WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Satori
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ Healers Are Not Tools ◈
Chapter 19: A Scrub Server Where the Leaders Get Wiped Out in a Server First? Pew Pew!
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“Everyone, follow me in! Follow me! Come on! Come on!!!”
Kang Minseo was leading the raid group, far more fired up than she'd been an hour ago.
Well, strictly speaking, she was just yelling that she was going to charge ahead and wanted enough healing to stay alive!
“Oh... Wow, Hana. Hana. Hey, Hana! There really aren't many NPCs here. How do you know all these routes?”
“Thanks to overseas wikis. They've got more players than we do, so they post more information.”
“Really? Wow, but you still looked up and checked all the NPC locations yourself, right? Right?”
I wasn't lying.
Discoveries like the patrol routes of the opposing faction's guard NPCs had first come from well-known overseas communities.
The fact that I'd played Lost of Fantasy long enough to remember them was another matter entirely.
[PissBloodAndIllRipYourGutsOut]
「Don't go inside the palace.」
「Tell the gunners to fire their area attacks from where you're standing now.」
「Once she's attacked, she'll come outside on her own.」
“But, Hana, if you're going to type out instructions in that much detail, why don't you just lead the raid yourself?”
“No. Then I might have to lead raids later.”
I was seriously never, ever going to be a raid leader again.
“Besides, half these people came because they got riled up on the forums, and the other half came from watching streams, right? Having some ordinary player like me lead wouldn't be any fun.”
“So you're putting Kang Minseo up as a puppet because people at least know her face?”
“Hey, calling her a puppet is a bit...”
“A figurehead boss!”
Where did a high school girl even learn terms like that?
“Oh, oh... Ahem! Everyone! Gunners in parties one and two!”
Someone unfamiliar with Lost of Fantasy's systems might have thought Kang Minseo was holding an imaginary microphone and talking only to her viewers, but that wasn't the case.
In LoF, you could use voice chat in-game as soon as you changed your party into a raid group.
“Everyone, come over to me and use an attack you can fire without a target... Ah! Yes! That one! Please use that!”
The raid members, who'd barely listened to our instructions at first, were now making a real effort to move exactly as we wanted.
Yeah, honestly, you didn't want to follow orders because you had no idea what we were doing, right?
But once we actually started smashing the opposing faction, everyone seemed to decide that listening was in their best interest. They were behaving very nicely now.
- Oh what the hell lol
- Wait, the High Elf Queen comes outside?
- This looks like one hell of a cheese strat. How does that player know this? lol
- Holy shit, there are tons of guards inside, but only the queen is walking out
“Wow, wow! She really is coming outside...? E-everyone! I'll use Taunt to keep her focused on me! Mages, please use your crowd control skills and stuff!”
Just as I remembered from that old trick, the High Elf Queen trudged outside alone.
“Is she hard to beat inside, Hana?”
“If we were all at the level cap, we'd have more than enough firepower, but none of us are level sixty yet, right? Besides, it's cramped in there. If the other side sets up a proper defense, we can easily end up looking like idiots.”
“Oh... That's amazing... Her royal guards? Anyway, those NPCs aren't coming either. This is seriously a total freebie!”
Before Im Harin could even finish marveling, the High Elf Queen who'd trudged outside came under focused fire from fifty players.
No, including the hundred who'd followed us, roughly a hundred and fifty or more Demon King's Army players.
Her health began dropping in an instant.
“Wow, this... Fighting her inside would've been damn hard. Ha! Look at those Allied Coalition players rushing out now!”
- Too late now, huh?
- Your queen's already at half health lol
- Wow lol. But I can see why they'd feel cheated
- Guts isn't a paladin. That's freaking Zhuge Liang
- Are we actually getting this kill?
The Allied Coalition players who rushed outside could do nothing but watch helplessly.
The attacks pouring onto the High Elf Queen were vicious enough, but the area attacks our DPS players were blindly spamming around that NPC were no joke either.
Obviously, getting hit by just one area attack didn't hurt much.
But when thirty, forty, or even more mages, gunners, and Warlocks were spamming those attacks, brushing against them meant dying before you could even say, “Huh?”
“Oh, she's going down... We've got her. Ah! We've got her! We got her!!!”
《 You have earned the ‘Once the Most Noble?’ achievement! 》
“Oh! Oh! Everyone! Killing the High Elf Queen really does give an achievement! That's amazing. We're the first, right? Right? Aren't we? Nobody's done it on another server either, right?!”
The moment the achievement notification appeared, Im Harin jumped out of her seat with both arms raised, while Kang Minseo clapped wildly.
...It wasn't really that big a deal, though?
Would these two cry if they ever got a world-first kill...?
“Pff, hahahahaha!!! Ahhh! Seriously! Those guys aren't getting any sleep tonight! They all crawled out like losers to stream-snipe me and camp my corpse, only to get their asses kicked!”
“What was that, huh? Wasn't that a little too easy, Minseo?”
“Minseo! We totally crushed them!”
Well... In Legend of League terms, it did feel like we'd blown up the enemy Nexus.
I couldn't really say the streamers were just making a fuss over nothing.
“Seriously... You scrubs. What made you think you were good enough to come pick a fight with me? Now look, you've lost your leader!”
- They're gonna cringe about this in bed tonight lol
- The Coalition's gonna give those stream snipers so much shit lol
- Dumbasses. Why'd you have to mess with a streamer? lol
- One side gets the game's first-kill achievement, the other gets immortalized as the first losers
Between the flood of chat messages and the streamers' reactions, everyone seemed oddly ready to call it a day.
[PissBloodAndIllRipYourGutsOut]
「Shall we head to the Old Continent now, then?」
“Huh? The Old Continent...?”
[PissBloodAndIllRipYourGutsOut]
「Yes. We're on the New Continent.」
「The Allied Coalition's main base is on the Old Continent.」
“Oh, really? Then we haven't actually taken their main base?”
[PissBloodAndIllRipYourGutsOut]
「Humans/dwarves/high elves/Mikoshi」
「The Allied Coalition has four races and four faction leaders.」
“Ah! Then if we head to the Old Continent and kill the other three too, that's a total...”
“Wow, wouldn't that mean they got absolutely destroyed? If they lose three more like this?”
“Exactly, exactly! A complete stomp, right? By the way, Minseo, have you heard of this? Back in the day, there was something called a royal badge...”
“Well, that should be enough to get them fired up.”
Fortunately, Sky seemed to have traveled to the Old Continent before. I didn't have to type until my fingers hurt to explain the route.
“Wow... Anyone who takes PvP seriously really won't get any sleep tonight.”
Of course they wouldn't. We were about to hand them the achievement for being the first server in Korea to lose every faction leader.
* * *
[★ Fucking hell lol. Everyone on the forum kept saying the Demon King's Army was trash. This feels so good lmao]
Allied Coalition < These fuckers lol
They act like they're so serious about the game, calling Demon King's Army players heretics and fake fans.
All that bullshit, but what's the reality?
Human girls / Mikoshi girls < These fucking weebs started playing because they saw those characters. Yep.
Meanwhile, the “real no-lifers” playing Demon King's Army level something that looks like Sans and go hard at dungeons and PvP lol
These dumbasses came here every day pushing that “Demon King's Army is trash” bullshit, then lost every leader today and called GG lmao
I'd be too embarrassed to do anything but delete my character.
「Why the fuck is this the Allied Coalition players' fault?」
『▶ Whose fault is it, then, you fucking moron? Nobody went to help when the forum was flooded with posts saying you were getting pushed back.』
『▶▶ H-honestly, if it had only been the High Elf Queen, it wouldn't be the forum's fault. But losing all of them does kind of seem like your fault!』
「Demon King's Army bros < Saw some random scrub talking shit, got pissed, and all showed up lol」
「Fucking Coalition pussies act so high and mighty, but they barely even had anyone around level fifty」
「If you're gonna use streamers as an excuse, shut the fuck up, you scrubs lol. The Coalition had more streamers by the end. Fact.」
『▶ Wait, for real???』
『▶▶ Yeah, former pros like Rice and basically the entire pro crowd rolled Coalition, so they had more raw strength. They still lost.』
“Ugh, idiots... That's why you should've gathered when those forum posts went up!”
Sitting alone in a couples' seat, Im Harin sipped her coffee. Slurp. Slurp. She was waiting for Jeong Hana to return from the restroom.
‘Wow... I guess today really was legendary. Everywhere I look, people are talking about how we wrecked them.’
Even a quick look through the forums brought up plenty of stories about Murmur, the server that had lost every faction leader that day.
Murmur was sometimes called the streamer server. With so many eyes watching, what had happened there was bound to become a hot topic.
‘The ending really did feel like a movie... The Coalition had more people, and we actually lost some players, so there were some dangerous moments, too.’
Wiggling her toes, Im Harin replayed every thrilling moment of the day in her mind.
‘But... Hana was the one who made us win all of that, right? She knew all those tricks, too... What was that thing called? Some kind of survival thing? Defensive cooldown? Anyway, she even told us when to use those, so nobody died.’
The more she thought about it, the more impressive Jeong Hana seemed. Harin continued browsing through the forums.
[So who was today's MVP? Kang Minseo?]
[How fucking good are mages, anyway? They make water-bread in dungeons, and they're broken as hell in open-world PvP too lol]
[Paladins < Aren't they actually really fucking good?]
[These leader raids lol. Bet they'll catch on in other servers. They're so much fun.]
“What are you looking at so intently?”
Jeong Hana returned to her seat, giving Harin a light push on the back.
“I've gotta relive the glory, Hana! This is important!”
“What...?”
With a look of disbelief, Hana lightly pressed her elbow against Harin's arm.
“It'll be ten in five minutes anyway. If we're done, shall we get going? You said you didn't need the restroom, right?”
“Yeah, sounds good. Let's head home.”
As she clicked the button to end her session, Harin suddenly turned to look at Hana.
“By the way, Hana, did you know? I was reading the forums earlier, and people were saying you're really, really good at this game. They were all praising you.”
“Me? Why? Kang Minseo was the raid leader this time.”
“Anyone with eyes could tell you did everything. They're not idiots.”
“What...? Anyone could do this much. Without a public face like Kang Minseo, nobody would've shown up. If we'd been short on people, we'd have gotten crushed.”
Harin looked slightly stunned as Hana casually handed all the credit for the day's events to Minseo.
‘Does she... just not care about getting praised for this kind of thing? If it were me, I'd register a forum handle and brag that I was that paladin...’
For now, Harin stood up. As she did, she glanced at the back of Hana's neck and her shoulders.
“Hana.”
“What? It's almost ten, so you need to go home... nnngh?!”
As she spoke, Harin suddenly reached out with her right hand and pressed firmly against Hana's chest.
It was more of a firm push with her hand than a grope, really.
“Are you a pervert, Hana? Why aren't you wearing a bra again?”
“No... That's, no, I'm not!”
“What do you mean, you're not? You're a pervert! Wow, a total pervert! You're such a pervert you never wear a bra when you meet me!”
Harin giggled, simply enjoying teasing her. When Hana raised a hand, she quickly fled into the hallway where the elevator was.
“Hey, you! Do you seriously want to die? It's because I used the washing machine wrong!”
“...Huh? The washing machine? Are you serious, Hana? You're not joking?”
“Yeah.”
Unfortunately, Jeong Hana was hardly someone familiar with bras.
“They're not ruined or anything... It's just, um... I washed them wrong, so they're all drying right now.”
“Really? Then... Oh, perfect. Let's go shopping tomorrow instead of going straight to the PC café.”
What kind of bullshit was that supposed to mean?
That was the feeling behind Hana's stare.
“You don't have enough bras, right? I heard a few things from Grandma, you know. I'll buy you a set. I need a new one anyway, since my boobs have gotten a little bigger.”
“No, I'm fine. I don't need it.”
“Then it's a promise. We're going shopping tomorrow?”
“No! I told you I'm not going!! I don't need it! I'll buy them on Lupang!”
Hana practically screamed, but Harin only smiled brightly.
“You know I know where you live, right?”
Footnotes:
Zhuge Liang is a celebrated strategist from the Three Kingdoms era.
A “royal badge” is Korean gaming slang for a show-off move that humiliates an already beaten opponent, originally associated with StarCraft.
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