WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Arsène
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ I Became the Convenience Store Clerk the Rankers Are Obsessed With ◈
Chapter 5: Fight a Problem Customer with a Problem Customer?
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Problem customers.
An essential part of any convenience store.
In the beginning, there were convenience stores.
And problem customers were there with them.
If convenience stores had a history book, wouldn’t that be how it began?
That was how closely problem customers were attached to convenience stores.
Even before working at this store, I’d met all kinds of people.
Middle-aged men who got drunk and threw up on the shelves.
Students who swore at me for checking their IDs.
Even middle-aged women who threw ten-won coins at the counter when I told them a bag cost fifty won.
The spectrum of problem customers was as vast and deep as the universe.
And the problem customers here in Taepyeong City weren’t much different.
‘There were races like elves that I just couldn’t get through to. But most cases ended without much trouble.’
-Problem customers have levels too. If smiling and playing along is enough to handle them, you can consider them level 1.
-It’s debatable whether level 1s even count as problem customers.
Problem customers had levels?
The anonymous user who’d offered to share tips for dealing with them said they did.
-Honestly, you only need a strategy starting at level 2.
-Take kobolds. The miners who wear lamps on their heads are greedy, so they often want things that don’t belong to them.
-If about five of them come in together, you can be 100 percent certain they’ll steal something.
-Keep your eyes on them. Usually, warning them before they steal anything off the shelves is enough to deal with them.
-Of course, if you’re busy, you’ll lose track of them. In that case, say goodbye to your hourly pay.
-Minotaurs with tattoos on their arms are the gym rats of gym rats. Those guys are fucking impatient and lose their shit over the slightest delay. Compliment their muscles when that happens, and they’ll calm down. But if they lose it three times or more, they’ll go on a rampage, so get help from the other customers.
-If there are any carnivorous beastfolk in the store, they’ll calm down faster than you’d expect. They might not even make a scene.
-A lot of dwarves talk down to part-timers and order them around. Most of them come in drunk, no matter what time it is, so watch out.
-Sometimes they start throwing up, which bumps them up to level 3...
-Ah, just thinking about it pisses me off. Fucking bastards.
-Sorry, got a little carried away. Anyway, that’s about it for level 2. Levels 3 and 4 have their own posts under the strategy tab, so take your time reading those.
I let out a dry laugh at the anger pouring out of the messages.
Just as players shared strategies for beating bosses in RPGs, people in this community apparently shared ways to deal with problem customers.
‘I guess that makes sense, considering half the posts are about them.’
Apparently, the concentration of problem customers was higher here than in convenience stores on Earth.
I sent the anonymous user a reply.
-What level are elves?
-Elves? They start at level 3 or 4. They’re stubborn as fuck and insist they’re always right. Forcing them out isn’t easy, either. I mean, they’ve lived for hundreds of years. No way they’re weak.
I thought of Friella, who’d visited our store.
She’d wailed and demanded that I barter with her.
‘She called herself a queen, so I wonder if she’s really strong.’
She probably was.
And it had cost me 1,500 won to calm that elf queen down.
Maybe I’d gotten off cheap?
-And finally, the long-awaited level 5 problem customers.
-These aren’t whole races. They’re famous individuals with names people recognize.
-Avoid these customers at all costs. Just do whatever they ask. As long as it’s not a refund or something like that, you can give in.
-Call the Taepyeong City police if you can. These people are fucking strong, which makes them stubborn, but they tend to back down in front of the authorities.
I thanked the anonymous user for sending me the list of problem customers.
-We’re all in the same boat. Gotta help each other out. There’s a post with descriptions of the level 5s, so read it in advance.
‘This place is a lot more helpful than I expected.’
They didn’t just share stories about their daily lives. They even shared lists of problem customers.
I had a feeling I’d be relying on this place a lot.
Lying in bed, I carefully read through the gallery’s list of problem customers and the examples for each level, one by one.
* * *
A brown-bearded dwarf trudged into the store.
His face was bright red. Apparently, he’d already had a drink, even though it was morning.
“Got beer?”
“Yes. If you go to the refrigerated section over there...”
“Lager, not ale.”
“As I was saying, we have all kinds in the refrigerated section.”
“I don’t even want to see an ale label. You bring it here.”
A drunken dwarf.
A level 2 problem customer.
At first, I’d wondered how anyone could call this mild.
Just listening to him made my blood boil and left me struggling to breathe.
“Then please look at the far end of the refrigerated section. We keep the lagers and ales completely separate, so they should be easy to find.”
“...All right.”
Still, when I followed the guide’s advice, he listened without much fuss.
Maybe that was why he was only level 2.
And just as the dwarf reached the far end of the refrigerated section...
“Excuse meee~~.”
A very drunk succubus approached the counter, flicking her tail.
She reeked of alcohol, as if she’d been drinking all night.
“Can I help you find something?”
“Oh my, a male employee? It’s always been the lady who owns the place when I’ve come heeere~.”
Reeking of booze, she sidled up to the counter.
“Hey, handsome. If you’ve got some time, want to go out for a drink with me?”
“I’m sorry, but I’m working. Is there anything you’d like to buy?”
“Aww... What a shaaame.”
I couldn’t let a compliment about my looks tempt me into following her.
Succubi were naturally pretty and beautiful, but I’d already heard what happened to males who fell for their charms.
[Title: Don’t Follow a Succubus Just Because She’s Pretty.]
This morning-shift employee used to compete in triathlons and work out regularly. Then they fell for a succubus, touched her boobs, and died right in front of me.
One short scream, and that was it. She drained every last bit of their sexual energy, and they were gone. Still can’t forget it.
Especially when a succubus is wasted. They don’t stop after draining you once. They keep sucking until you die, so don’t touch one unless you want to die during sex.
Drunken succubi were level 3 problem customers that required caution.
According to the guide, the way to deal with them was to act uninterested, ignore them, and just ring up their purchases.
One careless glance at her boobs...
“Hehe, my boobs are really pretty, you knooow...”
I kept the warning firmly in mind. She really would drag me off if I wasn’t careful.
As the lewd succubus flirted with me, her tail swishing...
Thud.
“Hey. Ring these up.”
The dwarf set his shopping basket on the counter and spoke flatly.
When the slightly tipsy dwarf cut in front of her, I heard the succubus click her tongue.
Nice one, Mr. Dwarf.
Was this what they meant by fighting fire with fire?
Using one problem customer to drive off another.
“Will you be paying cash?”
“Card. Don’t have cash.”
“Of course.”
I took his card and finished the transaction.
“Go to a bar instead of trying to pick up men here, you bitch.”
While I rang him up, the dwarf glared at the succubus and snapped at her.
“One pack of Ezon.”
Apparently, the mood was ruined. Every trace of sweetness had vanished from the succubus’s voice.
“That’ll be 4,500 won.”
“Hmph!”
Seemingly annoyed that her charms hadn’t worked, she snorted, snatched up the cigarettes, and left the store.
“Whew. I survived.”
If it hadn’t been for that dwarf, I might not have resisted the temptation of those boobs.
Huge boobs.
They really were big...
Smack!
Get a grip, you idiot.
You’d nearly fallen for it just now, and you still hadn’t learned.
Once that round of customers had left and the store was growing quiet...
Clank, clank.
A huge man entered, covered from head to toe in pitch-black full plate armor.
Black aura dripped onto the floor with every step he took. Anyone could tell he was dangerous.
‘Isn’t he hot?’
A full suit of metal armor and even a helmet in this weather.
I couldn’t so much as see his face inside it.
Moving his imposing bulk past the shelves, he headed to the bread section and swept up an armful of packaged bread.
‘Ah, I’m screwed.’
I knew that face.
I’d seen it on the gallery.
One of the level 5 villains.
A notorious name.
A deranged Demon King fetishist who bought piles of Demon King Bread and threw a fit if he didn’t get a Demon King’s Army commander peel-off sticker.
The only strategy was to hope he got a commander sticker from the bread. If he didn’t...
‘Calming him down comes before anything else.’
-Try putting him off by saying more Demon King Bread is coming tomorrow, or use an item with holy power.
I waited, going over the gallery’s warnings in my head.
The blacklisted Death Knight approached the counter.
“Ring these up, human.”
Along with his eerie, echoing voice, twenty packs of Demon King Bread came tumbling down.
Beep, beep, beep.
Once I’d scanned the barcodes and finished the transaction, the Death Knight began tearing open the bags right there.
Riiip!
“Grr... Another slime? Worthless trash.”
He pulled out only the sticker inside each bag to check it, then tossed the perfectly good bread onto the counter.
All twenty bags met that miserable fate, and red eyes flashed with anger through the gaps in the Death Knight’s helmet.
Of course they did.
Every sticker had been some low-level monster.
From a convenience store clerk’s perspective, I was screwed.
“Why did I get seven slimes? Clerk, is this not a scam?”
“Um, we just receive the products from our supplier, so I wouldn’t know.”
“I demand a refund.”
“What? But you just opened all of them.”
“Not one contained the ‘Demon King’s Army commander peel-off sticker’ I wanted! Therefore, these loaves are defective! Give me back my money at once!”
Bits of bread and plastic packaging littered the counter.
And there stood the Death Knight, making his absurd demand.
I flinched at his vicious killing intent, but I couldn’t back down.
If I refunded those, the money would definitely come out of my pay.
“Sir, we can’t refund opened products just because you’ve changed your mind. We’re getting a new delivery of Demon King Bread tomorrow, so if you could wait...”
“You dare mock me? You have already swindled me, yet you show no shame!”
Shing!
The Death Knight drew a greatsword from his waist, blue demonic energy pouring from its blade.
The lights in the store flickered, and the refrigerator glass rattled loudly.
“Look, how am I supposed to know what’s inside? We just sell whatever gets delivered.”
“Enough talk!”
Fuck.
I was completely fucked.
That was when it happened.
“Clerk, I’ve come to repay your kindness from yesterday...”
I heard a familiar voice.
“Huh? What’s going on here?”
It was Friella.
My very first problem customer, the self-proclaimed elf queen.
Ah.
As if things weren’t hard enough already.
Now I had two difficult customers.
She frowned when she saw the Death Knight threatening me with his drawn sword.
“Hey. You going to put that sword away?”
There was killing intent in her voice.
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