WeTried Translations
Translator/Editor: WeTried
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◈ I Made a Tier List the Transcendents Are Obsessed With ◈
Chapter 14: Victory 1-2-3!
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Nirvakh, the de facto leader of the Void.
And Epin, the most independent divinity among the powerful beings of the Fifth Dimension.
Their relationship was closer to that of frenemies than friends.
Of course, as time passed, the distinction between the two had become blurred.
Still, that was how it had begun.
Epin first encountered Nirvakh as a snake catcher.
Epin had tracked Nirvakh down to capture an aberrant serpent that possessed divinity.
But Nirvakh had not let Epin catch them.
After all, their true nature had never been that of a mere snake.
Over time, Nirvakh became one of the strongest transcendence-class anomalies in the Fifth Dimension and encountered Epin again, who had long since quit catching snakes.
Old grudges were bound to fade.
What began as a hostile connection had become a friendship that lasted through countless ages.
Even their occasional bickering was, at its core, a form of entertainment.
"...Hey. Hey, are you really okay?"
So, even if they called each other frenemies, worry was inevitable when one of them was reduced to such a miserable state.
For Epin, that moment was now.
"If you were going to be like this, you could've at least stayed in your true form."
Nirvakh stared blankly at the sky, looking almost skin and bones.
Their avatar body had dried up completely.
Of course, that appearance only reflected their state of mind.
An avatar body's appearance was entirely unique to its owner, so it was not as though their actual body had been damaged.
...But that only made the situation seem more serious.
"Hey. Answer me."
"Ah... you're here...?"
Only a hollow answer, devoid of even a shred of soul, came back.
Epin thought she could roughly guess the reason.
"Don't tell me you're still trembling over that?"
"..."
"What a joke. Then you shouldn't have run your mouth."
It was obviously about the series of revelations in the gallery not long ago.
Of course, Nirvakh had not actually suffered any harm from it.
Those few posts could never have uncovered the truth behind the matter.
But Oz, the one who wrote them, knew the truth.
That fact was tormenting Nirvakh.
It was not that they feared complete erasure.
In truth, even an ancient divinity from a previous world could not easily erase a top-tier divinity.
Even if it were possible, the backlash would be severe. Nirvakh did not think they would suffer that fate over such a trivial dispute.
...But that truth.
They were simply afraid that the origin of their existence, buried in darkness, would be exposed.
"They don't seem like that kind of person. They haven't said anything since then."
"That's why I'm hiding out like this..."
"Fine, hiding is one thing. But do you have to sit there looking like you're about to die? Looking at you puts me in a foul mood."
What a loser they had become.
Even as Epin showered them with insults, Nirvakh only hung their head.
The avatar body's dark blue-black hair crumbled apart on its own. No matter how one looked at it, this was serious.
Epin let out a deep sigh.
"Ugh... If you're going to be like this, at least apologize. For what it's worth, I think they'd accept it."
"...Should I?"
"It'd be better than sitting here trembling, you dumb fuck."
A god was one thing, but this one was a complete idiot.
As Epin shook her head, Nirvakh cautiously raised theirs.
Maybe that really would be better.
They had considered it several times, but they had been too afraid to act.
What if the answer that came back was entirely negative?
Still, there was some truth to the idea that it was better than doing nothing.
[ Um, Big Sis Oz... are you there? ] - No Existence
[ I was really in the wrong about what happened last time... ] - No Existence
[ I'll do anything I can, so please forgive me... ] - No Existence
So Nirvakh sent an opening message first.
Hoping their sincerity would get through.
Hoping the reply would be a willing forgiveness.
"...What's this?"
The recipient of that earnest message could only express utter disbelief.
"No, was it really that serious?"
I don't dislike you.
* * *
"What's with all this fuss from them now?"
Whoosh!
A flood of apologies from No Existence left me a little dumbfounded.
Sure, I had gotten a bit worked up when they suddenly exposed our DMs and the aftermath got messy.
But was this really necessary?
"Hmm."
At least because of that question, I needed to think from their perspective.
It started with the deal involving the spirit fruit.
The Jade Dew Fruit was not even a top-grade spirit fruit before Transcendence, so Nirvakh, who believed I was a Transcendent, assumed I used it for skincare.
It was rare, with only limited places where it grew naturally, and many powerful beings used it solely for beauty treatments.
That was why they mistook me for someone with a female form.
Then, after hearing they were highly ranked on the tier list, they got excited and spilled everything.
"Still a funny asshole."
Aside from how absurd their antics were, I had run into a little trouble because of it, so I let a bit of personal bias slip into my evaluation near the bottom of the tier list.
...And now we were here.
"What the fuck?"
I had no clue.
Why were they making such a huge fuss?
They seemed to have developed some incredible delusion, but I could not guess why.
...Of course, it was not harming me.
Still, seeing them grovel and tremble like this was a little burdensome.
[ I'll do anything I can, so could you please forgive me...? ] - No Existence
The problem was that I was not someone who got to decide whether they should be forgiven.
Both in the gallery and in real life, I deliberately held my head high and acted like an asshole, or someone trying too hard to be cool.
But that was completely unlike my true nature.
If anything, I had benefited by letting them know the tier list rankings in advance and taking physical goods in return.
Their over-the-top antics in the gallery also seemed to be dying down, so the actual damage they had caused me was not much.
"...Wait."
At first, I was going to reply with a simple, "It's fine."
But then I realized opportunities like this were rare.
Sure, my DMs were already full of Transcendents of remarkable status.
Judging by what they said, they looked ready to give me their livers and gallbladders, anything at all.
In a way, it was only natural. Most female-form Transcendents either had partners or had declared that they would remain single forever.
The desperation of old bachelors who had missed their marriageable years by billions or tens of billions of years was on another level.
If I slowly strung them along, I might be able to squeeze all sorts of things out of them.
But if I did that...
"I really might die."
Even aside from my conscience, I should not toy with a man's sincere feelings.
The result would not be some ordinary knife fight, but galaxy-scale annihilation at the hands of an enraged higher divinity.
So opportunities to legitimately(?) fleece someone like this were rare.
And judging by these messages, receiving something would probably put Nirvakh more at ease too.
What should I ask for?
"Weapons and things like that are a bit much."
Naturally, Nirvakh probably had more incredible treasures than they could ever use.
But most sufficiently high-grade items were restricted by civilization level.
I could not receive even upper-realm grade items, let alone items used in the Great Heavenly World.
This ring was an extraordinary exception because of its special nature. That was why I had given in to my greed.
But taking something far below that level?
That made no sense either. I could just trade the points I had saved up for those.
As I considered the details of a fair, reasonable, mutually beneficial transaction...
...I suddenly recalled something from the novel.
"Ah. That's it."
I immediately sent a message.
Me > [ ■■■. ]
"What's this?"
The censorship in the DM window caught me off guard.
"It censors this too?"
I had never experienced it before, so I had not known the gallery had censorship.
Then again, this did not come up until very late in the original story.
[ Yes, Big Sis Oz. ] - No Existence
Still, a reply came back as though nothing were wrong.
They probably guessed what was behind the censorship.
I was glad I had played along with their Big Sis routine a little.
Me > [ Stop with the Big Sis stuff. And from now on, you won't leak our conversations, right? ]
[ Yes, I absolutely won't! ] - No Existence
Me > [ Stop talking formally too. I wasn't that angry to begin with. Of course I can let it go. ]
[ Really? ] - No Existence
Me > [ I said stop with the formal talk... But do one thing for me instead. ]
[ Just say the word! ] - No Existence
...It seemed the honorifics would take a little longer to disappear.
Me > [ Give me some of your death. You don't have to put much into it. Two scales should be enough. ]
[ Will that be enough? ] - No Existence
Me > [ I told you, I wasn't that mad. I'm giving it to a kid I know, so that's enough. ]
[ Ah, I see. I'll send it right away! And I'm really sorry! ] - No Existence
The joy and relief I could feel through the text were a little ridiculous.
I had made it sound like nothing, but it surely meant taking at least a small loss.
"...What did they think I was going to ask for?"
They must have been prepared to pay a far greater price.
Was this the ultimate scam? A scam where even the victim was happy.
"I hope this isn't building up karma."
I was afraid I might become an evil god once I Transcended, so I probably needed to live a little more kindly.
* * *
The lingering embers of the Fifth-Dimensional Tier List and the speculation about my gender still faintly remained in the Transcendent Gallery.
After the uproar, all that remained were shitposts and chatter about the arguments it had spawned.
Taking advantage of the peaceful atmosphere, I wrote a post.
Partly to toss out some bait for the next topic, and partly to relieve the boredom of waiting for the General Exchange.
- Victory 1-2-3!
- Victory 1-2-3!
- Victory 1-2-3!
- Victory 1-2-3!
- Victory 1-2-3!
- Victory 1-2-3!
- Victory 1-2-3!
- Victory 1-2-3!
- Victory 1-2-3!
- Victory 1-2-3!
- What the hell, why are all the hero assholes showing up? LOL
- Oz, are you from the Empire?
"Ah, fuck. What is this now?"
Apparently, the gallery had only been peaceful while I was absent.
As I cursed at the disaster of a comment section, countless gazes focused on me.
Footnotes:
“Victory 1-2-3!” adapts 필123승, a deliberately altered version of the Korean military salute 필승, meaning “certain victory.” The salute allusion is why the chant draws responses about heroes and the Empire.
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