WE TRIED TRANSLATIONS

Translator/Editor: Hydrogen B

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

◈ How to Die in the Office Labyrinth ◈

Chapter 4: Ten Minutes Before the Film Starts

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"Chae Jae-ha-ssi! We need to get out!"

"Wh-whoa?"

A blackout, but the lights were coming on?

Something was wrong.

The moment the stage lights flared to life, I knew something had begun. I pushed open the front door of the main auditorium.

Thud!

"You've got to be kidding me!"

Locked.

I should have seen that coming.

This was a labyrinth. That's what they did.

"What, it's locked? Then what about over there?"

Chae Jae-ha, face gone white, ran to the other front door.

"This one's locked too!"

"Let's try the back!"

Chae Jae-ha and I each started up the staircases on either side of the seating area.

The main auditorium spanned two full floors, the second and third, so the rear doors connected up to the third floor.

Clatter, scrape.

While we hauled ourselves up the stairs, grinding years off our knee joints, a white screen descended over the stage.

"This one's locked too! Seon Yu-han-ssi, what about yours?"

"Same here!"

"What do we do? What are we supposed to do? Someone tell me what to do!"

Chae Jae-ha closed the distance in a few long strides and grabbed my shoulders, shaking me.

"You're the one who dragged me in here!"

That was technically true. I had pulled Chae Jae-ha into the auditorium because waiting out in the corridor felt too exposed. I had nothing to say to that.

"If I die in here, it's on you--"

"Dear audience members, welcome!"

A voice from the speakers swallowed Chae Jae-ha's booming declaration whole.

"The film will begin shortly. Please take your seats."

It was a disturbing announcement voice. Every syllable came from a different source, as if spliced together from recordings scattered across hundreds of different places, the pitch and gender and age shifting with each sound.

"Wh-what, what is this now."

"Let's sit down."

"No way! I don't even know what this is! What if spikes shoot up from under the seats or something?"

What kind of movies has this person been watching?

"Please. I'm begging you. Rules are everything in a labyrinth."

"Get off me! You can sit there all you want!"

Chae Jae-ha shook off my hand from his collar and pressed up against the wall right next to the locked rear door.

"Movement is prohibited during the screening, as it presents a risk of accidents."

"Chae Jae-ha-ssi, please just do what it says! There's no telling what happens if you don't!"

"I said no!"

I opened my mouth to keep arguing and then stopped, because the next thing from the speakers made me shut up and listen.

"For a comfortable viewing experience, please refrain from talking and turn your phones off or set them to silent."

A standard reminder about unauthorized recording and filming followed.

"To minimize disruption to other viewers, exit is prohibited from ten minutes before the film starts until the end of the screening."

I switched my phone to silent and checked the time.

"Enjoy the film."

3:45 PM.

So the film started at 3:55. Ten minutes from now.

I used the gap to try to get Chae Jae-ha to sit down.

Chae Jae-ha-ssi I'm sorry I got you trapped in here with me but I hope you understand we're in the same situation I've already mentioned this but a labyrinth is a place built on rules and breaking them can get you killed and the problem is you usually don't know what the rules are except right now they're telling us the rules in advance which actually makes this one of the safer and friendlier kinds and besides if it weren't for me you'd still be on that elevator so you'd be dead so could you please just trust me one more time I have no reason to want to put you in danger and besides if this is a film it'll probably run for about an hour are you really going to stand the whole time wouldn't it be smarter to sit and save your strength please just follow what the announcement said...

"Fine! That's all you had to say!"

The insufferable accountant sniffed, turned away, and sat down one row behind me, at the far end.

From where I stood, it looked a lot more like he sat because standing was getting old.

Well. Whatever. As long as we avoided the gruesome stuff.

Flash!

The screen blazed to life without warning.

What.

The film wasn't supposed to start yet.

"The taste of memory! Nectar!"

Film-grain noise over footage that looked shot on an old camera.

A beverage can with arms and legs, singing in a bright, cheerful voice.

Hiss, the crack of a tab being pulled, a model tilting their head back and gulping it down, then letting out a long, satisfied exhale.

...An ad. A pre-film advertisement.

There was a minor problem with this, though. A few of them, actually.

First, every shape on screen was smeared and melted together like badly generated AI footage, blurring into unsettling, lumpish masses. The only thing that came through clearly was the can of Nectar itself.

"Oh, is that--"

"Shh..."

Second, Nectar was a labyrinth artifact.

Artifact. Broadly speaking, the term covered anything that existed inside a labyrinth, but in common usage it meant objects brought out of contact-type Labyrinths by Red Threads that displayed some kind of anomalous property.

In Nectar's case, it was said to taste different depending on who drank it.

It tasted like whatever the drinker missed most.

"The taste of the kimchi stew your mother used to make for you when she was alive! (Every last bite of that tender meat, just as it was!)"

A gulping sound played low in the background.

Something that looked like a middle-aged woman and something that looked like a teenage boy and something red that looked like kimchi stew all blurred into one.

Cut.

"The taste of the jjajangmyeon you snuck in over the school wall! (Even that lingering, greasy smell, just as it was!)"

The gulping sound again.

Something that looked like students in school uniforms and something that looked like jjajangmyeon, dark and stringy, blurred into one.

Cut.

"The taste of the divine brew from vintage year 13.7910, drunk in a toast to victory! (Every last hard bone shard, just as it was!)"

The gulping sound again.

Something that did not look like a person and something that did look like a person blurred into one.

Cut.

"The taste of the nutritious porridge lapped up in a basement! (Even that chewy outer skin, just as it was!)"

The gulping sound again.

Something I hoped was not a person and something I hoped was just porridge blurred into one.

Cut.

"Drink your memories! Nectar! In good times and bad, Nectar delivers the ultimate experience, every time!"

So basically it was a drug.

Nectar was rare, and it let you taste something you could no longer experience, which was why it sold for outrageous prices. But at its core, it was a labyrinth trap.

Outside a labyrinth, maybe. Inside one, you could never drink it. Especially not in an invasive-type.

Labyrinths did all manner of things to keep people wandering around inside them as long as possible.

"Remember! To eat is divine! The divine is consumed! Consumed is Nectar!"

The cheerful background music faded, and the ad ended.

Flash!

The screen blazed white again, and from the far edge of that blank whiteness a cartoon bipedal bull character appeared, drawn in a cute, rounded style.

"Hello there, I'm Mimi. Oh! Hey, you!"

Mimi, or whatever it was.

It opened its eyes wide and pointed straight ahead with one finger.

Like it was pointing at the audience through the screen.

"The person in seat H-7!"

No way.

I looked down and checked my seat number.

"That's right, I mean you. This is... oh, the name is Seon Yu-han?"

Like some kind of children's game. The bull head muttered that to itself with a snickering little laugh.

"You do seem fairly grown-up, at least? Ugh, but kind of gross, honestly."

It made a face like it had bitten into something bad.

Damn labyrinth.

This was nothing more than a persona the labyrinth had constructed to make itself comprehensible to humans.

No malice in it. Just mechanical output.

Still. Or rather, because of that, I gave it the exact same look back.

"Anyway, Seon Yu-han-ssi. Are you familiar with the 'Jaelae Diary'?"

The mini minotaur spread its arms with a little ta-da, and an image appeared of a slim, reddish-brown leather notebook with a clean design.

"It's a work diary provided to all Jaelae Group employees!"

Four logos appeared on screen.

Present Sports Agency. Future Entertainment. Uiwi Guild. Jaelae Holdings.

"For one day only, a special sale event is underway at 'TARAE,' the merch store on the second floor of Jaelae Building, where general customers as well as employees can purchase the Jaelae Diary!"

I had no idea where this was going.

Why advertise this to me?

There had to be a reason.

Treat everything as a clue.

"Oh, and the very first page has a floor directory for the Jaelae Building!"

But why would I need that?

All I needed was to figure out the conditions for getting down to the first floor, and then I was gone without a backward glance. What did any of this have to do with--

Wait.

Hold on.

A chill ran down my spine.

Could it be...

The horned bull head smiled with its eyes, the look of a salesperson who had just landed a commission.

My heart started beating faster.

"Alright, let's get the film started!"

Without giving me even a moment to collect my thoughts.

Click.

Every stage light went out, and the screen blazed to life again.

I turned around.

The projector had been off this entire time.

[Production / Presentation / Distribution: Labyrinth Pictures Co., Ltd.]

The screen was showing video just fine.

[Will Spring Come to Seonghwa High School?]

A title in striking typography.

My blood ran cold the moment I read it.

"Oh? Seonghwa High-- hmph."

Chae Jae-ha caught my look and gesture and closed his mouth.

I turned back to the screen.

Sweat seeped into my palm where it gripped the armrest.

"Hey. What's for lunch today?"

"Kimchi stir-fry."

"Nice! Stir-fry! I'm loading up. What else, what else?"

"Tofu, seasoned wakame stems, steamed egg, black soybean rice, and bean sprout soup."

"Ugh, I hate bean rice so much."

Seonghwa High School had been the most famous high school in the country.

"Hey, what's with that person over there? What kind of look is that?"

"Alright, guys, bored of studying? If you keep talking I'm just going to move on."

"No, teacher, it's not that, there's someone standing outside the door. Wearing some kind of weird mask."

"Hmm? ...Do you have business with this class? But in front of the teacher, you should take that off--"

"--Aaaaaaaaaah!"

Over two hundred students and faculty, all dead. Resolved by an invasive-type Labyrinth.

Footnotes:

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