WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Arsène
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ I Became the Convenience Store Clerk the Rankers Are Obsessed With ◈
Chapter 9: Doppelganger
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[Title: Which problem customer would you pick as the worst?]
It was a post I'd seen on the gallery.
I'd come across it while reading up on problem customers.
There were already dozens of comments.
I figured there was no better way to learn about real cases involving problem customers in advance, so I clicked on it.
[Comments]
Anon(223.39): For me, it's those drunk orc bastards who smash the shelves. They can't control their strength and break all the display cases. Fuck.
ExcommunicatedPaladin: Knife-ears are probably the toughest. Once they become problem customers, there's no reasoning with them. Stubborn as hell.
StoreGalleryRegular: Fire spirits for me. Those fuckers complain it's cold when the AC's blasting, then burn down the whole magazine section.
Anon(57.42): └I know what you mean. Water spirits flood the floor, so you have to mop it three times.
Anon: Ghost types are the worst on night shifts. I swear these people live to mess with store clerks. They float cup noodles in the air, turn off the lights, and sometimes make up their own rules to hassle you. Fucking annoying.
NormalSexDrive: You guys haven't dealt with an exhibitionist slime yet, huh? They come into the store wearing nothing, keep glancing at the counter, and drip slime everywhere. Fuck... It's so damn hard to decide whether to call the cops;;
SlimeFucker: └Where's that? Need the address ASAP.
NormalSexDrive: └Not telling you.
MagicTowerNightShift: You guys have it easy. Those are cute. The absolute top-tier nightmare of a problem customer is a doppelganger. No contest.
Anon(118.235): └Doppelgangers aren't that bad. There are ways to deal with them.
MagicTowerNightShift: └One of those bastards scammed me. Fucking face phishing.
Anon: └Doesn't that just mean you're an idiot for falling for it?
MagicTowerNightShift: └These fuckers are thorough now. They copy the person's memories and face. Asking for their reservation number and phone number doesn't work anymore.
StoreGalleryRegular: └They've evolved. Fuck.
Anon: Didn't you call the cops?
MagicTowerNightShift: This guy's never dealt with a doppelganger. When those bastards show up, they put a barrier around the area, so you can't get any outside help.
Anon: ?? Doppelgangers can do that?
MagicTowerNightShift: That's why people keep falling victim to them.
A doppelganger that could copy someone else's exact appearance.
There really were all kinds of problem customers out there. That was what I'd thought as I closed the gallery.
And now...
That very kind of doppelganger had come to our store.
A worn silver breastplate, a shallow sword scar on the right cheek, and bloodshot eyes.
Two identical hunters were growling at each other.
One was the customer who'd ordered the holy-element greatsword that had arrived yesterday.
The other was a doppelganger who'd copied that customer's face and memories.
"I'm telling you, I'm the real one! This bastard was in my party. He spent a week with me and copied all my biometric information!"
"Don't give me that crap! That's what I was going to say, you fucking con artist!"
"Order number A-1185243! Choi Deokpal! That's my name and order number, isn't it?"
"This fake bastard keeps stealing the words right out of my mouth! Hey, clerk, take this. It's the receipt I got when I placed the order."
Both of them pressed forward, insisting they were the real one.
'But I seriously can't tell them apart.'
I could see why the gallery users had called them some of the hardest problem customers to deal with.
How was I supposed to tell?
This wasn't something a mere convenience store clerk could figure out.
Right.
I'd contact the manager.
She'd definitely be able to solve this.
'It's not something I have to handle alone.'
"Could you please wait a moment?"
I picked up my phone and called the manager right away.
Brrring.
- "Mmm... What is it?"
Her voice was thick with sleep, as if she'd only just woken up.
"Manager, a customer came to pick up the greatsword that arrived yesterday, but... I think one of them is a doppelganger. They're both making a scene, holding out receipts and claiming they're the real one. Should I call the police?"
- "...A doppelganger?"
Her reply came half a beat late, as if she was still half asleep.
- "...Mmm. Huh? A doppelganger came?"
"Yes. I couldn't tell which one was real, so I called you first."
- "Grrr, those insolent demons. How dare they try to pull a scam while the True Progenitor is away?"
"Are you coming over?"
- "I would very much like to, but that is impossible."
"You can't?"
- "Look out the window. Can you see outside?"
I looked out the window as she instructed.
The windows that usually showed the city streets now reflected the inside of the convenience store.
Me behind the counter, and the two men standing in front of me.
"All I can see is the store's reflection."
- "That happens when a doppelganger uses its power. They isolate the space and cut off contact with the outside so they can carry out their scams."
"What should I do, then?"
- "There are two ways. One is to force the barrier open. The other is to identify the doppelganger and see through its disguise."
"Can't you open the barrier and come in?"
- "Unfortunately, I cannot. There is a promise I made when I established the store."
The manager's voice grew more subdued.
"So I have to figure out which one's the fake."
- "Correct."
I heard her let out a heavy sigh over the phone.
- "The True Progenitor has always managed the store in person, so no doppelganger has ever come before. I let my guard down."
- "Fortunately, the person the doppelganger copied is here too. Ask them various questions and look for something that feels off. Even a doppelganger cannot have copied everything."
"Is there anything else I should know?"
- "The True Progenitor cannot tell you any more. That doppelganger can probably hear what I am saying right now."
At that, I looked at the two men arguing at the counter.
"Hand it over already! I'm the real one!"
"You bastard! Still haven't learned your lesson, huh?"
Two identical men.
They seemed completely caught up in their fight over the greatsword, but...
- "Even now, it will be listening to the conversation between my minion and the True Progenitor."
It was listening to us.
Then it would hear whatever solution the manager gave me and prepare for it.
- "I cannot tell you aloud. But, my minion, do you not have another way to learn how to deal with it?"
"Another way?"
- "The gallery. The community you joined when you began working at the True Progenitor's store."
"How did you know about that...?"
- "There is nothing the True Progenitor does not know. Heh heh!"
Her smug voice came through the phone.
- "In any case, ask the users there for help."
"Understood. Since you've trusted me with this, I'll make sure I handle it properly."
- "I am counting on you."
"By the way, Manager."
- "Hmm?"
"Are you a user there too?"
- "That is a secret."
With that, I hung up.
I'd confirmed that I couldn't get help from outside.
I looked at my face reflected in the window.
Fog so thick I couldn't see the scenery outside.
My face as clear as if I were looking in a mirror.
Look for something that felt off.
That was the hint the manager had given me.
I sighed and opened the gallery.
[Title: A doppelganger just showed up. What am I supposed to do?]
Two customers came into our store, and they look exactly the same. One's definitely the real customer, and the other's a doppelganger. They're fighting over which one's the fake. Any tips?
Less than a minute after I posted, comments started pouring in like crazy.
[Comments: 36]
MagicTowerNightShift: Wow, you got the exact same case as me lmaooo. The doppelganger and the real one are facing off one-on-one?
StoreGalleryRegular: Newbie's about to bite the dust. Hey, take a good look at their clothes first. Doppelgangers often can't copy brand labels.
ConfessionNun: Doppelgangers often produce a mirror image, so focus on that.
Anon(223.39): └Right. Check the engraving inside the armor or which way the breastplate buckles fasten. The real person usually fastens them the way they're used to, but doppelgangers tend to do it backward.
NoobShredder: └That doesn't work these days. Their species keeps improving. They check whether the target's right-handed or left-handed before getting to work now.
Anon(223.39): └How do you know that?
NoobShredder: └I wish I didn't.
NormalSexDrive: Try pricking their fingers. If the transformation isn't perfect, sometimes the blood comes out a different color instead of red.
MagicTowerNightShift: You can tell them apart if you picked up on some of the person's habits when you first took the order.
All sorts of advice poured in.
But there was one problem.
Their methods were all good, but I'd never met this customer, Choi Deokpal, before.
I studied the two men.
Following the gallery users' advice, I checked the engravings and buckles on their armor, the way their hair was parted, and where they kept their belongings.
'It's all identical.'
I had no idea how long the doppelganger had spent preparing, but nothing felt off at all.
"Could I see your hand for a moment?"
I even drew blood, as suggested.
"Ow!"
"Gh!"
Both had bright red blood.
'I'm fucked.'
The two were now glaring at each other as if they might draw their swords at any moment.
If I didn't settle this, they looked ready to start fighting right here in the store.
[Title: I'm fucked?]
Tried all sorts of things, but their blood's red, and all their stuff and behavior are identical. Fuck. What do I do?
MagicTowerNightShift: You're fucked lmaooooo. Welcome to my misery. Just tell them you'll give them the item later and send them both away.
StoreGalleryRegular: Won't that cause problems if it's expensive?
Anon: Better than getting scammed.
NoobShredder: Fuck, doppelgangers are brutal these days lmaooo.
Anon(223.39): Just give up. It's easier.
NormalSexDrive: This is pretty harsh on a newbie.
StoreGalleryRegular: Haven't these doppelganger bastards gotten way too precise? Even blasting them with holy power doesn't work.
The comments came in as if there was nothing else to be done.
Apparently, this was a first for them too.
Transformation.
Transformation, huh?
The methods the users had suggested were ways to catch a monster that transformed into an exact copy of its target.
Memories and appearance.
Even the color of the blood that came out when you pricked it was the same.
What would be the hardest thing for a doppelganger like that to copy?
'Its shadow.'
Unlike things that stayed fixed once it transformed, that was something it had to keep changing to match the light's position.
I hurriedly wrote on the gallery.
What about shining a light on both the doppelganger and the real person at the same time to check how their shadows change?
Wouldn't its shadow look like a monster, unlike its body? Or maybe it wouldn't have one?
MagicTowerNightShift: Oooh?
StoreGalleryRegular: Oooh?? That actually sounds plausible.
ExcommunicatedPaladin: Are you a genius? But the shadows from the store's regular fluorescent lights would be too faint to tell them apart clearly.
Anon: You need a damn strong light to get a clear shadow.
A strong light, huh?
I was looking around the store when it happened.
Ding!
[Anonymous User has sent you a private message.]
- Anonymous User: Swing the holy greatsword and shine its light on them. That'll reveal it.
It was the helpful user who'd given me a list of problem customers to help me adjust to working at a convenience store in Taepyeong City, and had even carefully explained what to watch out for on the gallery.
'Wait a second.'
How did they know our store had a holy greatsword?
The holy-element greatsword had only arrived yesterday.
It was the item we were going to sell to this customer.
There was only one person who could tell me to use it at this exact moment.
'...Manager?'
No matter how I looked at it, it had to be her.
Earlier on the phone, she'd dodged my question about whether she used the gallery by saying it was a secret.
But I wasn't rash enough to blurt out what I'd just realized.
She probably had a reason for not telling me.
Still, that message made one thing clear.
The manager, the True Progenitor herself, was certain this method would work.
- Anon: Thx thx. That helped.
I picked up the greatsword, which was still lying on the counter.
"Freeze."
I raised the sword as I looked at the two men, who'd been growling at each other as if they were about to fight.
"???"
"What?"
"I've found a way to tell the real one from the fake."
"You're not planning to cut us up with that, are you?"
"Of course not."
I shook my head.
"Nothing like that."
Actions spoke louder than words.
I swung the greatsword in my hands.
And at that moment...
Fwoooosh!
Light filled the convenience store.
"Aaagh!"
"Wh-what the hell?!"
The two men's shadows grew darker.
And...
'Just as I thought.'
One of the shadows had a shape that wasn't human.
"I guess no matter how good your transformation is, you can't do anything about your shadow."
At my words, the doppelganger, who'd been shielding his eyes, looked at his own shadow.
His face twisted at the sight of the inhuman shape.
"Ah... Fuck. Busted."
His face began to distort.
"You fake bastard! I knew it!"
Mr. Deokpal grabbed the fleeing doppelganger by the collar.
"Gah!"
At that moment, the barrier lifted.
The view outside the windows returned to normal.
At the entrance...
- "We're from the Police Bureau. Doppelganger Revrira, you have been caught in the act of face phishing and are under arrest."
Two golems in police uniforms stood there.
"Phew."
I'd handled it without incident.
Footnotes:
“Face phishing” plays on “voice phishing,” a common Korean term for phone scams. Here, the scammer steals a face rather than relying on a voice.
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