WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: Irevi
Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried
◈ I Became the Upbeat Newbie the Infinite Regressors Are Obsessed With ◈
Chapter 26: Messenger of the Infinity-Difficulty Challenger
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After posting my magic swordsman declaration on the Infinite Regression Gallery, I briefly closed it while waiting for the Head mod and Archmage’s instructional videos.
Puppetmaster had also said she would add a correction function to the automaton based on the Head mod’s and my movements, so the gallery going dark for a while was practically guaranteed.
Which meant my next task was to browse the community and news to see how the director would respond.
After dealing with Lee Geon-woo for the first time, I had nothing to do but sit around twiddling my thumbs while waiting for Monolith’s inspection to end.
“But I need to sell the magic stone.”
An A-rank magic stone sat alone on the table.
I needed to sell it to move, build a training room, and do everything else.
Besides, now was the perfect time to sell it.
I had planned to wait until magic stone research was finished and prices stabilized.
‘But I already established connections with the Management Bureau as an Infinity-Difficulty Awakened.’
At this point, the magic stones appearing were D-rank at best, or C-rank if one was being generous.
And then I, an actual Infinity-Difficulty Awakened, showed up to sell an A-rank magic stone to the Management Bureau research team?
‘I can absolutely name my price.’
Even a three-year-old knew that an item’s price rose with its rarity.
So if I wanted to sell it at a slight premium over its first Run price, now was the best time.
The director coming to me humbly was practically a certainty.
Still, there was no harm in being careful.
‘Let’s see what the director has to say first.’
I sat down and began browsing communities and news sites.
“...Before that.”
The Awakened Gallery caught my eye.
It was the gallery where I had been fooled countless times during the first Run by bait posts claiming they could teach me how to Awaken.
“I can’t resist this.”
Unlike the close-knit Infinite Regression Gallery, anonymous galleries had their own charm.
I had time to spare until Pinocchia returned from clearing the Tutorial, so taking a brief detour would be fine.
Unlike the Infinite Regression Gallery, the Awakened Gallery had featured posts. I began exploring it.
The first post I saw was, of course, a featured post about the Infinity-Difficulty challenger.
[Infinity-Difficulty Challenger <- We Gotta Worship Them, Right?]
[Posted by: Anonymous]
lololololololololol
Humanity’s extinction timer?
Fifty thousand points?
The Infinity-Difficulty challenger can just reset it with one click.
ㄴNow that I’ve seen this post, I have no choice but to worship them....
ㄴIt’s fine lol
ㄴWhy are you calling them “bro”? It’s an established fact that the Infinity-Difficulty challenger is a beautiful girl.
ㄴWe give thanks to the Infinity-Difficulty Awakened who climbs the Tower for humanity.
ㄴDo you know the Infinity-Difficulty challenger?
ㄴYou don’t know the English words for “difficulty” and “strategist,” do you? lol
“Wow, it definitely has a different flavor from the IRG.”
Grinning broadly, I continued browsing the Awakened Gallery.
[Why the Infinity-Difficulty Awakened Has to Be a Beautiful Girl] [8]
[Moooooods!!!!] [8]
[Fuck, Don’t Click the Post Below] [10]
[Must Read! How to Awaken.TXT] [64]
[I Awakened, Should I Register With the Management Bureau?] [26]
[Awakening Turns Your Life Around, fr?] [23]
An old memory suddenly surfaced, and I nearly clicked that post.
Was it true that habits formed at three lasted until eighty?
Seeing the word Awakening had always made me click without thinking.
“I almost saw some insane poop pic.”
As expected, the bait post was deleted immediately.
[I’m the Head Mod. Permanent Ban for Posting Poop...] [14]
[Why the Infinity-Difficulty Awakened Has to Be a Beautiful Girl] [8]
[Moooooods!!!!] [8]
[Fuck, Don’t Click the Post Below] [10]
[I Awakened, Should I Register With the Management Bureau?] [26]
[Awakening Turns Your Life Around, fr?] [23]
The Awakened Gallery’s head mod was diligently fulfilling their duty as an eraser today as well.
That part had not changed much from the first Run.
“Must be rough.”
The Infinite Regression Gallery’s Head mod wielded authority over everyone, after all.
After browsing a few more nonsense posts, I searched for the Management Bureau director’s interview.
-Q. The Infinity-Difficulty challenger cleared Floor 1 and reset the extinction timer once again. Has the Management Bureau still failed to secure the strategist?
-A. The Management Bureau will not seek out the Infinity-Difficulty challenger in the future either.
-Q. Isn’t that person holding all humanity’s survival in their hands? People everywhere are demanding to know why you are not searching for them immediately.
-A. I would like you to understand one thing. As long as that person is climbing the Tower, the Management Bureau itself will firmly block any attempt to uncover their identity.
-Q. You said you were moving forward with Awakened registration procedures. Does that mean the Infinity-Difficulty challenger will remain unregistered forever...
I found several more interviews, but they were all the same.
Whenever asked about the Infinity-Difficulty challenger, the Management Bureau director maintained exactly the same stance.
‘Hmm. As expected of the director.’
It was reassuring to see the head of a national institution standing firm.
Now I just had to wait for Pinocchia to clear the Hard-Difficulty Tutorial and retrieve my weapon.
Of course, simply waiting was boring, so it was time to use my newly acquired skill.
“Are you ready, Amor Fati?”
“Of course, Lee Han-gyeol.”
I enjoyed the Awakened Gallery with my right eye.
And the Infinite Regression Gallery with my left.
Twice the gallery browsing.
For the record, I considered taking a verification photo and posting it on the Infinite Regression Gallery, but gave up.
My eyes were looking in different directions, so it would have looked terrible to anyone else.
* * *
Flash!
Pinocchia returned, hugging a longsword longer than her own body.
She even had two B-rank magic stones hanging from her side like cherries, tied there with mana threads.
So she had cleared it, Pinocchia.
“Mission accomplished, Master!”
Still, it had taken longer than I expected.
Was she not a decisive battle weapon?
Why had a Hard-Difficulty Tutorial taken so long?
For now, I ruffled Pinocchia’s hair after her hard work.
Her expression immediately melted as she scattered pink light everywhere.
“You made it back without getting hurt. Was it manageable?”
“Hehe! Are you worried about me? I, the automaton Pinocchia, am a decisive battle weapon who can survive anywhere!”
“Really? Then let’s hear why it took you so long.”
“Ah, well, the Tutorial itself was not a major problem. The sword you asked for was the problem!”
“This one?”
“Yes! According to the message, it’s an A-rank weapon called the Black Iron Sword!”
Black Iron Sword.
The name did not feel quite as powerful as Heavenly Thunderwood Wand.
I drew the sword Pinocchia had brought and gripped it.
Shing!
Unlike Dundo’s dagger, which had been lighter than a mechanical pencil, it felt properly heavy.
A black blade and an impeccably clean design.
More importantly, after enhancing my vision, I could see that the mana held within the sword itself was quite pure.
After hearing Pinocchia’s explanation, I understood why the Black Iron Sword had been measured as A-rank.
‘Of course.’
The sword’s raw attack power was lower than Dundo’s Snake Dagger, but it seemed to have been rated highly because of its special option.
Mana conductivity.
Archmage had said that the higher a weapon’s mana conductivity, the less mana was lost when casting magic.
‘If this is not a weapon made for a magic swordsman, what is?’
I loved it.
Which meant Pinocchia had picked properly.
“You took so long because you were looking for this in the armory?”
“Yes!”
Watching Pinocchia smile brightly, I sheathed the Black Iron Sword again.
I could not imagine what could possibly take so long when she only had to find one sword.
“Pinocchia, you recorded the video properly, right?”
“I recorded it exactly as you ordered, Master!”
“Good. Let’s watch Pinocchia’s mad movie.”
“Preparing it now!”
Pinocchia made V-signs with both hands and held them near the corners of her eyes.
Bzzzz.
‘So Pinocchia’s eyes have a beam projector function too.’
Truly a masterpiece.
Nothing she showed me now would surprise me.
Unlike the Infinite Regression Gallery camera function, the video Pinocchia played was limited to her own field of view. I had no choice but to watch it in forced first-person perspective.
After entering the Tower, she looked around briefly at the Tower message before immediately leaving the Safe Zone.
“Please watch, Master!”
Flash!
The scenery changed in an instant.
A time-limit timer glowed red within the pure white space.
To carry out my order, she immediately headed for the armory.
Creak.
The moment the armory door opened.
“Huh?”
I could not help being surprised.
“I’m sorry! The armory was so big that it took me a long time to find the sword!”
She was right.
‘This is Infinite Castle.’
The armory twisted in every direction like a fractal structure.
I could not even estimate its size from the video.
Han Siyeon’s Tutorial probably had not been like this.
It was reasonable to assume that Monolith had used causality as material to unfairly screw Pinocchia over.
Of course, it was probably trying to indirectly harm me by screwing her over.
That was why my Infinite Regression Gallery achievement had not reacted separately.
‘As expected, you are not going to be easy, Monolith!’
The corners of my lips rose on their own.
“Huh? This place is way too big!”
Pinocchia quickly looked around and began opening the armory doors one by one.
Normally, an armory would be a single room filled with countless weapons. But unfairly, each room held only one weapon sitting there alone.
“Not a sword.”
Pinocchia closed the door and headed straight for the next room.
After repeating that several times, she realized there was a time limit. Her voice turned sulky as she shouted.
“This is too much! At this rate, it’ll take forever!”
Judging from the shadow cast on the floor, she had crossed her arms and stomped her feet.
Pinocchia immediately activated her core.
Fwoosh!
Hundreds of mana threads burst forth and began throwing open all the doors around her at once.
“Oh! Ooooh!”
“Hehe! Amazing, right? I’m amazing, right?”
I had handled mana threads myself, so I knew.
Pulling out that many like that was completely insane.
As expected, decisive battle weapon Pinocchia!
You really were the strongest!
She hesitated no longer.
I did not know how many meters the radius covered, but she opened the armory doors over an enormous area all at once.
“Not this, not this, not this one either.”
She sorted through the weapons one by one, ruthlessly discarding anything that was not a sword.
Five swords remained.
Naturally, the sword Pinocchia had brought me was among them.
“Hmmmm.”
She scanned the swords one by one with her eyes, then licked them.
That series of actions apparently let her judge an item’s value.
Bzzzz.
Lick.
“This is it!”
Apparently satisfied, she took the sword and immediately left the armory. She then slaughtered five armed goblins in only five seconds and returned.
Pewww!
Pinocchia ended video mode and returned to normal.
“I did well, right, Master?!”
Pinocchia looked up at me with a proud expression.
Smiling, I asked her,
“You did great, Pinocchia. Is there anything you want to eat?”
“Hehe, ramen and kimchi made by you, Master!”
“Bring it on.”
* * *
“Slurp! Slurp! Slurp!”
Watching Pinocchia devour ramen, I opened the Infinite Regression Gallery.
The Head mod and Archmage’s attribute lecture videos had already been posted one after another.
I left comments thanking them first, then called over Pinocchia, who had already finished an entire bowl.
“Pinocchia.”
“Yes, Master!”
“Thanks for making your mana so abundant, but can you return to your original state?”
Look at her, with red ramen broth all over her mouth.
I had to send her to the Management Bureau as my representative, but she did not feel intimidating at all.
That would not do.
First impressions were important. If Pinocchia looked easy to push around, even things that should work out would fail.
More importantly, Pinocchia needed to grow again for my plan to contact the Management Bureau.
“I can grow again, but I would have to give up this abundant mana density.”
“Hmm.”
But it would be a shame to give up this mana density.
I looked at the two B-rank magic stones dangling from Pinocchia’s side like cherries.
Pointing to them, I asked hopefully,
“If you eat the magic stones, can your body return to normal while maintaining your mana density?”
At my question, Pinocchia glanced away and avoided answering.
“I’ll clean up.”
Oh, look at this one.
Was she already entering a rebellious phase?
“Pinocchia, back in position.”
Pinocchia clutched the two magic stones hanging from her side and burst into tears.
“N-no! They are souvenirs commemorating the successful completion of the first mission you gave me, Master!”
What was she going on about?
No wonder she had proudly tied them up with mana threads.
“You are foolish, Pinocchia.”
“Huh?”
“What if you lose them?”
“I will never lose them!”
“That is not all. Look at the magic stones again.”
“Hmm?”
I knew magic stones well.
For miracle materials, they crumbled surprisingly easily.
Pinocchia examined the magic stones carefully, then gasped in shock.
“See? They already have scratches. In a few days, they will be covered in scratches.”
If she had tied them separately, maybe it would be different. But since she had strung two together like cherries, they would keep bumping into each other and get scratched.
Though they probably would have been scratched even if she tied them separately.
“How could this happen!”
“You understand what I mean now, right? Rather than letting them get damaged like that, it is much better for you to eat them. Think about it. What defines a souvenir? Do you know the concept of the Ship of Theseus? Is the object important, or is the memory important? Are our precious memories limited to physical objects?”
I babbled whatever came to mind and thoroughly shook Pinocchia’s resolve.
“Uuuugh.”
“The answer is already clear, Pinocchia. Eat them. Become one with the souvenirs by eating them. That way, they can live inside you forever in a beautiful form.”
“I-is that how it works?”
“Yes, that is how it works.”
“So that is how it works!”
I had no idea what nonsense I had just spouted, but Pinocchia seemed to have convinced herself.
Without hesitation, Pinocchia devoured both B-rank magic stones.
Her body immediately grew until she looked similar to when we had first met.
Her eye level was now about the same as mine.
Unlike her tiny version, she certainly had a different aura.
And more importantly, her build became roughly similar to that woman in my memories.
‘By the way, what are those clothes?’
Whether she was small or tall.
Her clothes seemed to shrink and grow with her too.
Anyway.
“You look much better.”
“R-really?!”
At my small compliment, Pinocchia clenched her fists and lit up with determination.
“More magic stones...!”
Now that she had regained some intimidation, I gave Pinocchia her second mission.
“Listen carefully. I am going to teach you how to speak, so remember it well and...”
Of course, the instructions on what she must not do and what she must never forget ended up much longer than the mission itself.
After receiving her orders, Pinocchia nodded and saluted me.
“Got it!”
* * *
That evening.
Kwon Dojun entered the director’s office and frowned at Lee Juhui, who had come in without permission.
“Agent Lee Juhui?”
Something was strange.
The Agent Lee Juhui before Kwon Dojun was, somehow...
Far too different from usual.
“What are you doing here...?”
The bubbly atmosphere she normally had was nowhere to be found.
Agent Lee Juhui silently looked at Kwon Dojun.
Then.
Whoosh!
Bang!
When the agent swung an arm, the director’s office door closed on its own.
Realizing that something was seriously wrong, Kwon Dojun tried to pull a pistol from inside their jacket, but it was futile.
“Shh.”
Agent Lee Juhui raised an index finger to their lips, then pulled a dagger from inside their clothes.
Yes.
The dagger with the unusual design that the Infinity-Difficulty challenger had used when dealing with Lee Geon-woo.
“My master has a message for you.”
Kwon Dojun carefully removed their hand from inside their jacket, sweat dripping down their face as they nodded.
The agent before Kwon Dojun was not Agent Lee Juhui.
They were a messenger sent by the Infinity-Difficulty challenger.
Footnotes:
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