WeTried Translations

Translator/Editor: Dionysus

Discord: https://dsc.gg/wetried

◈ I Picked Up the Protagonist’s Heroine ◈

Chapter 1: Game over, and over

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A succubus had pounced on me.

A succubus.

In Hanja, its name means “dream demon.”

A demon that drains a man's vigor.

“Oh my, stay still.”

A succubus approaches by taking the form of her prey's ideal type.

Those caught in a succubus's magic dream of spending a night in bed with her.

The dream is as blissful as paradise, but by then, they say, the victim has already surrendered their life to the demon.

A pig dream costs money and brings wealth. A demon dream costs your life.

You die while dreaming.

You die smiling.

“There's no use struggling. You're already under my spell.”

The demon spoke.

“How is it? You can't move at all, can you?”

She brought her flushed face close to my ear and whispered.

She was close enough that no man could possibly resist.

And the destructive contrast of a demon speaking so politely was considerable.

“...Shall I take them off?”

She asked as her hand slid from around my waist to the hem of my clothes.

She asked, but it was not the voice of someone seeking permission.

It was closer to pleading.

“You filthy demon bitch! Take your hands off me!”

I struggled against her, but...

“Ah, I like that. Please do more.”

The hungry succubus was no easy opponent.

If anything, she looked like she was enjoying it.

“You think I'd let the likes of you have your way with me?”

“They all say that. Shall we see how long you last?”

The succubus smiled and reached for my belt.

“God, grant me Your blessing and grace.”

When driving off a demon, the rule was to borrow power from the other side.

I desperately twisted my whole body as I prayed.

“I apologize for interrupting while you're trying so hard, but it isn't working at all. You're still frozen, aren't you? Perhaps your heart has already been corrupted? Or are you looking forward to this?”

“God, grant me the strength to overcome this trial and hardship.”

“Give up. They say the goddess does not heed the prayers of a man whose heart has been stolen by a succubus. Look, you already...”

Bang!

Someone kicked the door open and entered.

As if they could not tolerate the scene going any further, they cut through the heated atmosphere in an instant.

Silver armor engraved with a straight cross.

It was a paladin of the Order.

“Hold on a little longer! I'll save you at once!”

Shing!

The paladin drew his sword without hesitation.

In one smooth motion, he cut off the succubus's head.

Slash!

Black blood sprayed everywhere as her head was severed in an instant.

Her pretty head rolled across the floor.

Beautiful even from the neck up, it rolled remarkably well.

“Thankfully, it appears I wasn't too late.”

The paladin caught his breath, sheathed his sword, and held out a hand.

Clasp.

Without thinking, I took that hand. Then, at that moment...

I realized it.

“Ah.”

I was supposed to be unable to move right now.

“Were you not under a charm spell...?”

I had made a mistake.

I had forgotten I was supposed to be in “that situation” and clasped hands with him, so the paladin began looking at me suspiciously.

“I was, but since you killed the succubus, the spell's effects must have faded...”

“There are candles lit all over the place.”

Ignoring me, he looked around the room.

“Would a hungry succubus really have had the leisure to light bright red candles and create such an impious atmosphere?”

He blew out the candles.

The room grew darker.

The shadows in his deep eye sockets deepened further, casting a chilling shade across his face.

“Furthermore, there is a greatsword and armor lying about carelessly. They look as though they were hastily tossed aside like luggage.”

His gray eyes swept around the room.

“Did you intend to exterminate her in the first place?”

The question ended with a deep sigh.

“Commander.”

* * *

“This is unfair!”

I hung from the chapel ceiling, bound in chains.

My body kept tilting in whichever direction my weight pulled it.

I felt like a chandelier.

“Bishop, surely I can't succeed every time. I tried to exterminate her, but she was unexpectedly formidable, and I failed.”

I added a good-natured smile after my rebuttal.

“You say I was pretending to be under a charm spell? Absolutely not.”

“Daywin.”

The bishop of the monastery narrowed his eyes and glared at me with displeasure.

“Daywin, are you aware that you are the commander of the paladin order?”

“Well... all the previous commanders died. It was simply my turn.”

“You are humble only at times like this. Do you expect me to believe that the commander of the paladin order was defeated by such a... low-ranking creature?”

“Low-ranking? She was clearly top-ranking. Exactly my type, too.”

“I am saying it is impossible that you were affected by a low-ranking demon's low-ranking magic!”

The bishop's shout echoed through the chapel.

Tch.

There was no getting out of this.

“She was a succubus called a Paladin Hunter. She was no ordinary demon.”

“Whether she's a cock hunter or whatever, she is still a low-ranking demon.”

“Not a cock hunter. A Paladin Hunter.”

“Daywin! That does not matter!”

It didn't matter...?

The meaning was very different.

“With the undying enemies closing in, and the commander acting like this...”

“There is no hope now.”

“What?”

When I spoke in an unusually serious tone, the bishop asked with an incredulous expression.

“Those things. There is no way to stop them anymore. Kill them, and they come back to life again and again. The great powers that boasted overwhelming military strength have been swept away one after another. The map itself will have to be redrawn. That is, if anyone remains alive to draw it.”

Unable to find anything to say in response, the bishop fell silent.

“The Sword Saint, called humanity's hope, died in vain, and even the Allied Nations' elite were annihilated. My brothers in the order fell before my eyes, and now... fewer than a hundred remain.”

When I closed my eyes, old memories flickered past.

A past that could only be escaped through death.

“I will say it again. There is no hope now.”

“No. As long as the goddess watches over us, there is hope.”

Well, I knew the bishop would say that.

But mentioning a goddess from another world did not give courage to someone who had been an atheist in Korea as well.

Korea.

It had been so long since I had thought of home that I could not even remember the last time.

I had simply opened my eyes one day and become the youngest son of a count's family.

Strangely, this world's language and customs were already in my head.

Reincarnation sure was convenient in many ways, I had thought.

I had lived in this other world, a world with magic and monsters.

Now, I had reached the end of the world.

I had never wanted to become a paladin.

This body merely had absurdly strong holy power. It was not because I revered some phony goddess.

If my family had not been destroyed, I would never have fled to the paladin order.

I would have lived comfortably as the count's third son.

Not that it meant anything now.

Bang!

The door opened while I was thinking.

“Bishop!”

It was the same paladin who had kicked down the door last time.

If the order had a soldier in charge of opening doors, it would undoubtedly be that guy.

His name was Chris.

“You must evacuate immediately!”

Chris shouted urgently.

“Evacuate?”

“Right now...”

Before Chris could finish speaking.

Crunch!

Part of the chapel roof vanished.

As easily as peeling away a layer of a crepe cake.

The stone building crumbled.

The presence was right behind me.

Thanks to hanging from the ceiling, the sound and vibration traveled through me perfectly.

Or perhaps...

It had been aiming for me from the beginning, but missed because my body had tilted.

Grrrk.

A massive claw appeared through the torn roof.

Then it pushed its rotten face forward for all to see.

The horns that had once brushed the clouds were broken limply, and the eyes that had somehow contained overflowing magic had lost their light. Yet its overwhelming presence remained.

A dragon.

That plague had revived even a creature of myth.

The continent's Sword Saint, the Allied Nations' elite, the paladins who had led the way before me.

And the paladins who had followed me.

They had all died, swept away by the undead.

Yes.

It was simply my turn.

“Hoo.”

I drew up my holy power with a long breath.

I...

Crack!

Shattered the chains wrapped around me like vines in a single blow.

Chunks of iron split into dozens of pieces and fell in a shower.

I landed alongside the fragments of chain raining down from the ceiling.

“Chris, bring me my sword.”

“Please stop leaving it behind!”

Whoosh!

Chris twisted his whole body and threw the heavy greatsword.

He had brought it intending to give it to me from the start, so what was he complaining about?

Thud!

I caught the greatsword in both hands and pointed it toward the roof.

Aiming at the zombie dragon's rotten, stinking face, I wrapped the blade in holy power.

Hummm.

The cold greatsword took on a warm color like sunlight.

“Chris, about that succubus.”

“Are you finally admitting it?”

Chris drew his sword beside me.

Rather than flee with the bishop, he stepped even farther forward than I had.

“As you know, when a succubus gets you, your body and mind are paralyzed. You thrash around and die. You die unable to tell whether it's a dream or reality. Without pain or resentment.”

“Yes, which is why a succubus's magic is the greatest disgrace for a paladin...”

“It was the most comfortable way to die.”

Of all the choices I had left, it had been the easiest way to die.

If I was destined to die in the end anyway, I wanted to choose at least how I died.

I did not want to die miserably.

“Sorry for interfering for no reason, Commander.”

Chris gave a mocking little laugh.

“You don't need to apologize. I failed anyway. Just as the bishop said...”

I raised both arms high.

The greatsword, ready to unleash sword aura, hummed as though it would burst at any moment.

“I don't fall for the low-ranking magic of a low-ranking demon.”

From above to below.

I swung the greatsword.

Boom!

A beam condensed from intense light slammed into the ruined roof.

And that was the first time.

Absurdly enough.

A message appeared before my eyes.

[Ending (30/31) Unlocked]

[Paradise]

『Come to think of it, Laward had a mission to save the world, but he had long since forgotten something like that.

He had been given the chance to marry no fewer than five beautiful girls.

The world's destruction did not concern him in the slightest.』

Laward? Beautiful girls?

What was this...?

『Laward decided to spend the little time remaining until the end without regret.

Someone else would surely make the noble sacrifice.

The paladin order, strong against undead, would probably do their best.

Rather than clumsily stepping in, leave it to the professionals.

Laward held weddings with all five beautiful girls at once and spent the rest of his life enjoying pleasure.

He had an end without regrets.

But the world was destroyed.』

“...”

It felt as though my heart had dropped.

Those words, that name, burrowed deep into my mind.

I remembered.

Five years ago.

Laward had been the protagonist of a game I played before coming to this world.

The protagonist of a cute-girl dating simulation made by my university junior in a club.

A game.

A dating sim, at that.

...This was not another world.

This damned world had revealed its most important information at the latest possible moment.

Only after five years.

Only at the brink of destruction.

Above all, I learned one thing for certain.

Game over.

Returning to the title screen.

Restarting from the first save point.

I was nothing more than an extra.

* * *

“Gasp!”

The moment I opened my eyes, I drew in a ragged breath.

It felt like I had just escaped a nightmare.

My heart pounded so busily that its sound echoed in my head, giving me a strange sensation.

Bang!

Perhaps I had made quite a loud noise, because someone roughly opened the door and entered.

“What is it!”

This was the third time an innocent door had been mistreated.

But this time, it was not Chris, the order's door-opening specialist.

“Young Master! Are you all right?”

The family's head steward rushed over with a worried expression.

Ah.

Those familiar gray hairs.

Those familiar wrinkles.

I saw a familiar ceiling.

Sunlight filtered through the window, along with the scent of old books.

As if the scent of perfume I had worn long ago had drifted past, my sense of smell pulled old memories out at will.

Thanks to that, my mind slowly settled.

My room.

My home.

The peaceful past, peaceful enough to be boring.

“...I'm fine.”

So this was what it meant to restart from the first save point.

I had returned to the time five years ago, when I first came to this world.

Before the world was destroyed.

Before I became a paladin.

Before my family was destroyed.

Then, let me think.

About this world.

And about that game.

The message window had clearly said an ending had been unlocked.

That the world had been destroyed upon opening the thirtieth ending.

Endings.

Out of thirty-one endings, there was only one where the protagonist saved the world.

It was the path where the protagonist, Laward, rejected every heroine and set out to stop the apocalypse.

A hidden ending that triggered only by overturning the usual ultimate goal of a dating sim, romance.

An ending where you had to make five women cry at once.

“Ha, haha! I see. So it was unrequited love... That's fine, it's fine. Don't worry about it! I'm really... fine!”

“Why are you suddenly acting like this? Didn't you feel the same way? You have an, another woman now, don't you? Someone like me is just... in the way?”

“How presumptuous. You thought I would find you even more interesting if you rejected me here, didn't you? It is a good strategy, but it is not the correct answer. Sigh... I shall give you one more chance.”

“How funny. Even after hearing that, I still think I want to have you. You can have me, too. Yes, it's funny. Every word, action, expression, and gesture I showed you, I regret all of it. I never thought about it before, but suddenly I do. I should have been a little prettier.”

“...Why? Then who do you think suits you? Is there another woman prettier and kinder than me? Or am I just... No. I'll just do better. Please?”

I remembered the scene where the heroines' illustrations appeared one by one.

They had looked so pitiful and wistful.

They looked as though the world had ended merely because they had been broken up with.

Even though it was the only ending where the world did not end.

As I continued thinking about the endings, I realized something.

What I had to do was simple.

I had to recreate the hidden ending.

I had to interfere before the protagonist got together with the heroines.

I would challenge the protagonist.

I would destroy the harem.

A paladin from the frontier had no chance to meet the protagonist's group, whose main stage was the academy.

Moreover, before becoming a paladin, I had never even left home.

Instead of venturing into a new world, I locked my door.

Even if I merely breathed in my room, I could eat as much fine food and drink as I wanted, servants stood by to attend to my every need, and no matter how much money I spent, it never ran out.

There was no reason to go adventuring.

Insurance over adventure.

Safety first.

Foolishly, I had believed that decadent lifestyle would last forever.

Now, I had the experience of reaching the world's end.

I had an opportunity to correct my mistakes.

Rather than me becoming a paladin, it would be better for the protagonist, Laward, to save this damned world, this world that would soon be destroyed...

“Wait.”

A paladin?

I only had to stop the protagonist from romancing the heroines.

I... knew a position where love was a sin.

I knew it very well.

I could make the protagonist a paladin.

If the protagonist became a devout paladin, he would naturally abandon every heroine.

Because paladins had to remain chaste.

“This is it.”

This was all there was to it.

Making Laward into a paladin.

The more I thought about it, the anger buried deep inside me surged up.

Paladins had to remain chaste.

They had to protect their “first” until the end.

And I had been such a paladin.

While some people could not even hold a woman's hand because they were trying to stop the apocalypse, what was this?

Pleasure? A harem?

The nerve of that bastard...

You can suffer it too.

I'll make sure you grow old and die single.

Footnotes:

“Cock hunter” recreates a Korean mishearing between “paladin hunter” and a phrase meaning “genital hunter.”

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