WE TRIED TRANSLATIONS

Translator/Editor: Hydrogen B

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

◈ How to Die in the Office Labyrinth ◈

Chapter 55: Birthday

──────

[Late Bae Seo-woo]

This time we got lucky. Nobody died in the underground parking garage.

Lee Jin-su, Neosoft employee, was dead, though.

That man is just impossible to find in one piece.

【Don't worry! It will hurt. The minor curse will make you miserable: Ear】

"Ah, ugh...!"

I felt around my right ear and the entire outer ear seemed to have simply vanished. Gone wholesale.

As long as the middle and inner ear were still intact, I'd be fine.

"Seon Yu-han-ssi!"

"Ugh... gauze, please..."

"W-wait a moment! Here...!"

"Give it to me. I'll do it."

The first aid kit was snatched away before it ever reached my hands. Yu Hyun-jae had taken it.

"First we apply pressure to stop the bleeding, then I'll disinfect it. Bear with me for a moment."

The co-representative of Uiwi Guild held my head steady and talked me through what he was doing.

Through my right ear, that low voice came in muffled and distant. Like being underwater.

'This kind of situation, stop the bleeding first. Disinfect after. Got it?'

I gritted my teeth and fixed my focus on the person in front of me, trying to force out the voice that rang clear in my head.

This wasn't the time to think about that person.

Not a problem I could solve yet. The person who had disappeared into a Labyrinth ten years ago and become part of it, only to resurface now...

There would be another chance to meet again someday.

As long as I was in the Labyrinth.

"Remarkable constitution. You could have fainted from the very start and no one would have blamed you."

Yu Hyun-jae finished the disinfection, laid a bandage over the ear, and secured it with tape.

"...Thank you."

I let the remark slide past as a rough approximation of gratitude.

What else was I supposed to say.

That this was better than when he'd disinfected my severed finger that other time? That this was better than when some mannequin had detached pieces of me and weighed them on a scale?

Nothing came to mind.

Nothing except the kind of jokes only I could laugh at.

"Well then. Shall we head down."

I pulled the corner of my mouth up just slightly, enough to signal I was fine.

Inside me there are very funny jokes. A horrifying number of them.

* * *

[Drunk driver crashes into utility pole, causing damage... 2 students electrocuted, 'DUI penalties must be strengthened' | 20▓▓.▓▓.▓▓. 20:45 saved | Published 4 minutes ago: Failed]

Whether it was the time lost treating my right ear or something else, Lee Na-hyun was already dead and gone.

"Ah, here."

[▓▓ Middle School entire student body and staff found dead en masse, police authorities launch major investigation]

"Looks like our alma mater."

Yu Hyun-jae, at it again.

"Representative-nim. Please pick a smaller-scale article."

I drove the nail in from the start.

"Mm."

Yu Hyun-jae blinked slowly, as if weighing something, then nodded.

"Fair enough. Our school did have quite a large campus."

I almost absentmindedly agreed with that.

I watched the Singyae Middle School graduate for a moment, then looked away.

"I think this one might be the better option."

[Smoking in the kitchen... BOOM! 'LPG gas blast' kills restaurant owner, 2 customers seriously injured]

It was the article we had successfully edited last time.

More precisely, the one Yu Hyun-jae had managed to edit by whispering some kind of incantation to those middle-schooler-shaped monsters.

"I'm in favor. Representative-nim, this one's the smallest in scale, so it seems fine to me."

"Agreed. This one and the construction site fall accident were the two that looked the least bad."

"Ah. Right, yes. That makes sense."

I hoped the same thing would happen again this time. Whatever that indecipherable line he'd whispered actually meant.

The one thing I knew for certain was this: editing this article alongside Yu Hyun-jae was the safest and easiest path available right now.

"Then I'll press the edit button."

The first priority in the Labyrinth was only that.▓

* * *

『▓▓▓. Let's go. I'll explain on the way.』

『Sure. Take care, everyone. Have a good rest of your day.』

The moment Yu Hyun-jae's short whisper ended, the boy pulled away from him and left with the girl.

"What. They actually left...? Representative-nim, what did you do?"

"What did you just say to them?"

I knew I wouldn't get an answer anyway, so I didn't push.

"Children that age tend to have a ceiling on what they can imagine as the worst case. Reality, though, always exceeds imagination. I simply showed them what lies beyond it."

Wanting to know something doesn't mean you have to know it.

Some things in this world are better left unknown.▓

* * *

"Please enjoy the other games I've prepared while we wait for your friends to arrive."

Hosoo, the host on the fifth floor, smiled generously and repeated what he'd said before.

"It seems like sitting things out without playing any games counts as a rule violation. So..."

I claimed I'd play the first game alone, citing the fact that I was the one who had cleared the Happyland game.

"Mm... that's true, but..."

"But your ear right now... is it... okay...?"

Fortunately, it worked.

Someone had to play anyway, and having someone else do it for you was the kind of offer people quietly welcomed.

"The right side is a bit muffled. But the inside isn't damaged. The left ear is completely fine."

Everyone looked uncomfortable about my missing right ear, but that wasn't my concern.

"Then I'll do it."

[𝙶𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚗 𝚘𝚏 𝙿𝚜𝚢𝚌𝚑𝚎]

[𝙰𝚆𝙰𝙺𝙴]

Click.

I grabbed the Garden of Psyche FAQ, sat down in front of the arcade cabinet, and pressed the button.

==========================

𝙰𝚁𝙴 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙰𝚆𝙰𝙺𝙴

==========================

My world split in two.

Soft, gentle 8-bit music rose as the pitch-black screen brightened like a pair of eyes opening.

==========================

＊ 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙰𝚆𝙾𝙺𝙴

==========================

I opened my eyes.

The game had begun.

* * *

"Isn't that a well?"

"It's empty."

==========================

<𝚈𝙾𝚄> 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚆𝙴𝙻𝙻 𝙸𝚂 𝙴𝙼𝙿𝚃𝚈

==========================

The front yard was a ruin, marble paths cracked and broken, stone fragments scattered everywhere. I started clearing it.

A pixel character with the right ear covered, draped in white cloth, moved busily across the screen.

==========================

＊ 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙲𝙻𝙴𝙰𝚁𝙴𝙳 𝙿𝙸𝙴𝙲𝙴𝚂 𝙾𝙵 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚁𝚄𝙸𝙽

==========================

It was no easy task.

Outside the game, all I was doing was clicking the interaction button over and over.

Inside the game, I was moving each broken stone one by one.

==========================

＊ 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙲𝙻𝙴𝙰𝚁𝙴𝙳 𝙿𝙸𝙴𝙲𝙴𝚂 𝙾𝙵 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚁𝚄𝙸𝙽

==========================

The character's movement speed was slowing, little by little.

My actual body, outside the game, felt perfectly fine.

There was no dissonance. If anything, it felt natural.

That naturalness was exactly what felt wrong.

==========================

＊ 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙲𝙻𝙴𝙰𝚁𝙴𝙳 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚁𝚄𝙸𝙽 𝚃𝙾 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙻𝙰𝚂𝚃 𝙿𝙸𝙴𝙲𝙴

==========================

Ha.

Finally. All cleared.

The cracked marble path that ran from the front of the house all the way across the yard. The shattered stone sculptures buried in the ground. All of it.

It had taken a long time.

...No, that wasn't right.

I realized I was experiencing even the passage of time in two streams.

Time in the game moved fast.

Time in reality moved slow.

Hours of sweating and hauling in there.

Out here, only a few minutes had passed.

"What do I do now. Does this game not even give you quests..."

"Don't you need to level the soil? If you're going to plant anything..."

After all that work you'd think something would be finished, but I hadn't even started yet.

I was almost grateful to spot a pitchfork sitting in the corner of the yard.

==========================

＊ 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝚃𝚄𝚁𝙽𝙴𝙳 𝚂𝙾𝙼𝙴 𝙾𝙵 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚂𝙾𝙸𝙻

==========================

I was working away, turning the earth over and over, when.

Clang.

The pitchfork caught on something.

==========================

＊ 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝙵𝙾𝚄𝙽𝙳 𝚂𝙾𝙼𝙴𝚃𝙷𝙸𝙽𝙶

==========================

Something dark and rod-like was buried in the ground.

I pressed the interaction button and pulled it up from the soil.

Thwack.

The character on screen toppled over.

Naturally, I stumbled back too.

It seemed like the end of the rod was connected to something below.

"What is that? What did you find?"

The shape was thinnest in the middle and widened toward both ends, with a curved silhouette. I could guess what it was.

This was... far too large to be human.

"...It's a bone."

==========================

<𝚈𝙾𝚄> 𝚃𝙷𝙸𝚂 𝙸𝚂 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝚁𝙴𝙼𝙰𝙸𝙽𝚂 𝙾𝙵 ...

==========================

The remains of something.

The decay wasn't even complete, joints still holding the bones together, nothing yet separated.

To remove it entirely, I'd have to dig up all the ground.

Click.

The pitchfork was back in my hands.

* * *

==========================

＊ 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝚃𝚄𝚁𝙽𝙴𝙳 𝚃𝙷𝙴 𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙸𝚁𝙴 𝚂𝙾𝙸𝙻

==========================

At last.

The labor was done. Farming or excavation, whichever it was.

After hours, or minutes, of turning the wide earth over, pale remains emerged from beneath.

The game screen showed the full shape of what had been buried in the front yard, viewed from directly above like a bird's-eye map.

"A bird? That's a bird, right...?"

"Looks like it... but why is it so large?"

A skull with a pointed beak, wing bones fanning out from the spine, long neck bones curved gently, toe bones split into three...

No question. The remains of a bird.

Inside the game, I stood at the center of it and looked down quietly at the unidentified remains.

At the half-rotted flesh and muscle still clinging to the bones here and there.

At the organs nestled between the ribs, half-decomposed and shrunken.

Skritch, tick...

My left ear, the only one still working, caught a faint sound.

A dry, scratching noise, like soil particles grinding against each other.

I moved closer, toward where the sound was coming from.

==========================

＊ 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝚃𝚄𝚁𝙽𝙴𝙳 𝙵𝙾𝚁𝚆𝙰𝚁𝙳

==========================

And looked closely. At the residue still in the process of decay.

"..."

Scritch, thud.

I stepped back without thinking.

==========================

＊ 𝚈𝙾𝚄 𝚃𝚄𝚁𝙽𝙴𝙳 𝙱𝙰𝙲𝙺

==========================

Not my imagination.

Not my imagination.

I could see it clearly with both eyes.

A heart pulsing faintly. Lungs rising and falling, barely. Organs twitching with the smallest trace of movement.

"It's."

Beneath my feet, the ground trembled, just barely.

"Not a corpse. This isn't."

==========================

<𝚈𝙾𝚄> 𝙸𝚃 𝙸𝚂 𝚂𝚃𝙸𝙻𝙻 𝙿𝚄𝙻𝚂𝙸𝙽𝙶

==========================

Footnotes:

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