WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: DereKimchi

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◈ I Became the Mad Demon in a Novel ◈

Chapter 16: Joke Addict

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If you study someone’s eyes closely, you can usually tell what kind of bastard they are.

But everything about this one was ambiguous.

They did not have the shallow disposition of the Swordwood Lord, nor the desperate desire I had glimpsed in the Divine Maiden.

The only thing certain was that they were thoroughly enjoying the current situation.

The young attendant’s eyes gleamed like those of a cardsharp who had caught the scent of money.

‘Just as I thought. They want to use me for marketing.’

Within the Heavenly Demon Divine Cult, the Mad Demon was the second most famous figure after the Heavenly Demon. By modern standards, I was basically an influencer.

The Mad Demon personally drawing bone tiles every fortnight?

The marketing effect would obviously be enormous.

But if they handed all the increased profits over to me, there would be little point in hiring me as their advertising model.

They definitely had some other scheme in mind, but I could not read their hand. It was frustrating.

“No matter how I look at it, this feels like a trap.”

Even as I spoke with a deep frown, they kept smiling brazenly.

“I believe I have considered the noble Chuk-ang’s wishes and offered sufficiently favorable terms.”

“The problem is that it’s not merely favorable. It’s practically free.”

What was the real purpose hidden behind that sinister smile?

I suddenly stared at the one with the goatee.

“This is truly strange. An attendant is overseeing such a serious transaction. Who exactly is the master of the Fate Lot Pavilion?”

“They are a clever child who has been a great help to me. Please consider them my voice.”

“So you are a puppet after all?”

“N-no, that is not what I meant...”

“What do you mean it isn’t? You look exactly like a dimwitted puppet.”

“...”

Even as I said that, I kept watching the attendant’s expression from the corner of my eye.

They narrowed their eyes and smiled as if I were ridiculous.

My fist clenched.

“Your eyes are disrespectful.”

“What I find stranger is that the Chuk-ang who personally visited the Fate Lot Pavilion does not know of this Agyo.”

Agyo?

Was that their byname?

But even Que Biao had never mentioned someone like this.

“Do I need to know the byname of some attendant?”

“Every Venerable who has shown interest in the Fate Lot Pavilion’s profits has come to Agyo first.”

I had no choice but to shut my mouth.

This was clearly my mistake.

I had suddenly started asking someone who knew nothing but swordplay about the workings of money.

I was insane for trying to understand the Demonic Cult’s complicated power structure through Que Biao.

I had made myself look like the Heavenly Demon Divine Cult’s Chuk-ang running around without even the most basic information.

“So? Are you trying to mock me?”

“How could that be? I was merely surprised that you sought the rights to the fate lots while passing over Agyo.”

“You little bastard.”

“Eek! What benefit could there be in punishing a lowly attendant?”

The attendant curled up theatrically, playing it up for a laugh.

This bastard was becoming more blatant by the second.

“If you insist on acting this way, I’ll have no choice but to call the other Venerables! Please, our great Chuk... ang, kimochi.”[1]

Hup.

That out-of-nowhere meme nearly made me burst out laughing.

Could this bastard be suspecting I was a Galler, no, a newbie, just because my knowledge was so pathetic?

I barely kept my expression indifferent and glared.

“Other Venerables?”

“How could I dare lie in Yer mum... ah... jestic presence? So many Venerables are always concerned for my safety.”[2]

What? Yer mum... ah... jestic?

What was that supposed to mean?

‘This bastard?’

Somehow, the wording assembled itself into a parental insult in my head, and it got under my skin for no reason.

The way they slipped strange jokes into every other line made them far more dangerous than they seemed.

Still, I had already been thoroughly burned by the Swordwood Lord.

I was past the newbie stage where I would react so easily to something like this.

“Do you have some sort of speech impediment?”

“What do you mean?”

“Never mind.”

That attendant bastard was probably snickering inside.

For some reason, it was hard to stay calm.

“I’ll return later.”

The attendant immediately prostrated themself on the floor.

“Our doors will always be wide open as we await your return.”

* * *

Even after returning to the Revered One Hall, my anger did not fade easily.

I felt as though I had been toyed with from beginning to end.

Thinking they would be easy because they were posing as a young attendant had been my mistake.

“That Agyo from before seems fairly famous. You really didn’t know them?”

“...I had never seen them before.”

Looking at Que Biao lying prostrate on the floor of the main hall made my insides burn.

‘Seriously.’

Since I knew the original novel, I had always thought highly of the Ten Armies of the Mad Demon.

I had seen their terrifying martial prowess and lightness arts firsthand.

In terms of strength alone, they were among the finest elites in the Hundred Thousand Mountains.

More than anything, their blind loyalty, their willingness to stake their lives on my behalf, had even inspired a strange sense of awe in me.

But in the end, they were only swords.

A combat unit specialized in protecting the Mad Demon, in the most literal sense.

I could not expect them to know about the Demonic Cult’s secret flow of money or information from its underbelly.

It felt strangely empty.

Just like when I first met the Heavenly Demon, I was holding the Silent Aeon Demon Soul but could not see where to swing it.

‘What about the Divine Maiden?’

They were the Heavenly Demon Divine Cult’s therapist.

They listened to the worries of Demonic Cult members every day.

Naturally, there had to be a substantial amount of information from the Cult’s underbelly in their head.

I desperately wanted someone like a strategist.

If they knew the Demonic Cult’s situation, were highly capable, and most importantly got along with me, I would not care if they were a Galler.

I was in no position to reject even a straw right now.

‘Hmm.’

The problem was that meeting the Divine Maiden in the Ten Thousand Demons Hall was extremely complicated and difficult.

Especially since the Chuk-ang meeting the Divine Maiden always attracted attention.

Of course, I could use a private post in the gallery.

But it was private in name only.

All the Return Seekers, however many there were, shared its secret contents.

Besides, prying information out of them would mean poking at the trauma they suffered through every day.

I had no choice but to pass on the Divine Maiden.

...Which meant, in the end.

There was no one.

‘This is... This is really pissing me off.’

17,441 people.

That was the number of readers who had clicked the final chapter and been sucked into this hell.

Among them were crusty veterans like the Swordwood Lord.

There were people steeped in trauma like the Divine Maiden, and people who had evolved into capitalist monsters like Agyo.

There were probably plenty of skip freaks like me, thrown into this mess with nothing.

In the end, this world would not proceed according to the novel the author had written.

The very fact that lotteries were flourishing within this murderous Heavenly Demon Divine Cult had already broken the original story.

The Swordwood Lord’s judgment was completely right.

I did not want to, but it was time to make choices I hated.

‘The strongest one, after all, is...’

Fierce Lord.

The Heavenly Demon’s eldest son, First Young Master Cheon Woo-gang.

Of course, he was not on good terms with the Mad Demon, but at least they were not like the Mad Demon and Blood Lord, who had to tear each other apart and kill one another.

“How do I meet Fierce Lord in person?”

At my question, Que Biao’s shoulders twitched.

They slowly raised their head and looked at me.

There was unmistakable concern in their eyes.

“Why Fierce Lord all of a sudden...?”

“To get him on my side.”

“What?”

There was no need to make all three of them my enemies.

If fighting them head-on was difficult, I only had to make one of them my ally.

The problem, of course, was getting them to accept that.

“Impossible! Absolutely impossible! Have you forgotten everything that happened?”

What exactly was that supposed to mean?

I knew nothing about events after Chapter 206.

“Think realistically. Those who used to mix like oil and water have joined hands now. They are terrified of what I might announce in the Heavenly Demon’s name.”

“Chuk-ang!”

Ignoring Que Biao’s anguished cry, I continued.

“But at their core, they are still fighting over the succession. If I begin taking one person’s side in the Heavenly Demon’s name, then perhaps we can forget the past and join hands?”

Though I had not given them permission, Que Biao suddenly dropped all formality.

“That means completely breaking with your main house, the Mad Blood Sword Clan! Do you think the Mad Blood Demon Emperor, who took Blood Lord in as an adopted son, would want that?”

I snorted.

“My ties to the Mad Blood Sword Clan ended when they destroyed my dantian and expelled me from the clan. I encountered a stroke of fortune and even obtained the Silent Aeon Demon Soul, yet that person still brought another adopted son into the clan. Do you think any loyalty to that clan remains in me?”

“No! Impossible! It would definitely give the Mad Blood Sword Clan a justification to interfere in the succession struggle! Are you saying you will break the Demonic Clan Pact yourself?”

“Blood Lord already broke it.”

“Argh! This is driving me crazy!”

Judging by Que Biao clutching at their hair, they truly did not want to agree, even if it killed them.

But I had already made up my mind.

For the Mad Demon, who had nothing but a name, all that remained was a bold gamble that would overturn the whole board.

“I’ll side with Fierce Lord and eliminate Blood Lord. That’s it. No more objections. I’m the Chuk-ang.”

“Jin-gwang!”

“Tsk! The authority of the Chuk-ang!”

Bang! Bang!

Seeing Que Biao slam their forehead against the floor with their face flushed red did not make me feel good.

There was clearly some tangled history with Fierce Lord, but not knowing it was only frustrating.

I soon grabbed Que Biao’s shoulder and stopped them before they could smash through the floor of the main hall.

With a vivid red bruise on their forehead, Que Biao looked up at me resentfully.

“Let’s survive. That comes first.”

“Jin-gwang...!”

“Yes, Que Biao.”

“Are you... really all right? Does the face of Gwan Yeong, who died so miserably, truly not come to mind?”

Right. Who the hell was Gwan Yeong now?

My temples throbbed.

It would be nice if I knew all of my history with these people.

But what could I do?

I was a damn skip freak.

Of course, I could make a rough guess.

Gwan Yeong was clearly someone who had left an unerasable wound on Mad Demon Yuk Jin-gwang, or perhaps on the entire Ten Armies of the Mad Demon.

But then.

“If you think of Gwan Yeong! No, if you think of us even a little...! Ghk!”

Que Biao’s voice, which had been rising as though they were about to grab me by the collar, cut off at once.

Que Biao was no longer looking at me.

Their pupils frantically contracted and dilated as they stared past my shoulder, toward the highest, darkest spot in the hall.

Toward the grand tutor's chair in the distance.

“What? What’s wrong all of a sudden?”

Following their gaze, I froze too.

That body whose bundle I had personally untied and whose chin I had propped up.

That corpse, which should have been unable to breathe a single breath, imprisoned within its soul.

“J-Jin-gwang!”

The corners of those pale lips, once sealed tightly in a straight line.

Were curling upward.

The Heavenly Demon, master of ten thousand demons.

Was smiling before I knew it.

Footnotes:

[1] Chuk-ang (축앙) ends in ang (앙), which the attendant draws out into “Chuk... ang, kimochi.” “Ang, kimochi” is a Korean internet meme based on a Koreanized Japanese expression meaning “ah, feels good.” The sudden modern, indecent expression is bait for a fellow Galler’s reaction.

[2] The attendant garbles a respectful Korean phrase into 어느금 안전마, hiding the syllables of 느금마, a vulgar “your mom” taunt. “Yer mum... ah... jestic presence” recreates that insult inside a deferential address, which the narrator catches a moment later.

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