WE TRIED TRANSLATIONS
Translator/Editor: Hydrogen B
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ How to Die in the Office Labyrinth ◈
Chapter 80: Not a Game, but Life. Life.
──────
"You think this is funny? Do you think this is funny?"
My whole body was shaking.
My heart blazed like the ashes inside a cremation furnace. Ferociously. Then it crumbled like ground bone fragments. Into pieces.
"Well. I'd find it funny too, if I were you."
No matter who drove a fist into this machine of a bastard's face or grabbed him by the collar, he just kept grinning.
[Problem: On the verge of escaping the Labyrinth, you killed yourself. Why? (Questions remaining: 0)]
A picture on the front of the card.
A man in a suit, standing before the glass doors of a lobby.
Drawn to look disturbingly like me.
"Where do you get off cursing people with garbage like this."
I pulled the host close by the collar, bringing his face right up to mine.
"Is this an oracle? This thing."
I whispered so the others couldn't hear, and the host's smile only grew wider.
"Yu-han-nim, your hand! Your right hand..."
"Seon Yu-han-ssi, stop, stop it already...! What are you trying to do...!"
"Of all the hands to use... Seon Yu-han-ssi, you need to hold it together, even if you're upset. What if you provoke something and it retaliates...?"
"Ha..."
I let go.
Only then did I notice the bandage had soaked through red again, and my severed ring finger finally started to hurt, belatedly.
Anyway.
To Yu Hyun-jae he'd said something about never getting out, or whatever it was.
Whether it was an indiscriminate curse handed out to everyone alike, or a true prophecy given only to those who are actually fated for it.
I read the problem again, calmly.
[Problem: On the verge of escaping the Labyrinth, you killed yourself. Why? (Questions remaining: 0)]
Me?
I actually do something like that?
I couldn't understand it.
Why would I do something like that.
Even if I keep coming back to life...
I stared quietly at the host's irritating, smiling face and opened my mouth.
"The answer."
"Yes, Seon Yu-han-nim. Please give your answer."
"I'll tell you when I find out."
"Seon Yu-han-nim."
"What."
"Incorrect."
"I know."
There are moments when you know a path is wrong and walk it anyway.
There are people like that.
[Problem: On the verge of escaping the Labyrinth, you killed yourself. Why? (Questions remaining: 0)]
Maybe a moment like that will come for me, too. Maybe I'll become one of those people.
"Congratulations. Seon Yu-han-nim has completed one coin of 'Life.'"
The host handed over one complete gold coin.
"Well then. Now it's my turn to solve one."
And so the game began, played by people who already knew all twenty-one incidents and their answers.
* * *
17-4. Please remember. Every story below is without question a true story.
(1) The Man in the Refrigerator
...
...
...
* * *
[𝙶𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚎𝚗 𝚘𝚏 𝙿𝚜𝚢𝚌𝚑𝚎]
While the others played True Stories, I played the Garden of Psyche.
"...Oh, you want to watch? Fair warning, something scary might show up."
To get Ji-ho's share of the gold coin.
Splitting up and playing Project Delphi to combine gold coins would probably be fastest, but I don't want to play that game anymore.
I don't want to make anyone play it.
Nobody should have to receive a curse like that.
"......"
The entire time I played the Garden of Psyche, the child sat beside me and watched without looking away.
"Hey, you probably shouldn't watch this part... it's a little gruesome."
What was so interesting about it?
Sure, it was more entertaining than True Stories, where the adults just kept repeating the same lines like parrots. But still.
At least this time the child didn't seem uncomfortable around me and actually came close. That was a relief.
I must be hiding it well.
...Whatever it is.
"Hm?"
Tap, tap.
The child lightly poked my forearm and pointed at the screen.
==========================
＊ 𝙰 𝙿𝚁𝙴𝚂𝙴𝙽𝙲𝙴 𝙸𝚂 𝙵𝙸𝚇𝙴𝙳 𝚄𝙿𝙾𝙽 𝚈𝙾𝚄
==========================
"Ah, you're asking about that just now?"
The black shadow that had appeared for a moment when I turned a corner in the maze.
Root.
"Good question."
How should I put it.
A watcher who always keeps an eye on me? An intruder entering my body? A murderer cutting out the seed of the tree?
"I'm not really sure myself. But..."
One thing is certain.
"It's my only ally."
I whispered it by the child's ear like a secret, then shook my head.
"No, I mean. It's on the side of my character in there."
Why did I say that.
It didn't sound like something I would say. Even though I clearly said it.
I shouldn't say things like that.
Because what's in there is nothing more than a character.
Something that chews fertilizer shaped like a bull, that claws at the ground in unbearable thirst, that stares endlessly at the black vessel that might be its own cradle, that carries a single tree inside its body while drawing three hundred and sixty-six tally marks on the wall, that will become the fertile ground for a pale white tree.
That thing is not me.
* * *
"The night of awakening has come."
We got the gold coins from the co-representative of Uiwi Guild, the certified public accountant, the freelance magician, the Moment O'Clock MD, and the Neosoft employee in turn, then started the final game right away: the Silence of the Lambs.
"Seon Yu-han-nim, you are the 'shepherd.'"
"Ha."
Whether it was random or the host decided, I couldn't tell.
"Drive out all the parasitic wolves lurking in the pasture and targeting your sheep. You must be the one who slaughters the sheep."
What an absolute lowlife rule.
"Once, while you are alive, you may protect one sheep from a wolf's attack during the night. Be careful not to accidentally protect a wolf."
I was almost impressed by that person who had managed to win under conditions that basically said lie down and die in defeat.
"The dark night fades, and a new day has dawned."
Thanks to the insurance of one coin of 'Life,' nobody's face looked too grim.
Last time everyone had been wearing death masks.
"I'm a sheep."
"I'm apparently... a wolf."
"I'm a wolf too."
[I'm a wolf]
"I'm a sheep, me."
"Me too... a sheep..."
Everyone was even being honest.
"Oh, I received the role of... shepherd."
I was being plenty honest too.
"What? What do you mean? There's a role like that?"
"Yes... it seems there was a hidden role besides wolf and sheep."
"Wow, seriously... how does that work? And why isn't it written in the diary, of all things. Something like that would actually be useful. Honestly."
Well, because I didn't write it in.
If I told them everything, I wouldn't seem human, would I.
A person who knows the Labyrinth suspiciously well and yet only knows about a handful of floors, as if they'd only gone that far and turned back.
That's how I needed to look.
"I think we should probably just use it as a casual reference sometimes. Don't rely on it too heavily."
That's why I deliberately left out information on certain floors.
The parking garage with the Buddha, or the Strategic Planning Division floor with the gamblers, for instance.
If it was something I could handle well enough just by talking my way through it without the diary, it was more natural for me to step up and deal with it myself.
It made it easier to get the group to listen to me later, too.
"For now, please vote me out first. Don't worry too much about it."
"Oh, then... I'll vote for Yu-han-nim. Sorry about that..."
"Nothing to apologize for. It'll work out."
"Yes. Seon Yu-han-nim, one vote. Currently Seon Yu-han-nim has the most votes and is set to be exiled."
"I'll cast a vote as well. For Seon Yu-han-ssi."
One by one the votes piled up, and the moment a majority was reached it was settled, exile confirmed before night even fell.
"Yes. Seon Yu-han-nim, four votes. Exile is confirmed."
The host with the long staff approached.
"Here. My 'Life.'"
I handed back the one gold coin.
"Yes. Seon Yu-han-nim has used one coin of 'Life' to cancel the penalty of the Silence of the Lambs."
Hosoo, who had received the 'Life' back, spoke.
"Exiled Seon Yu-han-nim will now watch over the pasture from outside it. May you have your freedom beyond the fence."
One who has left the pasture cannot return.
Even if the penalty is cancelled, it seems.
An exile is an exile.
"Wait, he just vanished?"
"He's not... dead, is he? It said he'd be watching?"
"I'd imagine so. It seems he's just invisible to our eyes."
Now they couldn't see me.
"...As the sun sets once more..."
"...Chae Jae-ha-ssi..."
"...Confirmed as the leading vote-getter..."
Boring.
Watching a game when you already know exactly how it'll play out.
'No fun, this is. Knowing everything... is a sad thing.'
A sad and unfun thing, indeed.
Knowing everything.
* * *
18. For he is a weak shepherd, and a weak shepherd slaughters the sheep for his own sake.
* * *
"Congratulations. Yu Hyun-jae-nim, Lee Jin-su-nim, and Hwang Ju-yeon-nim have driven out every predator and exploiter that crept into the pasture. The sheep are silent no longer."
"Is there... a separate reward for winning?"
The host tilted his head at Hwang Ju-yeon's question.
"I don't understand. Is there a reward greater than life?"
The host, to the very end, was kind enough to give us one last laugh.
A hollow laugh was still a laugh.
"Did you all enjoy the games I prepared?"
Chae Jae-ha and Lee Na-hyun rolled their eyes at Hosoo's question.
"Oh, um, yes, it was fun. Right."
"Yeah, y-yes... it was, fun..."
"What fun is there in it when you already know the answers?"
Still sulking even while seeing us off.
"Farewell, Seon Yu-han-nim, Yu Hyun-jae-nim, Lee Na-hyun-nim, Lee Jin-su-nim, Jeong Ji-ho-nim, Chae Jae-ha-nim, and Hwang Ju-yeon-nim."
Hosoo, who resembled a kind shepherd, watched us quietly until the emergency exit door closed behind us.
With the eyes of a silent sheep.
* * *
"Ugh, please let it be the first floor. Right?"
"Yes. It might actually be. I wouldn't put too much faith in this notebook, but... at any rate, there's no record of the next floor."
I didn't know it, which was why I couldn't write it, but my wish for it to be the first floor was genuine.
Clunk.
Of course, I also knew the Labyrinth wasn't the kind of dreamlike place where wishes came true just because you made them.
"Oh? It's really dark in here."
"Ji-ho, hold your teacher's hand tight."
"Don't tell me this is another...?"
The moment I hurriedly turned on my phone's flashlight, letters and numbers came into view.
B3.
"Another parking gar---"
---Br-r-r-r-r-r-r-ring!
A sharp alarm shrieked into both ears.
Along with the acrid smell of burning rubber.
Footnotes:
Join our discord at https://dsc.gg/wetried