checked inside my pants.

Thankfully, it was still intact. Sorry for being such a pathetic owner.

Something very strange had happened since morning, but I’d gotten through it safely.

‘I shouldn’t post this on the Gallery.’

I was too embarrassed to post it. I’d rather write it in my diary.

Now that I understood eel’s effects, I could at least write that down.

‘It’s better to share eel when possible. Gorging on it alone can cause problems.’

It was a perfect diary entry. Picture, effects, precautions. Nothing was missing.

That was how I began an eventful twelfth day.

First, I posted on the Gallery to let everyone know I was alive.

[Post title] Wild Grylls Is Awake

[Author] Wild Grylls

[Post] (Photo of a campfire burned down to charcoal)

[Post] Day 12 begins today.

└ [Heavenly Demon]: You woke up late for once.

└ [Wild Grylls]: Something happened this morning.

└ [Heavenly Demon]: Was it dangerous?

└ [Wild Grylls]: Personally, it may have been the greatest crisis of my life.

└ [Heavenly Demon]: It is fortunate that you resolved it, then.

└ [Allfather]: It seems you resolved the matter well.

└ [Wild Grylls]: Thanks to you, haha;;

└ [Passing Dwarf]: Hey. That eel you gave me yesterday definitely worked lol

└ [AllHailTheSun]: Same lol. I’m feeling confident again for the first time in a while.

└ [KingLeor]: My wife squeezed me dry this morning...

└ [Smart Demon]: I thought the eel was some kind of medicine.

└ I only gave everyone one piece, and they’re all like that?

└ It must be because it came from the Forest of Four Seasons.

└ Then what about Grylls? Grylls stuffed his face with even more all by himself.

└ Maybe his morning problem was that it wouldn’t go down?

└ Pfft lol if that’s what happened, it really was a crisis lol

Apparently, I was the only victim(?).

Too much of anything was bad, and this happened because I’d gorged myself on more.

Next time, I should share the eel. Assuming I caught any, that was.

‘Do I need to start being careful about what I eat too...?’

I’d ask Allfather, but I was the one who had to endure the symptoms.

Sighing, I stood up. It was time to start the day.

The first thing I needed to do was make repairs. I’d decided on it yesterday.

This could no longer be a simple base. I needed to turn it into a complete hideout, which meant carefully improving it.

‘The barricade was supposed to arrive at noon.’

First, I needed to adjust the barricade’s position.

Since the moat had been converted into a drainage ditch, the drainage ditch often ran beneath the barricade.

It would be better to place the barricade outside the drainage ditch instead.

‘I’ll need to use some strength.’

The barricade was slightly taller than my eye level.

Pushing it without mana should have been impossible...

Grrrrk-

“Huh?”

So why was it moving all of a sudden?

I’d only given it a light push as a test, but the barricade slid away.

Thinking the ground might be slippery, I checked, but that wasn’t it at all.

Even on dirt, it shouldn’t have moved this easily.

‘What? Was I imagining it?’

Thinking I might have been mistaken, I pushed harder. I didn’t use any mana.

Grrrrk!

Amazingly, the barricade moved easily.

That didn’t mean the barricade was light. Absolutely not.

The marks it left dragging across the ground made that clear.

In other words, my strength had become much greater than before.

‘It was the same as always until yesterday.’

Could I really have gotten this much stronger from one eel? Eel was the only explanation that came to mind.

It seemed absurd that eating eel could make me this strong, but where was I?

This was the Forest of Four Seasons, where I had to accept every strange thing that happened.

After dragging the barricade around, I lifted its lower end just in case.

The barricade came up far too easily.

‘...This is nice.’

I finally understood why athletes juiced.

Footnotes:

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