WeTried Translations
Translator: [IncomeElastic]
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ I Became an Undetected Priest Impersonator ◈
Chapter 9
──────
I Became the Gallery's Head Admin (3)
"What's with that face this early in the morning?"
"..I saw something nasty first thing this morning."
Clicking into a post calling for the admin without a shred of suspicion had been my mistake.
I'd been subjected to a visual assault of photos of someone raping a goblin and shit pics.
Even I couldn't help feeling dizzy.
[To make a lazy Head Admin work, you need goblin Kas and shit pics]
ㄴ[Why is this a tip]
ㄴ[(Dumbfounded Con)]
ㄴ[Head Admin user manual ㄷㄷ]
"Tsk. Drink a glass of cold water and get ready. With the patients who couldn't make it yesterday piling in too, we'll have quite a few today."
"..Will do."
"Well, even so, there probably won't be any urgent cases. The orcs have been subdued, and nobody's running a big construction project."
‘Every time someone says that, an urgent patient turns up.’
But I didn't bother saying it out loud.
It was nothing more than a jinx, after all.
Margaret wasn't wrong.
As if to prove my needless worry right, patients did pile in, but none of them were urgent.
‘Well, even jinxes miss now and then.’
For most of the patients who came, prescribing medicine or disinfecting a wound was enough.
I used Heal now and then, but only on young children with weak immune systems.
"Hey, Priest. You healed that little kid, so why are you only giving me a prescription?"
Of course, there were people who kicked up a fuss like difficult customers.
But a clean response was enough to bring the patient around.
"If you don't like it, get lost."
"No, I wouldn't say I don't like it.."
"Then sit down quietly, take your prescription, and go."
"..Yes, Priest."
At the threat, or rather the kind response, the man took his prescription and left meekly, as if he'd never been a pain at all.
Still, I did worry a little that the severity of my words was a bit much for a priest.
"As expected of a wandering priest, you've got a rough edge or two."
But Margaret was actually pleased.
"Keep doing that from now on. If you smile and humor them, they think they can get away with it and just drag out the time."
"Will do."
Maybe that one show of firmness worked.
After that, the number of patients demanding miracles for no reason dropped noticeably.
Thanks to that, I found a brief lull and opened the Gallery.
[Pudadadadat!]
[Taking advantage of the Head Admin not watching, I'm posting a sleek kobold naughty pic!]
[Ugh fuck, guess I'm taking a break from the Gallery for a while]
I glanced around for no reason and clicked it in secret.
Title: Taking advantage of the Head Admin not watching, I'm posting a sleek kobold naughty pic!
Author: ㅇㅇ(69.69)
(A sleek elf naughty pic)
Be grateful, human
[Thanks]
[(Thanking Chimpanzee Con)]
[Did you have to bait us?]
[Disappointed..]
ㄴ[Why on earth are you disappointed]
‘So this is a kobold.’
I quietly saved the kobold (not) naughty pic.
After saving it, I slowly took in the mood of the Gallery.
It was better than yesterday, when everyone had been swallowed by the fear of the Gallery being shut down, but it still fit the description of a total mess.
The spamming and trolling carried on as before, and if I looked away for a moment, vile photos that contaminated the brain kept getting posted without pause.
‘Come to think of it, they said they'd leave the management to those Sub-Admin things.’
The Gallery being this chaotic seemed largely due to there still being no Sub-Admin.
‘I do need to pick Sub-Admins to take over the management.’
From what I'd found out, a Sub-Admin was a sort of "employee" appointed by the Head Admin.
And paying wages to hire an employee was "common sense."
The problem was that I wasn't exactly well off, and I had no means of paying wages at all.
‘It'd be nice if they'd work for free, but there's no way anyone in the world is that crazy.’
The previous Sub-Admins would surely have coughed up blood if they'd heard that.
I was mulling over whether there might be something suitable when it happened.
-Gallery Settings
In the upper corner of the Gallery, an item I hadn't seen before caught my eye.
‘A menu only the admin can see?’
I studied it closely, then clicked in to check.
[Tab Management]
[Recommended Post Criteria]
[Posting Cooldown]
[Banned Word Settings]
[Sub-Manager Management]
.
.
.
[Add Gallery Feature]
Gallery Settings was, quite literally, a dedicated page for touching the Gallery's settings.
While looking through the settings one by one, I found an interesting feature at the bottom.
‘With this, I could offer perks instead of wages.’
But I wondered why the former Head Admin hadn't used such a useful feature. The reason became clear soon enough.
-Gallery Feature: Auction House
-Your mana is not suited to activating this feature.
‘So the features that can be activated differ depending on the user's mana?’
It seemed that which features could be activated varied with the type of mana.
Then had the former Head Admin been unable to use any features at all?
I checked the remaining records.
That wasn't the case.
The former Head Admin had also activated a few features.
The most notable of them was IP tracking, which pinpointed the locations of Gallery users.
‘Maybe it's a good thing they died, if anything.’
That was my honest thought.
I knew full well that impersonating a priest was a problem, so it was better that no one, not even a fellow countryman, knew my identity.
A queasy feeling welled up in me, but the person was already dead. I shook my head clear and picked out the features I could activate.
‘Only two for now?’
-Gallery Feature: Item Transfer is being activated.
‘I don't know what my mana has to do with Item Transfer, but if I handle it well, it should make a decent reward.’
I wrote a post on the Gallery right after.
Title: (Notice) Recruiting Sub-Admins.
Anyone interested, please apply in numbers.
The response was explosive.
[Meee! Make me a Sub-Admin! Pick me! I'm confident I'll work hard!]
[Applying]
[Head Admin, I get that you're new to the Gallery, but you can't recruit Sub-Admins like this]
[This Head Admin is giving off total newbie energy ㅋㅋㅋ Don't you know if you make Sub-Admins out of idiots dying to wear the armband, the Gallery goes to hell?]
ㄴ[Let's not say bad things like "it's already gone to hell" no no]
[First time I've seen a Head Admin recruit Sub-Admins like this;]
[Line!]
Some people applied, but among them there were quite a few users warning that handing out titles this way would cause problems for managing the Gallery.
‘Then they're saying I should force people to work? I don't understand.’
But when more similar comments kept coming, I wondered whether I might really be ignorant and asked for their opinions.
[Is it not okay to recruit Sub-Admins like this?]
ㄴ[Normally you don't give a title to someone who wants a title..]
ㄴ[? So you're telling me to grab people who don't want to do it and make them?]
ㄴ[Yep, correct]
ㄴ[At least in the Gallery, that's right, Head Admin, dude]
‘..They're clearly teasing me.’
They were clearly all in cahoots to tease me for being a newbie.
I ignored the reply comments and checked only the applications.
‘The first three to apply should do.’
Applying quickly meant they looked in on the Gallery often. They'd have the aptitude, and surely enough time to manage it.
-User <Greenskin Naughty-Pic Bomber> is appointed as a sub-manager.
-..is appointed as a sub-manager.
-…
The trouble came right after I appointed the Sub-Admins.
"Priest Flowie! Priest Margaret! Urgent patients!"
‘See, it's not a baseless jinx.’
The jinx I'd thought had missed this time finally hit after all, and urgent patients came flooding in.
I closed the Gallery at once and stood up.
For a moment I remembered I hadn't told them about the newly added feature, but there was no time to dawdle.
…
[Is the Sub-Admin list for real]
ㄴ[Who all became Sub-Admins?]
ㄴ[Greenskin Naughty-Pic Bomber]
ㄴ[Fuck, we're fucked]
Surprisingly, the reaction to the new Sub-Admins cooled quickly.
All the attention had been stolen elsewhere.
By the new feature, no less.
Of course, at first nobody believed the new feature existed.
[Guys, what's this?]
ㄴ[What]
ㄴ[They say a feature got added]
ㄴ[???]
ㄴ[What kind of bullshit is this idiot spouting while the Gallery's on fire. Did you inhale carbon monoxide or something?]
ㄴ[No fuck, it's real!]
ㄴ[Bullshit-n]
[Head Admin you bitch, so what does Item Transfer even do!]
[?? It actually showed up]
But once testimonies of people finding the same feature kept coming in, the mood flipped.
After checking with some doubt, in the end everyone found the feature and accepted it.
Still, finding the feature and being able to use it were separate matters, so there were bound to be plenty of trials and errors.
[Looking for someone to test Transfer with me. I'll send an item]
ㄴ[Let's go]
ㄴ[Sent]
ㄴ[Fuck, why the hell did you send shit!]
A few minor victims turned up in the process, but once they actually worked out the method, the mood of the Gallery heated up.
[This is literally a feature for sending items to Gallerians]
ㄴ[So it's just delivery that's insanely fast?]
ㄴ[That's what makes it awesome, you idiot]
ㄴ[Is it?!]
It was a feature that simply sent items, but the ways to use it were endless.
[Oh, looking for someone to swap local specialties with me]
ㄴ[I make my living as a peddler, wanna team up? Region is Konail Region in the Kingdom of Tyr]
ㄴ[I'm in the Duchy of Phil, let's go]
Delivery and trade were the prime examples, so some users who'd been short on money for a long time seized the new feature as an opportunity.
The only drawback was that the feature wasn't entirely free.
[But it seems to cost a lot of points]
ㄴ[100 points per kilo might look small, but it adds up, can't ignore it]
ㄴ[Fuck, shouldn't have gambled my points away so much]
ㄴ[Worth hoarding them for 10 years ㅋㅋㅋ]
Joy and sorrow were mixing in all sorts of ways.
Then the Sub-Admin fire I'd thought had been snuffed out flared up again.
Title: As expected, the best Sub-Admin perk is the Head Admin ㅋㅋㅋ
Author: Greenskin Naughty-Pic Bomber
(A pic with no Item Transfer fee)
While everyone else gets charged fees, Sub-Admins send for free ㅋㅋ
Burp.
[Motherfucking hell, seriously]
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