WE TRIED TRANSLATIONS

Translator/Editor: Hydrogen B

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◈ How to Die in the Office Labyrinth ◈

Chapter 82: Drive Safe

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"What's that?"

"The alarm stopped?"

Not a sound came through the gap of the slightly lowered window.

Complete silence.

As if nothing had happened. As if no one and nothing had ever been here.

I took out my phone and did the math.

"It's been about ten minutes, I think. Since the alarm went off."

If it went off again, I could start figuring out the pattern.

"Wait, isn't it that thing?"

Chae Jae-ha had been hunched over peering out the window, but he suddenly straightened up.

"What thing?"

"You know, like, when the siren's going off, they hunt people. That kind of thing. There are movies like that."

"Are there?"

"Yeah, yeah, there are, those kinds of movies......"

What kind of person watches all these bizarre films? And he's a nervous wreck on top of it.

"But wait, if Jae-ha-nim is right, doesn't that mean we're safe right now? Since there's no sound."

"Oh, no, that was just my guess, so...... it might not be right......"

Whether a path is the right one or the wrong one.

There's only one way to find out in a Labyrinth.

"Then how about we drive a loop to check?"

Go down that path and see.

That's always the only option.

"Ah...... should we? I guess that's all we can do?"

"That said, we should drive slowly and quietly. It might be a monster that reacts to noise."

At those words, the driver's expression, already stiff, drained another shade paler.

His confidence was visibly collapsing.

"I'm sure you'll do great."

The passenger tapped the driver's shoulder and piled on even more pressure.

"Y-yes, sir."

And so the Labyrinth's version of a safari began.

Shhhhh.......

Chae Jae-ha's sedan crept forward like a grub.

So absurdly slow that without the faint hum of the engine, you wouldn't have known it had moved at all.

Even a packed parking lot with cars still squeezing in would probably move faster than this.

"Hmm......"

The thought, the truth, that crawling on all fours would be considerably faster, I forced back down.

The car had just barely rounded a corner when--

"Oh? Over there! There's something over there...!"

Hwang Ju-yeon, sitting by the left rear window, pointed outside.

In an open space between a large SUV and a full-size sedan, a big black monster had planted itself squarely.

"Uh, um, why is it just...... standing there like that?"

The monster stood bolt upright without moving a muscle.

Like a car with the engine off.

"Maybe it's sleeping......?"

"Let's get a little closer."

"Ugh......"

"Better than going on foot, isn't it? And if we have to kill it, ramming it with the car is the best option anyway."

A roughly two-ton object called an automobile is an excellent mode of transport and quite a capable killing instrument as well.

"Huh? Me......?"

"Well then, will you hand over the wheel?"

Personally, I'd feel a lot safer with myself driving.

Better than trusting my life to a stranger.

"Hmm, well...... I mean, do you even have a license, Seon Yu-han-ssi?"

"......I have a license, yes."

"Oh. One of those drawer licenses......"

Like getting into university, learning to drive had been part of acting like a normal, functional person.

And as I walked out of the testing center, I made myself a promise.

Never touch a steering wheel again. Unless someone threatened to kill me if I didn't, I would never do it.

I was scared of driving.

It had nothing to do with the accident when I was seven.

I barely remember that accident anyway.

Just an ordinary tragedy. Nothing special.

An accident without intent or meaning, a collision of random coincidences.

It hadn't given me a trauma about riding in cars.

Just sometimes, when I'm in one, I think: what if I doze off and wake up to find the car flipped over?

What if I'm the only one who survives again?

Just that.

"Um, does anyone else here know how to drive? No, I'm not saying I want to hand off the wheel, I'm just checking, in case......"

"I have a license, but almost no actual experience. I've always had a driver."

"Mine's also a drawer license...... What about you, unni?"

"I don't have one at all. Never felt the need."

So my fear of driving came from an entirely different reason.

It was too easy.

There were moments I wasn't sure I'd be able to stop myself.

I wasn't sure I'd stop when I should.

I wasn't sure I'd keep going when I should.

I felt certain I'd go somewhere I shouldn't.

I was afraid I'd die too comfortably.

I was afraid I'd kill too easily.

I just thought that opportunity was one I couldn't afford to put in my own hands.

So every time a chance came up to drive someone else's car during work social functions, I lied and said I didn't have a license.

"Hmm...... let's just go and see......"

The car rolled forward again with the accountant's reluctant mutter.

At a snail's pace, the monster slowly drew closer.

At a glance it looked like something clumsily molded from large chunks of scrap tire by a creature that had no idea what a horse was supposed to look like. As if peeling back that black rubber skin would reveal an actual horse underneath, or so you wanted to believe.

"But those...... are those legs......?"

"......Yes."

Looking more carefully, there was one more leg hanging off it than before.

"Don't tell me those are from that body earlier and Lee Jin-su-ssi......?"

"It would seem so."

I shifted slightly to block the child's view before answering.

There had only been legs on the left flank before. Now a pair had been added to the right flank too, one leg dangling on each side in a grotesque display.

"Ugh, ugh......"

While Chae Jae-ha gagged, the rest of the group kept piecing things together.

"It's just standing there, so it doesn't seem dead...... It really must be sleeping."

"Does it sleep when the alarm stops......?"

"That could well be."

"Wait, then...... does that mean when the alarm comes back on, it'll--"

--Brrrrrrrrrring!

Before Hwang Ju-yeon's fearful guess even left her mouth, the metallic screech of the fire alarm rang out.

"Chae Jae-ha-ssi! Floor it!"

The sleeping monster stirred awake.

"Wha, okay......!"

The sudden reverse threw my body forward.

What is he doing?

Why is he going backward?

"Ram it! Go forward!"

"What? What?"

Damn it.

Either way, it was already too late.

This turtle-pace car suddenly gunning it now, with a monster just a few meters ahead, how much damage could it really do?

Especially against a monster taller than most SUVs, barreling toward us at full speed.

"Everyone hold on!"

I braced for the impact and pulled the child tight against me, wrapping an arm around securely so their neck wouldn't snap or jerk forward.

Should never have sat the kid on my lap to begin with.......

Bang!

"Oof!"

"Ugh, ahh!"

Everything went white.

The bone-deep impact, like being slammed into a concrete wall at full speed, sent my brain rolling three times inside my skull.

Brrrrrrrrring!

The alarm kept blasting through my skull, and right in front of me came an unmistakably bad sound.

Crunch, crack!

"Hhh, aughh! No! Help me, help meee!"

The sound of the car body crumpling.

The sound of Chae Jae-ha being dragged away.

"Ngh......"

I have to open my eyes.

I have to get my bearings.

I have to get out of here.

"Ji-ho, Jeong Ji-ho......"

With a neck that had gone rigid, I forced my head down to check on the child.

"......"

Thank god. Just knocked out, it seemed. Nothing broken.

"Ugh......"

"Ah, ow......"

Hwang Ju-yeon and Lee Na-hyun in the back were slowly coming back to consciousness.

"Mmm......"

Yu Hyun-jae, who had been in the front passenger seat and taken the worst of it, wasn't dead either.

The monster had charged head-on, which must have set the airbags off properly.

Click.

I dragged myself out, every joint creaking in protest, and saw the sedan: nearly half destroyed.

The hood mangled beyond recognition. The driver's seat completely demolished.

Chae Jae-ha was already gone.

Only a dark red smear remained.

"Ugh, my neck...... I can't move my neck...... what do I do......"

Lee Na-hyun, who had been sitting in the middle, sank to the floor and started to cry.

"It's the shock, your muscles seized up from the shock. They'll loosen again soon, so don't worry too much."

I laid the child down behind a pillar and checked on Lee Na-hyun.

"Really......?"

"Yes. Just don't try to force it suddenly. You're very tense right now, that's all. Slowly. Like you're just twitching the tip of your chin, little by little."

The alarm made it hard to hear, so I leaned in close and repeated it a few times.

Honestly, I didn't have the energy to raise my voice either.

"Are you two all right?"

Hwang Ju-yeon and Yu Hyun-jae had no energy to answer. They leaned side by side against the car next to them and gave a small nod each.

"Ha......"

I moved over to the pillar where I'd laid the child down and sat there too.

Brrrrrrrrring!

My head was still pounding, and moving around recklessly in this state would only risk making things worse.

Tap, tap.

While I loosened my muscles, I sorted through the situation in my head and typed it into my phone's notes.

To get it across to the group without screaming.

[So it does seem like the sleeping monster wakes up when the alarm goes off. And each time the alarm sounds, it looks like it only takes one person.]

There was plenty of opportunity to kill more than one, and this time again it had taken only one.

One per alarm. That was the rule.

[I don't know what criteria it uses to pick, or whether it just takes whoever. As for how long the alarm goes, I'll have to check once this one stops.]

It might be a pattern with no fixed interval.

Maybe the alarm stops once the prey dies, or once the monster has severed the prey's legs and grafted them onto itself. Or maybe it's completely unrelated to that, switching on and off at random.

[And once the alarm stops, I'll go check again.]

Honestly, being too cautious earlier and letting the car crawl along had been a waste of time.

If the monster sleeps while the alarm is off, approaching on foot before it wakes shouldn't be a problem.

The car was wrecked anyway, so driving wasn't an option regardless.

"You're going alone?"

Hwang Ju-yeon was the first to ask, having read my notes.

That much I could tell from her lip movements and expression.

[Yes. I'm in the best shape of anyone right now, and I'm only going for a quick check, so there's no reason for multiple people to move. I'll be back within ten minutes, fifteen at the latest.]

I didn't bother adding: so if I'm not back by then, assume I'm dead.

Brrrrrrrrring!

Brrrrrring.

Not long after, the alarm cut out.

About sixteen minutes.

Nine minutes longer than the roughly seven minutes from before.

Ambiguous. Hard to say whether there was a pattern or not.

"I'll be back shortly."

"Please be careful......!"

"Come straight back if anything feels wrong."

First I went back to where the monster had been sleeping, but the spot was empty.

For a moment my spine went cold, wondering if it hadn't fallen asleep yet.

"Shh."

A foot...... wait, what is that?

I passed the spot and kept walking, and something very strange entered the edge of my vision.

Past a tall mid-size car, a person's neck showed pale and faint.

A neck.

Meaning, a neck without a head.

Footnotes:

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