WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Natty
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ How to Rewrite Ghost Stories ◈
Episode 48: Night Dream Home Shopping (1)
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“Good work, Director.”
“Assistant Manager Seon, you really worked hard! I told you I trusted you.”
The special homecoming event for displaced residents of the Jangsalgot Submerged Site ended without a hitch. No ghosts, no disappearances, no unexpected incidents.
The Jewon County Governor was happy because the hastily secured budget had produced a better photo op than expected. The displaced residents were happy to set foot on their old home ground for the first time in ages. Director Lee was happy to add another accomplishment to the list...
And I was satisfied too, thanks to the generous “incentive” from the Corporation. The event ended well.
On the way back to Seoul, I sent Mok Inha a short message.
[The event ended safely. I look forward to working with you again.]
[Thumbs-up (乃)]
Then came rest as sweet as honey. Director Lee, whom I had assumed was shameless beyond repair, passed every minor project that should have been mine to other teams.
‘Hey, I know exactly how hard you worked, Assistant Manager Seon! So take a break this time! Just share anything good you find. You know I’ll take care of everything, right?’
There was no Iberico sous vide, only pork neck ribs from the restaurant in front of the office. Still, twenty million won was more welcome than Director Lee, so I smiled and humored him.
All I had left to do was browse for new bidding notices and surf the internet under the excuse of researching marketing trends. I was in full salary-thief mode.
Which meant there was only one thing to do.
‘The sorting system is more convenient than I expected, but it doesn’t give me as much dopamine as before.’
New-post notifications piled up in the Guestbook, glinting amid all the gray. With fake tips automatically filtered out, clicking through every post had lost some of its fun.
I scrolled down, and dozens of gray and red posts rushed past.
[Fact Check] I heard you can see a ghost in the bathroom mirror at 3 a.m. I really hope Gii Yadam will try it.
‘Go write a novel instead of calling it a ghost story. Pass.’
[Tip] A Red Mask appeared in our neighborhood ㅠㅠㅠ Nobody believes me. They keep carrying scissors around and trying to cut things. Please come catch them.
‘I’m not an exorcist. I fact-check fake ghost stories. Why are so many people incapable of reading?’
[Tip] I got a call from an unknown number, but all I hear is “Kkweeeek.” It sounds like a water deer or a woman screaming. Is it a cursed number? It’s 018-367-1010.
That one caught my interest, so I tapped the number.
It was just a recording service from a horror film marketing campaign a few years ago. Apparently, they had forgotten to cancel it.
“...There’s really nothing here...”
— Why is my partner still reading them after receiving an automatic sorting function as a gift?
‘That’s just human psychology.’
— Is that why you stick your head into the maw of an obvious monster?
‘That was a jab at me, wasn’t it?’
— Of course not.
It sure sounded like one. After a little more light banter with Hertz, I finished checking every new Guestbook post.
“Maybe it really is hard to find a real ghost story through outside tips alone... Hm?”
A yellow glow flickered.
It was not a proper Guestbook post, but a comment. When I clicked the comment section under a post about a shopping mall ghost story, a long, visually noisy block of text appeared.
☞Change your life on the ①st try, M A J0R ★G1F★T★ FREE NOW! Start with 100,000 won☜ Win chance@@@go NOW♚♚http://n1ghttdr2mmm/2vnts/ins ♚♚ L1nk. Join and get items worth 80,000 won§§Get back ② times what you puRchase§§No★loss★es★ch@nce 1 ☞☞Your §§dream§§ delivered to reality☜☜ ♜Midnight Department Store★N1 GthT Dr2M C0r2♜@@Channel entry@@4.4.4.4♚♚@@
“...Wow.”
A quiet exclamation slipped out. It had both the tackiness of spam and the dizzying symbols of an illegal advertisement. Making something like that probably took work these days.
But the comment was clearly highlighted in yellow.
I started searching the blog for home shopping, channels, and advertisements. Various ghost stories came up.
I bought the wrong item.
Something I never ordered arrived.
I think my personal information was sold to a crazed killer.
The thing I bought is trying to kill me.
︙
Please tell me I’m not the only one who has watched the Night Dream Home Shopping channel.
How to access a channel that only opens at 4:44 a.m.
‘This is it.’
Click.
[Update] Please tell me I’m not the only one who has watched the Night Dream Home Shopping channel. I need to know I wasn’t the only one who saw it. Has anyone else seen the Night Dream channel that broadcasts at dawn? I have insomnia. I normally can’t fall asleep until the sun comes up, so I have a habit of turning down the TV volume and flipping through channels until dawn. That day, I pressed the random channel button, and a new channel came on. Channel 33 was supposed to show sports, but it was home shopping. It looked like an outdated channel. Who would be watching advertisements at 3 a.m., anyway? But the product was tempting. Right. It was an advertisement for a supplement that was supposed to help with insomnia. That made sense. Of course that would be the only thing sold through home shopping at 3 a.m. Besides, the product looked pretty good... They offered a free trial, and payment was unusually deferred. If I returned the product, I would get a three-day sample without paying a single won. Of course I ordered it! Why would I pass up an opportunity like that? Um, and then the package arrived. It was an ordinary bottle of supplements that didn’t look special. I took one pill, and wow. I don’t remember anything. I slept amazingly well. I even wondered whether it was actually a sleeping pill. Naturally, I paid for it and started taking it, but that’s where the real problem begins. I sleep very well when I take the pills. But I don’t think I’m actually asleep. Things and documents I don’t remember keep increasing in my house. There are text messages and phone calls, and it seems I had an amazing night with my girlfriend, but I don’t remember it. It feels like my body is being taken over while I sleep. The bigger problem is that even without taking the pills, I now lose my memory whenever night comes. I want to access that channel again. But I fall asleep. Please, has anyone seen the Night Dream Home Shopping channel outside of dawn hours? If you have, leave an address, phone number, or somewhere I can make an inquiry. Please. You would be saving someone’s life. I’m afraid of the night now. I’m afraid of sleep.
[True Story] How to access a channel that only opens at 4:44 a.m. Author: Anonymous | Views: 12,404 | Date: 2016. 04. 28. You’ve all mindlessly flipped through TV channels when you couldn’t sleep, right? I’ll tell you how to get to a strange channel. First, you need an old TV. A set-top box is okay, but get the oldest one possible. After midnight is fine. Around then, turn the volume down to zero and lower the screen brightness as much as you can. Then keep switching random channels about ten times, until you find one with static. Once you find a channel with static, press channels 3, 33, and 333, then press the previous-channel button four times. If you did it right, the screen brightness will change and a channel will appear. I don’t know what will come on. In my case, it was something like a religious broadcast. Try it yourselves, and share it if you find something interesting!
“Assistant Manager Seon, did something good happen?”
I hurriedly closed the advertisement and the blog. Section Chief Chae was having an energy drink and coffee together. I was starting to worry that Section Chief Chae would soon be taken to the emergency room with acute kidney failure...
“Ah, no. Why?”
“You were smiling so much. I thought maybe a performance bonus had landed.”
A bonus. Right. Come to think of it, I had money.
The twenty million won I received for resolving the Jangsalgot Submerged Site! And what had appeared before me was not some fake ghost-story item made who knew where, but an invitation page for a home-shopping channel operated by a real ghost story that sold real ghost-story items!
An idea flashed through my head as though a spirit had descended upon me.
‘This is an opportunity.’
The instant work ended, I flew home. I cleared away the useless things around me, dragged the smart TV to the middle of the living room, and grabbed the remote.
— I’m concerned that my partner may be trying to purchase a suspicious item.
“Why? Unidentified items from you, home shopping, or online C-Bay don’t seem all that different.”
— How could you say that? Even though I try to give my partner only the very best things?
“I still haven’t forgotten the ghost that was stuck to my ceiling.”
Don’t try to pull something on me. Who was it that made me experience ghosts for more than three nights and four days because I wouldn’t go to Bloodwater Valley?
Old jazz made a few sounds like a skipping LP needle, expressing its mild displeasure, but there was no further protest.
— Still, we’re partners now, aren’t we?
It sounded a little like Hertz was watching my reaction.
Of course, Hertz had been fairly devoted to me since we became friends under the name of partners, but... I shouldn’t raise my expectations.
“Sure, sure. That’s why I trust you too. I even bought you a new radio.”
— Radio is always a reliable medium! Since we’re speaking of it, though, television isn’t a very trustworthy channel, Partner. Home shopping is even worse. It’s overflowing with fakes, so you must be careful.
I had noticed it before, but perhaps because Hertz was a radio ghost, Hertz seemed to have a strong aversion to frequency-based media that came after radio.
We had once had a long discussion about auditory horror and visual horror, but we never reached a conclusion. We just kept running along parallel lines.
Anyway.
As soon as midnight passed, I turned off every light and switched on the TV. Then I pressed random channels several times, then 3, 33, 333, and back.
WEIc0M22222!
The TV screen shook violently. A low-quality image like a 1990s videotape poured out images amid frantic glitches.
The rapid-fire images stopped abruptly, too fast for me to make out what any of them were.
Then came a 3, 2, 1 countdown like the beginning of an old black-and-white film... Soon, a crude 3D animation appeared in the center of the screen.
WEIc0M2 †† Welcome
♜Midnight Department Store★N1GthT Dr2M C0r2♜
☎Order now 4444-33-333☎
%%$Look at the items$%%
A cylinder with a ball perched on top, the sort of thing everyone made when first trying 3D, spun around in a whirl, gleaming in neon colors.
— Good heavens. What a coarse frequency, utterly devoid of progress. Isn’t this a waste of the vibrations flowing through the world?
Hertz began pouring out what sounded halfway between insults and criticism aimed at the channel. Well, Hertz could do that. It was still more watchable than a client with terrible taste picking out a design concept.
— Partner, shouldn’t human money be spent on something more valuable?
“Yeah, and the most valuable thing to me is ghost stories.”
— Even ghost stories have standards. I didn’t think my friend’s life was difficult enough to require digging through such low-grade advertisements...
I had taken the bait from your chain letter too.
“Why are you picking a fight with Night Core when you sent me ghost stories through spammy blog comments too?”
— I would say I placed importance on aesthetics!
No, you didn’t.
Sorry, but a poorly made advertisement is the same whether it’s on the radio or TV. If anything, this was just aesthetically ruined, while Hertz was only out of touch with the times.
Ignoring the rest, I clicked the “Look at the items” button, which was flashing like fireworks.
% % To‽day’s♜Ite‽m % %
A page closer to an online shopping catalog than home shopping appeared on the screen.
Footnotes:
Night Core refers to the advertised channel or brand that Jaehyeon is teasing.
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