I Became the Mad Demon in a Novel - Chapter 1

WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: DereKimchi

◈ I Became the Mad Demon in a Novel ◈

Chapter 1: Mad Heaven Records

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Mad Heaven Records.

It was a martial arts novel I had been enjoying lately.

It did not have one of those long, sentence-like titles desperately fishing for attention. Just four honest, steadfast Chinese characters.

Martial arts stories like that tended to get buried these days, yet this one was hugely popular, with over thirty thousand bookmarks.

Once I started reading, I understood why.

The novel did not bother dividing martial arts attainment into third-rate, second-rate, first-rate, peak, transcendent, and so on. You could only guess at someone's strength through the fight scenes.

Naturally, that endlessly stirred up men's curiosity over who would win if A fought B.

One-Punch Man and Krillin were still regular contenders in debates over the strongest Earthling. Messi versus Ronaldo left the forums soaked in blood every time. How many of today's middle-aged men had fought with friends as children over whether Hulk Hogan or the Ultimate Warrior was stronger?

Every master in this insane novel was like that.

A was clearly portrayed as stronger than B. But then what if C suddenly appeared and put A in their place with martial arts?

Obviously, C should take the position of strongest.

But would you look at that?

C would then flee after being scared off by nothing more than a glare from B.

Every master who appeared was like this, so the food chain inevitably became tangled like a spiderweb. Readers fought savagely in the comments every time.

Sure enough, the Mad Heaven Records Gallery on one site was a veritable battlefield.

Subject: Mad Demon Yuk Jin-gwang is the supreme of all supremos.

Has Yuk Jin-gwang ever even unleashed the Six Mad Demon Forms all the way through its final form?

They trashed the Northern Emperor using just the fourth form. Most importantly, their clothes did not get wet despite the pouring rain. Yuk Jin-gwang is the only one ever described as maintaining a protective qi barrier at all times.

└Sigh... Not getting your clothes wet makes you supreme?

└LG Styler meta lololol

└But did the Northern Emperor even have the mental state to fight after losing both wife and daughter?

└Right. The Northern Emperor was just avoiding the fight.

└Bullshit lol. Would the Mad Demon be in their right mind after their father used a dantian-destroying technique on them? lol

└Northern Emperor stans are defending them with mental state now? Is having a glass heart something to brag about? lol

└Mad Demon, Northern Emperor, none of those bastards have tasted the spicy plum-blossom flavor yet. Daoist Cheongwoo is the best, you bastards! Mount Hua's foremost sword!

└The Mount Hua bugs crawled back out again lol. Keep trying until Namgung Cheon finishes closed-door cultivation.

Another peaceful day in the Mad Heaven Records Gallery, overflowing with countless shitty posts.

When I first found this gallery, I merely channeled Khaby Lame, snickering as I clicked away.

But in the end, even I could not hold back my rising anger and wrote a shitty post.

Subject: Why does everyone ignore the Celestial River Heavenly Sword Style, the greatest martial art of all time?

How can you discuss the strongest in front of our Miss Yul Soha, inheritor of the former Sword Saint's legacy?

The author already nailed it down as the greatest martial art of all time. I don't see the point of this debate.

└Welcome, SohaMom.

└As expected, the SohaMoms show up regularly lol.

└What is the mod doing? Clean this up before the gallery turns into a total mess again!

└Wow, just like the regulars said. It really is predictable. Another Yul Soha topic exactly one day later.

I felt strangely flushed, as though I had been branded an attention seeker muddying the gallery waters.

Unable to bear it, I hammered at the keyboard.

└No, the Celestial River Sword Sect is a single-successor lineage and has not reopened its gates. But once it does, won't it wipe the floor with everyone? The Celestial River Heavenly Sword Style is practically described as xianxia-tier.

└Fuck, you haven't even read chapter 300, have you?

That hit a nerve.

Honestly, I struggled to get past one hundred chapters of most novels these days.

Even so, I had read over two hundred chapters of this novel quite diligently.

But there were still more than seven hundred chapters left until the ending.

As befitted a popular work, it was enormous.

└What happens to the Celestial River Sword Sect later?

└Don't you know spoilers are banned?

I would not touch a novel until it was complete.

I was the kind of reader who slowly savored completed novels and read them at leisure.

Feeling embarrassed, I closed the gallery and reopened Geulpia.

I kept scrolling down.

Completed in 1,000 chapters.

The equivalent of forty volumes in print. An absurdly massive length.

Writing one novel for that long was somewhat worthy of respect.

I could never do it, even if someone beat me to death.

“Hmm?”

But something was strange.

Each chapter normally had hundreds of chaotic comments, sometimes well over a thousand.

Yet the final chapter of Mad Heaven Records did not have a single comment.

A work this popular should have had the most comments on its final chapter, if anything.

But zero comments?

Its view count was also far higher than the other chapters.

“...What is this?”

Before long, as if possessed, I clicked the final chapter.

But then.

The instant I pressed the purchase button, an uncanny sensation traveled up from the tip of my mouse.

Instead of the pleasant click I expected, a low vibration rang through my head.

Bzzzzzz...

“W-what is this!”

The monitor screen rippled like liquid and swallowed my hand.

It was real. It really was.

I panicked and tried to pull my arm back, but my body had already lost its balance and was pitching forward, as if something were dragging me in.

My vision twisted unrealistically.

A blue-white glow pouring from the monitor erased the furniture in my room.

The desk, the chair, even the empty instant noodle cups strewn around all evaporated into white noise.

That was my last memory.

* * *

My head felt like it was splitting apart.

An agonizing headache, as though thousands of needles were stabbing into my temples.

“Ughhh...”

I flailed about, feeling around with my hands, and touched something dry and crumbly.

It felt like rough dirt.

When my blurry vision finally cleared, I froze in place.

“...What? Where am I?”

My vision rippled as though I were looking through a warped lens.

But I could see clearly.

A brutally blue sky.

A sky so clear it was almost painfully cold, without a speck of fine dust.

Below it stretched sheer cliffs and a magnificent coniferous forest, spread before me like a panorama.

“No... no way, right?”

It could not be.

It had to not be.

The damp scent of the forest rushed into my nose, but I desperately shook my head in denial.

“Th-this is insane... S-status window?”

My voice cut uselessly through the empty air.

A passing bird flew overhead with a cry, and thankfully, no blue system window appeared before my eyes.

“Hah, see? Of course not. There's no way.”

I barely managed to calm myself.

Right. No matter how crazy the world had become, something this fantastical could not happen to an ordinary reader like me.

This was just a dream because I had read too many web novels.

Damn it, I really needed to quit web novels.

Reassured, I brushed the dirt off my clothes and started to stand.

Then.

“Hmm?”

At the far right edge of my vision, something small and transparent clung stubbornly to my gaze, like dust stuck to the edge of a monitor.

“...”

No matter how much I rubbed my eyes, it would not disappear.

It was a tiny mailbox-shaped icon, like one you would see on a Windows desktop.

With trembling fingers, I reached into the air.

There was nothing there, only empty space. But the instant my fingertips touched the transparent icon, a pleasant vibration ran through me like static electricity.

At that moment.

A translucent window popped up before my eyes.

[Mad Heaven Records Minor Gallery]

W-what the hell was this?

It was so absurd that I could not even speak.

But then.

As I scanned through the gallery posts, I realized this was not the gallery I knew.

Subject: I actually cracked the Namgung Clan!

I worked my ass off farming favor with an Azure Sky Swordsman, and this guy introduced me to the Namgung Clan's Outer Hall Master! If I butter up the Outer Hall Master, I think I can get as far as the Namgung Clan's collateral branch. Have I finally started my god-tier life in the martial world? Damn.

└The Azure Sky Swordsman is not some neighborhood idiot, you lunatic.

└You think the Five Great Clans are pushovers? lol

└Be careful. This is a famous scam that targets newbies. Don't get tempted into sending them a message.

└This bastard is still doing this? Don't go making cliques for no reason. They'll clean out your silver, then your soul.

└Newbies, shut up and read the announcements first.

“What... is this?”

The Gallers who used to play at ranking characters were nowhere to be seen.

Farming favor? Outer Hall Master? God-tier life?

These people were clearly talking as though they actually lived in some martial arts world.

It felt like a survivor community for a martial arts world.

With a trembling hand, I selected the next post.

No, more precisely, I thought about selecting it.

Subject: Don't go getting ideas about becoming a master.

Have any of you ever killed a living thing?

You are modern people who cannot help but squeeze your eyes shut even in front of a flopping fish.

When you read novels, you loved that satisfying feeling, right?

But when hot blood splashes, guts spill out, and the stench of corpses fills the air, most people lose their minds.

I have seen countless people get stabbed to death after making a fuss about learning martial arts.

Quit talking shit and quietly work as an inn server.

Subject: Ice arts are godly, and ice is invincible.

If you sell 3.75 kilograms of ice in Sichuan during midsummer, you can get at least twelve pieces of silver.

Wherever there is water, you are standing in front of an ATM, you bastards.

I have already saved up over a thousand gold ingots selling ice.

Becoming a martial arts world tycoon is not just a dream.

└So how are we supposed to learn ice arts in the first place?

└Rare qi arts like ice arts or yin arts are on a whole other level of difficulty to acquire. Just leaving the city is a dream, so how are you going to get all the way to the Northern Sea? And even if you somehow make it, do you think the Northern Sea Ice Palace is some cram school where they teach you if you pay?

└Why go to the Northern Sea? Isn't the White Hand Demonic Art an ice art too?

└Okay, then go throw yourself into the Demonic Cult with style.

└Are there even any Demonic Cult bugs still alive? lol

└Their blood and vital essence get sucked dry, and they become materials for the Grand Art. lol

└Voluntary jiangshi conversion. lol

Subject: Selling Plum Blossom Qi Art. Totally legit.

Not some fake going around martial arts schools. This is the real Plum Blossom Qi Art. I robbed the travel pack off a Mount Hua disciple who had just entered the martial world. Message me if interested.

└How much?

└Make an offer.

└Wow, this bastard might actually be legit. lol Then why don't you learn it yourself instead of selling it?

└I'm from the Beggar Sect, so I went all in on lightness arts.

└Holy shit! How many knots?

└Don't ask about personal details. Are you buying or not?

└Wow, first time seeing a Beggar Sect brother. Damn.

└This guy is a walking bounty. lol Watch yourself. You think there isn't a single Mount Hua disciple in this gallery?

└Brother! How do I become a Mount Hua Sect disciple?

└Please post a follow-up on teaching the beggar thief a lesson. I'll upvote.

Subject: I got acupoint-sealed. Please help me, brothers.

An escort guard picked a fight with me, then acupoint-sealed me. I have been unable to move for three hours already. The escort guard laughed and just left me here.

I will seriously pay you well.

└Where are you?

└Dragon Cave Inn in Hangzhou. I am in some sort of storage room, and I really think I am going to die.

└Hangzhou is in Zhejiang, isn't it?

└Fuck, Zhejiang is way too far.

└Stop falling for this crap. lol

└I hope nobody goes looking for them out of a kind heart.

└Does this trick still work?

└The moment you enter that storeroom, you'll probably get your head bashed in with a club. lol

└For fuck's sake, newbies, read the announcements first. lol

I felt dizzy.

Then this lush green world spread out before my eyes really was...