WE TRIED TRANSLATIONS

Translator/Editor: Hydrogen B

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

◈ How to Die in the Office Labyrinth ◈

Chapter 14: Good Enough for the Grown-Ups

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Stay calm.

"Hello, my name is Seon Yu-han. I'm a colleague of Hwang Ju-yeon here, someone who shares the same goal as her. Right, Hwang Ju-yeon?"

I kept my voice even and smiled through it.

Since when does "colleague" have to mean workplace colleague?

Labyrinth escape colleague works just fine.

"Ah, yes, that's right. We're colleagues."

Thankfully, Hwang Ju-yeon caught on quick and nodded.

The goose doll went quiet for a moment, unresponsive as a robot with dying batteries.

As if it were deciding whether I really was Hwang Ju-yeon's colleague.

Whatever it decided would determine whether I was about to get beaten to a pulp by these things again.

"Oh! Is that so!"

Ten seconds that felt like ten minutes passed, and the doll's cheerful voice rang out again.

I honestly couldn't relax until that moment.

The first time, too, it had said "oh, is that so" plenty of times before throwing me out. To the other side.

"Nice to meet you, Seon Yu-han!"

The goose doll tipped its long neck toward the interior.

* * *

5-2. Become a colleague of an employee or daycare staff member and enter together.

* * *

"Both of you, please come in! The children are waiting!"

Good grief. These things were frighteningly friendly to anyone they didn't consider a suspicious outsider.

But I couldn't let myself be fooled. They weren't going to treat the children with any particular care.

The Labyrinth is impartial, and because of that, it's unfair.

It makes no allowances for the young, the weak, or anyone, which makes it contemptible.

A very human-centric assessment, sure, but I'm human.

Then again, killing the strong just as readily, without playing favorites, is that actually better than humans, who tend to punch down?

Hard to say.

Anyway.

Different rules might apply to children than to adults, but those rules wouldn't be the kind designed to keep children safe.

"Oh no! Hey, this kid, is this your friend? Are you okay?"

See, what did I tell you.

No mercy just because they're a child.

Despicable.

I rushed in after Hwang Ju-yeon.

The belated thought that maybe I should have gotten the goose doll's permission before moving came to me only afterward.

That's how unpleasant what met my eyes was.

A child who looked about six or seven was standing on a round platform with arms spread wide in a theatrical pose, and the platform was rotating slowly.

Like a little figure on a music box.

"Hey... do you remember the teacher? The teacher did magic for you here earlier."

The child's thin arms and legs trembled, and that small face was twisted and drenched in tears.

No telling how long this had been going on, but it was clearly punishment. Abuse.

"Can you hear us? Can you climb down?"

The child said nothing in response to my question, nodded, then shook their head.

"Oh!"

When Hwang Ju-yeon tried to lift the child, the child slammed their forehead into her with all the force they had.

Hwang Ju-yeon grabbed her reddening nose with a bewildered expression.

I recognized what was in that child's tearful eyes.

Fear.

And that fear wasn't aimed at us.

"Hwang Ju-yeon, just a moment."

I tapped Hwang Ju-yeon lightly on the shoulder and looked at the goose doll.

Standing upright as ever, deceptively harmless-looking as always, its orange beak pointed our way.

"What should I call you?"

"My, how amusing!"

A bright laugh slipped out between those stitched-up beak halves.

"Who do you think I am?"

A monster?

A goose doll?

A horrific killing machine wearing the skin of a stupid-looking goose doll?

"Why, I'm the teacher, of course!"

Fine then.

"Teacher, why is that child doing that?"

"Oh, you mean Ji-ho?"

That child called Ji-ho was clearly in that state because of the Labyrinth's rules. I needed to understand exactly what the situation was before I could fix it.

No point taking the long way around when there was a teacher willing to answer.

"Can't you tell just by looking? Learning how to be a child who is loved!"

"Could you be more specific about what that involves?"

"My, you're very interested in our teaching methods, aren't you? How rewarding. As it happens, there were far too many shortcomings in Uri Saennal Daycare's childcare program, so we're taking this opportunity to completely revamp it."

"Sounds like it should be completely scrapped next time."

"Excuse me?"

"Hm? I didn't say anything."

The goose teacher, who had caught my muttered aside with uncanny precision, tilted that white neck back and forth.

I had no idea what the gesture meant.

"Anyway, the method is simple. You correct them like this, so the image of a child who is loved by those around them becomes second nature."

The goose nodded toward where the child was still trembling.

"Not crying noisily. Not whining and throwing tantrums. Not running around creating a commotion. Not twisting their body all over the place. Not mumbling in ways no one can understand. And look at the result!"

It had been chattering away about what "a child loved by those around them" should look like, and now it spoke with a voice practically bursting with pride.

"Doesn't it look good to the grown-ups."

Oh, sure. Fantastic. You deranged thing.

But whatever my feelings were, I filed every word away carefully in my head.

Those were the rules this child had to follow in this Labyrinthified daycare.

"I can't understand why we haven't been using this wonderful teaching method until now."

Because it's violence, you wretched thing.

Children are supposed to be loud as they grow up.

They should be free to cry and throw fits and run around as much as they want.

If they weren't, grown-ups would quickly forget the children existed at all.

Adults have a way of forgetting even the fact that they themselves were once small children.

And I'm not free from that forgetting either.

"But now you can feel at ease leaving your child at Uri Saennal Daycare. We've fully disposed of all below-standard teachers!"

"Excuse me?"

"Oh, my mistake! Fired. We fired them."

Vile creature.

Disposed or fired.

Both were sinister words outside the Labyrinth, and even more sinister inside it.

Dead was probably the accurate word.

"What's the standard for not getting fired?"

"That's a little difficult to share. Personnel matters are internal to the center, after all..."

I hadn't expected an answer anyway.

"Then, would it be all right for us to take Ji-ho with us now?"

That was what it came down to.

Whether this torment could stop right now.

"Hmm, I wonder."

That plump white body wriggled.

It seemed to be enjoying the sight of the three of us hanging on its every word.

"Oh! Alright! Let's say the two of you are Ji-ho's temporary guardians, and today we'll let him leave early."

The goose teacher had agreed surprisingly readily, then dropped the bombshell.

"There's no need to wait until Ji-ho's mother gets off work. She won't be able to come anyway."

"What? What exactly do you mean by that?"

I thought of the child glancing over anxiously and lowered my voice.

"Ji-ho's mother is gone now."

The goose said it with a grin, practically loud enough to make sure the whole room heard.

"And, come to think of it, the other children. Where are the other children?"

Hwang Ju-yeon asked, her voice shaken. Maybe she'd grown wary of the goose teacher, because her words came out in an awkward formal register.

"My, what a funny question. They're right here."

The goose tilted its head and pointed behind it.

"Ji-ho has so many friends here."

There were countless dolls there.

Toys that had once bitten and stabbed and killed me.

Hwang Ju-yeon recoiled and pointed at the cluster of dolls.

"Don't tell me. Friends? The, the children turned, they turned into those?"

The goose teacher only hummed and murmured a familiar lullaby instead of answering.

The freelance magician's face went pale.

Ji-ho's expression, which had already looked half-dead, didn't need to be mentioned.

"The Labyrinth."

I walked straight past the goose toward the wall where the lockers were.

"Likes to deceive people. No, deceiving people is the Labyrinth's purpose. Because people need to get lost."

Kang Ha-yun... Kim Min-jun... Kim Ji-yul...

"It likes to make people cry, too. Because people need to fall to their knees."

Park Jun-su... Lee Na-yeon... Lee Hyeon-ji...

"I really, really..."

Ji-ho. Jeong Ji-ho.

Here.

I opened the locker. Inside were a sky-blue pouch with a change of clothes and a small, cute bag.

I shut the empty locker and turned around.

"Really..."

I'm sick of it all.

Finding that blood-soaked toy box tucked away in the corner behind the false wall.

Realizing what was crammed inside it.

Guessing that a child who hadn't even started elementary school had probably witnessed the awful death of a teacher.

"Ji-ho."

The child had collapsed, exhausted, into Hwang Ju-yeon's arms and was crying fat tears.

Still watching the goose monster out of the corner of their eye, swallowing the sobs, hiccuping. It was heartbreaking to see.

I quietly signaled what I meant, gathered the child who had slipped loose from Hwang Ju-yeon's hold, and stood up with them in my arms.

"We're leaving this place now, okay?"

Whatever comforting I did had to happen after we were out of this daycare.

I heard soft hiccuping near my ear. No answer.

The arms wrapped around my neck had almost no strength in them.

"Hold on tight. Let's go, Hwang Ju-yeon."

Hwang Ju-yeon slung Ji-ho's bag over her shoulder and nodded, and I adjusted Ji-ho onto my back properly and reached for the daycare door handle.

"My, leaving so soon?"

"Is that a problem?"

"Not a problem, no. Not at all."

Not at all, but.

What a nerve-wracking way to say it. I couldn't just ignore that and walk out.

"Think of how bored the children will be. If their friend goes away."

"So."

The words wouldn't come out politely.

"Hmm."

The goose teacher, humming the lullaby cheerfully, waddled over.

The other toys moved forward one step at a time.

Small and cute-looking, but I knew in my bones exactly how bloodthirsty these things were.

"What do you say to playing with these children just a little longer?"

Rattle, rattle.

"It's locked!"

Hwang Ju-yeon whispered, her face tense.

Startled into fear too, maybe, because the arms around my neck tightened slightly.

Damn it.

I'd thought they'd handed the child over too easily.

"Playing, you say. What, how, until when?"

Since it was a workplace daycare, six o'clock would be the normal pickup time.

Surely they didn't mean to hold us until then.

"You are just too funny!"

The goose teacher burst into laughter, and the toys around it shook as if laughing along.

"Have you never played with children before? Until when, you ask..."

That laughing voice came down like a death sentence.

"Why, until the children are tired, of course!"

Footnotes:

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