WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Arsène
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ I Became the Convenience Store Clerk the Rankers Are Obsessed With ◈
Chapter 16: Contact Me If You Need Eternal Life
──────
Ding.
A skeleton in a suit walked into the store, his bones rattling.
His three-piece suit looked expensive at a glance.
He carried a fine leather briefcase in one hand. A pair of glasses rested on the bridge of his nose, or rather, the bone there, giving him an intelligent look.
Judging by the red light shining from his deep eye sockets...
‘Is that person... no, that skeleton a lich?’
I'd assumed a lich would wear an old robe or carry a large staff.
But look at him.
A briefcase and a sharp suit?
‘I thought he was a lawyer or an office worker.’
“Hello. I'm here to collect a special order that was delivered here today.”
The lich spoke in a businesslike tone.
His voice was rough, like something scraping against bone, but his manner was polite.
“Oh, are you here for the cursed necklace?”
“That's right.”
“Just a moment.”
I took out the box with dark red energy creeping out of it and placed it on the counter.
“This is the one, right?”
“Yes. It arrived sooner than I expected. I thought I'd have to wait a few more days.”
The lich set down his briefcase, opened the box, and began inspecting the necklace.
He pushed his glasses up slightly, studying it carefully.
“I'll need to examine it a little further. I have to check whether the curse performs as well as it should. If it turns out to be faulty, we'll be the ones taking all the blame.”
“Take your time.”
As he studied every part of the necklace, he let out a heavy sigh.
“Haah. The amount of paperwork I had to do just to get this one purchase approved... The hunters in the floor 58 raid party have been making such a fuss about finding one that even black market prices have gone wild. Our lab's budget is nearly drained. And cursed item prices were already rising lately...”
He poured out his complaints.
Each time he continued, cold air filled the convenience store.
“Curses are trickier than you might think. Some work on undead, while others work on living creatures. Research takes longer when you have to account for all those differences, but our budget is limited...”
Honestly, I had no idea what he was talking about.
Still, wasn't smiling and nodding part of good customer service?
“But I heard this really lowers your movement speed and defense. Is that all right?”
I tried to keep the conversation going with something I'd heard from Lumina.
The lich adjusted his glasses and shook his head.
“That's hardly a problem for undead like us. The stats do decrease, but when you consider the opportunity cost, it's actually a gain. That's why so many choose it. Floors 58, 63, and 67 in particular are cursed zones already filled with all kinds of curses, so one more would barely be noticeable. On top of that, it allows us to avoid instant-death attacks, which means...”
Everything after that might as well have been an alien language.
I didn't understand a word.
His passion was enough to make me regret ever encouraging him.
I'm sorry, sir.
I have no idea what you're saying.
Perhaps he read that in my eyes.
“Ahem. My apologies. In any case, the item is well worth it. We analyze this curse and apply the same curse to other items.”
Analyzing a curse and applying it to another item.
I'd seen that plenty of times in RPGs.
Taking a trait out of one item and using it to enchant another.
“Then does that mean you can't use the item once you've analyzed it? I think I've usually seen the item disappear after the analysis.”
“That depends on the curse analyst's skill. I've heard some analysts can use a single item to apply the same curse eight times or more. I'm not quite that good myself.”
The lich gave an awkward laugh and finished his inspection.
“Excellent. This is indeed the high-grade item we ordered. I'll pay right away. Please charge the full amount, with no installments.”
I took the black card he held out, processed the payment, and handed him the receipt.
“By the way, you're remarkably calm around undead. Most people feel uncomfortable because of our demonic energy... You have an excellent attitude for customer service.”
“Well, all sorts of customers come here, so I'm used to it.”
His jawbone rattled at my answer.
“Hahaha. Is that so? Having a lively conversation about curses with a living creature was a new experience. Young people these days are far too negative about curses.”
By “young people,” do you mean people who are alive?
I couldn't quite bring myself to ask.
Mostly because I suspected I was right.
Unaware of my thoughts, he took a business card from his suit pocket and offered it to me.
“If you're ever going to die, please contact me. If you wish, I'd be happy to bring you back as an undead. Eternal life is within reach, provided you meet a few conditions.”
“What conditions would those be?”
“Well, you'd have to work for our company for the rest of your life. You'd lose your sense of taste, so you could no longer enjoy food. And you wouldn't need to feel sexual desire anymore. Eternal life in exchange for such minor penalties is quite a bargain.”
Hmm.
Better not.
Still, I couldn't refuse the business card he was offering, so I accepted it.
-Endless Operation, Inc.
-Director, Archmage (AM) Belarus.
He was a director?
No wonder his suit looked so expensive.
“Oh, do be careful of problem customers at work for the time being. Projects on the Tower's upper floors have been falling through one after another, leaving many hunters pushed back down. Their stress is probably at its peak, so try to smile and let things pass whenever possible.”
“Thank you for the advice. Take care.”
Director Belarus adjusted his glasses and left the convenience store.
Was it because it was an odd time of day?
There weren't many customers.
Even after the lich left, no one came in for quite a while.
Out of habit, I opened the Convenience Store Gallery.
[Title: Hey, is floor 67 seriously like this now?]
Heard the advance team all got wrecked by the traps and boss monster on floor 67 lol
Seriously, not a single hunter except the Seven Heroes has made it past floor 70. Talk about a brick wall.
[Comments 14]
Anon: So that's why the liches are buying up all the cursed necklaces to get through floor 67.
StoreGalleryRegular1: The price spike is insane. Went to the black market yesterday and they could charge whatever they wanted.
MagicTowerNightShift: The trap mechanics on floor 67 are total bullshit. One wrong move and you're dead.
Anon: └And how would you know that, may I ask?
MushroomBoy: └Tower guides are all you see if you browse the galleries lately.
ExcommunicatedPaladin: Yeah, everyone's stuck without even getting close to floor 70. Guess it's wrecked their mental health, because they come to convenience stores and act like total assholes. Things are fucking tense lately. Watch out, everyone.
StoreGalleryRegular2: Oh, fuck. So that drunk bastard who knocked over a display early yesterday morning was on the floor 67 advance team.
Anon(118.23): These hunter problem customers seriously go wild taking their anger out on us. One grabbed me by the collar yesterday T_T
Anon: What are the cops doing? Why aren't they arresting those bastards?
The gallery was full of complaints about the growing number of hunter problem customers after their failed attempts on the Tower's upper floors.
“Sounds like a lot of hunters cause trouble at night.”
Maybe it was because I only worked the day shift, but I hadn't really noticed it.
The day shift had its share of problem customers too.
Definitely fewer than at night, when people were drunk on alcohol or caught up in their late-night feelings.
How should I put it?
They were almost... nice problem customers?
Office workers in a rush to avoid being late on their way to work or during lunch.
Their urgent demands for me to hurry because they were busy.
When people were in a rush, they sometimes forgot things they needed to do. That occasionally led to communication problems.
“That's 3,400 won.”
“Keep up the good work!”
“You need to pay before you leave!”
“Oh, I'm sorry! I'm in a hurry. Just keep the change!”
They'd take their things without paying, or leave without collecting their change.
“Haah. Why are you so slow? Can't you bag it faster?”
Or they'd take out the frustration of being chewed out at work on the part-timer they met on their way home.
‘I should ask the manager later.’
About what the problem customers were like at night.
As I scrolled down, a post title happened to catch my eye.
[Title: Guys, what's big sis Lumina like when she makes deliveries?]
Lumina.
Our delivery driver, Lumina, who brought goods to our store too.
The large breasts I'd seen inside her leather jacket were still perfectly clear in my mind.
‘So she delivers to other stores too.’
Well, of course she wouldn't only deliver to ours.
The city was full of convenience stores.
[Title: Guys, what's big sis Lumina like when she makes deliveries?]
[Author: OlderHeartCharmer]
She always comes to our store with her motorcycle helmet pulled firmly on.
And she keeps her leather jacket zipped all the way up to her neck. Isn't she hot?
I've never seen even a bit of her skin.
She's rude as hell too.
“Sign here.” That's all she says.
But has anyone seen inside her helmet?
Something tells me she's a real beauty.
[Comments 22]
DeliveryDriverHater: lol she never takes that helmet off. I tried offering her a drink to get her to take it off, but she straight-up ignored me and left.
StoreGalleryRegular2: Can confirm she's cold. Gets the job done and leaves right away.
ExcommunicatedPaladin: But aren't all delivery drivers like that? Isn't it just because they're busy?
MagicTowerNightShift: Nope, Lumina's especially bad. You'd think she was playing the part of some totally unapproachable woman.
I tilted my head as I read the comments.
‘She zips her leather jacket all the way up to her neck? And she's rude?’
Hmm.
That was a little different from the woman I knew.
I remembered how she'd leaned forward and teased me just a little while ago, wearing a crop top that left her cleavage and belly button in plain sight.
She'd even taken off her helmet and shown me something she considered deeply private.
I could still clearly picture that cute sight, her asking me to pat her head because she was tired as her flames went pop, pop.
“Maybe it's because she's close to the manager.”
People tended to become friends more quickly with a close friend's friends.
‘Judging by these posts, she seems especially relaxed around me...’
Let's not read too much into it.
The gallery users might have been exaggerating, or Lumina might simply have been in a particularly good mood today.
Still, it was nice to be liked by someone I worked with.
I put those thoughts aside and left a post.
-Anon: Took delivery of a cursed necklace for a customer today, and he told me to watch out for problem customers lately. Sounds like night-shift workers have it rough as hell.
-SquareWatermelon: └So fucking jealous of day-shift workers!
-StoreGalleryRegular2: └Trade shifts with me, pleeease.
-MagicTowerNightShift: └Night shift is hell. Stay away.
The moment I mentioned working the day shift, an enthusiastic welcome poured in.
* * *
Hunter Tower.
Kuroaki Sonya stood in front of the Tower, checking her weapon.
“Are you really heading back in right away? It hasn't even been a week since you finished your last raid.”
The manager of the project guild she belonged to spoke to her in a worried voice.
“There's no point in resting too long. Besides, I've found the most important item I need for the raid. There's no reason to hesitate, is there?”
She looked at the blue powder on her hand as she spoke.
World Tree pollen, which she'd received from the part-timer at the convenience store in front of Hunter Tower.
An essential item for clearing the curse-filled floor 73.
With this, she should be able to catch up to the record of the first-ranked Hero, who was currently attempting floor 80.
Maybe she could even beat her clear record.
“Even if I can't claim the first clear, I want the title for the fastest clear.”
Unable to change her mind, the guild manager bowed.
“May fortune favor you in battle.”
After checking her weapon one last time, she stepped into the portal leading to her target floor.
“I'm heading in.”
Come to think of it, she hadn't even asked the part-timer's name.
‘Once I finish the raid, I'll bring a thank-you gift to repay the favor.’
And she'd ask the part-timer's name then too.
She clenched her fist.
And that day...
The fastest clear record for floor 73, previously held by the Hero, one of the Seven Heroes, was broken.
Join our discord at https://dsc.gg/wetried