WE TRIED TRANSLATIONS

Translator/Editor: Hydrogen B

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

◈ How to Die in the Office Labyrinth ◈

Chapter 9: Installment Plan

──────

"Gkh, ghk..."

The grip at the back of my neck was so brutal I couldn't move a single step forward.

"Ugh..."

It felt like a clamp was squeezing my throat shut.

Thrashing around only left my arms and legs flailing in empty air.

The self-defense moves I'd learned years ago were completely useless. They worked on the assumption that what you were dealing with was a person.

The strength was draining from my body.

No.

I can't die.

"Ugh! Ghhk..."

Right when I was certain I was about to asphyxiate, I was flung to the floor.

Someone lifted me up and tied me to a pillar.

"This... hng... let go..."

I couldn't breathe. My head was spinning. My body wouldn't cooperate. My vision wouldn't focus.

I have to get up.

I have to get up and run.

"Ungh, ah..."

Gasping, I managed to raise my head just enough to see the face of whoever had tried to strangle me.

"Ha... you've got to be kidding me..."

A mannequin.

A mannequin dressed in clothing merchandise.

Faceless, like an egg ghost, it looked down at me.

Standing across from it would have been one thing, but slumped on the ground staring up at it, I felt a cold pressure closing in from all sides.

Bang, bang!

I turned toward the store entrance.

Through the small window in the door I could see the accountant's panicked face.

The soundproofing was excellent, because no voice came through.

"The door's locked!"

That's what the lip movements looked like, anyway.

"Please leave. Go."

I had no idea what was about to happen, so I weakly waved for the accountant to go.

Standing motionless out there wasn't going to be safe either.

"There's something you cannot lose"

The mannequin, unbothered, creaked forward and stopped in front of the LED screen.

"Even if you want to"

Crack.

Then it raised both arms and cleanly detached its own head.

Thud.

I stared for a moment at the faceless head lying on the floor, then looked back at the mannequin's rear.

My brain spent several seconds trying to process what my eyes were showing me.

What is that?

"You know I'm the one"

The headless mannequin stretched out both hands and retrieved a golden scale from the LED screen.

Literally, it pulled a balance scale with actual physical mass out of a digital display, then floated it above its own neck.

It looked more natural than any computer graphic ever made with astronomical sums of capital and labor.

Before I even had time to be impressed, a new emoji appeared on the now-blank white screen.

A knife.

A kitchen knife emoji.

"The only one"

Thud, thud. The beat of the song moved like a reaper's footsteps.

The mannequin, now equipped with a glittering new head and a sharp weapon, turned toward me.

"Who sees you just the way you are"

I had the strange illusion that our eyes had met.

The two pans of the golden scale looked uncannily like a pair of eyes.

A scale and a blade.

It reminded me, somehow, of the goddess of justice.

"Welcome, valued customer Seon Yu-han-nim?"

Only this particular deity of a merch store was wearing black techwear instead of a white himation.

"Thank you so so so much for pur-chasing a pro-duct from TARAE, cus-to-mer-nim. I see that you chose to pay in three month-ly in-terest-free in-stall-ments?"

That strange, chopped-up mechanical voice still came from the LED screen, dragging and cutting at odd intervals.

The mannequin's golden scale head just swayed gently back and forth, like a wind chime hanging from an eave.

"Based on valued customer Seon Yu-han's current fi-nan-cial situ-a-tion, it has been con-firmed that you are fully ca-pa-ble of ma-king the first pay-ment?"

Of course I can. Somehow, hearing something that obvious was more frightening than anything else.

"How-ev-er?"

I knew it.

You always have to hear a Korean sentence out to the very end.

I really did not want to hear this one.

"χρήματα money पैसे money Деньги gold pari... it is some-thing like life, some-thing you have and then do not have?"

No.

It can't be.

"Your a-bil-il-il-il-i-ty to re-pay the se-cond and third in-stall-ments is in ques-tion?"

"Hey! I have that money! I could pay the whole thing right now without installments!"

I couldn't hold back and shouted.

Never mind that paying in one lump sum would mean eating plain rice with nothing but tears for salt for at least a month.

"Yes but the cus-to-mer did choose three month-ly in-terest-free ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha in-stall-ments?"

"So what!"

The more I thought about it, the more unfair it felt.

What exactly had this thing contributed?

"The use of a cre-dit card is fun-da-men-tal-ly a debt in-curred on the be-lief that your fu-ture self will be ca-pa-ble of ma-king pay-ment..."

"That's! Well."

It wasn't wrong.

"But how am I to trust the cus-to-mer? I am meet-meet-meet-meeting valued customer Seon Yu-han for the very first time to-day?"

"What are you on about? So what, you think everyone at the credit card company is my personal friend? Is that why they issued me a card?"

"If the cus-to-mer were to leave this place, how would I re-ceive the re-maining pay-ments? Do you think I am dig-ging in the dirt for my bus-iness?"

"You're being ridiculous!"

The scale head didn't hear a word I said.

"It has been de-ci-ded that the two re-maining in-stall-ments, the se-cond and third, will be col-lec-ted in ad-vance. Please un-der-stand-stand-stand-stand?"

"Do you know what an installment plan is? Do you know what installments mean? Hey!"

The two golden pans of the balance scale rose and fell like a seesaw, slow and steady, drawing closer one step at a time.

"In-stall-ment re-pay-ment will now com-mence?"

"I'm on my way to you"

The song ended at last.

* * *

"Unh, hhng..."

I had no idea how much time had passed.

"Ghk! Kk..."

Coughing tore through me.

A faint metallic taste lingered unpleasantly as it slid down my throat.

"Ugh, nnh, ahh..."

I couldn't form a coherent sentence.

And it wasn't only because I had screamed myself hoarse.

Losing this much blood should mean dying.

No, before even reaching fatal blood loss, I should have died from shock.

"I a-po-lo-gize but the cus-to-mer can-not die un-til re-pay-ment is com-plete?"

The rules of this cursed Labyrinth were blocking my body from dying.

Long live the Labyrinth.

"There is not much left so please wait just a mo-ment?"

The blood-red scale looked down at me.

I now knew that my body was not one single unified thing, but a sum of countless parts.

I now understood the equation that measured body weight through addition and subtraction.

The eyes are too light.

Too light to be worth placing on a scale.

So I watched all of it. With both eyes.

Pretending to be an observer, lying to myself, made the pain a little less.

Believing that this body, slowly stripped away piece by piece, growing lighter, was "something" separate from "me."

If I could step outside the illusion of being myself.

This pain is a phantom.

I am not Seon Yu-han.

I died a long time ago.

"This is the fi-i-i-i-nal in-stall-ment?"

I couldn't make out the words anymore.

All that filled my mind was the strange sensation of my own chest splitting open like raw meat under a well-honed blade.

"In-stall-ment re-pay-ment is com-plete?"

Only then did the world go dark.

* * *

6. Do not pay in installments.

* * *

"If it were possible to turn back time, what would you do, Seon Yu-han-ssi?"

"Ti-"

I almost said "feet" again.

"...I would stop using credit cards."

"That's the most practical answer I've heard in a while."

I couldn't say anything else. I just bowed my head.

This wasn't good conduct for a job interview.

I felt like I was suffocating.

Like I could stick my tongue out and die any second.

I'm going to die. I'm going to die.

No.

I won't die. I can't die.

I don't want to die.

The transition from death to life with no space between.

The border between living and dying, flipping like a coin.

The thick, lingering phantom pain of something that left no trace.

The gap between the memory of final agony and a body that was very much alive.

All of it.

I could feel it eating away at me, little by little.

Why am I alive again?

Why is it always only me who lives?

I don't want to be alive.

No. No.

I. I. Seon Yu-han. Cannot die.

"Hah, ugh..."

What did they do in moments like this? What was it those people used to do?

Right.

Breathe in slowly. Let it out.

Clench your fist tight. Then open it.

One, two, three, four...

Strange.

Why are there so many fingers?

Disgusting.

"Seon Yu-han-ssi? Are you all right?"

The Interview Administrator's urgent voice broke through the dull ringing in my ears.

"Try breathing slowly with me, okay?"

Warmth touched my fingertips.

I stared blankly at the Interview Administrator taking a long, deliberate breath, then slowly followed along, a beat late.

For a moment, only the sound of two people breathing filled the quiet interview room.

"The water's all gone. That's all right. Don't worry. Seon Yu-han-ssi, you're in a safe place."

No, Interview Administrator-nim. I'm not all right. This place is dangerous.

"I'll stay here with you until you've calmed down."

No, Interview Administrator-nim. You won't be able to stay.

"There's a clinic right on the fourth floor. A rest area too. I'll take you."

No, Interview Administrator-nim. You won't be able to take me there.

"Is there anything you need? Are you too cold or too ho-"

See.

3:33.

The Interview Administrator was gone.

Bang!

Boom, crash, crack, bang!

Smash, thud!

Chae Jae-ha was dead.

* * *

I sat in my chair in a daze. Then I noticed something off pressing against the inside of my jacket pocket.

"Ha."

The texture of reddish-brown leather against my fingertips.

My stomach turned.

That goddamn diary.

What a lovely gift.

Just as the advertisement said, the front of the Jaelae Diary had floor-by-floor information for the Jaelae Building. Which department on which floor, which company on which floor, and so on, but only at the level of a visitor's guide.

Damn.

This alone wasn't enough to tell me exactly where the Labyrinth's exit was. Not even whether it was on the first floor or somewhere else.

Thap. I closed the diary and slipped it back into my pocket.

The answer wasn't going to come unless I made it down past the second floor.

[3:54 | SOS | 86%]

I checked the time and stood up.

My legs felt heavier than expected.

Well, they were moving, so maybe "heavier" wasn't quite right.

I didn't know.

Either way, if I lingered here any longer I'd obviously get forcibly ejected from the interview room again, so I moved quickly.

Out of habit I nearly headed toward the elevator before catching myself and turning.

Chae Jae-ha was already dead.

Still, that person, that easily-frightened person, hadn't run off anywhere and seemed to have been standing outside the door, worrying about me.

Even if I couldn't quite remember the middle part.

But that wasn't enough to make me want to start over for Chae Jae-ha's sake.

Not that it mattered, since I'd probably die again for some absurd reason and be right back here soon enough.

Even so. As far as I could go. As long as I could last. As long as I could stay alive.

I wanted to keep fighting.

I didn't want to throw my life away of my own accord.

It felt like an insult to living.

Just to imagine it.

I.

At least I.

Could not do that.

* * *

I didn't hesitate. I pushed open the emergency door on the second floor and stepped out.

Without Chae Jae-ha around, I was spared the trouble of going all the way down to the first floor.

I stopped in front of the main auditorium and chose the left fork between the two paths.

This time I decided to go clockwise again, past Uri Saennal Daycare and on to the Uiwi Guild's in-building library.

I had no intention of going anywhere near the Merchant-of-Venice-style store for a good while.

Besides, with no employee to bring along, going to Uri Saennal Daycare wasn't an option anyway.

A labyrinth survival kit?

What would be the point.

When it came down to it, something like that would probably be overpriced and shoddy.

It would probably catch on something and fall apart the moment I used it.

Forget it. I didn't need it.

I passed through the colorful daycare corridor and the wall changed to clean, calm tones.

Wide picture windows were spaced out along it, offering a clear view inside. Blocked by the bookshelves, nothing particularly unusual caught my eye right away.

Not that I could simply trust what I saw.

The Labyrinth was a place where you never knew what you were dealing with until you'd already stepped inside.

[Chaekbang Ollae]

The hanja for "come" written next to it suggested the name was a bureaucratic wordplay pun.

Wait.

I'd reached for the door handle and stopped.

Come to think of it, was this library open to outsiders?

What if some robot librarian appeared and said "Outside visitors are prohibited from using the library!" and brought a spine down on my head?

"Ha..."

But I couldn't just not go in.

There might be a clue here about the conditions for escaping the second floor, and there might be employees from the daycare inside somewhere.

Whatever. I didn't know.

I'd just have to go in and find out.

Slowly, I eased the door open.

The library's distinctive cool, faintly sweet smell drifted past my nose.

I looked around and started walking, slowly.

And stopped before I had taken more than a few steps.

"There was a corpse there."

What?

──────

Footnotes:

Join our discord at https://dsc.gg/wetried